The NBA is a heart-stopping, fist-pumping, high-fiving, chemical-imbalance-inducing procreator of basketball nirvana. The squeak of the shoes, talk of the trash, swish of the nets, and thunder of dunks fill our ears with melodic harmony. We gawk at the freakishness of the giants who jump like fleas and midgets who careen around defenders like a cheetah about to catch lunch. We mental masturbate over pick-and-rolls, alley-oops, Euro-steps, and ICE defense. Bascially, the NBA is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnntastic! Now, what happens when you combine the NBA with MMA? You get elbowing, pushing, eye gouging, headlocks, and submissions…..which is exactly what happened last night in, coincidentally, the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia. Karl-Anthony Towns (meow) and Joel Embiid got tangled up, started shoving each other, then went sumo style to the ground. Benches emptied, players sprinted, and Ben Simmons ended up with the fatality….
I don’t condone violence, but it’s refreshing to see things actually going down; instead of the “hold me back” shenanigans. Anyways, both KAT and Embiid were ejected and will likely get some sort of suspension. You know what never gets ejected or suspended, and will always be there for you? Beep. Boop. Bop. The Stocktonator. Ben Simmons as well. Probably a bunch of other players for leaving the bench. The main thing I took away from the whole fracas, though, was that KAT is truly a different animal this season. Not only has he taken his game to the next level, but he’s showing that he has some…..dog in him.
Here’s what else I saw last night:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 0/2 | 7/13 | 2/3 |
Randle is a dub-dub machine and an excellent passer, as he’s messed around six times in his career. The lack of defensive stats and threes keep his value down, but he will provide plenty of points, boards, and dimes. Currently, he’s the #206 player, but should settle somewhere in the 100 area.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 9 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1/4 | 4/11 | 0/2 |
Got the start at point guard because Dennis Smith Jr. and Elfrid Payton were out. The inefficient shooting was more of what I expected from Barrett this season, but he’s defied all my expectations so far. The Magic play excellent defense so I wouldn’t be too alarmed. One game does not make a trend.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 4/6 | 4/4 |
In 19 minutes! Checks Twitter. Checks Rotoworld. Nope, no injuries. Looks at box score. Only 1 foul. Hmmmph. Types in….who is Knicks coach into the Google machine. Got it.
Frank Ntilikina
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 7 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1/3 | 3/8 | 0 |
Played 29 minutes off the bench. He still can’t shoot but plays good defense. I think he has a ton of potential, especially after watching him defeat the US over the summer. Fizdale is a bobo.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 15 | 11 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3/6 | 6/13 | 0 |
Finally! A good game by Gordon. Yes, it was against New York, but beggars can’t be choosers at this stage of the game. Gotham is based on New York, so it makes sense that Commissioner Gordon makes an appearance against the Knicks.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 13 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2/4 | 8/17 | 3/4 |
We were getting worried there for a bit, and there were intense discussions of moving Tesla ahead of Vucevic in the Nikola pantheon. Last night’s performance simmered the conversation.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 7 | 4 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 0/1 | 4/6 | 2/2 |
The defensive stats are what you drafted Isaac for, and he delivers every night. We want the cake and ice cream, though, which is contributions on offense. The usage rate was 12.7 last night and he hasn’t had a number over 19 yet this season, so ceiling games will be few and far between, but did you see those dimes? Probably an outlier but a good sign nonetheless. It’s early, but Isaac is a top 25 player for fantasy right now.
Terrence Ross
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 2 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 1/10 | 0 |
Ross is a discount store for a reason. I still like going there, as great bargains will be found, and once in a while, a whoa moment will occur. Just remember what Ross is and you’ll be fine.
Talking about a whoa moment, the Rockets defeated the Wizards, 159-158.
WHOA!!!!
