There are many reasons why players ball the F out. Straight cash homie is a popular option. To pay respects for a fallen compadre is a sentimental one. For the love of the game? Often attempted but rarely executed. The number one reason? Survey says?! To get laid, of course. Now, being a Lakers fan, I immediately have to address AC Green, the legend that ended his NBA career as a virgin. Simply put, he’s not human. If Drago thought Rocky wasn’t human, then he would’ve bended the knee and kissed the feet of AC. You think a man that played 1,192 consecutive games and did not have sexual relations during that time is human? The definition of outlier does not require words. Only this. Now, Kristaps Porzingis is a giant of a man at 7′ 3″ 240 pounds. His skill on the basketball court is at such a level that many call him a Unicorn. But. But. The dude just wants to get laid. It’s been well documented that Porzingis and Jen Selter have started following each other on Instagram and liking each other’s post. If you are not following @World_Wide_Wob on Twitter, your life has no meaning. Leading up to the matchup against the Lakers, in MSG, and on the ESPN national stage, things were getting steamy between the two. At least as steamy as things can get over the internet. But that can only go so far. At some point, real life kicks in and it’s either YAY or NAY. Well…..

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
37 11 1 1 5 3 5/8 14/26 4/5

Enjoy your night Mr. Kristaps “I am warm-blooded human” Porzingis. I think YAY is in the cards or maybe YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Want the best tools and projections to help dominate your league? Check out the Stocktonator, the byproduct of Rudy and machine making love. Click HERE for a FREE 3-day trial.

Frank Ntilikina

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 13 5 5 1 0 1 3/4 5/11 0

Played 29 minutes and was on the court in crunch time. We know he can defend, but he was dropping some no-look dimes off pick-and-roll action. More impressively, he was stopping and popping mid-range Js like a vet. As has been said many times before, it’s only a matter of time for the Frenchise to assume his proper place on the throne. Yes, throne because Porzingis will be lying in a bed with a certain lady that has the initials J.S.

Doug McDermott

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 10 2 0 0 0 2 0/2 5/11 0

Keep in mind that the Knicks/Lakers game went to OT, so the minutes played are obviously boosted. With that said, McDermott has been on the court plenty lately, averaging around 28 minutes per game through six games in December.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 4 3 3 0 1 4/14 8/20 4/4

Damn, 14 attempts from downtown? Looks like someone else was trying to get laid last night too. Shooters shoot baby!

Lonzo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 17 8 6 2 1 1 3/6 6/13 2/3

Saw his brothers getting shipped off to Lithuania and was like, “I better start ballin’ the F out.” Lonzo is going to be a good one. Let’s not forget that he’s only 20 years old.

Kyle Kuzma

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 19 6 1 0 2 0 3/6 8/17 0

Was getting “Kuuuuuz” chants in MSG. Baller status right there. Played 30 minutes, which is 18 minutes too low. Kuz is so freaking good. Has the full repertoire on offense and perfect mentality to succeed.

Julius Randle played 27 minutes, Larry Nance Jr. played 26 minutes, and Brook Lopez played 23 minutes. “Around your partner do-si-do. Around your partner here we go. Around your partner and you’ll see….” They all have value, but talk about a glass ceiling.

Ersan Ilyasova

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 7 2 2 1 0 1 1/4 3/11 0

Got the start at power forward and played 23 minutes. I told you he’s inconsistent. Believe me now?

Tyler Cavanaugh

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 11 9 1 1 0 2 1/3 4/9 2/2

Got the start at center and played 29 minutes. Miles Plumlee only played 15 minutes, so Cavanaugh could be a nice little big man option while Dewayne Dedmon, Mike Muscala, and John Collins are out.

Taurean Prince

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 7 6 0 0 2 2/4 8/10 6/6

Prince came for the King, but it wasn’t enough. With that said, another excellent game for Taurean.

Kent Bazemore

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 8 5 2 2 3 6/10 7/13 0

First time all season that Bazemore had attempted more than six shots from downtown. He usually lives in the 00206 zip code.

Kevin Love

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 12 2 0 0 2 4/5 6/13 1/3

Ho-hum. Another double-dub. Love now has 17 on the season, which is four behind the leader.

