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I’m sure there have been many nights when New Yorkers had their knives in hand ready to shank Julius Randle in the back. Spin move this, mother f!@#er! Good thing he doesn’t ride the A C E 1 2 3 B D F M N Q R 4 5 or 6 trains. Whew. After last night’s game though…..

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 14 7 0 1 2 3/5 8/17 10/11

….NYC would’ve formed a mosh pit and crowd-surfed Randle to wherever he wanted to go, as he led the Knicks to a 130-110 drubbing of the Bucks. We know Randle can score and grab boards, and he’s developed his three-point over the years. The increase in dimes, though, has been eye-opening. He’s often at the top of the key and has shooters running to him for dribble handoffs, like how Bam Adebayo does for Duncan Robinson in Miami. If he fakes the handoff, the man in the corner cuts baseline and Randle finds him. That is just one action I’ve seen. Is Thibs unlocking Randle? It’s possible. Now, you won’t get much in the way of defensive stats and the percentages are dreamy right now, so a reality check in those departments is in store. With that said, if the dimes are real, then he could crack the top 75 for the first time in his career.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Kelly Oubre Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 11 0 4 0 3 0/6 3/16 2/2

No Big O from Kelly. All the ladies in the house are nodding their heads up and down. Don’t trip, though. Through three games, ubre is shooting 17.5% from the field. He’s shot over 44% from the field in each of the last three seasons. Woo sah. Woo sah. At least he’s getting his 211 on.

James Wiseman

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 3 0 1 1 1 1/1 3/8 0

Played 23 minutes due to foul trouble. A Wiseman once said, “The journey is fraught with peaks and valleys, but the experiences bring wisdom and fantasy points.”

Steph Curry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
36 2 6 2 2 4 5/15 11/25 9/9

The Curry was extra spicy hot last night as Steph finally broke out from his two-game slump and led the Warriors to their first win of the season. That said, both the Bulls and Warriors stink.

Lauri Markkanen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 7 1 1 1 2 4/7 7/13 5/7

Lauri has been on the Markkanen, as he’s shooting 52% from the field through three games. He’s a 43% shooter so expect some massive regression. Something to monitor is that he tweaked his ankle late in the game and has been listed as questionable for Tuesday’s game against the Wizards.

Wendell Carter Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 13 4 0 0 3 1/2 8/9 5/8

This Carter Administration has so much potential but it’s been hindered by one thing after another. A budgetary increase for the Department of Health and Human Services needs to be priority number one, as his health is the only thing keeping him from good times. The donuts in the defensive stats shouldn’t be a nightly occurrence. I’m thinking he was just trying to bring the police into his district.

Zach LaVine

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 7 3 2 2 7 4/12 11/23 7/9

Has a usage rate of 34 in three games this season! He is the alpha and omega of this Bulls squad, for better or for worse. The elevated turnovers are an issue and so are the low dime numbers. I’d expect both to move in the opposite direction sooner than later. As for the defensive stats, the steals are legit but the blocks are a mirage.

Patrick Williams

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 4 2 0 3 2 0/1 2/5 2/2

Got the start but only played 26 minutes. The trials and tribulations for rookies. I like his game because the defensive stats will be there and he has the ability to score from all three levels. But let’s not forget that he’s still only 19 years old.

Otto Porter Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 6 3 0 0 3 3/4 3/4 3/4

Played 21 minutes off the bench. Remember when this guy used to be good? It was just three years ago when he was a top 20 player. Crazy. What’s crazy is the symmetry in his stat line. 3, 6, and 12 are all divisible by 3. There are three 3/4, which are three parts of a whole. His name has three parts. He was good three years ago. He’s played 3 games so far. I ain’t crazy, you’re crazy.

