Devin is a Booker

Urbandictionary.com is one of my favorite sites to visit on the internet. When I want the full essense of a word, I go there. It’s like when I travel to another city. If I truly want to get a feel for the new place, I’ve got to go where the streets are not lined with Louis Vuitton stores and people are hovering their selfie sticks in the air. Anyone remember this scene from Boomerang? Ha! Still cracks me up. Anyways, dictionary.com defines booker as: (n) booking agent. Boring. Now, let’s see what the urban site has to say. Booker: 1) In pro wrestling, basically he’s the one running the show. 2) All around awesome person with unhuman skills a very badass person. 3) A half of a blunt removed of its inerts and replaced with “trees”, smoked half way, and saved. 4) An offensive term for a US county sheriff. 5) A type of masturbation that involves…No! Why?! 6) A term used for denying previous sexual intercourse with another person. 7) A person that can run faster than the wind. I was familiar with three of those definitions. How about you? If you knew 5, then I don’t know what to say. Good times? So, I titled this piece as “Devin is a Booker.” He’s not a booking agent. He’s not a professional wrestler, but he does run the show. He seems like an all around awesome person. He does exhibit unhuman skills on the basketball court and he is a badass person. He is not a blunt, but he does catch on fire like one. He ain’t no 5-0, but he did score over 50 once. I’ll skip over 5. He’s probably turning down ladies left and right. He does run pretty fast. And, his last name is Booker, so he’s undeniably a Booker. With all that said, he made pops very proud last night as he went:

I’m not writing 300 words for a chump. We knew Booker could score, but he’s pulling down a board a game more than last year and dishing out almost a dime more as well. The defensive stats remain the same, but he’s still only 21 years old. If he can continue to harness the rest of his game, he could be a top 25 player. As it stands, top 40-50 player is a reasonable expectation.

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Here’s what else I saw last night:

Dragan Bender –

Dragan got the start at power forward and played 23 minutes. Dragons. Heat. Fire. Maybe something was lost in translation. Or maybe he went on a Bender the night before. Ba dum tss. I’ll pass the cup around later for donations.

TJ Warren –

Regulators! Mount up and ride him to the Promised Land.

Alex Len –

Is this the long-awaited, liberation of Len? Greg Monroe DNP and Tyson Chandler received 18 minutes of run. The YMCA ain’t good enough for ya? I have no idea what they are doing in Phoenix. Hold Len because he can do this….that….I cannot point up to the box score.

Tyler Ulis –

Mike James –

Trying to decide which one to play:

Marquese Chriss –

Jesus F-ing Chriss!

Kris Dunn –

Warm it up, Kris! I’m about to. ‘Cause that’s what I was born to do.

Justin Holiday –

You think it’s a coincidence that North Korea tested an ICBM with better guidance chips on the same night that Holiday went off? I think not. Fear the North! You know what has no fear and loved Holiday last night? Stocktonator.

Denzel Valentine –

Better be careful Denzel. Billy Ray will forever be my Valentine, but my wife got angry that you were the second. She may take your place soon if you don’t get your act together.

Lauri Markkanen –

The Matrix cannot have the Markkman go nuts while Dirk is still in the system. Would cause on overload of catastophic proportions. Stay patient Markkman owners.

Giannis Antetokoumpo –

G definitely had 5 on it. He even missed five shots!

Eric Bledsoe –

Bledsoe tried to get in on the action as well. He is such a perfect piece for this squad.

John Henson –

You probably own him if you like the Muppets, Wipe Out, or blocks.

Thon Maker –

Damn, the Bucks really did have 5 on it. Anyways, Thon played 20 minutes and will probably continue to get run in that range. He can shoot the three and get some blocks.

Khris Middleton –

The Bucks clobbered the Kings 112-87, so the services of Khris were not needed. Due to the blowout, DJ Wilson played 13 minutes and Jason Terry played 23 minutes.

Garrett Temple –

He led the Kings in scoring. If you need to roster Garrett, then you better go find yourself a comfortable Temple.

Willie Cauley-Stein –

He played 24 minutes. I still think Vivek was spurned by Win Ben Stein’s Money back in the day, so he channels that animosity towards Willie. What else could it be?

George Hill –

He played 20 minutes. The deuces were truly wild.

