There was a lot of crying going on yesterday. And it started at precisely 12:00:01 am, as cries of joy echoed for the start of the new year. At the same time, there were countless cries of disappointment, as guys (too many to be honest) tried to kiss their NYE dates and got denied. There were cries of the sexual passion variety, and cries to the Porcelain God. Cries of pain for trying to get back into shape, and cries of elation from the millions of couch potato football fans. But, the biggest Kawhi came from Toronto, as Kawhi Leonard did this to the Utah Jazz:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
45 6 1 0 0 2 0/3 16/22 13/17

A career-high! Over the past six games, he’s averaged 31.3 points, 1.2 threeecolas, 7.5 boards, 1.8 dimes, 1.2 steals, and been the #15 player in fantasy. He’s had a usage rate of 33.5! I was so wrong about Kawhi in the offseason, as I had my doubts about his health and mental motiviation. Well, I just want to scurry to the corner and sit on the stool with a dunce cap and Kawhi. The only blemish has been the decrease in blocks. Currently, he’s averaging 0.5 per game. The last four seasons, Kawhi has averaged 1, 0.7, 1, and 0.8 blocks per game. I think that number ends higher, but even if it doesn’t, I won’t shed a tear for his owners, as (outside of injury) he will still likely be a top 10 player for fantasy.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh Washington. Like the great Linkin Park song, you tried so hard and got so far (not that far), but in the end it doesn’t even matter.  The John Wall/Bradley Beal combo looks so good on paper, but they never really got the complementary pieces to make it work. Ownership tried to cobble together something resembling a good team, but they could only get second rate players, afterthoughts, and Dwight Howard. I feel for teams like them. You know they’re not going to win a championship, but they’re still pretty good. The timing was all wrong. A bunch of players who were great at certain times in their lives, just couldn’t all be great at once. Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, John Wall was out for the Wizards and Bradley Beal went 4-40-11-15-0-1-8 on 17-of-33 shooting and 2-of-2 FTs in a mind-boggling 54 minutes of triple-overtime glory. He could be headed to the Lakers or elsewhere, and no one on Washington is really safe from being traded, so for now, Wizards fans are just going to have to enjoy what they have. Pretty much what they’ve been doing for their team’s entire existence… Hopefully, you had some players on the Suns or the Wizards.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boy, the way Lonzo played

Cleveland wishes LeBron had stayed

Man, they really had it made

Those were the days

Dated All in the Family reference aside, the Lakers really abused the Hornets last night. Side note: The All in the Family theme song gets super inappropriate after the first verse talking about how freaks used to only be in the circus and that there’s too many people on welfare, but that’s Archie Bunker in a nutshell. Okay, back to B-Ball… Charlotte was coming off a back-to-back, so it was a perfect storm for the Lake-Show to put up some big lines. The Lakers had two players with double-doubles: LeBron James and Lonzo Ball. For LeBron, this was one of many, and for Ball, this was one of many to come, but for two players to get a trip-dub in one game is special. This feat has only been accomplished five other times, most recently when Jason Kidd and Vince Carter did it back in 2007, when the Nets played in New Jersey. Those were the days! Mark Wahlberg would have been proud, even though he’s a Celtics fan, because it was the Perfect Storm for the Lakers to have a historic night. Ball went  2-16-10-10-5-1-2 on 7-of-11 shooting making 1-of-2 FTs, while James went 2-24-12-11-1-0-3 on 7-of-15 shooting and 8-of-12 from the line. On another side note, George Clooney got a bunch of men killed in that movie over some damn fish… Anyway, here’s what else went down in the NBA on Saturday night:

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Frank Sinatra was a cool cat. A member of the Rat Pack, Sinatra was a singer, actor, producer, and was considered one of the most iconic performers of his generation. “Ol’ Blue Eyes” would make the women swoon and get Son to sing one of his most famous tunes….My Way….at a K-Town karaoke establishment.

“Regrets, I’ve had a few…But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do…And saw it through without exemption. I planned each chartered course….Each careful step along the byway….And more, much more than this….I did it my way.”

Sounds like my fantasy career, which brings me to Langston Galloway.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 3 3 2 0 0 4/10 9/20 2/3

Played 37 minutes yesterday. The prior game, Galloway played 31 minutes and attempted 15 shots, with nine from downtown. The Pistons are banged up right now, as Ish Smith, Reggie Bullock, and Stanley Johnson are all down with injuries. You could regret picking up Galloway, as he’s a career 38% shooter from the field. But then again, he is a career 35% from downtown. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. If you need threeecolas, Galloway has attempted 19 in the past two games. Chart the course. With each injury that the Pistons endure along the way, there will be minutes and shot attempts….and more, more like this….realize that you did it Galloway.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Party favors are the best. You get a gift for giving a gift. You get a gift for good attendance. I kid. They are gestures of appreciation or gratitude from the hosts for helping them celebrate an event. Doesn’t matter how big or small, how luxurious or crappy, they always put a smile on the face. That’s exactly what Derrick Favors did last night.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 10 0 1 1 1 0 10/13 4/4

That was his second double-dub of the season. Now, did it help that Rudy Gobert got ejected three minutes into the game? Sure. The minutes, shot attempts, and rebound opportunites all ticked up. With that said, he’s been a top 100 player all season, even though he’s been averaging only 22.8 minutes per game. 10.4 points, 7 rebounds, 0.8 steals, and 1.3 blocks are not bad numbers. Like I said, party favors come in all shapes and sizes. This party Favors will put a smile on your face most nights.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Remember those times when that girl or guy would call or text and mention that the parents were gone? Ooohhh, how I miss those times? I would get so excited. Well, the last two games in Houston, Chris Paul has been a good neighbor and notified the team that he’s out. Oooohhhh, that means it’s James Harden‘s time to get us Harden excited. On the season, Harden is leading the league with a 36.5 usage rate, but when Paul is off the court, that number spikes to 45.8!!! On Saturday, Harden scored 40 points and dished out 13 dimes. Last night….