Mikal Bridges

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 7 1 0 1 0 4/8 9/15 0

Played a team-high 36 minutes. I didn’t draft Mikal anywhere because someone kept telling me that it was a Bridges to nowhere. I’m a stupid, stupid man. The efficiency has been amazing, the turnovers have been low, and he’s providing points, tres, boards, and blocks. He’s averaging 11.3 shots per game! Currently, he’s a top 25 player and could crack the top 50, which would fit his career arc. He was a top 100 player his rookie year then improved to a top 75 player. My SAT prepping tells me that the top 50 is the answer.

Chris Paul

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 4 12 0 0 2 0/2 4/10 0

Paul has been a good neighbor by helping his teammates score buckets. He’s averaging 9.7 dimes in three games so far. The big bugaboo to his season so far has been the efficiency, as he’s converting only 39% of his attempts. He’s a 47-48% shooter so…..Woo sah. Woo sah. Have patience grasshopper.

Deandre Ayton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 15 4 0 0 1 1/2 5/11 0

I like him Ayton, but not when he’s stinking up the joint, especially from the free-throw line. Now, Ayton is only averaging 27.8 minutes per game because he’s been in foul trouble. Once he gets into the groove….You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I’m telling you why.

 Devin Booker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 5 5 2 1 4 1/6 8/19 3/4

Such a solid player, as he only lacks in the blocks department. Currently, the dimes are light, turnovers are high, and free throw shooting is average, but those will all correct themselves. Booker it.

Frank Kaminsky

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 2 2 0 1 1 1/2 5/10 0

Played 19 minutes off the bench. Like a cockroach, you can’t kill Frank the Tank. I guess it makes sense that he reappears in Phoenix because you see the cockroaches when you turn on the light. Well, it’s all about the Suns in Phoenix.

Cameron Johnson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 1 1 1 0 0 3/4 7/9 4/4

In 21 minutes off the bench. The Suns need to get this guy into the starting rotation and can Crowder. Now, Johnson is playing at an elevated level, shooting 53% from the field, which isn’t sustainable, but it’s not like he’s going to go limp. It is better than the house of bricks that Crowder provides. If you need some points, tres, and steals, then Johnson can help you. The minutes won’t be voluminous though.

Cameron Payne

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 5 6 2 0 0 1/2 2/5 2/2

In 20 minutes off the bench. I rarely go on the Cam Payne trail, but if you need dimes, then he could be your man.

Richaun Holmes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 11 0 2 1 2 0 3/5 2/2

Orale, Holmes! Got the start but only played 25 minutes. He still provides the boards and defensive stats. Orale, Holmes!!! The encouraging development from last night was that Hassan Whiteside only played 10 minutes. Is it happening? Then…..yup. Orale, Holmes!!!

Harrison Barnes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 7 0 0 0 1 0/1 4/6 2/3

That’s the Mehrrison I know and love so dearly.

De’Aaron Fox

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 0 4 0 0 5 0/2 4/12 4/6

Was in foul trouble, but the hounds were all on his scent, so he had to lay low. It happens. Fox is smart enough to know when to fight and when to flight.

Tyrese Haliburton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 1 6 0 0 0 3/4 5/7 2/2

In 27 minutes off the bench. Haliburton has played 30, 26, and 27 minutes to start the season. He’s been inconsistent scoring, but he looks comfortable and has been a nice source of dimes. Have the Kings discovered the next great source of oil that will fuel their franchise for the next decade? Come back and read me every day to find out.

Naz Reid

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 5 4 2 0 1 1/4 5/13 0

It ain’t hard to tell that Naz can ball out. For a big man, he moves well and has a nice stroke from downtown. Naz also has diversity as he displayed some playmaking. It’s always Illmatic when Naz gets on the floor. Unfortunately, it was at the expense of Karl-Anthony Towns, who is out for some games due to a dislocated wrist. Me-f’ing-ow.

D’Angelo Russell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 0 3 1 1 7 0/1 2/7 0

Snitches get stitches.

The Lakers destroyed the Timberpuppies, 127-91, so no one played a full allotment of minutes.

