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Speaking in generalities, I’d say people on the East Coast are more straight up. In New York, time is money so people don’t want to dilly dally. In Los Angeles, there’s the whole Hollywood vibe. I will say, though, that driving in rush hour may show the true colors of an individual. In Philly, they just don’t give a F. Santa Claus? Here are some batteries for your noggin. With that said, there’s been plenty of B. S. in Philly these days:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 10 8 1 0 2 0 10/16 6/8

Ben Simmons aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallmost messed around. If my handy dandy abacus didn’t fail me, he has 10 trip-dubs on the season. There have been many other games where he’s been so close. Anyways, the turnover are plentiful and you won’t get any treys (the ultimate stay-in-yo-lane), but the points, boards, dimes, and steals are plentiful. He had been languishing in the top 60 area for much of the season, but over the past seven games, he’s been a top 25 player because he’s increased his free throw percentage from 60% to 72% on 5.1 attempts. Hopefully that ain’t no B. S.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

 

Joel Embiid

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 19 5 1 4 6 1/3 6/16 4/4

We know that Embiid is a wizard both on and off the court. His Twitter game is top notch. Well, he continues to show his technical prowess as well. I just ran into a woman that was waiting in the line to “chill” with Embiid, and she showed me one of those circular buzzers that you get when waiting for food at the mall.

James Ennis III

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 7 2 0 1 3 0/1 6/7 0

Got the start and played 22 minutes because Jimmy Butler (rest) was out.

Boban Marjanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 5 2 0 1 2 0 4/5 3/4

Returned from a six-game absence and played 14 minutes. I do mess with the Boban!

Collin Sexton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 2 1 0 0 0 4/7 11/20 0

Has scored at least 20 points in three straight games and been a top 80 player over that span. He’s also averaged 4.3 dimes and 3 treys, but nothing else. A true shoot-first, ask questions later point guard.

Cedi Osman

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 8 4 2 0 2 4/9 7/19 0

Back to tanking the percentages are we now? Not so Osman, Cedi. He has increased the treys, boards, dimes, and steals to mitigate the impact, though. Top 90 player over the past seven games, despite shooting 37% from the field.

David Nwaba

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 7 0 3 1 0 1/4 3/7 0

Got the start and played 30 minutes because Kevin Love (rest) was out.

Jordan Clarkson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 5 2 0 0 0 0/8 5/20 3/4

Played 30 minutes off the bench. I often say that minutes + opportunites = fantasy goodness. Throw that out the window with Clarkson.

DeAndre Jordan

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 16 5 0 0 5 0 5/6 2/2

Got the start and played 35 minutes. This D. J. be spinning the good stuff, but not so good to tank the tanking for Zion strategy.

Damyean Dotson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 6 3 1 0 3 4/8 6/16 2/2

Played 36 minutes and has been the most reliable Knick, at least from a playing time perspective. He’s averaged over 33 minutes the past six games and jacked up double digit shots in each of those games. From a fantasy perspective, he’s still been outside the top 100. He provides points, treys, boards, dimes, and steals, but no blocks and the field goal percentage is bad.

Emmanuel Mudiay

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 4 4 0 2 1 3/4 7/14 4/4

Played 32 minutes off the bench. DSJ is the starter and gets most of the playing time, but Emmanuel does get more run from time to time, especially when DSJ struggles. You never know what Fizdale is going to do night to night, but Emmanuel does have upside and entices you to sing his name.

Mitchell Robinson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 2 0 0 3 0 0 3/3 1/2

Played 13 minutes. Shrug emoji. He played 33 minutes the prior game. SHRUG EMOJI!

Bojan Bogdanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 4 2 0 0 1 3/8 6/16 3/3

It is no longer, “You don’t mess with the Boban.” It is now, “You don’t mess with the Bojan!” Top 40 player over the past seven games, Bojan has seen the usage rate spike to 28, the shot attempts have increased to 16.6, and he’s delivering 2.6 treys per game.

Myles Turner

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 9 4 2 2 2 2/6 5/15 3/8

Despite the awful percentages (36% from the field and 63% from the line), Myles has been a top 35 player over the past seven games. 7.7 boards, 1.3 steals, and 3.7 blocks will do that. The boards are still light for a big man, as he hangs out on the perimeter too much. Oh well. Has Brook Lopez inspired a new generation?

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 7 2 1 0 3 0/1 4/12 2/4

Played 18 minutes. Second game back after missing five games due to injury. Will likely take some time to get back into the groove, but he was only averaging 24.7 minutes prior to the injury.

