History is written by the victors. Alexander III was a king of the ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon in 336 BC. Due to his undefeated record in battle and conquest of Persia, the III was replaced with The Great. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s always great? The Stocktonator. Now, over 2000 years later, Alexander the Great has been etched into the history books and permeated our minds. Last night, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander delivered a performance that imprinted him into the NBA archives.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 20 10 0 1 2 2/3 8/12 2/2

That was the 90th time since 1946 that a player has scored 20 points with at least 20 boards and 10 dimes. The last player to perform the feat was Russell Westbrook last season, when he went 20/20/21! Since 2000, it’s happened only six times before Shai’s performance. Now, for fantasy, Shai got off to a blazing start this season then cooled off. Over the past 16 games, though, he’s been a top 20 player for fantasy, averaging 36 minutes, 21.9 points, 0.9 tres, 6.6 boards, 2.7 dimes, and 1.4 steals. The field goal percentage has been a whopping 52% while the free throw shooting has been 85%. He’s garnered a usage rate of 23.9, yet Shai has only turned the ball over 1.6 times per game! Will this continue? Probably not. He’s not going to continue shooting 52% from the field. He shot 47% over the course of his rookie season, so that’s a reasonable expectation. The Logo, Jerry West, loved Shai and was instrumental in the Clippers drafting him. They had to trade him in order to get Paul George, so it’s understandable why they made the move, but West is one of the best talent evaluators in the league. If he’s high on someone, then so am I.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Money, money, money, monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnney. Moooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeey. Love it or hate it, we need money to survive; to eat, cloth, and find shelter. The more you have, the greater number of times you can put cheese on that Whopper, get bling to accessorize the outfits, and/or accumulate various forms of entertainment. What’s the color of money in the United States? Green. Lots of green is usually a good thing. Well, last night, Troy Brown Jr. was money.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 9 7 1 1 0 2/4 9/15 6/7

Since Brown was money and money is green, then Brown is the new green. Don’t bother Googling, I’ve done the research. The 26 points and 7 dimes were both career highs! Now, Davis Bertans did not play last night, so Brown’s offense was needed. Don’t expect this kind of performance every night, but Brown can provide some tres, boards, and steals when he plays. On the season, he’s averaging 23.2 minutes per game. Over the past six games, that number has ticked up to 27.6. With all the injuries, Brown will be the main scoring option off the bench, so Brown can be money for as long as he continues getting the opportunities. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s always money? The Stocktonator.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A monk is a person who chooses to dedicate his life to serving others or voluntarily leaves mainstream society to pray and contemplate life. I leave mainstream society often….to play fantasy sports. Fantasy monk? I kid, as I admire the discipline that monks have. I can’t even stop myself from making my order a meal and supersizing. Anyways, Malik Monk was drafted by the Hornets with the 11th overall pick in 2017. Since that time, though, it’s felt as though Monk has been locking himself up in the library, as we have not heard or seen much of him in the fantasy realm. But once in a while, he will rise up from the bench and deliver a performance that makes us remember. Last night was one of those games:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 10 4 1 0 2 2/4 9/12 3/4

In 27 minutes off the bench. Now, P. J. Washington’s injury afforded him some more run, so I wouldn’t expect him to be an integral part of the team. At least not yet. He’s just too inconsistent and doesn’t contribute much outside of points and tres. With that said, he’s still only 21 years old and there’s a chance he discovers the 35 Chambers.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Lyndon Baines Johnson presidency was a misunderstood one. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s never misunderstood? The Stocktonator. Most view the administration unfavorably due to the Vietnam War, but LBJ did much to improve the domestic situation in the United States. He passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Voting Rights Act of 1965, created Medicare and Medicaid, increased funding for education, and declared a “War on Poverty.” Historians rank him as an above-average president. The people, though, gave him two thumbs down. The NBA LBJ administration, on the other hand, hasn’t been an administration at all. It’s been more a reign, as LeBron James aka The King has ruled over The League….not one….not two…..not three….not four…..not five…..but 15 seasons. It should be 16, but many viewed him as #TheWashedKing last year as he missed many games due to injury. As his play this season has shown, LBJ didn’t go anywhere. He continues to dominate and reign over the NBA. Last night was but the latest example:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 13 7 1 3 4 4/10 12/21 4/7

LeBron is the #12 player for fantasy on the season. He’s leading the freaking league in dimes with 10.8 per game. The usage rate is 32.4 and he’s taking 20.1 field goal atttempts per game. The 34.6 minutes per game seem like a lot, right? Well, that’s a career low!!! Which is a good thing because health and Father Time are the only things that will stop this reign.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There are few things in life that get me hard and excited. Let’s see, all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ, 9-0 h2h victory for fantasy, PornHub, and watching the LeBron/AD pick-and-roll. I have to add James Harden to the list. I try not to write up the same player for the lede, but Harden is a freaking basketball savant and could be one of the best one-on-one players of all time. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s also an all-timer? The Stocktonator. The jumper from downtown is so pure that Skunk Works is reverse engineering it. The handles have caused many of sleepless nights for Ricky Jay. He’s also 6′ 5″ 220 pounds, so he can stampede to the rim against smaller players and big men have no chance on the perimeter, as he just makes them dance. Last night was yet another example of his brilliance:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
55 3 8 2 2 6 10/18 20/34 5/5

This was Harden’s 22nd career game scoring at least 50 points, which is good for fourth all time. Kobe Bryant had 25 while Michael Jordan had 31. Laughably, Wilt Chamberlain posted 118 50-point games!! LOL. Anyways, Harden is the numero uno player for fantasy on the season. He’s AVERAGING 37.9 minutes, 38.7 points, 4.9 tres, 5.9 boards, 7.5 dimes, 2 steals, and is shooting 88% from the line on 14 attempts! The turnovers are sky-high at 5 per game, but the production is so bountiful in the other categories that it is but a fly on the windshield. Are you not Harden excited?