Anthony Edwards

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 4 2 1 0 1 1/9 6/21 2/2

Last night, as I was watching this game, I entered a meditative state as the sound from the tv was hypnotic: Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng. Claaaaaaaanng.

Kyle Kuzma

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 3 3 0 3 1 4/6 8/12 0

Got the start, as Anthony Davis was excused with a doctor’s note, and played 29 minutes. Kuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzz. Points and tres are his thing for fantasy, but he ain’t shooting 55% from the field all season. Now, from a real life perspective, his defense has gotten so much better since his rookie year and he moves very well without the ball, which gives him easy layups.

LeBron James

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 9 5 1 0 4 1/5 6/13 5/7

Only played 26 minutes because the Timberpuppies haven’t matured yet.

Marc Gasol

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 7 8 0 4 3 3/3 4/4 1/1

In 21 minutes! He is such an amazing passer, so the dimes are 2 Legit 2 Quit. He will also grab some boards and drain some tres. I wouldn’t count on the blocks though. The main thing will be the minutes. I doubt he gets much more than 22-23 minutes per game, but he can still produce some fantasy goodies.

Talen Horton-Tucker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 2 3 2 1 0 2/5 4/12 2/2

In 21 minutes off the bench. He had the ball in his hands a lot and was initiating the offense. He was also taking and making some ridiculous shots. He’s going to carve out a role for himself for sure. It’s just a matter of how much. For fantasy, though, not sure he can be used much outside of the days when either LeBron or AD sit.

Jayson Tatum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 11 5 0 1 5 3/9 9/21 4/4

Channing is so happy that NBA back, as his Google alerts have been popping off with people accidentally clicking his name. He’s back!!! Tatum is a 1/1/1 player who scores a ton, grab boards, and dishes out dimes. Sorry, I could’ve been more efficient. He does it all. Speaking of efficiency, Tatum is shooting 42% from the field. That will likely go up up a few percentage points. The turnovers have been high as well, but with more responsibility comes more something something.

Daniel Theis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 4 0 1 2 0 0/2 2/5 0

Continues to start but only played 15 minutes. He did play 24 and 23 minutes the first two games so it could be nothing. Or it could be something. Definitely have to keep an eye on this one. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know. Turn off the lights and I’ll glow.

Robert Williams III

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 4 1 4 2 1 0 6/7 0

Time Lord!!! The field goal percentage and defensive stats are huge from Williams. It’s all about the minutes. Is the transition happening? Theis out, Williams in? Things that make you go hmmmm. Well, I never understood naming different kids the same name and placing a number at the end. Can someone explain that to me?

Myles Turner

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 7 0 2 5 1 0/4 3/10 4/4

Y’all know that I’ve walked 500 Myles….And 500 more…..In fact, I’ve probably walked a million Myles and I’ll continue to walk a million more. Myles is averaging 5.7 blocks in three games! L. O. L. And he’s getting his steal on. Unfortunately, he’s only shooting 40% from the field and still doesn’t rebound the ball well. Idc. Idc. I will still keep walking.

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 10 5 0 1 4 2/4 8/18 1/3

Played a whopping 41 minutes in this one. Sabonis has been amazing to start the season, as he’s averaging 24.3 points, 11 boards, 7 dimes, and 1.3 tres!!! Unfortunately, the turnovers are at 4.3 while the field goal percentage is the same as the free throw percentage. That’d be great if he was shooting 80% from the field. It’s turrable when he’s shooting 57%.

Malcolm Brogdon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 5 5 2 0 5 2/7 11/20 1/2

He’s played 54, 64, and 48 games the last three seasons, but injury concern and the lack of blocks are the only bugaboos to his game. Tons of points, tres, dimes, boards, and good percentages. Turnovers are low too, which is bad at the local donut shop but excellent for fantasy.

Doug McDermott

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 1 3 1 0 0 3/7 6/12 1/2

Played 27 minutes off the bench. Do the dougie! If you need tres, then Dougie’s your man. If you need anything else, God speed.

