Week 5 is as dead and buried as the Bobcats’ playoff chances and in the RCLs, we’re seeing some more leveling offt and a few teams falling off. One Piece remains about as untouched as the hors d’ouevre plate we all saw the hostess sneeze on and Marty McSuperfly had a McStupefying drop. Bleu Waffle House / Onions, Baby! Onions have each played 162 games in the first five weeks (32.4 games per week) leaving me to wonder if there’s anyone still driving those cars or if Jesus has, in fact, taken over their wheel. On the flip side (or Flipcide, if you were in the Wizards’ front office this week!) Team joniuscaesar has played 218 games in the first five weeks (43.6 games per week) and should finish out his fantasy season sometime around mid-February.
In the interest of pitting entire divisions against one another, Wall’s Dougie League and Big Ball Dance League both have five members in the league-wide top 20. Chili Shimmy only has two, suggesting that perhaps that league is the most well-rounded and competitive. Below are the league leaders, only one of whom leads in both total and per game average (Significant Otter, despite having played the 12th fewest games in the entire league has grabbed more rebounds than all other teams and is averaging 1.1 boards more a game than the no. 2 guy. I don’t remember ever seeing a guy slaughter a category the way he is slaughtering rebounds).
California Defenders, Dream Shake League – .4787 FG% One Piece, Big Ball Dance League – .8224 FT% Andray the Giant, All-Star Dance-Off ’08 League – 210 3ptm (1.050, 2nd overall) Smokey Mcpots, Dream Shake League – 3,158 pts (14.896, 8th overall) Significant Otter, Chilly Shimmy League – 1,327 rbd (7.540, 1st overall) Fear the ‘Stache, Wall’s Dougie League – 739 ast (3.502, 9th overall) Fear the ‘Stache, Wall’s Dougie League – 268 stl (1.270, 3rd overall) SmokinTrees, StrokinThrees – 163 blk (0.803, 5th overall)
There was wide speculation yesterday afternoon that Baron Davis would make his season debut against the team that released him five weeks ago after he told them he wouldn’t be healthy for at least eight. Whoops. Davis didn’t show his mug last night, but all signs point to this weekend. If you haven’t added him yet, what are you waiting for? The Knicks have had the easiest schedule up until this point and they have a losing record. So of course, New York’s answer is to add one of the most troublesome players in the league. If he’s not hurt, he’s fat. If he’s not fat, he has a terrible shot selection. If his shot selection is under control, well, Lord help y’all ’cause that means he won’t be passing much. Barone “Sanitation” Davis (for you Sopranos fans) is far from a sure thing, okay? Keep that in mind. But sure thing or not, the Knicks need a facilitator. Not someone who will take an unending series of bad jumpers (Iman Shumpert) or a guy just as likely to hand the ball to the other team than his own (Toney Douglas). So, yeah, Davis is a must-add, much the same way Greg Oden would be a must-add if he was scheduled to start for Portland. Being a must-add doesn’t guarantee anything except that the upside is high and the price is low. Even in his four worst statistical seasons, Boom-Dizzle averaged 13 pts/7 ast/1.8 stl and 1.2 3ptm. This is more or less what I’m expecting for as long as he can stay healthy. Eventually (if not immediately) New York will move Davis into the starting lineup. Fields will likely stay at the two, moving Shumpert to be the first guard off the bench and Douglas to spend most of his time on the bench playing “Is She From Jersey Or NYC?” Here’s what else I saw in a jam-packed night of fantasy basketball.
Amar’e Stoudemire – Double-doubled for the third time in four games while surpassing or matching season-highs in both rebounds (14) and turnovers (6). Grab a Powerade and maybe take a breather on the desperation trade offers you’ve been sending since December trying to rid yourself of the guy.
Antawn Jamison – Dropped a hot 13 points at the half and ended the game having scored a significantly less hot 15 points. Significantly less hot like buying a Starters jacket in 1988 when it was okay to do that and walking around with it today like it is still okay to do that. Your 15 points are pretty old, ‘Tawn!
Al Jefferson – The injury gods thought it’d be funny to swap Jefferson for a healthy Josh Howard. Thus proving that the Gods are about as fond of the Salt Lake City area as most Democrats.
Derrick Favors – Took the open starting lineup spot left by Jefferson and ended with 16/12 and a block. It was his third double-double of the season, but most of his other games have been utter cowpies. As long as Jefferson is a center on this team, Favors will always be the second-prettiest girl in the clique. The second-prettiest girl is always just as pretty as the prettiest girl, except for one flaw, like a flat butt or a wonky eye. Favors has a wonky eye compared to Jefferson. *Note: Derrick Favors does not have an actual wonky eye. However, I DO believe he had a flat butt as a teenager.