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 59 | 3 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 6/14 | 18/32 | 17/18 |
It was only a matter of time. This is why James gets me Harden excited. Beep. Boop. Bop. The Stocktonator has smoke emanating from it’s vents because it had Harden as the #1 player last night.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 10 | 12 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 1/5 | 7/16 | 2/4 |
It truly was a good day. Russ messed around, while Harden dropped 59 out of 159 for a 1 point victory. But guys? How you gonna give up 158 to the Washington Gener….I mean Wizards. That’s like getting fired on your day off.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 12 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 9/13 | 3/7 |
C & C Music Factory made us dance once again last night. The field goal percentage has been excellent and the blocks are at 2.7 for the season. With that said, the free throw shooting is still atrocious and the boards and minutes are light from last year. Those should get ramped up soon.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 13 | 12 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 0/1 | 5/10 | 3/4 |
I love Bryant. Always have since he was a Laker. Dude plays his ass off and is now showing what he can do with the opportunity. Why the F did the Lakers get rid of him? I’m sad now. And they just waived him without getting any compensation. I’m about to storm Staples Center. Bryant can literally do it all; score, board, dish out dimes, shoot from downtown, and provide good percentages from both the field and line.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3/3 | 9/15 | 2/2 |
The kid can score and provide tres with a smattering of boards. He won’t provide much else, though.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 46 | 6 | 8 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 7/12 | 14/20 | 11/12 |
Played a team-high 41 minutes. The Beal was sumptuous last night. Unfortunately, just a tad overcooked.
Davis Bertans
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/9 | 7/10 | 1/1 |
Played 27 minutes off the bench. Guess which team gives up the most three-point attempts per game. Yup, the Houston Rockets at 43.7. Guess what Bertans does well. Yup, stroke it from downtown. That’s what they call a match made in heaven.
Isaiah Thomas
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 2 | 10 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2/4 | 6/11 | 3/3 |
Played 24 minutes off the bench. It’s only a matter of time before the IT guy gets promoted to the floor. Not such a bold statement considering Ish Smith is the starter. Ok, that was a little hyperbole because there are injury concerns with Thomas and Smith will play, but IT is going to get busy while he plays and, while he won’t get 30 minutes a game, he will do damage with minutes in the low-20s.
Anthony Tolliver
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 6 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2/4 | 2/5 | 0 |
Played 26 minutes and continues to start for the injured Zach Collins. He’s a low usage player, but is a veteran who will contribute a little something something across the board.
Hassan Whiteside
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 12 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4/9 | 4/6 |
Numerologists across the world descended upon Mt. Whiteside to pay homage. There was a scare, as Hassan limped to the locker room with a left knee issue, but he played in the second half. Something to monitor.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 7 | 13 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4/9 | 7/19 | 5/6 |
Y’all know what time it is….
Never gets old. Dame Dolla; shot caller, shot maker, definitely ain’t a faker. Currently the #7 player for fantasy. Holla!
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 7 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 2/5 | 3/4 |
Played 21 minutes off the bench. Got some extra run due to the injuries to Collins and Whiteside. I’ve never been a fan of Skal, but he does have some potential and can fill the stat sheet. Not sure he gets the minutes to be fantasy viable, but someone to keep an eye on.
Nerlens Noel
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 15 | 14 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 6/7 | 3/4 |
Got the start for the injured Steven Adams and did not disappoint. When he plays, Noel is a stud. He just doesn’t play enough. Now, if the injury to Adams lingers or he gets traded, then rejoice and exalt his name.
Hamidou Diallo
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 10 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5/9 | 2/4 |
Hamidou did. In 20 minutes. He’s averaging 18.3 minutes on the season, but could see a bump, as Terrance Ferguson has not been good.
PJ Washington
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 8 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2/3 | 10/13 | 1/2 |
Everything Washington was golden last night. PJ played 36 minutes and should continue to eat. Don’t fret the lack of stocks, as he usually contributes in those cats.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 15 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0/1 | 6/14 | 0 |
Ho hum. Just another dub-dub for Zeller with five dimes to boot! He’s a top 50 player right now and should maintain that value as long as he stays healthy, which is a big ask.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 22 | 5 | 6 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3/6 | 7/15 | 5/7 |
Who is this masked man shooting the ball well? Did Halloween come a day early?