LeBron James

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 7 17 2 0 2 2/3 11/13 1/2

Rajon Rondo opened up Pandora’s Dime Box the other night. After he dropped a season-high 18 dimes, Harden dished 17, and now LeBron with 17. Freaking copy cats. The Stocktonator knew what was coming, though, as it had the King number one last night.

Jose Calderon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 14 1 4 0 1 0 4/5 5/7 0

Dwayne Wade didn’t play, so Calderon probably sucked up some of his minutes. With that said, he has been geting more minutes lately and has been a very useful piece in terms of defense. Not on the ball, but off the ball in regards to awareness and communication.

Jeff Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 3 1 0 0 1 0/3 7/12 3/3

It’s really happening, huh? Lord help us. Green is averaging 25 minutes a game and has scored in double digits four of the six December games.

Tristan Thompson returned from injury, but only played six minutes. He will probably get ramped up to the 22-24 minutes range and could be a cheap source of rebounds.

Jamal Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 4 3 0 1 2 4/8 11/19 2/2

Played 32 minutes and led the Nuggets in scoring. Emmanuel Mudiay only played 15 minutes.

Will Barton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 6 10 1 1 1 0/2 2/5 0

Such a strange game for Barton, as he only attempted five shots and dished out a season-high 10 dimes. Maybe he thought he was supposed to be the White Elephant or Santa Claus. Or….maybe he did something really naughty. You know people be doing extra nice things when they feel guilty about some wrong they’ve done.

Tres Lyles

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 4 0 0 0 1 3/3 7/7 3/4

Played 27 minutes, but drove the OCD community insane with the missed free throw. His minutes could decrease when Nikola Jokic returns, but he may have carved out a nice little role for himself.

Malik Beasley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 4 0 0 0 1 0/2 4/11 0

Played 24 minutes. Beasley has played 24, 17, 29, and 17 minutes the past four games. The second-year pro could be creating a niche for himself. If your last name is Beasley and you don’t jack up shots with no regard for life, do you need to change your name?

SVG finally had enough Johnson and inserted Reggie Bullock into the starting lineup over Stanley.

Bullock:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 0 0 3 0 1 0/1 3/5 0

Johnson played 14 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
0 1 0 1 0 1 0/1 0/3 0

Boban Marjanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 14 5 2 0 0 0 0 4/6 6/8

The Pistons lost 103-84 and only one starter, Reggie Jackson (12 points), scored more than six points. No blurbs for you!

Bradley Beal

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 2 4 2 0 2 0/7 11/33 6/8

With John Wall out, Beal is the guy. 33 shot attempts. Even Kobe nodded in acknowledgment.

Marcin Gortat

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 5 9 3 0 0 1 0 1/2 3/4

Played only 18 minutes and just flat out sucked. Ian Mahinmi was out for the game, so not a good sign. Ace of Base anyone? I’d rather listen to that than have Gortat on a fantasy roster.

Jason Smith

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 5 0 1 1 1 0/1 4/7 1/1

Played 28 minutes and could be of value if Mahinmi continues to sit and Gortat continues to suck.

Spencer Dinwiddie

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 11 6 12 2 1 3 1/11 4/14 2/4

Played 32 minutes and led the team with a 25.1% usage rate. He should attack the rim more, especially when bigs switch onto him. I’m expecting a thank you text from Spencer any minute now.

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 16 12 1 0 1 0 0/1 5/9 6/8

Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Rondae.

Jarrett Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 11 2 0 0 2 0 0 4/6 3/4

Been getting around 20 minutes of run lately, so that’s a positive development. Let’s see how things shake out when Jahlil Okafor is brought into the mix.

Kawhi Leonard

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 6 1 1 1 0 1/4 6/12 0

Played 16 minutes. No more reason for owners to Kawhi. He will probably be brought along slowly and participate in the normal Spurs Siestas, but it looks like he’s back.

LaMarcus Aldridge

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 23 13 2 0 0 3 0/1 9/23 5/6

LMA has been so good this year. LMAO at myself for doubting him. Some usage will get siphoned off by Kawhi, but I think both will be able to coexist in perfect harmony. Stocktonator agrees, as it had both Kawhi and LMA high last night.