Tyrus Thomas – Started. Ended with 13/9, with 4 steals and 9 blocks. Nine blocks!?! Oh! Em! Gee! EVERYONE BETTER RUSH TO PICK HIM UP OR TRADE THEIR SECOND-BEST PLAYER FOR HIM BECAUSE THIS IS THE START OF A CAREER YEAR. Settle down, Mr. Capital Letters. This was against the Washington Wizards and Charlotte was running without Mullens for much of the game, Augustin, and Henderson. Also, this was against the Washington Wizards. I may have already mentioned that.
Matt Carroll – All season-high everything as Carroll ended with 17/3/1 on 7-for-10 shooting in 35 of Gerald Henderson‘s minutes. Henderson pulled himself out of the lineup complaining of a bruised tailbone. Even if Henderson misses another game or two, Carroll shot .700. I’d bet Thomas gets 9 blocks in the next 10 games before I bet Carroll does that again this season.
Byron Mullens – Left with a hand injury, but came back to be just as ineffective as he was prior to the injury. Time to grab your Diaws, kids, as Mullens’ time in the spotlight is probably nearing its end. Nope. Not those Diaws. Grab your chubby French Diaws. Not those, either. Where did you get those? That’s terrible.
Andrew Bogut – He “boguted” his ankle, so you just know that shizz was gross. He was helped off the court and never returned, which means that Drew Gooden just became your new best friend. Or if not your best friend, the person you invite over to your house to watch “The Bachelor” (because watching it alone is soooo pathetic).
Shaun Livingston – 6/0/2, in 18 starter’s minutes. Stephen Jackson – 20/1/3 in 30 reserve minutes. So that’s where that’s at.
Jrue Holiday – Came into last night’s game shooting .397 in his last four. Then he shot 5-for-13 last night. He finished with seven assists for only the second time in his last 10 games. So suddenly, I’m thinking a little bit less from column A and little bit more from column B and we’ll be straight.
Austin Daye – After starting the season 0-for-14 from the arc, dude has hit 7-of-his-last-11. His 28/6/3 performance last night was more of what I envisioned than the 4/2/1 he’s averaged so far. Let him string together a couple more solid games before you waste a spot on him, though.
Trevor Ariza – Shot 1-for-8. Ended with 2 points. THERE he is! I missed you, Trev’.
Ronnie Brewer – 20/10/5, with a quartet of steals. I told you two days ago to pick him up. You picked him up, right? Tommy, tell me you got that!
Joakim Noah – Has anyone noticed JoaNoa is averaging 11.8 pts/11.3 rbd/2.5 ast/0.8 blk in his last four games? No? Well, I suppose you didn’t notice that I got my haircut yesterday either.
Wayne Ellington - Luke Ridnour was out with a sore knee. Or maybe he and his knee both just stayed in and watched a movie. I’m not sure. Either way, Ellington took his place in the starting lineup and ended with 16/4/3, with a bunch of other fun little stuff to help your fantasy team. It was easily his best game of the season and one that he is unlikely to duplicate anytime soon. Keep any eye on him, just in case I’m drunk, but I’m pretty sure I’m not drunk and I’m positive that under no circumstances should Ellington be on your team. In fact, I’m disappointed in you for even reading this passage because it suggests you were considering putting Ellington on your team.
Linas Kleiza – 25 points, but it took him about five quarters to get there. Kleiza owners have to rollover 20 percent of last night’s stats into Toronto’s next game.
Ty Lawson – Sprained his ankle. If you’re reading this less than seven hours after it happened, I’ll know more and update this blurb in the morning. If you’re reading this more than seven hours after it happened, then clearly I’ve dropped the ball and I’ll be happy to refund every last cent you paid for this service.
Tiago Splitter – 16/8/2, with a block in 20 minutes from the bench. He’s really starting to develop into a solid FA pickup. Duncan finally accepted his Words With Friends invite, that’s why.
Matt Bonner – Drained five 3ptm on his way to 17 points. Bonner Jamz, ’12!
Marcus Thornton – To miss 1-2 weeks with a left thigh injury. Jimmer Fredette is the obvious add, but seeing as how the majority of the West is gaga for JimmyJam, he’s likely taken in many leagues. For you deep leaguers, take a look at Isaiah Thomas. He’ll see a bump in minutes and ended with 13/1/4 last night.
Chris Paul – Returned. His shot was rusty, but he doled out 10 assists in under 16 minutes. A dozen over the course of 26 minutes.