Dwayne Bacon
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1/4 | 1/8 | 0 |
Sizzling Bacon is such a treat. Unfortunately, this Bacon provides unwanted cholesterol more often than not. He’s a career 42% shooter from the field and 36% from downtown, but so far this season, Bacon is shooting 36% from the field and 25% from downtown.
Devonte’ Graham
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 5 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2/5 | 4/7 | 2/2 |
Played 31 minutes off the bench after playing 32 the prior game. He’s dished out 9 and 12 dimes the past two games and scored double figures in four of five games this year. He’s a top 60 player right now and the answer to your question is yes.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 9 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 8/10 | 1/2 |
Got the start and played 35 minutes.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 7 | 10 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 1/5 | 6/16 | 3/3 |
Fox has started the season slowly, as he’s barely a top 200 player, but things will turn around. Last night was a good start. The high turnovers and poor field goal percentage are concerns, though.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 7/16 | 8/22 | 0 |
Led the Kings in shot attempts and points. As with Fox, the shooting efficiency has been piss poor to start the season. Any wonder why the Kings are 0-5. Besides Luke Walton being a shit coach. Because Hield doesn’t contribute much outside of points and tres, if he’s not shooting well, his value is flushed down the toilet.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2/11 | 4/14 | 2/3 |
Did the Kings hire a new shooting coach or something? Bog played 26 minutes off the bench and is the main guy for the second unit. Unlike Buddy, he does contribute a little something something in the periphery cats.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 29 | 8 | 4 | 0 | 3 | 2/4 | 11/18 | 5/6 |
Led the Pacers in scoring and is a beast down low. Arvydas would be proud. The percentages are excellent, he’s pulling down boards, and even draining a few from downtown. Just don’t expect much in the way of defensive stats. Now, Myles Turner left the game with an ankle injury, so Sabonis could see more usage.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 7 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1/1 | 3/5 | 0 |
Only played 10 minutes due to the aforementioned ankle injury. Severity is not yet known.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0/1 | 0 |
The binary line!!! Been a long time. Anyways, Goga played nine minutes due to the Myles injury. He could see more playing time as a result. Watching tape of Goga, I understand why the Pacers drafted him. He’s a skilled big man that can shoot from downtown, finish strong around the basket, be an effective rim runner, and pass well.
Jeremy Lamb
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 25 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3/7 | 11/19 | 0/2 |
Returned from injury and played 34 minutes. He’s baa baaa baaaaaack.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 8 | 13 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 1/5 | 7/19 | 6/6 |
Brogdon is the #6 player for fantasy right now, as he’s averaging a whopping 11.3 dimes per game!!! Add on 22 points, 5.3 boards, 1.5 steals, and 95% from the free throw line, and you have a Malcolm that is far from the middle.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 8 | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3/7 | 2/4 |
Boards and blocks are what this DJ spin. He played 23 minutes, which is where he will land most games.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 28 | 7 | 6 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2/6 | 11/20 | 4/5 |
The #2 player for fantasy right now. Kyrie………….
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 2 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 1/5 | 7/17 | 5/6 |
Played 27 minutes off the bench. He’s the primary scorer for the second unit and is a solid source of points. The seven dimes were nice but not something to count on every night.
Kawhi Leonard did not play due to load management. He had to spend the night plugged into the matrix so that the new OS could be uploaded in his preparation for the Spurs coming to town on Friday.
Lou Williams
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 24 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 1/3 | 9/17 | 5/7 |
Got the start and played 28 minutes. With no Kawhi or Paul George on the court, Lou has a usage rate over 32!
