DEFCON is an alert state used by the United States Armed Forces. DEFCON 5 – All good. DEFCON 4 – Maybe I should put the donut down. DEFCON 3 – Oh shit, things getting serious up in here. DEFCON 2 – WTF?! DEFCON 1 – Annhilation is imminent. Entering the 2017-18 season, the Cavaliers were at DEFCON 5. They were coming off a trip to the NBA Finals. LeBron James was still on the team so a trip back seemed like a good possibility. Then, Kyrie Irving was traded to the Celtics in August. DEFCON 4. A move that made donut stuffers think about calories and carbs, but nothing to bring a person to actually throw one into the trash. Through the first seven games to open the season, the Cavs went 3-4. LeBron was putting up 24/7/8/1/1 and shooting 58% from the field in 37 minutes per game. Ru roh. DEFCON 3. Shit was getting serious. Like William Wallace, LeBron stepped up and led his troops into battle. He upped his minutes per to 40 and averaged a ridonkulous 39 points, seven boards, 10 dimes, one and a half blocks, and two steals in the first three games of November. Record? 1-2. WTF?! The Cavs were on the verge of DEFCON 1, but then….Kevin Love found a way. 32 points, 16 boards, three dimes, two steals, and one block in 35 minutes. He shot 9-of-14 from the field and 14-of-16 from the charity stripe. With how terrible the Cavs defense is, Love is going to be needed to step up and help carry the load with LeBron. Can he hold up, though? He missed 22 games due to injury last season. As we all know, Love often leads to heartache.
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Here’s what else I saw last night:
Giannis Antetokounmpo scored 40 points, grabbed nine boards, dished out three dimes, and blocked four. 16-of-21 from the field and 8-of-11 from the charity stripe. He did turn the ball over eight times, though. Talk to the hand. I think G has transcended to Prince-symbol status. Primitive letters cannot convey the sheer awesomeness.
Nikola Jokic scored 41 points, grabbed 12 boards, dished out five dimes, pilfered two, and blocked two. He shot 4-of-9 from downtown. The Joker has serious game. So does the Stocktonator, which didn’t mess around projecting Jokic to have a big game last night. It also loves his matchup against OKC on Thursday.
Anthony Davis scored 37 points, grabbed 14 boards, dished out four dimes, pilfered one, and blocked two. DeMarcus Cousins scored 32 points, grabbed 13 boards, dished out six dimes, and blocked two. 4-of-10 from downtown! Ha! Davis went 4-of-5 from downtown. Ha! Ha! The Twin Towers down in New Orleans are a spectacle to see. They literally could be the tallest things in the city. Joke, my citizens of New Orleans. No need to get defensive. Speaking of defense in New Orleans……<sound of crickets>.
With Joel Embiid sitting, Richaun Holmes got the start for Philly. Six points, five boards, two dimes, and one block in 15 minutes. No bueno. Early foul trouble prohibited him from making an impact. Do I think he’s still fantasy relevant?
Dario Saric scored 25 points, grabbed 10 boards, and dished out a dime in 36 minutes of run. Saric was the main beneficiary of Holmes’ foul trouble. Is it a coincidence that Saric is nicknamed The Homie?
Ben Simmons scored 16 points, grabbed 13 boards, dished out six dimes, pilfered three, and blocked three. He did only shoot 7-of-22 from the field and turned the ball over six times. With that said, I get excited thinking about Ben as much as women do when seeing the tongue of Gene Simmons.
T.J. McConnell scored seven points, grabbed four boards, and dished out eight dimes in 30 minutes. With Markelle Fultz and Jerryd Bayless out, McConnell will see minutes in the high-20s to low-30s with a slight chance of rain from the mid-range.
Rudy Gobert scored 16 points, grabbed 15 boards, dished out a dime, blocked three, and pilfered two. Yeah yeah. Tell me something I didn’t know. 8-of-12 from the charity stripe.
He’s shooting 72% from the line on the season. Rudy! Rudy! Did all these big men suddenly watch Dave Hopla videos all summer?
Donovan Mitchell scored eight points, grabbed three boards, dished out one dime, pilfered one, and blocked one. The shooting was ugly: 3-of-21 from the field and 2-of-11 from downtown. With that said, he played 31 minutes. He’s played over 30 minutes in three of the past four games.
Derrick Favors only played 20 minutes. That was the fewest in any game this season. No foul trouble. No injury. Not doing fantasy owners any Favors. Ba da dum. I’m here all night. If his minutes stay down here in the low-20s, do yourself a Favors.
OKC just lost to the Kings, 94-86, to drop them to 4-6 on the season. I guess this whole mish mash Black Holes isn’t working. Full disclosure: I did think it would work. It’s still early and there’s always an adjustment period early on, but things are not looking so swell right now.