Stephen Curry – 32/6/7, with 4 stl and 6 3ptm. See the Stoudemire blurb about 7 inches above this one.
Brandon Rush – He’s quietly averaging 10.5 pts/4 rbd/2 3ptm, with solid percentages over his last six games. He’s also quietly reading the last book in the Hunger Games series and hasn’t been talkative on team flights lately.
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Do you have $100? No? Do you want it? Sure you do. Daily Joust is hosting a $100 prize contest tomorrow night. It’s free to enter, which is nice. And winner gets a cool hundo, which is also nice. Unfortunately, those who do not win will most likely be hunted down and killed for sport. /re-reads the contest rules. I’m sorry, I misread that last part. Those who do not win will not be hunted down and killed for sport. At least not by the fine, fine people at Daily Joust.
Two weeks ago, the New York Times published an article detailing the rapid decline of triple-doubles in the NBA. On Monday, Kyle Lowry went 16/10/10 against the Timberwolves, earning just the second triple-double of the season (Rajon Rondo earned the season’s first on January 1, 2012 against Washington).
Below is a visualization of how accurate the Times’ assertion actually is.
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In the last 26 seasons, there have been 1,026 regular-season triple-doubles. The vast majority (974) were pts-rbd-ast triple-doubles, 47 were pts-rbd-blk triple-doubles, three were pts-ast-stl triple-doubles and two were pts-rbd-stl triple doubles.
The typical NBA season is 24 weeks long and yields an average of 41 triple-doubles each season, or 1.7 every week. This season has seen that average plummet to 0.4 trip-dubs each week.
If the two lockout seasons are removed in addition to the 21 triple-doubles earned in those two seasons, there are 1,005 triple doubles spread out over 24 seasons.
The largest outlier occurred in the 1997-98 season, the season before the lockout season. Despite playing almost 900 more games in 1998 than in 1999, the earlier season saw just two more triple-doubles. As suggested in the graphic above, a large number of players with a knack for earning triple deuces missed a fair amount of games that season, but enough to account for about half the number of triple doubles it should have had? Not likely. In 1997-98, the league averaged the seventh-worst ORtg and the eighth-best DRtg of the last 26 years, which also doesn’t truly account for the lapse. Alterations to league rules such as hand-checking (instituted a couple seasons earlier), or moving the three-point line back to its original position also don’t account for the dearth of triple-doubles in 1998, as the same effects were not seen in the seasons before or after. Perhaps that Bulls team was so good that it left opponents who had just faced them shattered for several games afterward or terrified for the five or six games leading up to it.
It appears that maybe the Rookie of the Year race could resemble the Dunkin Donuts jumbotron race the United Center plays during time outs atBulls games. It’s nothing special: an animated donut, coffee cup and bagel race twice around an animated track. There are six pre-recorded outcomes that play on a loop every six games. The coffee cup starts off with a huge lead, slows down and here comes the bagel. Now the donut takes a big lead. Last turn, here comes coffee cup. Oh, it looks like coffee cup. Except that coffee cup has suddenly stopped and bagel finishes! The place goes nuts. The only two things that get Bulls fans more buzzing is when the team scores 100 points and everyone wins Big Macs and when Brian Scalabrine enters the game. Go figure. People enjoy races that don’t matter. So when I tell you that the Rookie of the Year race has Kyrie Irving in the lead, after MarShon Brooks and Iman Shumpert took brief and early leads, I don’t blame you when you roll your eyes. For fantasy purposes though, it’s worth speculating that with D.J. Augustin missing the Cats’ next three games due to an inflammatory condition of the sesmoid bone (which is either a busted big toe or the title of the most awful of Dr. Who episodes), Kemba Walker seems poised to make his own jog around the ROY track. Last night, Walker earned a career-best 22/5/2 line that included 2 blk and 2 3ptm in 36 minutes. Maybe this game is an anomaly borne from nice timing and we never see him do this again. Maybe he carries this on for another week, then returns to 11/3/3 for the rest of the year, or maybe this is the spark that catches fire. Any which way, own Walker if he’s unowned, play Walker if you haven’t been and always root for the donut at the United Center. Here’s what else went down Tuesday night in fantasy basketball.
Wait! Don’t go just yet. There’s still time to get in on the $1,000 NBA fantasy hoops contest over at Daily Joust. Even if you don’t win the jackpot, there are still small money prizes to be had for entrants. People are still into money, right? I’m very out of touch! Anyway, click here or in the upper right corner of this page to check it out. See it? Okay, back to the blurbs.
