Razzball Nation! If you have made it this far, you are either in the championship of your league or semi-finals. Or you play roto, which, let’s face it, almost everyone saves for baseball. However, the end of the season is more like the end of fantasy football than baseball with teams benching their stars with the playoffs a mere few weeks out. It’s the perils of owning great players on the elite teams. Just ask my buddy who I knocked off in my fantasy football championship years ago when the Eagles benched McNabb and Westbrook on Monday Night Football. Then the Eagles lost to my Panthers in the NFC Championship (I think it was that year, might be wrong – can I have another fact checker? I’m too lazy for Google). But I digress.
The Heat benched both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade with “injuries” on Sunday, and both are listed as questionable for tonight’s game against the Knicks. What, are they the new Patriots? Actually it’s a lot closer than you’d think. You have Brady/Bron who get booed everywhere, Wade/… Eh, doesn’t really work does it. If you’re a Chris Bosh owner, you’re loving this. Especially if you’re up against LeBron in your championship, like I am in one league. But in another I have LeBron. Conflicted feelings! Just like my reaction to Prometheus. Man does it look awesome, but the script got fewer revisions than White Chicks (originally Black Chicks).
Let’s get down and dirty with what went down across the NBA last night:
Omer Asik – Nearly a Goromotaro going for 22 Pts and 18 Rebs. The mystical creature was spotted recently, image coming soon! Also a new glossary will be out right after the season wraps up if you’re new to my antics. Have any ideas for cool terms? Shoot em below.
Jose Calderon – 8-12 FG 19 Pts and 9 Asts as the Pistons actually won a game. Ay Dios Mio! Most assists for Calderon since that 16 dime outburst against the Knicks about a month ago. Get the Spaniard to dish more like this! More like multiple concinas not one tapa!
Rudy Gay – Tried all he could to keep the Raptors from losing to the Pistons, but they ended up being more like the Craptors. Man I loved that joke as a kid. And it’s still awesome. So what if I’m always 10-years old? 13-18 FG for 34.
Jonas Valanciunas – The luminescent Latvian (TM) had another fantasy gem going 17-6 but with a sexy 5 Blks. He’s only 20-years young (twice my age apparently), so he’ll be an interesting guy on draft day as a breakout candidate.
Marreese Speights - The Marreese of Spades!!! 11-15 FG for a 23-8-2-1-1 night in 25 minutes off the bench. Don’t worry, he’ll go back to being under 20 minutes and a three of clubs next game.
Josh Smith – Neared a triple-dub going 18-14-8. Smoooove.
Devin Harris – Finally did something as a starter going 8-17 FG 25 Pts 3 Rebs 7 Asts and 3 Stls. Shot only 1-7 from downtown but went 8-8 from the FT line. You’d think you’d get better perspective of your range when you have those numbers. Surprisingly also led the Hawks in minutes with 43 and +/- with a +18 in an 8-point win. I’m a little interested, but he’s been so inconsistent. I do think he’s an interesting streamer for some assists if you need a spot start (5.0 a game in last 15 days).
Milwaukee Bucks – Scored 131 last night. Quick don’t look who they played! If you guessed the Bobcats, then you’d not only be right you’d be like, “Duh.” The most the Bucks have scored in over 4 years. What was that about the Bobcats defense, Chuck? “Turrible.”
Kemba Walker – 27 Pts on 8-11 shooting and 11-13 from the line. Was 0-3 from deep, so hit every two pointer. Drive the ball!
Jerryd Bayless – After only putting up 4 Pts on Saturday Night (yet still was usable), got back to the scoring with 17-2-3 last night. Usable, but not dependable. Surprisingly, that tag line didn’t end up making the cut for Depends.
Tobias Harris – OK, we can call him by his real name… My boyfriend. Another great game going 18-11-4 with 3 Blks. Was a she-hole from downtown though, going 0-6. Man no one in today’s roundup was hitting threes…
Moe Harkless – …Went 2-4 from deep! Career-high 28 Pts. Don’t worry, he’ll top it next time the Magic play the inept Bobcats.
Greg Smith – Started for the second time at PF over “you’re dead to me” Thomas Robinson and “I hope I don’t have to type your name again” Donatas Motiejunas. Still only played 21 minutes and went 12-4-1 and a block. I think if you need rebounding (despite only 4 last night), Smith could be a good streamer.
Nikola Pekovic – Was beastly with 29 Pts and 5 Rebs. 11-11 at the free throw line. 100%! That’s the kind of math I like to do.
Mo Williams – Three straight 20+ Pt games going 20-9 last night. Hit a bunch of threes too! 6-7 from downtown. That’s like… ummm… 85-ish percent?
Tyler Hansbrough – After a nice run, played only 13 and 14 minutes his past two games and in 14 minutes the Pacers were -16 in a 3-point win. You’re time is over. It’s over.
Paul George – If he’s in your lineup and you’re in the finals, he’s been a big part. 23-6-10-4-1 last night as he continues to excel. He’ll probably go too early next year, but boy am I glad he’s on most of my teams this year.
Chris Paul – 2-12 last night with 10 Pts and 8 Asts. Listen, I think Paul is awesome, but he has some terrible games here and there. Why he’s usually not on my fantasy teams.
Next Game – Wizards @ Craptors then Nuggets @ Jazz tomorrow night. One dud then a great showdown in the West. I want to watch Unforgiven now. Shoot your comments below, win that hardware Razzball Nation!