Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a brothel. The Priest says to the Rabbi… Wait, why are you laughing? You’ve heard it before. That’s probably a good thing anyway because I might have been banned from the internet if I repeated it here. Witty punchlines and non sequiturs aside the point remains unchanged. No matter what our age, sex, or religion happens to be, we can’t just hope things are going to get better. We need to prepare for the future. For myself that means maintaining my perfectly quaffed facial hair with treatments of only the finest oils and herbs from the orient. For JB, and he might get mad at me for telling you this, but he has this pink rubber bowl looking thing. It has a wooden handle at the top and after about 5-10 minutes with that in the bathroom I swear he comes out looking taller. Definitely more confident. Still though – even the giants will shrink to the size of us mere mortals one day. In fantasy basketball – as in real life – we can’t sit back and hope we are the next giants to be. In a dynasty league, when our season is lost, that means selling off our older, declining players, and buying stock in the future. Since we here at Razzball endorse insider trading, here is my take on a few future blue chippers:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve seen it time and again in this year of NBA action, which has looked more like an episode of “E.R.” wrapped inside a scene from “Grey’s Anatomy” inside Nurse Jackie’s scrubs than it has the FAN-tastic exhibition of athletic excellence constructed by now-ex-commish David Stern.
The injury domino effect has wreaked havoc everywhere in real life, wrecking players’ seasons, sending some teams into tank mode while helping other teams tank.
In the fantasy world, the impact of these boo-boos has been equally killer for some owners and the big ones don’t even need to be listed. You all know ‘em.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Man, that title seems all sorts of wrong… But what is right is Nikola Vucevic returned to action last night For a solid 16/10 dub-dub in only 20 minutes. Efficiency! Shot 6-12, 4-4 from the stripe and added a few steals. Very encouraging return for a guy people were dismissing since he had no timetable from the concussion. Concussions can really jack ya up, but hopefully you stayed true on your course to the playoffs and have a dynamic top-20ish big man. Of course the Magic now have lost value in other places, with Big Baby going 5/4/4 in 32 minutes, Arron Afflalo looking like the scrub I’ve said he was all year (still think his 20+ PPG is one of the most preposterous stats this year) and Tobias Harris temporarily moving to the bench. Although T Dawg isn’t Walking Dead (going 9/11/3/1/1 in 37 minutes), he shot like a stiff going 2-8. Afflalo is still a sell as soon as you can, Davis a drop, and hope you bought low on Vuc while there was a window open. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dude, I had the title “Breaking News – Nets File Paperwork To Relocate To London” all ready to go for a Nets open, then saw everyone was saying that… #Groupthink! So let’s all sit back and marvel at what Lance Stephenson did last night. The 28/4/4/1/0 line was not his best line on the year, the %s (10-17 FG 3-7 3PTM 5-5 FT) were awesome, sure, but I think he did something ridiculous that was off the stat line. He looked like the best player on the floor. Just look at some of these sick dimes! But you do have to question why he fell over on that second one… Haha… Maybe made them look better than they actually were by flopping around like a fish out of water… Anywho, Stephenson had some concerns with two bad games right when Danny Granger was back, but has quickly quelled those question marks and back on track. With Stephenson cemented, I think it’s time to lose George Hill in virtually all formats if you haven’t already. Breaking news – I know – and we’ve talked about it a few times in the comments, but his shocking 81% -ownership in Yahoo combined with last night’s 3/3/5 game (marks his highest assist total since December 20th) – it’s just not happening. In fact, if you told me heading into the year Stephenson (5.2) would be averaging two more assists a game than Hill (3.3), I might’ve spontaneously combusted. But hey, it’s working for the Pacers and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Unless of course you’re in first place in a 10 or 12-team league and still own Hill… You can fix that! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Even though he looks exactly like the youngest kid from Malcolm in the Middle, Steve Blake is playing like an NBA PG in the top. Last night’s 16 Asts gives him 10+ in four straight, and starting to remind us of Chris Paul who has started the year with the ten straight 10+ dime games. You can’t go anywhere in LA without someone trying to give you a dimebag! I think that’s going to be a new term I’m going to add into the Razzball lexicon, 10+ assists equals a dimebag. As in, “the Lakers got so high last night with Steve Blake handing out a dimebag!” Pretty soon it won’t even be a crime anywhere. Rasheed Wallace is like, “man I played at the wrong time!” Blake is an obvious must-own in all leagues, and I think will be all year. He’s been D-Antoni-ed. Here’s what else I saw across fantasy hoops over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Man, what a huge night it was across the NBA with nearly every team in action. It obviously all starts with the shocker Philly put on the Heat, and Michael Carter-Williams‘ unreal debut. I was following with my co-workers during the game and tweeted that if he got a triple-double in his first NBA game, the universe would implode. Thankfully MCW was a steal short and we’re all still here. His final line of 6-10 (4-6 3PTM 6-8 FT) 22 Pts 7 Rebs 12 Asts and 9 Stls might actually win some owners their matchups this week on its own. Just preposterous. Most steals in NBA history in a player’s debut. Ok before we all go nutso, remember the Heat played without Dwayne Wade (rest), don’t have a PG, and had all their hands weighed down with new championship rings. So that’s not really an excuse, but so what?! The shooting efficiency was fantastic (the biggest knock on him coming into the year), plus he had only one turnover (his second main knock). ”Nice knockers!” Thanks Young Frankenstein! MCW indeed moves up a fair bit in value in my eyes, but this is likely his best line on the year. MCW was wildly inconsistent in college and I don’t expect much consistency on a terrible 76ers team (I know they just beat the Heat, but c’mon). Look for John Wall to lock him up on Friday and cool the hype. Despite inconsistencies, it goes without saying that MCW should be owned in all leagues now (78% Yahoo, 59.4% ESPN), so if for some reason he’s available in your league, you gotta get him. I’m not expecting MCW to be an elite player, but will continue to contribute even in down games. Here’s what else I saw across Fantasy Basketball last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away… Is that too cliché? Yeah it is, but there’s a point. You knew where it came from as soon as you read it. You can hear the soundtrack playing in your head. Well, now that I said it you can hear it. There’s even a chance you might remember the first time you saw it. That’s what drafting LeBron James feels like. It’s a smell in the air, a taste in the back of your throat that tells you there’s something familiar here. The nurturing feeling of resting against LeBron’s bosom. Ahh… Hold me LeBron. That’s not what this series is going to be about. This here is akin to trying to remember the first time you saw Spaceballs. Sure it’s a classic, but we both know you weren’t in the right state of mind to remember the first time you watched any Mel Brooks movie. Am I right or am I right? I can hear your silence loud and clear.
Let’s all now jump into our Delorean, Phone Booth, Hot Tub or whatever your time machine of choice is and travel back to last October. There was something with very large fantasy implications happening in Houston. It was not the trade for James Harden. I’m talking about the position battle at SF between Carlos Delfino and Chandler Parsons. If you would have chosen wisely then you would have gotten the closest thing I can imagine to the fantasy holy grail. A top 50 player at the low low cost of a free agent pick up, even in the deepest of leagues. This will be my gift to you. No, not this overpriced knockoff but the next best thing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ve never been that bothered by snakes. Now I never went out of my way to play with them or anything (except my own – bada bing!), but never ran the other way either except when I was in New Mexico when I was like 7. When I was working on my parents mountain house when I was in high school, there was a snake under the scrap heap I was clearing and I killed that little bitch with a shovel. If that doesn’t boost your testosterone, then I guess you need to contact Tony Bosch at Biogenesis. The resident snake of the NBA (in name only – easy Laker fans), Kobe Bryant, the Black Mamba himself, went down hard after twisting his ankle last night, and blames Dahntay Jones for intentionally crowding him. I thought snakes didn’t have ankles? Well, this injury after sliding into 8th place in the West just puts the icing on the cake of the Lakers ridiculous season. Right now the prognosis is “out indefinitely.” About all you can do is make your sacrifices to the fantasy gods and cross your fingers. One thing Kobe has going for him is that he is resilient to injury and can heal quickly. He’s kinda like the Derek Jeter of the NBA. And Jeter never had any ankle issues…. I could see Bryant back sooner rather than later, but stay tuned.
Here’s what else went down in fantasy basketball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You’ve heard it elsewhere but hear it again here, Kevin Martin is now on the Oklahoma City Thunder and James Harden and his beard are now with the Houston Rockets. Also in the trade, Jeremy Lamb goes to OKC and Cole Aldrich plus other guys head over to Houston.Please, blog, may I have some more?