The question is: Will Russell Westbrook revert back to the Hulk and start smashing again? Because if he does, Thunder fans may as well start sharpening those seppuku knives.
Jerami Grant is a player to keep an eye on. He’s played at least 23 minutes in each of the last seven games. During that stretch, 9.2 points, 4.3 boards, 1.2 dimes, 1.3 steals, and 1.2 blocks. 45% from the field and 81% from the line.
Steven Adams pilfered five! He is truly having a career year. Highs in points, steals, blocks, assists, rebounds, free throw percentage, field goal percentage, and minutes played. That’d be cool if the season ended after 10 games.
Zach Randolph scored 18 points, grabbed eight boards, dished out three dimes, and pilfered two in 26 minutes. To those of you in the offseason that were bullish on Zach, salud. I did not believe. I believe now, but what I don’t believe is how the Kings front office believes. It’s unbelievable. Why are they not letting the young kids play and grow together? Let’s go to the audio that I acquired from my robot fly that I planted in Vivek’s office. DAVE JOERGER: Vivek, why did you stick me with all these old guys? VIVEK: Who you calling old? Listen up here, young whippersnapper. You know how internet sites make money from the number of clicks and views it gets? Well, the advertisers said enough was enough. 30 win seasons weren’t cutting it. Our quota is now 40 wins. Got it? DJ: Ok, Vivek. You’re the boss. So, we’re just clickbait now?
Buddy Hield scored 21 points, grabbed seven boards, dished out a dime, and pilfered two in 28 minutes. Some more audio from my robot fly. VIVEK: And Dave? Why are you not playing my Buddy? DJ: Yes boss.
De’Aaron Fox scored 10 points, grabbed two boards, dished out eight dimes, and blocked one in 24 minutes. George Hill played 24 minutes and scored one point, grabbed five boards, and dished out three dimes. I’m as perplexed as you are. They won, though. But they have a 2-8 record, yet feel compelled to play veterans.
Justin Jackson gets 30 minutes of run but Willie Cauley-Stein plays 21 minutes. Jackson had received 20 minutes just once this season, so of course he plays 30. Me thinks it’s a blip on the radar but that’s what Sadaam thought too. If he starts getting heavy minutes, then you have to consider picking him up. As for WCS, did Vivek try to get on Win Ben Stein’s Money back in the day and get rejected? Now, he’s taking it out on Cauley-Stein because seeing or hearing the name Stein triggers bad memories?
Dillon Brooks scored seven points, grabbed eight boards, dished out a dime, pilfered three, and blocked two. 38 minutes!
Tyreke Evans scored 21 points, grabbed two boards, dished out five dimes, blocked one, and pilfered three. 32 minutes! That makes five in row with 30 or more minutes. I believe Tyreke has graduated. I will no longer write about him unless he does something amazing or terrible. Congratulations Tyreke! I know it’s a big night for you.
Jusuf Nurkic scored six points, grabbed five boards, and pilfered one in 20 minutes. Nurk puts up a stinker once in a while, so there’s no cause for concern. Plus, Marc Gasol is a really good defender. Stocktonator loves his matchup against the Nets on Friday.
C. J. McCollum scored 36 points, grabbed two boards, dished out a dime, and pilfered three. CJ went 14-of-26 from the field. I have to give Urkel love when he balls out, but it makes me sad because that usually means I can’t post any Dame Dolla.
Caleb Swanigan was a DNP – Coach’s decision.
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson did not play due to a right hip injury. Kenny Atkinson played 12 guys and they all received at least 15 minutes of run. My six-year old son is playing hoops and every five minutes, a timeout is called so that mass substitutions can take place. That’s gotta be what’s going on here.
Tyler Zeller played a game-high 28 minutes and scored 21 minutes, grabbed five boards, blocked one, and pilfered one. Anyone that played Zeller in DFS is a time traveller. Ok, maybe not, as Jarrett Allen was out and Timofey Mozgov still gets run. Naw, time traveller.
Jamal Murray scored four points, grabbed two boards, dished out four dimes, and pilfered two in 25 minutes. Emmanuel Mudiay wasn’t much better, scoring two points, grabbing three boards, and dishing out two dimes in 22 minutes. I’m still a Murray believer, but it’s going to require a monk-like discipline to hold steady.
Gary Harris scored nine points, grabbed four boards, dished out five dimes, and pilfered six!!! He’s been underwhelming in the scoring department, as he hasn’t scored 20 points in a game this year. With that said, he’s a top 50 fantasy player. The scoring is going to come. Just a matter of time. I could be a time traveller too you know.