Rudy Gay

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 21 5 1 1 2 0 2/2 8/11 3/4

Played 27 minutes. I think Gay will continue to get minutes, even with Kawhi back in the mix because he’s so versatile. Can play the 3, 4, or 5 if Pop wants to go super small.

Bryn Forbes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 1 4 0 0 0 1/5 2/8 1/2

Played 21 minutes. Is averaging 27 mpg in December. Forbes is someone to keep an eye on, especially during Spurs Sietas and/or injuries. The team loves him and how can he not be anything but money.

Maximilian Kleber

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 5 4 0 0 0 0 1/3 2/5 0

Played 30 minutes. I will continue to write about Kleber until we get to the bottom of why he starts and plays so much. Reason #1. He’s a gangster. #2 Abby Carlisle #3 Carlisle thinks he’s related to Stacy Kiebler #4 Carlisle likes Keebler cookies. I’m open to suggestions.

With Dennis Smith Jr. still out, Yogi Ferrell played 35 minutes, JJ Barea 25 minutes, and Devin Harris 19 minutes. Yogi and JJ have been pretty productive.

Richaun Holmes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 11 2 0 1 2 1/3 6/11 2/3

Got the start at power forward and played 33 minutes. Odale Holmes!

JJ Redick

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 2 3 0 0 3 3/9 6/15 11/11

Such a perfect piece for the 76ers.

Joel Embiid almost messed around.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 28 12 8 0 1 2 1/1 8/16 11/12

Who gonna sex Embiid?! At some point in the future, basketball is going to be a game of 5-on-5 with every player close to seven feet tall. A bunch of Embiid clones that can all dribble, shoot, pass, rebound, dunk, etc.

Ben Simmons

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 3 8 1 0 7 0 3/8 1/3

The lede of this post was Porzingis getting amped to play so that he could get laid. Well, it looks like Simmons had no motivation because business was already taken care of the night before.

Trevor Booker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 12 5 5 2 1 0 0 6/8 0

Has played 20, 25, and 20 minutes since arriving in Philly. Has scored in double figures every game and filled the stats sheet with boards, dimes, blocks, and steals. Unfortunately, I don’t see him getting much more playing time than that, but he’s relevant as is.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 16 2 4 3 1 0/4 6/16 7/10

That’s what the Stocktonator was blaring when I walked into the room. Probably because it had KAT as the number two play last night.

Jimmy Butler

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
38 6 3 1 0 1 3/9 15/33 5/5

Stocktonator also loved Jimmy last night.

The Suns lost to the Kings. Nine players received at least 20 minutes of run. My mistake. Eight players with one getting 19 minutes. TJ Warren led the team with 18 points, Mike James chipped in 17, while Tyler Ulis scored 10. No one else hit the double digit mark. No blurbs for you!

Zach Randolph got the start at center and played 28 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 5 1 0 1 0/2 7/14 3/3

Willie Cauley-Stein did return to action and played 30 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 13 6 2 0 0 0 0 5/12 3/7

Bogdan Bogdanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 10 5 4 1 0 1 2/7 3/9 2/2

Played 33 minutes, but didn’t start because it’s imperative that George Hill gets minutes.

I have no clue what the Kings are doing. I don’t think the Kings know what they are doing. The starting lineup last night was Fox, Hill, Temple, Labissiere, and Randolph. Fox played 21 minutes, Hill played 28, Temple played 15, Labissiere played 13, and Randolph 28. Koufos played 20 minutes, Mason 27, and Hield 25. I think Vivek had a heart to heart with Vlade in the offseason. “Vlade, let’s zig while others are zagging. The league is trending toward predictive analytics and such. Let’s flip the paradigm upside down and operate in a fashion that is complete anarchy. Think about it , Vlade. If we don’t know what we’re doing, no one else will be able to know as well” Vlade, after taking three deep puffs of a Marlboro Red, “Vivek, you are genius man.”

55 Comments
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AKTHESAVIOR
AKTHESAVIOR
5 years ago

Who would you rather have: Lyles, Holmes, Nance or Chriss?

Thanks!

AKTHESAVIOR
AKTHESAVIOR
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son: The one I have!

AKTHESAVIOR
AKTHESAVIOR
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son: I am always tempted by Chriss’ diverse skillset but he has been dissapointing so far.