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
54 8 13 3 0 11 7/15 17/32 13/15

A fifty burger with 13 assists and 11 turnovers. That’s truly messing around. Anyways, even with the 5.8 turnovers per game (which leads the league by over 1 per game), Harden is still the #4 player in fantasy. If that doesn’t get you Harden excited, then you’ve got issues I don’t want to subscribe to. Beep. Boop. Bop. The Stocktonator was Harden excited, as it had him as the #1 player last night. Now that’s something you can subscribe to.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 2008, Dwayne Wade averaged 30.2 points, 1.1 three-pointers, 5 rebounds, 7.5 assists, 2.2 steals, and 1.3 blocks in 38.6 minutes per game. In 9-cat leagues, he finished as the 3rd player in fantasy that year and it started a Golden Age. The following three seasons, Wade finished as the 7th, 7th, and 5th overall player. No wonder the property taxes in Wade County skyrocketed. But then Father Time started collecting his pension and Wade declined after his age 30 season: 95th, 96th, 72nd, and 222nd finishes. As a result, his 16th season in the NBA was to be a farewell tour. Maybe a token 20 minutes a game with a couple of rocking chairs were on the menu. But Wade a minute!

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
35 5 6 0 1 3 4/7 13/22 5/7

Played 34 minutes and led the team in shot attempts. Wade is averaging 24.5 minutes and 11.5 shot attempts per game on the season, but the efficiency has been inconsistent. He still has ceiling, though, as evidenced by last night’s game. I’m just waiting for April 9th, when he plays his final home game. Kobe shot 50 times and dropped a 60-burger in his final home game. I believe!

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man…I really feel for Markelle Fultz. He was the #24 recruit out of high school and received scholarships from over 20 colleges, participated in the McDonald’s All-American Game, was a member of the Team USA Under-18 squad, First-Team All-Pac-12 and Third-Team All-American in college, and was selected with the first overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft. On top of the world, as they say, at the tender age of 19 years old. But then the yips surfaced. “The condition occurs suddenly and without apparent explanation…It is poorly understood and has no known treatment or therapy. Athletes affected by the yips sometimes recover their ability, which may require a change in technique. Many are forced to abandon their sport at the highest level.” The most well-known athletes to succumb to the yips are Chuck Knoblauch, Nick Anderson, Mike Vanderjagt, and Rick Ankiel. Is Fultz about to join them?

It’s looking likely, as TheAthletic wrote an article yesterday saying that Fultz is dealing with wrist and shoulder issues AND would prefer to move to another team. I’ve been a mental midget at times in my life and have dealt with depression as well, so I empathize but understand some of the realities of the shituation. I was able to hunker down in my cave and deal with my demons, but he’s in the public sphere with everyone all up in his business. The pressure and attention must be debilitating. I feel for you Fultz and wish the best.

This is a fantasy website, though, so I must address the implications from a fantasy perspective. The Fultz stops here. Do not use the Fultz, as the issues seems to be mental. He took an entire season off to deal with it, yet it’s only gotten worse. If he’s having trouble with this, imagine Draymond Green yapping about the yips in his ear. He’s a drop in most formats. I guess in the deepest of leagues, you could stash him as a lottery ticket, but that’s about it.

Did the Boston Celtics sabotage him? I guess the most important thing to take away from all of this is that one should always be cynical when a team is willing to pass on the consensus number one overall pick in the draft.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kevin Durant is a polarizing player, due to his off-the-court decisions and shenanigans. There was the decision back in 2016 to join the Golden State Warriors that put many into a tizzy. I was fine with his decision, but I understand why people had issues with it. After being Mr. Nice Guy in OKC, Durant took on a blase, laissez-faire attitude. Some appreciated the rawness, while others wanted a more calculated, LeBron-esque persona. There was the burner account incident. Lame, but I kind of get it, as it’s tough for any celebrity to truly speak their mind. KD just be messing around. What can’t be questioned, though, is his production on the court. Over the past four years, Durant has finished as the 3rd, 1st, 2nd, and 5th player for fantasy according to Basketball Monster. Currently, he’s 3rd as he’s posting 27.4 points, 7.4 rebounds, 6.8 assists, 0.9 steals, 0.8 blocks, and 1.5 threeecolas. He’s shooting 54% from the field and 91% from the line. So good. Anyways, last night he truly messed around:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 11 10 1 2 4 2/4 10/24 11/13

That was his 11th career triple-dub. A surprisingly low number, but he wasn’t always the most willing passer early in his career. With Steph Curry expected to miss a few more games, KD should continue messing around. Shoot, even when Curry returns, KD should continue messing around because that’s what he does.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week we take a look at the Northwest Division, which boasts some exciting teams to watch, some great individual offensive talents, and one seriously unresolved soap opera situation. This division is filled with teams that keep coming at you; hardworking, team-oriented outfits that don’t stop until the whole tree is on the ground. In other words, what the Timberwolves want to be.

Please, blog, may I have some more?