Image result for eric bledsoe hair salon

Phoenix is on a self-imposed downhill slide, and Eric Bledsoe won’t have any of it.

Many are convinced that the firing of Earl Watson is in response to the soon-to-be infamous “I dont wanna be here” tweet by Bledsoe—that and, in a bigger part, because the Suns are having one, if not the most, horrendous start to a NBA season– losing by an average of 30.7 points in their first three games.  And yet, even with an assurance from Eric that he didn’t mean what he said, General Manager Ryan McDonough looks determined to trade him away for more, let’s say, programmable pieces and embrace, as if he still does not, the rebuilding process in Phoenix.

Who would’ve thought that it’d be tweet while in a hair salon that would finally do it for Eric Bledsoe? He’s been wanting a trade before the season started and now, at least according to McDonough, he’ll finally get his wish. Will it be a contender who’ll get him, or is the Suns management bitter enough to exile him to just another pigsty of a team? Well, as long as the deal would benefit them, I think they have the luxury to not care.

In no particular order, here are five takes on where Eric Bledsoe could be days from now.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Image result for official cavs logo

I can not wait for the Cleveland Lebrons to start the season. There is going to be so much pettiness, so much drama, so much F U-ness, and….so many wins. The Lebrons went 35-47 his rookie year. The next year they improved to 42-40. Those were the only years the Lebrons did not make the playoffs. Including those two years, the Lebrons went 349-225 (61% win percentage) with two 60+ win seasons and two 50 win seasons. Then, the Decision happened. The Cavaliers proceeded to go 97-215 (31% win percentage) with only one season above 30 wins. When Lebron returned, 161-85 (65% win percentage) with three seasons above 50 wins and the team’s first NBA Championship. I truly believe that this is Lebron’s last season in Cleveland. Remember this? I remember Lebron saying, “Even my wife was like, my momma and my wife was like, ‘I’m not with that.’ My mom was definitely like, ‘[expletive] that, we ain’t going back.“As I said on the pod, the only way Lebron returns to Cleveland is if Dan Gilbert sells him the team. As a result, he’s going balls to the wall this season. That Brooklyn pick? Lebron is going to use that to get someone. He’s pushing all the chips into the middle of the table to make one final last run. Even if management doesn’t sign off trading the pick, Lebron will morph into Kayser Soze….

Image result for keyser soze gif

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The headline should serve as a warning: one of the most exciting days of the entire NBA season is fast approaching, and the results of said day could make every bit of what I’m about to write a moot point. If that happens I’ll be gloriously thrilled, because every year I cheer for the chatter to come to fruition on…NBA TRADE DEADLINE DAY!

The All-Star Game is tonight, and then three days of rest for the whole league (which is actually a full week for every non-All-Star). But the day everyone comes back to the court is the day the madness can occur. As a result, the names I’m mentioning are either hot hands or stand in line to get a boost from the hired hands that left their team. It’s certainly a tricky week, and the limited games only add to the nuance.

So, go play with the Trade Machine, let me hear the proposal you want to happen for your team, and let’s get ready for…

For the three people who wondered, the most enjoyable Trade Machine scenario I can find for my Hawks is (and no, it’s not for Carmelo Anthony: the expiring contracts of Mike Scott and Tiago Splitter with a 2nd round pick to the Lakers for Nick Young and Jose Calderon. Gives Hawks a legit second-team scorer, gives Lakers cap flexibility and a pick.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We all know that injury is a part of professional sports. I would like to think that most fans don’t wish it on anyone, but when it does happen, and players are forced to miss games, nobody should feel sorry for the team that got got. It’s why there are 15 roster spots on a squad. And while it may suck to see a guy go down to injury, it creates opportunity. Opportunity for the next man to step up. So lets take a look at what the injury bug has done to the line ups lately, Hmmm?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NICK YOUNG HIT A GAME-WINNING THREE FOR THE LAKERS!!!!!

Yes, this Nick Young. The Shaqtin’ a Fool Hall of Famer hit the game-winning 3 for the Lakers. Granted, the play wasn’t designed for him, as he intercepted a pass intended for Lou Williams (13 points, 5 assists) to get the shot off. But he finished with 17 points (6-12 FG, 4-7 3pt), 2 rebounds, and 2 blocks. Heading into the game, he was leading the league in free throw percentage.

Under new head coach Luke Walton, Swaggy P has looked like a different player. While Walton may be the main reason, I think he’s playing better because he is no longer engaged to Iggy Azalea. Just like in her rap career, she was taking down everybody associated with her, forcing even T.I. to drop her from his label.

Whatever the reason, the Lakers are happy for the resurgence and fantasy owners should grab him for scoring, threes, and FT shooting because he’s ain’t no mediocre.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we prepare for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season, I’ll be taking a look at each NBA team with their major adds and drops to see if we can pan for any surprise rotational gold.  This open is especially witty for the Nuggets.  We’ll be counting down from worst NBA regular season to the best, mainly because I’m still figuring out how to rank the Warriors…

New York Knicks (32-50)

Knicks

Key Acquisitions:

Derrick Rose

C Joakim Noah

G Courtney Lee

Brandon Jennings

G Justin Holiday

Maurice Ndour

C Guillermo Hernangomez

Key Losses:

C Robin Lopez

Arron Afflalo

G Jose Calderon

G Langston Galloway

F Derrick Williams

G Jerian Grant

F Lance Thomas

Derek Fisher’s Mind – he really thinks he can play again?!