Mitchell Robinson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 6 1 2 1 1 0 4/6 1/1

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, won’t you be mine? Mr. Robinson played a whopping 35 minutes and only fouled two times!!! Hallelujah! It’s on like freaking Donkey Kong. It’s all about the minutes in this neighborhood. Nerlens Noel only played 13 minutes.

Elfrid Payton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 3 7 1 0 3 3/3 12/16 0/2

Elfrid has been terrible to start the season. With Christmas over, the hard work of helping Santa is over, so now he can concentrate on his day job.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 13 5 3 0 3 1/5 9/15 8/13

Through three games, G is the 165th player on a per-game basis! SELL!!! I kid. While he’s scoring, grabbing boards, and even draining some tres, the dimes are low, blocks are under 1 per game, field goal percentage is at 47% after consistently being above 55%, the free throw percentage is at a laughable 58%, and he’s turning the ball over 4 times per game. Yuck. He’ll be fine, except in the free throw category.

Bobby Portis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 2 1 1 1 1/2 7/12 2/2

In 26 minutes off the bench. Will get run and be productive in blowouts and when others are in foul trouble. Have fun trying to predict those.

Dwight Howard got the start because Joel Embiid did not play due to back tightness. The 76ers lost 94-118 to the Cavs. What? WHAT?! You know the drill. No stat boxes for you!!! Ben Simmons scored 15 points, grabbed six boards, dished out four dimes, stole two, and blocked two. I don’t care. The 76ers lost 94-118 to the Cavs.

Kevin Love played nine minutes before exiting due to a calf injury. Shocker. The Cavs are dummy heads because they played him 38 minutes the night before when he was on a “minutes restriction.” Love hurts, literally and figuratively.

Andre Drummond

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 14 3 3 2 1 0 11/18 2/4

In 26 minutes! Imagine if the 76ers didn’t suck.

LaMarcus Aldridge

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 4 1 0 2 2 0/2 2/7 0

Only played 20 minutes. No injury. No foul trouble. LMAO!

DeMar DeRozan

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 3 10 0 1 2 0/4 3/12 2/2

I knew the regression was coming for Double-D, but I didn’t think it would come back like that!

Keldon Johnson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 11 5 1 2 2 2/5 5/10 2/2

Dayam. This Johnson has risen and looks to remain that way. He’s providing a little something something in every category and is averaging 30.4 minutes per game. Pop has a hard on for him. So should you.

Rudy Gay

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 6 2 2 2 1 2/8 9/20 2/2

Too many twos. Help me!!! Gay turned back the clock and went old school with this performance. He even played 28 minutes, which shouldn’t be expected on the regular. He averaged 21.8 mpg last season. Now, he did play some small-ball center and is averaging 25.4 mpg this season. Does this coincide with LMAO!? I doubt it but something to monitor.

Brandon Ingram

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 11 6 0 1 3 2/5 9/23 8/10

He was once a kid with a lanky frame, broken jump shot, and marijuana-induced eyes. Now, he’s a bonafide superstar in the league. I feel like my baby is all grown up now.

Zion Williamson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 11 0 5 1 1 0/1 7/22 4/7

Taking the five-finger discount literally! We know he’s going to score and board. We thought the defensive stats would be there but had trepidations. Well, it looks like the volcano is slowly building pressure with squirts of lava seeping out. Are we going to get an explosion? That would be huge for his overall value. I guess he could be like Drummond with poor free throw shooting and no tres.

Eric Bledsoe

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 2 0 1 1 1 1/5 3/11 0

He Bledsoe so people could buy low on him. He’s not going to shoot 33% from the field and 50% from the line all season.

Lonzo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 8 5 5 0 2 1/5 7/14 1/2

37 minutes and another five-finger discount! LiAngelo taught little bro well. It’s amazing how much different and beautiful his shooting stroke looks now. Ball is going to be so good because the IQ and awareness are off the charts. If he can shoot and score, then watch out. With that said, he’s shooting 41% from the field. Baby steps.

