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I might be making this up, but doesn’t Denver play the Flavor Flav “Yeah Boy!” when Randy Foye hits a three?  Well I hope they do!  After a brutal Super Bowl for the Broncos (and America), the Denver populous got some slight redemption with Foye hitting this buzzer-beater last night.  Sportscenter!  But even with that game-winner, Foye had a rainbow flirt of 14/7/4/1/2.  That’s not ThrAGNOF!  Even with Ty Lawson back, Foye is rackin’ up multi-cat!?  I haven’t been a big Foye fan for shallower leagues this year – I thought he was constantly overvalued – but getting 16 dimes in his previous game then a nice all-around line last night with Ty-Ty back; I think I’m a little more a believer.  Sure it’s only one game against a fast-paced Clippers team, but 40+ minutes yet again last night and now in three straight games and Foye is looking pretty locked in for good value right now.  Owned in 57% of Yahoo leagues seems a little thin.  Show ya Foye a little Flavor of Love.  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Evan Fournier – Wellllll there goes that… Only 9:16 last night while the aforementioned Foye/Lawson backcourt played 85 minutes.  The Virgin just didn’t get any action!

Joakim Noah – Turned the Bulls/Kings game into an episode of Jerry Springer!  “Quick, grab Taj Gibson, make him act like Steve the bouncer!”  Got a second technical on – and yes even I as a Noah hater would admit – a pretty ticky-tack loose ball foul then started cursing out the refs and had to be pulled off the court by some Bulls assistant coach.  Was pretty hilarious.  New commissioner Adam Silver is going to get to flash his wings with a decision here!  Could be a game suspension, or just a fine, I really don’t know.  But stay tuned in case Noah gets a suspension.  If Noah does, he’ll probably be like, “Adam Silver can sign MY balls!”

Derrick Williams – Hahahahahahaha.  Shaqtin a Fool…

Brandon Knight – Oh man, am I in love!  I’m probably going to rank Knight with a Luminescent Lithuanian-type reckless abandon next year…

J.R. Smith – Well if you hung through shoelace-gate and the subsequent benchings, you’re doing just fine right now.  30/7/3 with 6 treys.  Still doesn’t make me a Smith fan though… “A good shooter when he’s on!”

John Henson – Still out with a sore wrist.  Larry Drew made him do pushups after missing a layup in practice.  While I made that up, Drew would be pulling some sort of pedantic coaching strategies.  Get him outta there!

Lee Daniels’ Caron Butler – “All the wins the Bucks have is because of that Butler!”  Not true in the slightest… Suffered a high-ankle sprain and will miss some decent time.  Tough to really say there’s a winner with this news given Drew’s overly-talked about crap rotations, but should keep Giannis Antetokounmpo fairly busy.  15/3/2/1/0 in 29 minutes last night, and if the allure of multi-cat still calls to you, I think now is the time to reach into the Alphabet Soup.

Lee Daniels’ Jimmy Butler – “The Bulls would’ve lost by 40 if not for that Butler!”  That’s actually true… 17/5/1/3/0 and about the only Bull who did anything worthwhile.

D.J. Augustin – Still have faith.  31 minutes and still racked up 7 assists despite shooting an atrocious 2-11.  The Bulls fell asleep in Sleep Train…

Blake Griffin – 36/11/4 but not quite enough for a Clip W losing on the Foye heartbreaker.

Chris Paul – Reported he’ll be back either Friday against the Raptors or Sunday against the 76ers.  If you’re a Paul owner, you’re frothing at the mouth for that 76ers matchup to end your week.  He might go 15/5/15 in 20 minutes.

DeMarcus Cousins – Returned from the ankle sprain and looked really friggin’ good.  25/16/4/0/1 and shot 8-15.  Still made a lot of whiney faces though… But hey, the Kings crushed in the battle of whining front lines.

Jimmer Fredette – Give it to Jimmer!  5-5 (1-1 3PTM) 11/1/4/2/0 and looked like an NBA player.  Knock on wood, but if Isaiah Thomas got hurt, there’s a slight chance Jimmer could start.  Very slight, but this was the best I’ve ever seen him play (albeit in pseudo-junk time and limited minutes).

Nick Calathes – Speaking of PGs barely getting minutes then all the sudden thrust into starting roles, Mr. Alopecia himself Nick Calathes with a solid 8/3/3/4/0 line and no TOs.  Should’ve played more minutes too (only 29) – seemed to drive the Grizzlies offense pretty well.  Worth the stream while starting if you can.

