The Celtics’ impressive 16-game winning streak is now over. Is it a coincidence that 16 is half of 32, which is the number of games that the ’71 Lakers won in a row? I do not believe in coincidences, until I do. Which makes this iteration of the Celtics half the team of that glorious Lakers squad. All kidding aside, it was an impressive run. The team stepped up when they lost Gordon Hayward, Brad Stevens is now a legitimate Presidential candidate, Kyrie is…..well, Kyrie, and the defense has been the league’s best, by a big margin according to defensive efficiency. I tried everything in the book to jinx the streak. Voodoo dolls, shrines, sacrificing of virgins, and rubbing my scrotum with four-leaf clovers. All to no avail. I had to harken back to the past. All the way back to the ancient days of the early 1990’s. It was during that time, the secret was unlocked by the Leprechaun movies. You see, in the original, the leprechaun is defeated when the well it falls into is blown up. Explosion. Fire. In the third movie, the lepechaun is defeated via flamethrower. Heat was needed and Heat we got Wednesday night, as the Miami Heat took down the Boston Leprechauns 104-98. Who led the way? None other than Goran Dragic, aka the Dragon, who was spewing fire from all over the court: 27 points, five boards, four dimes, and one liberation. He shot 8-of-17 from the field and 2-of-4 from downtown. Waiters Island was booming, as Dion Waiters scored 26 points, grabbed two boards, and dished out six dimes. He shot 11-of-24 from the field and 4-of-10 from downtown. How do you beat the Celtics? Shoot 49.4% from the field, which was 4% higher than their season average. Translation: bring the Heat.
There was only one game in the NBA last night. There’s 14 games on Wednesday, then zero on Thursday. C’mon NBA. You couldn’t at least split up the Wednesday slate so that we could at least play DFS? Anyways, watching the game last night reminded me of the Running of the Bulls festival in Spain. The Bulls were allowed to run rampant and get any shot they wanted. The Lakers defense was matador-esque, at best. It got so bad that I started preparing the lede for the post with Antonio Blakeney, who scored 15 points, grabbed two boards, and dished out a dime in 18 minutes. Who’s Blakeney? Well, for a half, he was this. But then, the Bulls remembered who they were: tied for last in offensive efficiency and 25th in defensive efficiency. The Lakers started chipping away, the crowd at Staples started feeling it, and the energy kept elevating. And then….it was Randy Newman time.
Am I a few months too early on my title? Yup! Do I know Thanksgiving is on the mend? Yup! Am I talking about Denzel Valentine? Yup! Did we all just become best friends? Hell ya we did. Like Denzel Washington, Denzel Valentine is efficient, reliable to perform when called upon, and a jack of all trades. Some of the best movies of Washington’s era have won slews of awards. He has won 39 total awards in his career, including three Golden Globes and two Academy Awards. Denzel Valentine? He was the Lansing State Journal Player of the Year as a senior in High School, George Alderton Male Athlete of the Year (Michigan State award), The AP National Player of the Year, The Big 10 Player of the year, and a 1st Team All-American all in his senior year of college. Between these two Denzel’s we have a ton of awards to talk about, both on and off the court. Today, we talk about Denzel of the Bulls from House Chicago. Yes, I am re watching Game of Thrones for the 3rd time and that’s just the way I speak now.
Dinner was done, the kids were in bed, the dog was walked, and I was just about to kick back and finally watch the next episode of Stranger Things Season 2, when my phone buzzed. It was an email from Son letting me know that he had not left the bathroom since happy hour ended at his local sushi joint and he needed me to write today’s fantasy recap. So of course being the dedicated Razzball soldier I am, I let him know that I would add to my assist total and take the rock. It was only after agreeing to write the recap that I realized this was one of the busiest nights of basketball all season, so Son, I want to see a doctor’s note.
I know I have some big shoes to fill, but I will do my best to entertain the masses with a recap of yesterday’s action.
There was a time when Top Ramen was life. Cheap, easy to make, and quite delicious. It’s a good thing I didn’t stay poor for long because researchers concluded that eating too much ramen noodles could increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. Hold on. Let me go smoke a cigarette real quick. Ok, I’m back <cough cough>. I knew I had made it in the world when I was able to eschew the Top Ramen and scrape open a box of Golden Curry. Still easy to make, but to fully experience the awesomeness of each packet, rice and some veggies were a necessity. You need a cooker to make rice. That’s a huge step up in the hierarchy. It’s akin to when man figured out how to make tools and weapons to hunt and gather. Anyways, thinking about those wonderful days of my life got me thinking to the brothers, Seth and Steph Curry. Seth is Top Ramen, while Steph is Golden Curry. Both are productive and satisfy one’s fantasy appetite, but Steph takes it to a level that only a few can appreciate. Last night, Steph scored 39 points, grabbed 11 boards, dished out seven dimes, and pilfered three on 14-of-24 shooting from the field and 4-of-10 from downtown. The 39 points and 11 boards were both season highs. Now, Kevin Durant did not play in this game and the opposition was the Brooklyn Nets. With that said, this Curry has been hot and spicy to the tune of the number two overall player in fantasy.