Thank you for your reply Son 😉

AKTHESAVIOR
AKTHESAVIOR
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son: You think he will start delivering soon then? It will hurt me if he starts bringing some fire and I didnt risk to get him. I am playing a 14 team league and there are not a lot of great players in the FA pool.

I just wanna Kawhi
I just wanna Kawhi
5 years ago

I want to be pissed at Crabbe for his poor shooting but I need to realize that nobody from the waiver wire shoots 13 times from beyond the arc. Now, his shots only need to fall then we good. Hah

Anyway, welcome back Kawhi.

I just wanna Kawhi
I just wanna Kawhi
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son:

Yea, we have to be smart and not do things based on emotions. Lol. Crabbe is still playing tons of minutes, however, with the eventual return of Russell is there any chance that his minutes take a hit? And that someone like Joe Harris, LeVert or Stauskas supplant him from his starting role??

One last thing–I held onto Seth for a long time only to find out that his injury only made litte progression. Hah He’s on the IR though, but still is a bummer.

I just wanna Kawhi
I just wanna Kawhi
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son:

Yass, that’s what I wanted to hear. Hah

Yea, but I think my team is all set now with Kawhi returning. I will now have a better idea of what my team’s identity really is. I have still managed though to boast a winning record (currently at #4 in an 18 team league) despite Kawhi missing a toooooon of games. I’ll show you how my squad looks like in a different comment!

MFlo:20
MFlo:20
5 years ago

Hi razz team

Was offered
1. Trevor booker for Wilson chandler

I tried to deal BroLo for either Rubio or Bradley.

Hope to hear from you.

Mr. Blast
Mr. Blast
5 years ago

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyo!

Good stuff Son!

#4 Keebler cookies!

Squad – H2H – 12 teamer – No I.R – 13 cats

Wall / DSJ / J. Murray / Yogi
G. Harris / Crabbe / Hardaway
T. Harris / T. Prince / Ilyasova
Cousins / Gobert / Love / Blake / Okafor

Looking at Holmes… with bulging eyes.

Would you dump Ilya for him ? Which fits the squad better ?

Okafor a hold ?

Also Frenchise is available – Yogi could be swappped there ?

I’d like to have Yogi for the week tho.

Thanks

Willy
Willy
5 years ago

Hello son,

Could you please rank for middleton,aaron gordon,gary harris,ariza & tj warren

Thanks

Rising
Rising
5 years ago

Hey son, what do you think of melo and pau for Elfrid? I’m elite in asts and close to elite in rbs in my 12 team h2h 9-cat. I’m looking to improve my pts, 3’s, and solidify boards but I’m worried about steals which I’m going back and forth every week. I’ll also be losing my stream spot. Thanks!

Lebron
M Gasol
Lillard
Wilson chandler
Randle
Lamb
Elfrid
Lavine
Zbo
Dirk
Kanter
Rondo
Mike James (stream)

Jon
Jon
5 years ago

Hi Son,

14m \ H2H \ 9cat

PG – Smart, Jrue, Rubio, Isaiah
SF – Fournier, Josh Jackson, Levert
PF – Marcus Morris, Frank the tank, Jabari, AD
C – Embiid, Gobert, Len

Need to drop Morris. There’s the Frenchise, Holmes, yogi, kleber, trey, portis, and cavanaugh.

Props to Godzingus for snagging Jen hahaha.

Thanks again Son! Great Work!!

Jon
Jon
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son: Thanks Son! I ended up picking up the Frenchy and hope I get some poutine outta him!

Another question, what do you think of my team? I understand that you’d probably move or ship some people.

Ballislife
Ballislife
5 years ago

Would you trade Marc Gasol and Rondo for Wall and Iggy? 12 team h2h, redraft. Or is that too much?

Also you feel like DSJ is still a hold?

Thanks.

miles proudfoot
miles proudfoot
5 years ago

Do you like RJax or Bradley more ROS? I need to jettison some guard in trades.

Kawhi
Kawhi
5 years ago

I got offer for trade…
My: Porzingis, D. Mitchell
His: A. Davis, Justin Holiday

H2H 9cat league points

Kind of hard decision..what to do? ps. be quick with answer please

Relaxntakeitez
Relaxntakeitez
5 years ago

Sup Son!