Derrick Brown – Season-high 15 points to go along with 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 33 minutes. By season’s end, you will have owned every last member of the Charlotte Bobcats.
Bismack Biyombo – Played 11:07, didn’t block nothin’. Remember what I said two days ago: he needed 23 more seconds.
Ryan Anderson – 24 points and 5 3ptm last night. The night before? 0 points, 0 3ptm. Two-game averages? 12 pts/2.5 3ptm. See how that works? We’re good.
Glen Davis – Big Baby jumps with the meager force of someone launching from a patch of black ice, which explains why his shooting percentage is .345 in his last four games, but not how’s he’s managed to average 7.8 boards in that span.
Darren Collison – Failed to dole out one assist. Matter fact, not a single Pacer guard managed an assist last night. I don’t know what a tiny Pacer is for, if not to hand the ball to the larger Pacers standing closer to the basket.
Carmelo Anthony – Held scoreless in the first half of a game for the fifth time in his career. Ended the game with 1 point in 30 minutes. It was the first game of his career he played that many minutes without scoring. Just 32 more games to catch up to Dennis Rodman.
Iman Shumpert – 1-for-9. ShumpShump has never taken more than six shots in a game before tonight. The fact that he chose his absolute coldest game to do so tells you much of what you need to know about the rookie.
Amir Johnson – I could have made Aaron Gray the subject of this blurb about Johnson losing his starting spot to one of the statistically worst players in the league, despite the fact that he’s healthy, but I didn’t. I didn’t because Aaron Gray is not a fantasy option for any team. And right now, man, neither is Johnson.
Andrea Bargnani – Drained 34 points along with 5 3ptm after returning from six games worth of calf pain. With DeRozan completely pooping out this season, Bargs is Toronto’s best offensive option, bar none-i.
DeMar DeRozan – 4/1/2, on 2-for-8 shooting. SELL! /Adam has the urge to throw something breakable against wall, has nothing in his hand with which to throw, goes to the kitchen to grab some crackers, hurls them against the wall, not good enough, picks up a coffee mug, crashes it against the wall, not good enough, picks up cat, looks at cat, decides the mug was okay enough, puts cat down.
Antawn Jamison – 2-for-6, with 5 points. This after his 1-for-10, 4-point performance on Friday.
Ronnie Price – 4/5, with 2 steals. Jared Dudley: 6/1, with 3 steals. Meh. Tomato-To Otto.
Raymond Felton – Two assists, six turnovers. Ray-Ray’s assist:turnover ratio is, I think, um … shizz:balls.
It’s a veritable Ron-a-thon in the FA pool. Derrick Rose returned after a couple games off and tagged out Deng for what looks to be at least a week. The first thing you need to know is Luol Deng came into Monday night leading the league in minutes played through the first quarter of the season. The second thing you need to know is that Deng and his 38.3 mpg are having wrist-issues (wristues?) and there ain’t no telling exactly how long he’ll miss. In his place? Ronnie Brewer. Brew (no one calls him “Brew”) had 9 pts/3 rbd, with a three after one quarter (he played all 12 minutes). Had he ended the game with that, you deep leaguers would consider picking him up. The fact that he played 27 minutes, scored 11 points, blocked a shot, and ended with five rebounds on an off night against a team the Bulls were never excited about playing, bodes well for Brewer’s value. This is why the Bulls are so damn good. Their reserves come in, fill up the stat sheet for a couple games and slink back to reserve roles when the starters return. For as long as Brewer is starting for Deng, he should be owned across all leagues. I don’t think it will be long, as Deng was expected to try to gut it out even a half-hour before the game and the injury is on his non-shooting hand. But even if you get one more game out of Brewer, he’s going to play big minutes (last night excluded, due to the New Jersey’s sucktitude). No player playing that many minutes shouldn’t be owned. Rip Hamilton and Kyle Korver are the other Bulls most likely to benefit from Deng’s limp wristedness. Hamilton is the major add, but he’s owned in the majority of leagues. Brewer isn’t. In other Ronnie news, Phoenix doubled-down on Ronnie Price remaining the starting SG in place of Jared Dudley. Last night, he went 3/0/1, with 2 stl and a 3ptm. /sarcasm Good thing they moved Dudley’s weak line out of the starting lineup \end sarcasm I don’t like a Price pickup nearly as much as a Brewer pickup, but production is gold and minutes are gold and mares eat oats and does eat oats and little Price is gravy. Below are some kids who’ll eat ivy, too. Join us, won’t you?