Josh Hart

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 10 0 0 0 0 1/2 3/6 5/5

Played 33 minutes off the bench. Hart gets minutes, as he’s averaging 29.4 on the season and we know that’s half the battle. Yo, Joe! He’s strictly a tres, boards, and steals guy, though.

Aaron Gordon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 6 0 0 0 0 0/1 1/4 2/2

Only played 20 minutes as the Magic are limiting his minutes on back-to-backs.

Shrug GIFs | Tenor

Markelle Fultz

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 2 2 1 0 2 2/3 11/21 2/2

Fultz is a top 80 player for fantasy. I love to see it. He’s providing a ton of points, some boards, dimes, and steals. The percentages are excellent as well. Just don’t expect many tres or blocks.

Terrence Ross

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 1 0 1 0 2 4/7 7/15 8/8

In 31 minutes off the bench. Ross has continued to satisfy his customers with the inventory, but know that it will run out at some point. Not for good, but it takes time to restock the shelves.

Raul Neto

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 4 5 3 0 2 2/8 10/17 0

Got the start because Russell Westbrook was sitting due to the back-to-back and played 32 minutes. Trade Westbrook!

Deni Avdija

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 9 3 2 0 1 1/5 4/11 0

Continues to start and played 36 minutes. In the prior two games, Avdija only attempted two shots in each game, so it was encouraging to see him hoist up 11 shots. Now, having no Westbrook helped but his usage rate wasn’t going to remain a laughable 6% all season. He’s starting, getting a ton of minutes, looks comfortable out there, and will continue to develop. Not fantasy viable, though. At least not yet.

Spencer Dinwiddie

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 4 3 0 0 0 1/2 2/4 0

Only played 15 minutes because he suffered a knee injury. The extent of it is not known, but he was able to walk off the court by himself, albeit with a limp. It will be interesting to see how Nash configures the rotation as he may want to keep LeVert running the second unit.

PJ Washington

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 12 5 2 0 3 0/2 6/16 2/6

Played 35 minutes, but left the game with a sprained ankle. Washington is a 1/1/1 player who will grab boards and score some points. The efficiency has been the main culprit to his struggles, as he’s shooting 39% from the field and 50% from the line. He’s normally 45% from the field and 64% from the line.

Gordon Hayward

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 6 7 1 0 0 2/3 12/20 2/2

I told y’all that Michael Gordon loves his new superstar, Jordan Hayward. A simple name change fix was all it took. Hayward is a top 20 player right now. It’s been three games!!! Top 40-50 is a feasible outcome.

Bismack Biyombo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 6 1 0 1 1 0 5/6 2/4

Continues to start and played 30 minutes. He’s getting a ton of run and doing what Biyombo do. Board. Block. And Brick free throws.

Kevin Durant 

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 3 4 0 1 3 5/7 9/15 6/9

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 3 6 1 0 4 3/8 10/17 2/2

Yawn. These are great lines for normal players but we’ve witnessed so much greatness from both that we are numb to these outings. We need amazing. I didn’t write up either at first because I was like meh, especially since the Nets lost to the Hornets 104-106, but then I slapped myself in the face and screamed, “You better recognize!!!”

Kawhi Leonard did not play due to the mouth laceration. In his place was Luke Kennard, who shot 3-of-11 from the field and contributed 2 boards, 1 dime, and 1 steal. The Clippers got smoked, 73-124 by the Mavericks. No stat boxes for you!!! Paul George scored 15 points, grabbed 2 boards, and dished out 4 dimes. He shot 4-of-13 from the field.

Josh Richardson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 3 2 1 0 0 4/8 8/13 1/1

My RichardSON!!! He’s a top 45 player in three games to start the season. The steals have ticked up, but he’s also contributing more tres. The field goal percentage is at 52% after languishing in the 43% range the past few years. The product of playing alongside Luka. Speaking of Luka….

Luka Doncic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 9 8 1 0 2 0/5 8/18 8/9