So this is going to be the lamest open ever, but I sustained a blogging injury! Wife wanted me to make this crockpot chicken marsala recipe, which as you guessed, calls for marsala wine. She buys this cheap bottle at the grocery store, and it’s such a shitty product, the lid of the bottle won’t separate from that little connector part at the bottom. Obviously I’m a straight MacGyver with these things, so my first thought is to get a small kitchen knife to try and pry the main part of the bottle top off. I even said to myself, “this is probably going to end badly…” And aha! The knife shoots into my finger and I bleed everywhere like a moron. But the good news is a pair of pliers finally got the job done! Little bitch, you bottle of chicken marsala wine, you…
And you probably felt the same way as me hovering over a cheap bottle of wine with a knife if you started Nikola Mirotic last night. “I think I’ve made a huge mistake!” However, with Robin Lopez suspended and Cristiano Felicio out with a sore back-io, the Bulls were down a few on their front line (mainly calling for Bobby Portis to play C), so Miro was sure to get some run even if he was playing like a zero (no Gilbert Arenas – 0 is the number of guns you should have in your locker!). But eureka!
28/5/2/3/1 for Miro last night, on 12-15 shooting with 4 treys. I also wanna mention that Googling “Youtube Mirotic” had me find some sort of Kpop album, which has me think a future nickname or Podcast sounder has to come from this… Anyway, the top 7 in the Bulls rotation actually looked really, really good despite no Wade and no big men, while Tom Petty croons about the Pistons… Free fallin’! Miro has been one of the most inconsistent players in fantasy this year, so with Rolo due back Friday, I still wouldn’t go too nuts to add Miro. Tomorrow against the Sixers still might be worth the upside ThrAGNOF stream though, even if it feels as risky as jabbing plastic with a kitchen knife… Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball:
Marco Belinelli – Mmmmm, the ThrAGNOF pasta is very tasty this time of year! 20/3/1/1/0 with no TO and 3 treys last night.
Terrence Ross – Part of the ThrAGNOF 3-course meal as well! 19/2/1/2/0 with 3 treys. Why you don’t pay for treys!
Paul George – Tried his one-man show routine in Boston, but the Bostonians HATED it! “Contrived and ball-hoggy” the reviews said… 37/5/2/3/1 with 5 treys in a great solo effort, but the Pacers still fell to the C’s.
Myles Turner – Man, he seemed locked into a 2nd-round pick for next year, but continues to fade down the stretch. 7/9/5/2/2 for the rainbow is always nice, but 0-2 FT, and his scoring and FG% in Feb-Mar have been trending wayyyyy down. Too man Myles on his treads!
Joffrey Lauvergne – After feeding Rolo wildfire to make him go nuts, and stabbing Felicio in the back, King Joffrey got the start last night, going 17/7/3/1/0 with a trey in 28 minutes. Somehow held his own against… Andre Drummond?! Not sure how that worked, but a big Bulls win considering they now have the same record as the Pistons…
Paul Zipser – Also played well in the starting 5, going 15/4/2/1/1 with a trey. Zippity doo-dah, Zippity day!
Jimmy Butler – Let’s go back-to-back on some superstars with mad efficiency, brah! 16/5/12/2/0 for Buckets, on an absurd 6-6 FG, 4-4 FT, and no TO line. My efficiency boner is lasting way more than 4 hours.
Russell Westbrook – I know right?! Westbrook?! Efficient?! 18/11/14/0/2 on 6-6 FG and 6-6 FT. Well, he did have 5 TO, so it’s not like he was as squeaky clean as Buckets. Nice bounce back for OKC after they got pooped on by the Dubs.
Enes Kanter – I know this was a cupcake matchup, but I still get in awe when I watch Kanter dominate the post like he can do most games. 24/11/0/1/1 on 8-9 FG, 8-9 FT. And they’re not like DeAndre Jordan easy alleys, they’re isolation post moves mixed with a jumper or two, and really fun to watch.
Nik Stauskas – After hanging tough most of the first quarter, the Sixers then fell apart, with only Sauce Castillo doing anything much on his 20/0/1/0/0 line with 5 treys. Add his sauce to the Italian ThrAGNOF menu above, and baby we got a feast goin’!
Dennis Schroder – Unfortunately doesn’t fall into the “mad efficiency superstars bucket” huh?! 18/2/6/0/0 on 5-16 shooting with 10 TOs. Das barf!
Tim Hardaway Jr. – TIMMAY! helped keep the Hawks in it though, shooting 9-16 FG (3-8 3PTM 8-9 FT) for 29/2/3/1/2 and no TO. Schroder acting as the TO vortex!
Marcin Gortat – Turning into a legit Martian. Flourished, then disappearing and dying off…
Will Barton – Wow, can I hop on the Nuggets fanwagon with Slim?! 20/4/2/2/0 with 3 treys for Barton witn no TO, as the Nuggets shocked the Cavs with a 13-point win at home.
Wilson Chandler – Returned from a week off with a groin issue, going 18/5/3/1/0 with a trey, in a whopping 41 minutes. Must’ve gotten some great treatment on that groin!
Giannis Antetokounmpo – Gave us some minor blips, but 32/13/6/2/1 last night with a trey and no TO… Greek finishing strong!
Willie Cauley-Stein – Hasn’t been the smoothest ride, but 10/7/2/0/4 will work. “How you spell ‘Cheehawk’, W-C, or W-S!” “Why not both! WCS!” Literally 2 people in this world would get that joke, but it’s late March and I wanna make their day!
Buddy Hield – 21/4/2/1/0 with a trey in a team-high 36 minutes. Hey, with two treys and how bad Steph has been this year (compared to how I thought he’d do), it’s kinda Curry-ish! Hah!
Derrick Rose – His foot is super sore, but he came back into the game after a foot injury scare, despite leaving the arena in a brace with a limp. Nice little microcosm imagery for how the Super Poppycockers have played this year.
Kristaps Porzingis – We all kinda thought he would fade or maybe even get DNPs down the stretch after picking up some injuries, but Goose is still on the loose! 24/7/0/1/1/ with 3 treys. Not how you grind through, but how you finish!
Rudy Gobert – Well, for fantasy, Goose was good. But mannnnnn, did Monsieur Elbow just plow through the Poppycockers! 35/13/1/1/4 on 13-14 shooting and 9-12 FT. An absolutely absurd start to the week for Stifle. Looks like FG% and blocks are shored up!
I hope everyone got nice contributions on the busy Wednesday schedule! Note for the Podcast – we’re going to be back Saturday morning this week to preview the weekend for streaming, so check us out then! Good luck in the rest of the semis, Razzball Nation!