Rip Hamilton – Double-doubled for the first time in almost exactly two years (January 27, 2010). That means he’s not likely to start double-doubling all over the place. So settle down about it.
MarShon Brooks – Out with Achilles tendonitis. Yeah, THAT’s why the Nets lost by 50 points. It was only 15. Not in spirit, it wasn’t. Anthony Morrow took his place and hit 15 points with little else. They’re basically the same player. Now that I think about it, have you ever actually seen Brooks and Morrow in the same place? Yes. They’re teammates. We’ve seen them together often. Ehhhhh, I’m not so sure. Isn’t Marshon Brooks just an anagram for Anthony Morrow? No. Clearly not. There’s no “s” or “b” in Morrow’s name. Dammit, Mr. Italics! What’s WITH you today!?!
Rodney Stuckey – Good enough to play in place of the more-injured-than-Stuckey Ben Gordon. Not good enough to help his team avoid getting blown out of the Chesapeake Energy Arena by 20 points.
Kirk Hinrich – He’s set to make his season debut on Wednesday. But don’t get it twisted (or betwixted, if you’re reading this from the 16th century), Teague is your starter and Hinrich really isn’t worth more than, say, Udrih, Cole or Farmar. Don’t freak out, Teague’s your man (For now!) Ignore my doom-and-gloom parentheticals. I’m just kidding (Or am I?) I am. (Probably.)
Ryan Anderson – 0-for-8, three fouls. Easily the worst shooting performance of his career. Before tonight, Anderson had never gone more than six shots without making one. His previous worst: November 11, 2009, 2-for-14. He and Orlando deserve each other.
Brandon Bass – Coming into last night’s game, Bass had amassed 37 pts/24 rbd with 3 blk in his last three. 19/8/0 last night. Put your abacus away. He’s averaging 14/8, with 0.8 blks this week and he’s still widely available in most leagues. Jrue story.
Eric Gordon – After a scare most of yesterday that he may have had a fractured kneecap, reports stated that his knee is structurally sound, but that he’ll miss another three weeks. Still, my guess is he’ll miss more than three weeks worth of games. Adjust your Marco Belinelli personalized calendars accordingly.
Elton Brand – 11/2, with a steal in the first 8:30 minutes = good. 6/7 in his next 20:30 = bad. Good + bad = 17/9, with a steal = still good! This is why I hate math. On another note, I have no statistics to back this up, but it seems pretty clear to me that playing sick makes people better at basketball.
Andre Iguodala – Seven assists in the first 9:30. I could do this for Thad Young and Jodie Meeks and Jrue, but what’s it matter? It was against D.C. Cut all of Philly’s stats by a third and you’d have an accurate idea of what they’d have done against a professional basketball team had they played one.
JaVale McGee – Five total rebounds in two games, because oldasses Jermaine O’Neal and Tony Battie are simply too much for him. Blocks be damned, McGee is awful.
Derrick Williams – Drill put on his big boy pants and took his first turn in the starting lineup. (11/7 in 37 minutes.)
Ricky Rubio – Shot 2-for-10 last night and .386 on the season. Also, I just threw up in my mouth a little … wait. *urp* Just threw up in my mouth a lot.
Kawhi Leonard – Shot (and missed) one shot in 7 minutes. That’s it. That sound you’re hearing is either a sad trombone or Leonard’s ship setting out to sea. Or maybe there is a sad trombone on his ship.
Trevor Ariza – Hey! Will you lookit ol’ Trev’ playing pretty well and averaging .440 from the floor, 14.5 pts/5.5 rbd/4.3 ast, and 2.8 stl in the four games since his return from injury! Ain’t that just prettier than eyelashes on a bull steer? I don’t know what that means.
Luke Ridnour – Ridnour ending last night with a 17/3/8 line three weeks after all of Earth had forgotten all about him is like remembering how hot Tiffani Thiessen still is after all these years. Oh, hey. That’s great. Way to go!
Serge Ibaka – Ten blocks in his last two games, 16 blocks in his last four. Say what you will about him: you wanted blocks, he’s giving you blocks.
Ian Mahinmi – 17/9, as he missed his first double-double by one rebound. … Or seven blocks if you’d prefer to take the long way around. Yahn ain’t a bad stream in deep leagues while Nowitzki takes his extended breather. Odom is the biggest beneficiary in theory, but Mahinmi had a fine game last night.
Marcus Camby – Camby left the game early with mild groin spr … oh, who cares? You saw Camby’s name and you already knew everything you needed to. You just knew. Look at Craig Smith if you’re desperate.
January 27, 2012 by: Adam Category:
Razzball Commenter Leagues
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