“They’re saying us and Golden State are the super teams…”  WHO?!??!  Hilarious.

Despite that kind of absolute lunacy, the Knicks did vastly improve.  While the Knicks weren’t necessarily “bad” on defense, they add Lee and Noah to bolster the holes Melo and Rose pose on the defensive end.  And not like they need another scorer with Rose and Melo…  With all these one-syllable names for their starters, we have to just call Porzingis “Goose”!  Rose, Lee, Melo (I guess that’s two syllables, dammit!), Goose, and Noah (dammit that’s two again!).  This super intro is going nowhere.  Here’s how the Knicks have assembled their super team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we prepare for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season, I’ll be taking a look at each NBA team with their major adds and drops to see if we can pan for any surprise rotational gold. This open is especially witty for the Nuggets. We’ll be counting down from worst NBA regular season to the best, mainly because I’m still figuring out how to rank the Warriors…

Los Angeles Lakers (17-65)

Lakers

Key Acquisitions:

F Luol Deng

F Brandon Ingram (Rookie)

C Timofey Mozgov

C Ivica Zubac (Rookie)

G Jose Calderon

Key Losses:

G Kobe Bryant

C Roy Hibbert

D’Angelo Russell’s Cell Phone Privileges

Wow, you’d think a roster this bad would bring in something better than that! Deng is a pretty good haul, but I’m not giving a unique opinion saying that Mozgov’s deal was preposteroni. The Lakers go into 2016-17 still rebuilding, and obviously the key to rebuild is to sign mid-range free agents to big deals… Ahhhh, the lunacy of this Mozgov deal! [pretend in a Trump voice] “The first thing I’d do is repeal Healthcare.Mozgov! …you’re fired.”

Despite a lackluster output from the Lakers fantasy options last year, there’s some interesting pieces that could be late round steals. Here’s how the purp and gold are suiting up:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s hard going into the fantasy playoffs without thinking of that cliche soundbit over and over… I feel like the dude from Pi trying to write an open to this, the drill is plugged in!

But seriously, if you’re still reading at this point in the season, there’s a 95% chance you’re in the fantasy playoffs or in the running to win your Roto league. The other 5% of you… I love you. Thanks for reading until the bitter end!

As with the advice you’ll see anywhere, now is the time to move on from anything that isn’t nailed down, no more stashing unless you have a bye, and it’s week-to-week, all-hands-on-deck (can-I-come-up-with-any-more-linked-together-phrases?!) here on out. I’m all over the place with emotions right now, I can’t focus on a succinct open! I shocked the world by winning the reg. season of the Slim vs. JB RCL, got another playoff berth in the REL, UNCW (my alma mater) is playing in-state rival and a buncha-crooks Duke, just had my first epic fantasy baseball draft… There’s so much going on! And with March Madness obviously cutting into our basketball time, don’t sleep on your fantasy hoops postseason and start partyin’ it up like James Harden when your season is on the line. I don’t care about getting my 14 over 3 upset, I need to get to the semis! So stay locked and loaded, don’t let the NCAA Cinderellas these first 2 rounds distract you, and let’s go out and bring home the bacon. Here’s what went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for Week 20 – the first week of the playoffs for standard H2H leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do-you-want-s’more?

That was the last time I saw a Butler as mechanical as Jimmy Butler… “He’s more machine now, than man!”  Well, that was more a bartender, but ya know…  Godzilla returned from a pretty scary knee injury faster than I thought, going 24/11/6/1/0 in 34 minutes Saturday night exactly a month after “straining” his knee.  I’m sorry, when I hear nonspecificity with a knee injury, it’s scarier to me than realizing Deebo from Friday would lead our presidential candidates right now.  “WHY THE HELL IS IT EATING ALL THE SATELLITES!?”  Future came sooner than we thought on that one…  Focus, JB!  Aziz, light!  Godzilla did have some warts with the 5 TO and fouling out (actually the first time he’s fouled out in his career!), but when you’re a lizard-beast born from nuclear winter, it’s tough to have a blemish free outing!  I preached caution in trying to buy Buckets low, so hopefully you were bolder than me.  More daring.  Basically let’s hope you treated this like a giant Dorito, while I was a tasteless vegan vegetable straw.  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for week 19 (last week of the regular season!!!!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While a large swath of America headed to the voting booth, your friendly neighbor to the north spent last night kickin’ back, feet up, drink in hand (technically it was multiple drinks), with the channel tuned to NBA basketball. I traded in polls for points, delegates for dimes, and rhetoric for rebounds.

You see, the beauty of basketball is that it’s pure. It’s honest. It’s 48 minutes of team competition, largely devoid of self interest. Positive results have a direct correlation to superior effort and ability – things that you just can’t fake. It’s refreshing. The best fantasy assets are those who are well-rounded and who contribute more than just the basic “popcorn” numbers that appeal to the casual observer. Fantasy studs have depth and consistency…as they should. So when you juxtapose a random Tuesday evening of professional basketball with one of the biggest nights in American politics, you really gain an appreciation for just how lucky we are to live in the time of NBA LeaguePass. It’s super duper. (Sorry, CNN.)

In a departure from the normal “good/bad/noteworthy” format, I’ve decided to simply take a “studs & duds” approach to breaking down the evening. Winners and losers is what it’s all about on Super Tuesday, so let’s roll with it. Without further adieu, here are your best lines from a six-game slate, along with some that left fantasy owners as angry and confused as a registered Republican…

Please, blog, may I have some more?