James Johnson – Continues to look really good when he plays.  8/6/4/0/2 with some crazy moves like this layup.  In the most un-breaking news you could ever imagine, Tayshaun Prince looked awful.  Still don’t think JJ would hopscotch to 30 minutes a night in the starting line-up, but games like this one make it hard to dismiss that thought entirely.

Steven Adams – The 20-year-old plays like a big bully out there.  Love it.  He’s 7-0 and moves ridiculously well, and looked awesome last night for 5/5/1/1/4 in 23 minutes.  Slim is by no means crazy for loving him in dynasty.  I do too.

Victor Oladipo – Another tough shooting night (2-11), but you love the 6/5/11/4/0 line.  Helps the dimes that Jameer Nelson was out again, but hey, not too shabby.

John Wall – Rainbow alert!  Call the rainbow police!  22/5/5/3/2 with two treys to ice the cake.

Robin Lopez – 12/9 with 4 blocks.  Had 9 blocks in his last 7 games before this one.  So I’m still not going to give RoLo any love.  Well for fantasy.  In real life, he’s been a big help for the Blazers.  And if he wants to, you know, hit me up and go out for a drink I wouldn’t say no…

Dwayne Wade – Why you held onto him.  A lot of people were talking drop and you just can’t do that.  30/10/5 shooting 13-19 and looked fine.  Still not trying to buy off any owner though.   They would surely jack up the price tag after this game.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – 3 fouls in 8 minutes and just never saw the floor.  Damn that Wade!  I thought he had bum knees!

LeBron James – Rainbow alert!  Triple-double flirt!  24/8/11/2/2.  He’s decent at basketball…

Brandon Jennings – Rainbowed as well for 26/4/6/3/2.  Unlike Wade, BJ did officially get my buy low tramp stamp.  Hopefully a few owners were able to pick him up for cheap during that shooting slump.

Tony Wroten – Still able to rack up 18/6/3/1/0 in only 25 minutes behind a starting PG Michael Carter-Williams.  Wroten is going to be a playoff gold mine when MCW gets shut down.  I just know it’s gonna happen.

Kevin Garnett – Got a rainbow line out of nowhere.  I guess anything is possible!  6/7/4/2/5 in what might be his best line of the year.  I would fact-check that, but since he’s barely fantasy relevant, I’ll just throw out a broad guess there…

Mirza Teletovic – ThrAGNOF!

Tyreke Evans – Hurt his McRib last night.  Hey, at least it’s not another McAnkle!

Alexis Ajinca – Very solid 8/10/1/1/2 in 27 minutes.  You just never know what C will get run, but if Ajinca stays in the high-20s he could be a deep league source of blocks for you.

Tony Parker – Going to only talk about French players from here on out apparently… 32/9.  Furious Frenchman abound!

Anderson Varejao – Waittttt, he’s not French!  Got back into the lineup for 10/5/0/3/0.  Only 25 minutes and should be owned in virtually all leagues.  I bet a few impatient owners cut him loose.

Kyrie Irving & Jarrett Jack – Both had 3 boards, 8 dimes and 3 TOs.  Cue the Justin Timberlake single!  Kyrie put up 27 to Jack’s 12… Jack shot a better percentage though!  “Give me the ball, coach, wahhhhhhhh I’m Jarrett Jack!”

Tristan Thompson – Crushed you in our bet last night Slim!  17/8/1/0/2 vs. Andray Blatche‘s 0/0/0/0/0.  The bet was specifically for one-day only on Feb 3 right?

Jose Calderon – Handed out a dimebag.  11/2/10, only 1 TO, shot 4-7 and 3-5 from deep.  The underrated year continues!  Wanna know what else is underrated?  Chest hair.

Terrence Ross – The Ross giveth and the Ross taketh away.  Crikey!

Kyle Lowry – Ruh roh.  Knee soreness and had to come out early.  He said it’s not serious, but this is Kyle Lowry we’re talking about.  I’m a little worried.

Greivis Vasquez – 28 minutes of 12/3/4/1/0 and would be a big pickup if Lowry misses time.  Keep a hawk eye on this one.  Or is it hawk’s eye?  Keep Iowa on it…

Rudy Gobert – A whopping 31 minutes.  0/8/1/0/3.  It’s like old DeAndre Jordan numbers!  Enes Kanter didn’t get any Favors without Derrick Favors in the lineup, with Enes only going for 20 mins.  Corbin hates Kanter like D’Antoni hates Jordan Hill

 

I hope everyone got a big start in a full slate of Monday games, and don’t forget to ThrAGNOF tonight on a lighter slate!