The Rooster has both literally and figuratively become a pain in the azz!

He’s hurt again, and seems like it could be another 1-2 week shelved. He’s not IR eligible yet, so he’s just racking up zip 0’s.

So, what’s your stance on Gallinari? Should I hold him? Drop him for someone like MKG/Frenchise/Nwaba?

Relaxntakeitez
Relaxntakeitez
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son: thanks son!

Relaxntakeitez
Relaxntakeitez
5 years ago
Reply to  Relaxntakeitez

@Relaxntakeitez:

Oh yea forgot to list my team. 12 team 9 cat H2H. Was struggling with 3’s, so made a big deal shipping out Ben Simmons and some small pieces for Boogie and Dunn.

K.Dunn/Burks
Korver/J.Simmons/C.J. Miles
Giannis/Ingram/Melo
Draymond/R.Anderson/Rooster
Cousins/Drummond/Valanciunas

J
J
5 years ago

Would you trade Tobias Harris and Tatum for Jimmy Butler? Been looking to do a 2 for 1 to free up some space on the roster

APOK
APOK
5 years ago

What up Son,

14-team / 9 CAT / Instead of %’s its FTM&FGM

PG: Lonzo/Fox
GF: DeRozan/Wiggins/Hield/Bazemore/Bogdanovic
F: Lebron/Harris/Lyles/Aminu
C: Sabonis/Collins
IR: Fultz

Best current waiver wire players (season avg league rankings): Portis, Valentine, Ross, Miles, Wes Johnson, Korver, Hill, Jeff Green, Ferrell… (you get the idea)

Currently 5.5 GB of 1st, and beating him 5-4. I’m looking to possibly move Lebron soon for a package deal of some sort, or even package him with Wiggins. Any ideas on possible moves or should I just hold for now?

APOK
APOK
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son:

Thanks for the response, I’ll try to get some ideas then.

I just wanna Kawhi
I just wanna Kawhi
5 years ago

H2h 9-cat, 18-man

G – Butler, Mitchell, Rubio, Collison, Crabbe
F – Leonard, Gordon, James Johnson
C – Capela, Lopez

In an 18 team league having a point guard that can provide 8-9 dimes per ball game is fantasy gold. Unfortunately, I no longer have a player like that. Rubio was supposed to be that guy but he’s garbage now. Lol

I will have to tweak my squad now with Butler’s resurgence, Mitchell’s emergence and Leonard coming back. These three, together with Aaron and Clint are my core of five. I’ll be building around them, meaning I will need to punt assists ultimately. And that is why I mentioned Rubio… My squad doesn’t need him anymore. However if I try and move him now I’m only getting a bag of beans in return, so this is obviously not the perfect time to that. We’ve got to wait. And pray. Hahah.

I’m starting to like James Johnson again. His d-stats and good rebounding numbers fit perfectly with Butler and Leonard. Crabbe’s treys complement Aaron and Donovan’s, and he’s a decent rebounder too.

This leads us now to the last two players: Brook and Darren. We don’t need to talk about Brook bcos everyone knows his situation–too talented to drop in an 18-team league, but too awful to trade and there are no takers. Hahah.

Collison I think is the odd man out. Just like Rubio, I no longer need his assists. Who should I offer him for? Let’s get a PF/C in return. Is Pau a nice target? Or anyone else?

Renz
Renz
5 years ago

Sup Son! Killed it again with your humorous write-up!

Just want to know your ranking with these guys

Tristan Thompson, JaMychal Green, BAM and Dieng? In need of more REBs, FG% and BLKs. Thanks!

Renz
Renz
5 years ago
Reply to  Renz

@Renz:

Is it also good to leave Valentine in the waivers?

Renz
Renz
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son:

Thank you so much mate! Have a good day!

Pedro
Pedro
5 years ago

Hi Son.

I know what you think about Chriss.
I recently took Jarrett Allen and Holmes and I want to be patient with them but eventually I will have to drop one out of these three. Who would you drop?

Gracias.

Pedro
Pedro
5 years ago
Reply to  Son

@Son:

Thanks.