Darren Collison

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 5 9 3 0 0 0/1 5/11 6/6

I should like Collison, as he’s solid and provides what you expect from him most nights. I’m just a hater. No idea why. Anyways, he’s a top 70-80 player who will provide points, treys, boards, dimes, and steals. The shooting efficiency vacillates, which produces low-scoring nights from time to time, but overall he’s a solid player.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 9 5 0 0 6 0/4 7/13 10/10

Only played 26 minutes, as the Bucks pummeled the Pelicans, 130-113. G’s fantasy prospects are capped because the Bucks are too good.

Khris Middleton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 5 7 0 0 2 2/6 9/18 3/3

He warmed it up! For some reason, I always gravitate to Middleton. I know, I know. I’m a weirdo. Maybe it’s some subliminal thing about my life perspective of straddling the fence.

Nikola Mirotic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 2 0 0 1 1/5 4/10 5/6

Played 24 minutes off the bench. Since arriving in Milwaukee, Mirotic has received over 25 minutes of run in only two games. Looks like he will settle in the 23-25 minutes range, which hampers his fantasy outlook. With that said, there are games that he will jack up 10 treys. Unfortunately, there are other games in which he will play fewer than 20 minutes and hoist up three shots.

Pat Connaughton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 11 1 0 0 0 1/3 4/8 0

Played 24 minutes off the bench. Will pop off a big game from time to time, but they are too few and far between to count on for fantasy. Just know that he has some ability if injury strikes or players get rest.

Anthony Davis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 12 2 0 2 2 1/4 9/16 2/4

Played 21 minutes. Ahhhhh, 21, 12, 21, 2, 2, 2……we must break the code! The past eight games, AD has played 20, 21, 21, 21, 22, 21, 21, and 21 minutes. Looks like two people got fired. Is there someone sitting on the bench with a stop watch, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1….that’s it! Get him out of the game now!” So ridiculous.

Elfrid Payton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 15 11 1 1 3 2/7 6/15 0

It was a good day….again, as he messed around the prior game as well. No Jrue Holiday and a neutered AD has allowed Elf to flourish and stuff the stat sheet in back-to-back games.

Darius Miller

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 2 2 0 0 1 3/5 3/6 4/4

Played 29 minutes off the bench after playing 29 minutes the prior game as well. He sucks and I wouldn’t advocate using him, but he’s getting the minutes. I try to be thorough.

Kenrich Williams

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 2 0 0 0 1 1/4 2/6 0

Continues to start but only played 24 minutes. Williams is averaging over 30 minutes per game for the month of March, but he’s shooting a putrid 37% from the field. He can provide boards and steals, but he will likely tank your percentages and is always a risk of getting benched if he’s cold.

LaMarcus Aldridge

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 7 3 1 1 4 0/1 11/19 6/6

Played 38 minutes. LMA has been the #6 player over the past five games. I will bow down and pay homage for all the times I was LMAO.

Derrick White

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 3 7 3 0 2 3/5 10/16 0

Played 33 minutes. Top 10 player over the past six games. He’s such an awesome fantasy player because he contributes across the board.

DeMar DeRozan

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 4 6 4 0 3 0 11/19 11/11

DeMar DeRozan DeLivers a DeLuge of DeLightful DeLiverance. Top 10 player over the past three games.

Dwight Powell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 7 1 0 0 0 1/6 6/15 7/7

Played a team-high 39 minutes. Powell has been a top 50 player over the past seven games, as he’s averaged 33.6 minutes, 16.1 points, 1.4 treys, 7.1 boards, 2.9 dimes, 1 steal, and he’s been shooting 64% from the field. Unfortunately, you’re not getting blocks and the boards are light for a big man.

Jalen Brunson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 5 4 1 0 1 3/6 12/16 7/7

Continues to start and played 37 minutes. Brunson has started the past seven games and been a top 50 player. He can obviously score, but he rebounds well for a guard and contributes dimes.

Tim Hardaway Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 4 0 0 0 0 2/6 4/13 0

Hardaway had started the prior 13 games before coming off the bench and playing 22 minutes last night. 7 out!

Kyle Kuzma

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 5 4 1 0 0 2/5 9/17 1/3

Returned to the starting lineup after missing a game due to injury. With the Lakers going nowhere, Kuzma should get all the usage he can handle to end the season.

LeBron James

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
36 10 4 2 0 5 2/4 15/23 4/5

Played 33 minutes. Since the Lakers announced that they would curtail LeBron’s minutes, he’s played 5 fewer minutes per game, but the usage rate has spiked from 32 to 42! He’s still going to get his, but there’s an obvious ceiling now. The main concern is the free throw shooting. 56% on 8.1 attempts over the past seven games.

