Wade’s out. Rip’s out. Stuckey’s out. Tyrus is out (again). Thornton My Side was out. Lawson is day-to-day. Hawes slammed his back and left after 10 minutes last night. Curry remains out. Beasley’s status was downgraded. Granger went from missing time due to food poisoning to foot poisoning,  marking the first typo-related injury in NBA history.

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It went down sweetly, like an Italian opera or an Italian ice. Whichever best suits your personality. From out of nowhere, DeMarcus Cousins decided he was unhappy with the team’s direction. Makes sense. It’s been four games into a lockout-shortened season in which 75 percent of the league is still grossly out of shape, why wouldn’t a sophomore demand an immediate shot at a championship.

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For 23 years, Utah head coach Jerry Sloan won 60 percent of his games (1,221 of ‘em in the regular season), made it to the Finals twice, got knocked out in one of the first two rounds 18 other times, confused dozens of players with his occasionally incoherent, but nevertheless longwinded mumblings, and stunted the capital growth of NBA tie salesmen for almost three decades.

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I put my thick rubber gloves on and my fisherman’s boots, plugged my nose and strapped on five pairs of goggles like jockeys do on muddy race days. I’m diving into Detroit this morning. Chill out, I’ve had my shots.  Greg Monroe, the 7th overall pick in this year’s draft, earned his third straight double-double after John Kuester kept him on the floor for 43 minutes in last night’s loss to the Bulls.

Please, blog, may I have some more?