Buddy Hield –

Buddy played 21 minutes, but he’s not getting consistent run. Seriously, what the hell are the Kings doing? Is all that cow manure messing with their brains?

Frank Mason III –

Played 24 minutes and 25 minutes the night before. I don’t think there’s anything here, but the cow manure makes men do crazy things.

Skal Labissiere –

Played 24 minutes. What am I doing? Why am I spending so much time on the Kings? If you own any Kings, go to the local Catholic church. Get baptized. Buy a rosary bead from the church gift shop. Learn the Hail Mary. Confess all your sins to the priest. Then plop yourself in one of the pews and get your prayer on.

Kenneth Faried –

Received the start, as Wilson Chandler did not play. The Manimal played 23 minutes. The Nuggets got waxed 106-77 by the Jazz, so nothing golden about last night.

Juan Hernangomez –

Received the start at small forward and played 28 minutes. He did not shoot well last night, but he’s an excellent outside shooter. If he starts, you play him.

Will Barton –

He craps out from time to time, but he usually gets a ton of minutes and can fill up the stat sheet on any given night. He’s an upper and a downer.

Nikola Jokic –

What a Joker! Even through the down times, he still manages to put a smile on my face. That’s how I know I love him.

Jonas Jerebko –

Received the start and played 27 minutes, which was a season-high. The 15 points and eight boards were also season-highs. Jerebko could be serviceable while Gobert is out, but let’s see how the minutes are allocated going forward.

Derrick Favors –

Doing himself some Favors by performing well in Rudy’s absence, as he’s an UFA after this season.

Otto Porter Jr. –

Played 32 minutes and led the Wizards in scoring. Stocktonator loved Otto last night. In what was supposed to be a high-scoring affair, the final score was 92-89. I thought the Timberwolves were bad at defense? Maybe not having that John Wall guy makes a difference.

Tim Frazier –

Received the start at point guard and only played 16 minutes. When the chalk goes wrong. Let’s not forget that it’s Tim Frazier we are talking about. Tomas Satoransky played most of the minutes (22) at point guard and went:

Bradley Beal –

That’s all I got for you.

Kelly Oubre Jr. –

31 minutes of run and we know minutes equals money. I wish that were literally the case, but we’ll take anything we can get.

Marcin Gortat played 20 minutes while Ian Mahinmi played 27 minutes, a season high. Brooks probably wanted a more defensive presence with Mahinmi. Gortat should be fine, but the Wizards have always been high on Mahinmi. I’d keep an eye on allocation of minutes going forward.

Taj Gibson –

That’s back-to-back double-dubs for Taj, which gives him seven for the season. He played a team-high 41 minutes. Taj Mahal is truly a wonder. You know what’s also a wonder? Stocktonator. It loved Taj last night.

Karl-Anthony Towns –

Ho hum. Another double-dub. Towns leads the league with 16. Ah wooooooo.

Tyus Jones –

Received the start with Jeff Teague sitting and played 40 minutes. You play him when Teague sits. The beautiful thing about Thibs is that he has a tight rotation. You know who’s getting minutes and how many. I love you, Thibs.

Josh Richardson –

He’s inconsistent, especially on the offensive end. He does contribute across the board, though, and his name ends in son. I will never leave my brother from another mother hanging.

Hassan Whiteside –

Only played 19 minutes because the Cavs ran the Heat off the court.

Goran Dragic –

Not a good night for guys named Dragic and Dragan. Dragons, guys. Heat. Fire. Dragic picked up two early fouls in this game, which obviously affected him. He could never get into a rhythm.

Dion Waiters –

Bam Adebayo –

The Heat were down by 30 at one point, so Bam got some blowout run. He looked good and reminded us that he balled the F out in Summer League.

Kevin Love –

Love was in the air. Not literally because I heard that white men can’t jump. The Cavs are going to need Love to quell the hate. Can he hold up?

LeBron James –

Got ejected for the first time in his career. Someone pressed the button.

Jae Crowder –

20 minutes. A pure binary code line.

Dwayne Wade –

Played 28 minutes. Was surprising that he played on the second half of a back-to-back, but it was against Miami so….Wade can still ball with the best of them. It’s all about the stamina. Can he also hold up?