JaVale McGee

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 11 0 1 3 1 0 4/8 2/2

Got the start and played 33 minutes. Oh, now they gonna play McGee over 30 minutes a game? The prior 14 games, he received fewer than 20 minutes of run in 9 of those games. Shrug emoji. If he gets the minutes, McGee will be a nice source of boards and D stats.

Rajon Rondo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 10 2 0 2 2/4 6/9 0

Played 31 minutes. Top 55 player over the past seven games. Rondo has been averaging 34 minutes, 11.6 points, 1.6 treys, 6.6 boards, 10.1 dimes, and 1.7 steals. The field goal percentage has been a putrid 38%, but those counting stats. Hey! Look over there! A monkey is dressed in a Knicks uniform.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 6 1 2 0 1 4/8 7/11 6/6

Played 31 minutes off the bench. KCP had played 16, 7, 20, and 15 minutes the prior four games. I have no idea what Walton is going to do with the rotations.

Lauri Markkanen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 5 0 0 0 2 0/8 4/17 3/3

Lauri has been off the Markkanen lately. He’s been shooting 38% from the field and the boards have dried up. Due to the lack of contributions in the D cats, the floor is relatively low. Has he hit a wall? How many time do we have to go through this? Walls are no good!

Robin Lopez

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 7 3 0 0 1 0 9/14 2/2

Played 35 minutes. Lopez continues chugging along, averaging 34 minutes and providing points, boards, and blocks. What a time to be alive.

Ryan Arcidiacono

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 6 2 0 1 2/3 5/8 2/2

Got the start and played 32 minutes because Zach LaVine (knee) was out.

Kris Dunn

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 7 9 2 0 4 2/3 8/16 0

An indication of just how putrid the Lakers defense is.

Jusuf Nurkic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 12 2 0 0 3 0 6/14 8/9

Got the start and played 25 minutes. Nurk has been really good. Over the past six games, he’s been a top 30 player, contributing everything but treys. The only issue is that he’s only averaging 27 minutes per game.

Enes Kanter

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 9 3 1 1 2 0/1 5/11 4/5

In 20 minutes off the bench. Per minute, Kanter is a beast. He only plays 20 minutes a game, though. So, he’s a 20-minutes beast. At least he’s not the minute man.

Damian Lillard

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 3 12 2 0 3 3/6 8/14 1/1

Top 10 player for fantasy. He is so good, especially since he handles the ball so much yet only turns the ball over around 2 times per game.

C. J. McCollum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
35 4 4 2 0 0 6/11 12/21 5/6

Every once in a while, McCollum morphs from Urkel to M. J. and it’s glorious. It doesn’t happen often, though. With that said, he’s a top 50 player. The D stats are lacking but the points, treys, and boards are plentiful for a guard.

JaMychal Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 11 0 1 0 1 1/2 4/8 0

Got the start and played 32 minutes because Danilo Gallinari (rest) was out. Since arriving in Los Angeles, Green was averaging 19 minutes per game before last night’s start.

Ivica Zubac

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 15 2 0 0 1 0 4/15 2/2

Continues to start but only played 22 minutes. Zubac will provide points, boards, blocks, and excellent shooting percentage. The free throw shooting is normally good, but lately it’s been at 50%. With that said, he’s only averaging 20.5 minutes over the past six games.

Montrezl Harrell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 11 3 0 3 2 1/1 8/15 5/8

Played 26 minutes off the bench. I love Montrezl so much that I will name my next child Sontrezl Son. Unfortunately, I’m out of the child making game, so if I’m blessed with grandkids some day, I’m utilizing all of resources to lobby for it.

Lou Williams

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 1 3 1 0 4 0 5/16 8/10

Jump shooters on back-to-backs usually have a rough time, no matter how Sweet they are.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 10 3 0 3 4 2/6 14/25 4/4

MEOW!!! Too bad the Timberwolves got annhiliated in Denver, 107-133.

Tyus Jones

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 2 3 2 0 1 2/3 7/10 0

Got the start and played 27 minutes because Jeff Teague (foot) was out. Derrick Rose also did not play, so it was a disappointing performance for Jones.

Cameron Reynolds played 25 minutes and C. J. Williams played 18 minutes. That’s how bad it got last night.

Paul Millsap

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 5 2 1 1 2 4/5 8/12 3/4

Played 33 minutes. Millsap can contribute across the board and access ceiling. He’s just been inconsistent this year. The shooting efficiency hasn’t been great as well.

Jamal Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 3 1 3 0 1 4/6 10/16 6/6

Like McCollum, Murray has these ceiling games once in while to keep us interested. Unlike McCollum, though, Murray hasn’t been as consistent and has a lower floor. We say it every year, but next year is the year for Murray.