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Another offseason trade, another three teams involved. Do only good things happen in threes? No, of course not! There aren’t three patties on a Big Mac, therefore I rest my case… and before someone tries to convince me that Wendy’s can do three patties, I’m here to cover trades and talk about hamburgers, and I’ve already filled my quota this season for hamburger content. Herego, let’s go over the unique trade that landed another star for the Suns and set in motion a true rebuild (can it be finally?) in the nation’s Capital. And actually, to do this right, or at least in an efficient manner, we’ll add one more bonus trade that’s related! Bonus anything is good. Except canned asparagus, that is actually not good at all. I’m thinking I might just be hungry, regardless, here’s how the Suns to Wizards to Pacers looked…

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Kevin Durant is back!

For what feels like the millionth time. How many times does this guy have to be “back” before it’s not even a story anymore? I guess he gets infinite re-entries on this – ESPN even used the exact headline “KD is back!” It literally never ends, but I guess we gotta talk about his fantasy impact anyway.

Elsewhere on OKC Thunder throwback night, Russell Westbrook went HAM against the high-flying Memphis Grizzlies. Let’s dive in and take a look at these throwback performances under the fantasy basketball microscope.

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Most things in life have an ebb and flow to them. Some have steady drumbeats while others are volatile like an illiquid capital market. In order to get to the top of any venture, there is usually a combination of both. At some point, there are breakthroughs and jumps of multiple levels. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander was selected by the Clippers with the 11th overall pick in the 2018 NBA Draft. He averaged 26.5 minutes per game as a rookie and showed that he belonged, putting up 10.8 points, 2.8 rebounds, 3.3 assists, 1.2 steals and 0.5 blocks while shooting 47% from the field and 80% from the line. He was the 141st player for fantasy on a per-game basis. He was then traded to the Thunder in the Paul George deal and immediately played 34.7 minutes per contest. He finished as the 53rd player for fantasy, the first significant jump in his career. He improved in each of the next two seasons, but at a pace akin to the sink filling up, drip by drip, finishing 44th then 32nd. Then 2022 happened, and Shai rocketed up to where he is now, as a top 5 player. Yesterday, he continued to show that he is now one of the best and most well-rounded players in the NBA:

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March Madness starts today and a lot of people’s brackets will inevitably be busted almost immediately. At least that’s how it goes for me most years, but let’s not worry about that right now. When March Madness goes awry NBA DFS will be here for the rebound! We have a small five-game slate here so fewer options are available than usual. #1 piece of advice as always is to be up to date on injuries, as the info in this article will only be up to date as of Tuesday night. Value is rough right now and you’re going to have to play some mid range players that aren’t ideal.

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I’ve heard Florida is where woke goes to die, which seems like a pretty fair assessment. I remember my dad living in the Tampa Bay area back in the day and generally napping all the time, so I have to assume America’s nursing home has only gotten more sleepy. And while this war on being awake continues, it’s always important to remember that America’s armpit is home to one of our country’s most sacred of figures: the Florida Man. I’d say any rational character would legitimately wonder how they got themselves into this poor state (Pun Achievement Unlocked), but then again, I am no Ja Morant. As the Grizzlies continue their underdog (and somewhat hated?) push into the playoffs (garnering their 41st win last night against the now 34-35 Mavs), Morant has kept himself in the headlines in the most audacious ways possible, from flashing a piece on IG, to a dumping of negative stories ranging from terrible parenting practices to wholesome strip club experiences. Range on and off the court, I say.

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After Julius Randle hit one of the more ridiculous game-winning threes last night to push the Knickerbockers past the Heat, I came up with the above headline. The only problem: I’ve never actually had an Orange Julius – which may be a sin in some cultural circles. Without a frame of reference to consider how Randle may compare the American quencher, I turned to my wife for help:

“It’s like better than an icy.” “I thought it was a smoothy. So it’s like an icy?” “No it’s not an icy.” “So what is it?” “It’s hard to describe. It’s indescribable. It’s like magic.” “So it’s like a mix between an icy and a smoothy?” “No. You’re obviously not getting it. Who are you trying to compare it to?” “It doesn’t matter, I just haven’t had one so just want a description to see if there’s any comparison.” “The most delicious thing I’ve put in my mouth.”

And that was the end of that conversation. 

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This week’s WYT falls on the actual penultimate Week 19 of the fantasy basketball regular season. After discussing the top rookies of this season last week, it’s only right now to talk about the old heads. We’ll take a look at the eldest fantasy-relevant players this season. These are the guys who are either still chugging along producing at an elite level, or are guys who have been good enough at their jobs to have lasted to this point. Like fine wine, the five eldest fantasy relevant players are all within the top-100 mark (we’ll make one exception).

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Fifty percent of Wednesday’s NBA tweets went to Jalen Brunson and his Knicks, but as the old saying goes, “The tie goes to the runner.” Kevin Durant ran away from my Brooklyn Nets as fast as he possibly could, and Wednesday night he finally debuted for the Phoenix Suns in a convincing 105-91 victory over the reeling Charlotte Hornets. Let’s dive in and take a closer look at both Durant and Brunson from a fantasy basketball perspective.

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Did you know that the title for every episode of the USA series “Monk” started “Mr. Monk …” As in, “Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus”; “Mr. Monk Joins a Cult”; and who could forget, “Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa Claus”?

I feel like the Kings should be working up a cross-promotion deal to revitalize the series (originally set in the Bay Area), but set up the road in Sacramento and with Malik Monk casted as Tony Shalhoub’s sidekick. Or maybe that’s just the cabin fever settling in since I am in Oregon, where anything more than 3 inches of snow causes mass hysteria and shuts everything down. 

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You read that right. Valentine’s Day is an objectively stupid holiday, and after 18 years of marriage the wife and I were good with a nice cup of coffee and takeout for the day. Then I watched the Bucks vs. Celtics game on TNT, and took a huge gamble at that! It paid off though, but please honor my sacrifice for your benefit and click on this article multiple times. I took the huge risk for all of you.

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I’ll start with the TNT game, which I almost didn’t watch because Devin Booker and Kevin Durant were out.

Wait, what was that?  Is that………

Devin Booker’s music???????

Yes, Booker returned with 19 points and six assists and the Suns are whole again.  Torrey Craig has lost what little value he had (3 points in 25 minutes).  Chris Paul did have 12 assists with his 9 points, but the guy just looks slow to me.  He’s thicker than he used to be and seems like he’s a step slower.  Still good, but I’m wondering how long this will last before he craters.  I’d get off him and trade him to someone who isn’t watching.  And what happened to Deandre Ayton?  35 points and 15 boards, keep that going.

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Last night I was able to test out a new Seuss-style story during my kids’ bedtime:

“An Ant-man with cool fluffy hair, who went the nation’s capital and let it rain from behind the arch. He was hitting ‘em on the pull up. He was hitting ‘em on the spot up. He nailed 3s on the swing. He nailed 3s on the run. He hit 3s from the corner, at the top. He created a skookum of 3s like it was a skookum of tallywade  ….”

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