Howdy basketboys and girls, welcome back to another Saturday recap special. There was a great game last night as Ben Simmons and the Sixers almost cooked Steph Curry’s Warriors. The Sixers jumped out to an early 47-28 lead after the first quarter, but the Warriors did Warriors things and pulled off their own 47-15 rout in the third quarter to take back the lead and put the game away. Simmons had 23/8/12 on 11-for-15 shooting and only one turnover in the close loss. Wow. We knew he was great, but he’s blowing past everyone’s expectations this season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy basketball:
Oh yes. Kemba was top shelf last night. 5-47-6-5-0-0-1. Took a lot of shots, no pun intended. 27 was the final tally, but he was hitting them (17 FGM). Kemba has been just a tiny bit of a letdown to start the year, but this game puts him right back on track. It wasn’t enough to beat the powerhouse Chicago Bulls though, as they fell 123-120 and dropped to 5-9 on the season. Man, the East is not good…The Knicks might make the playoffs! There were a lot of games last night, so I’ll try to touch on the most important/interesting stat lines. Anywho, here’s what went down on Friday in the NBA:
Before I begin, the Razzball site was down all day yesterday. Either the Russians and North Koreans were hacking us or our servers couldn’t handle all the pings from people wanting to read our content. We are flattered by either scenario. Anyways, we just wanted to apologize for what happened and thank you for being patient. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming….
I used to hang out with this girl waaaaaaaaay back in the day. She was not the prettiest girl. She was not the smartest girl, but we could have endless conversations about nothing and everything. And boy, could she dance. If you know what I mean. When I watch James Harden play, I always think about that girl. She did not look like him, you weirdos. Harden won’t dunk on anyone’s grill or make Superman-esque plays. His game is in the subtleties. He waits and probes until he sees a defender cheating one way or the other. Then, like a Viet Cong hiding in the bushes, attacks. And boy, can he shoot and Euro-step. If you know what I mean. Anyways, last night Harden scored 48 points on 12-of-22 from the field and 6-of-11 from downtown. Kobe’s like, “Does not compute.” Ladies, he’s a very charitable guy, as he went 18-of-18 from the stripe. It’s doesn’t end there, though. Harden also grabbed two boards, dished out seven dimes, pilfered two, and blocked one. I am excited, but that’s just a tent in my pants. Now, it was against the Phoenix Suns so there’s that. But how about this? He got busy with Chris Paul making his return with 21 minutes of run.
I’m old enough to remember when a simple “ha or hee hee” sufficed when conveying happiness and/or laughter over the internet. Granted, that was at a time when laughter would literally be heard because phones were strictly for voice communication. What a time to be alive. Anyways, now we are all a bunch of digital Shakespeares. Our expressions are so vast and deep that they require acronyms. ROTFL, IMMD, GTFO, WYSIWYG……Get off my lawn!!! It’s only appropriate that the player in today’s lede is none other than LaMarcus Aldridge. LMA as many call him. Unfortunately, his play the first two years in San Antonio caused many to LMAO! The points, steals, assists, rebounds, and field goal attempts all decreased from the lofty levels of his Portland days. Prompting fans in Texas to yell things NSFW. Then, a funny thing happened over the offseason. Pop sat LMA down and told him to change the O from off to offense. Essentially, turning that frown upside down. Then, the Spurs gave LMA a three-year, $72.3 million contract extension and Kawhi Leonard went down. It’s all LMA Offense now. Every offensive category has shown an improvement from last year. Yes, it’s only been 13 games, but it’s no longer a laughing matter. He’s currently a top 20 fantasy player and last night led the Spurs to victory with 32 points, five boards, four dimes, a steal, and two blocks.
Back when I was a youngun and not lazy as hell, I used to play in a pickup basketball game, mostly of men 10+ years older than me. There was an older guy, Lou, who came to play in full gear. Wrist bands, knee braces, slicked back silver hair. He would bring up the ball, run the point, fake passes that fooled nobody, wave his finger around like he was running a play, the whole kit and caboodle. The only thing he lacked were rec-specs. He even hit the occasional flat footer from the top of the key. When Lou scored, the whole place sighed, making the defender feel like shit. At the end of the game, Lou would take off his shirt, wipe down his sweat, make you feel like you’re in a public pool locker room, zip up his nylon jacket, and wish everyone a good evening. He also cursed like a trucker and set the most illegal picks known to man.
Kind of like this guy
Something about Lou Williams reminds me of good ol’ Lou. When Williams comes off the bench, you know he’s shooting, but you can’t stop it. He takes some shots that make you close your eyes, yet, he’s draining them. He plays every game like it’s a revenge game, and his stat line somehow never disappoints. Williams is 17 points, 2.8 rebounds, 3.4 assists, and 2.2 3PM per game, shooting 45% from the field and over 90% from the line. Those are useful numbers. It makes no sense to me whatsoever that he’s available in leagues across America. We’re talking about a guy with multi-positional eligibility, who’s been unconscious from all over the floor, especially the last week or so, and he’s not virtually owned. Now, maybe, just maybe, the only reason why I have him as my man pots and pans this week is because I wanted to write about my boy Lou from back in the day, but, please, go out and pick up Lou Will asap, because dude is going Jon H-A-M every, single, night.