Will Barton scored 17 points, grabbed eight boards, dished out four dimes, pilfered one, and blocked two in 31 minutes. What a glorious day, as we have two players graduating tonight. Barton will now join Tyreke in….I guess I’ll call it the Player’s Lounge. Congrats!
Blake Griffin with another game without a block. The trolls on Twitter must love him.
Wesley Johnson got the start for Danilo Gallinari and scored 12 points, grabbed six boards, dished out two dimes, pilfered one, and blocked one in 33 minutes. The DFS special of the night.
Austin Rivers scored 24 points, grabbed two boards, dished out three dimes, and pilfered two. He played 36 minutes and led the Clips with 17 shot attempts. I wonder how many games the Clippers have won when Rivers has led the team in shot attempts. I’m pretty sure Greg Popovich knows.
LaMarcus Aldridge scored 25 points, grabbed six boards, dished out two dimes, pilfered one, and blocked two. Blake. Seriously? DJ. Really? Ok, that ain’t right. Gotta give props to LMA, as he’s been balling out all year. The more Kawhi misses time, the more I think that Pop knew all along that Kawhi’s injury was worse than he let on. That’s why he spent all offseason formulating a plan to massage LMA’s ego and get him ready for the season. What a freaking Jedi master.
Bobby Portis played 24 minutes and scored 21 points, grabbed 13 boards, and dished out four dimes. He even went 3-of-5 from downtown. Here’s audio caught from the broadcast. BOBBY: Yo, you better not put your hand up or Imma do you like I did Mirotic. Reminds me of the Last Boy Scout when the dude scored a touchdown.
Kris Dunn scored 10 points, grabbed six boards, dished out four dimes, and pilfered two in 26 minutes. He shot 3-of-6 from the field and 1-of-2 from downtown. Jerian Grant scored seven points, grabbed two boards, dished out five dimes, and pilfered three in 22 minutes. He shot 1-of-7 from the field. I’m not a big Dunn guy, but he’s probably going to get the bulk of the work sooner rather than later.
With David Nwaba out, Denzel Valentine played 27 minutes and scored 14 points, dished out four dimes, pilfered two, and blocked one. He’s no Billy Ray, but Denzel could do a little something something.
Serge Ibaka did not dish out a dime again. He has a total of three on the season. Blake has a total of three blocks on the season. This is going to be a captivating battle that will consume my attention all year long. Who do you think ends up with more? Ibaka should be the odds on favorite, but…..
Malik Monk scored 21 points, grabbed two boards, and dished out three dimes in 27 minutes. He went 8-of-17 from the field and 5-of-13 from downtown. Any of y’all remember this classic?
I always think of this when I watch Monk play.
Frank Ntilikina scored three points, grabbed three boards, and dished out eight dimes in 26 minutes. It’s happening people!
Doug McDermott played 27 minutes and Lance Thomas 25 minutes. Dougie scored 20 points while Lance dropped 10. The Knicks scored 118 points and are now 6-4 on the season. What a world!
Salah Mejri played 25 minutes and scored 10 points, grabbed 12 boards, and blocked five. Nerlens Noel? Six minutes. I’m not sure this is the NWO, but I’d drop Noel for him.
Harrison Barnes scored 31 points, grabbed nine boards, dished out a dime, pilfered one, and blocked one in 39 minutes. I still can’t believe he went all Chuck Knoblauch in that playoff series two years ago.
Dennis Smith Jr. scored 22 points, grabbed eight boards, dished out eight dimes, and pilfered one in 32 minutes. My love for DSJ knows no bounds.
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/FearfulCompetentHamster
The Wizards lost by 14 at home to the Mavericks. No blurbs for you!
Jameer Nelson scored 10 points, grabbed two boards, dished out three dimes, pilfered three, and blocked one in 29 minutes. He’s played 29, 35, and 28 minutes the past three games. He’s a sneaky source of production.
Myles Turner scored 21 points, grabbed 12 boards, and blocked three in 35 minutes. I love it when Myles makes beautiful music.
Lance Stephenson scored 14 points, grabbed eight boards, dished out two dimes, and pilfered one in 28 minutes. This is not a Tyreke situation, as Lance has received more than 20 minutes only twice in the past nine games.
John Henson got the start due to the Greg Monroe trade, but he was in early foul trouble and ended the night with seven points, three boards, one dime, and one block. There will be better days ahead, as he should continue to get the starts at center. Thon Maker is not a factor.
Mirza Teletovic scored 16 points and grabbed two boards in 17 minutes. He got some extra playing time due to Henson getting into foul trouble, but Teletovic is nothing more than a three-point chucker.
J. R. Smith scored 20 points, grabbed one board, and pilfered one in 37 minutes. He gets minutes, but is usually unproductive. Grab him if your league counts tatoos.