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Be ready for some James Bond references. 

It’s an Oddjob guarding James Harden. And De’Andre Hunter found out the Harden way. Because Agent 0013 tied Agent 0023, one Michael Jordan, for the third-most 60-point games in NBA history with his fourth such game (it only took him three quarters). And he had the Goldfinger going as well, dishing out eight assists, which is also tied for the third-most assists in a 60-point effort (Harden is also first on that list, putting together the only recorded triple-double in a 60-point game when he had 10 rebounds and 11 assists two years ago). 0013 knows that You Only Live Twice, and He Only Missed Thrice from the free throw line, going 20-for-23 and continuing to lead the league with a staggering 14.4 attempts per game, leading runner-up Giannis Antetokounmpo by more than three attempts in each contest. He’s the Man with the Golden Shot, sinking eight threes for the third time this year. And most importantly, Harden was Dr. No in allowing the Hawks to even get close in this one… his +/- of 50 trails the highest +/- of the past two decades by only 7 points (Luc Mbah a Moute with the Rockets, believe it or not). Here is his full stat line:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
60 3 8 3 1 5 8-14 16-24 20-23

Alright, that’s it with the Bond references. Was that enough? For me it was, but for 0013, the World is not Enough. Here’s what else occurred in a four-game slate on Saturday.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Kyrie Irving went down to injury on November 14, the Nets lost their leader. The fantasy community lost its leader. And hope was starting to look bleak for the upcoming stretch of games without the explosive veteran running the point.

But Spencer Dinwiddie has not missed a beat. In the eight games that he’s started in place of Irving, he has averaged 24.5 points, 7.8 assists, three boards, a steal, and a block per game. He’s shooting 93% from the line with a decent sample size of 7.5 attempts per game. He has limited his turnovers to 2.4 per game. The only knock has been his efficiency from the field (42.4%) and from deep (34%), but all things considered, Dinwiddie is deserving of many thanks from his teammates.

His teammates were especially thankful last night, as he was giving at a particularly generous rate and recorded the following stat line:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 5 11 2 2 4 6-8 10-19 6-6

His 11 dimes led the NBA (along with LeBron and Luka), and his sharp-shooting from deep led the Nets to a great win over the division-rival Celtics. Here’s what else happened around the league on Friday night.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When something is referred to as historic, we think of arms raised toward the sky, fireworks bursting and illuminating the world, with smiles and wet panties. We think of heroes. Beep. Boop. Bop. You know what’s also a hero? The Stocktonator. Yet, historic can also reference the zeroes. Those who do something so bad that it’s actually impressive. Joel Embiid had one of those games last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
0 13 2 0 0 4 0/4 0/11 0/3

Embiid is no doubt a hero. If he wasn’t, then there wouldn’t be a line outside of the stadium after every game with both men and women waiting to sex him. With that said, he was a straight zero, both literally and figuratively last night. And I wasn’t being hyperbolic when I said that he had a historic performance. Since 1946, there have been only two other players who went 0-for-10 from the field, 0-for-3 from downtown, and 0-for-2 from the free throw line: Doug Christie in 1999 and Devean George in 2008. Make that duo a trio now. Now, Embiid is a fantasy stud, as he literally does everything. He hasn’t been producing like one recently, but have no fear, the good times will return again. If anyone is panicking, relieve them of their anxiety.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The stage was set.

After having a two-week long stretch of fantastic performances night after night, capped by a 27 point, five assist, seven rebound, and four steal pseudo-revenge game against the Bulls, all signs were pointing to Jimmy going OFF in the real revenge game on Saturday night.

The boos poured down from the Wells Fargo Center as he was introduced. It just felt like he was ready to explode and lead his Heat to their sixth-straight win. But alas, the opposite occurred. Harvard Sports Analysis actually found that superstars perform worse by a pretty good margin in “revenge” games, so maybe we should reverse that narrative. Here’s the line that Jimmy put up:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 5 3 2 0 1 0-2 4-13 3-4

Here’s what else happened around the league on Saturday night.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2-18, 2-16, 9-19, 8-22.

In the four recaps that I’ve written this year that James Harden was a part of, those have been his three-point shooting lines. For you math whizzes, that averages out to 18.75 attempted threes per game, and expanded across an 82-game season, that means Harden will have chucked up 1,537 threes.

Pause. One thousand, five hundred thirty-seven. The NBA record, held by Harden himself, is 500 fewer than that total.

With that said, the four times I’ve written about Harden happen to be his four highest attempt totals from beyond the arc so far. But maybe it’s not totally coincidental. I write the recaps for Friday night and Saturday night games. Maybe there’s some sort of correlation between looking forward to the weekend and getting three-point happy?

A Reddit user, Angry Centric, found a pretty significant correlation between Harden’s performance and the quality of the strip clubs in the city he’s playing in. When the strip clubs are better, the quality goes down. Maybe, just maybe, this could factor into Harden’s three-point shooting. Could he hoist up more threes when he’s excited to go out to a strip club after the game? We’ll keep looking into this as the season goes on.

I guess Minnesota doesn’t have the best strip clubs, though, as Harden exploded last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK FG-FGA 3p-3pA FT-FTA TO
49 5 6 0 0 16-41 8-22 9-11 4

Here’s what else I saw from around the league on Saturday night.

Please, blog, may I have some more?