JaMychal Green
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 5/6 | 8/11 | 2/2 |
Played 27 minutes off the bench and was the only other Clipper besides Lou to score over 20 points. He’s shooting 60% from the field. Yeah….Outside of scoring, tres, and some boards, Green doesn’t contribute much. When the Clippers are healthy, he’s couterfeit money.
Montrezl Harrell
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5/9 | 0 |
Was in foul trouble. Combine that with the Stiffel Tower being open to the public, then it was a bad, bad night for Montrezl.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 29 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 5/8 | 11/17 | 2/2 |
He wasn’t going to shoot 10% or whatever the putrid number was for the entire season. I saw a lot of crazy trades involving Conley. This is why the beginning of the season produces the most opportunity, as emotions run high and people act on them.
Suns blotted out the Pacifists, 121-110. The game wasn’t even that close.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 9 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 1 | 2/5 | 7/15 | 0 |
Mario with the D actually delivered the D!!!! He started and played 31 minutes, a role that he’s locked into. Dario wasn’t shooting well to begin the season, but he’s a career 36% from downtown, so it was only a matter of time.
Aron Baynes
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 24 | 13 | 7 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 2/8 | 9/18 | 4/5 |
AB see D out of the room? Yeah right, but Baynes has been great filling in for Ayton. Points, boards, dimes, blocks, and tres. What more could you ask for?
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 31 | 4 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 6/10 | 10/21 | 5/5 |
Yawn. Just a thirty-point game. No biggie.
Steph Curry
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 9 | 5 | 6 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 1/7 | 3/11 | 2/2 |
Only played 21 minutes due to injury, after he fell down and Baynes landed on his arm. The diagnosis is a broken left hand. Might as well tank, get healthy, and try for the #1 pick.
Marquese Chriss DNP-CD. Thank God.
The Pacifists started Draymond Green Eric Paschall, Glenn Robinson III, Steph Curry, and D’Angelo Russell. Yuck.
Eric Paschall
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 7/9 | 6/6 |
Played 38 minutes and could be in line for more starts. Omari Spellman played 22 minutes while Willie Cauley-Stein played 12 minutes.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 22 | 14 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 0/2 | 8/13 | 6/10 |
Lack of tres and free throws are his weaknesses. Speaking of free throws….
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3/6 | 10/15 | 3/3 |
Led the Bucks in scoring. Middleton won’t contribute the D, but his YMCA game will always deliver points and tres.
Gordon Hayward
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 10 | 7 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 3/6 | 9/17 | 0 |
Played 38 minutes and is slowly returning to form. Will he ever be the top 35 player from the Utah days? Probably not, but top 50-60 is feasible.
Kemba Walker
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 32 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4/11 | 7/19 | 14/15 |
Houston is first in number of three-point attempts allowed. Milwaukee is second. A good matchup for Kemba and he delivered.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 19 | 4 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5/11 | 7/16 | 0 |
Got the start and played 38 minutes, as Jaylen Brown did not play due to sickness. For those of you who played Marcus, you Smart.
Interestingly, outside of the center position, the rest of the Celtics all played at least 38 minutes. Only three bench players received 10+ minutes, and they were all big men.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 22 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 10/17 | 1/2 |
Just another 20/20 game for Dre, who has 34 in his career. Only 634 more to catch Wilt.
Derrick Rose
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0/2 | 7/12 | 2/2 |
Played 21 minutes off the bench. This is the Rose line; points and dimes with nothing else.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 30 | 5 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 3/6 | 13/21 | 1/1 |
P. S. – He’s not only good, he’s amazing. Shoutout to the commenter who was standing up for the P. S.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 13 | 8 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 1/2 | 6/10 | 0 |
The Force is strong in this one. OG is averaging 34.8 minutes per game and is top 25 player at the moment. It’s all about the steals and blocks, but he’s contributing tres, boards, and excellent field goal percentage.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 13 | 1 | 11 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/3 | 5/9 | 2/2 |
Continues to start and play well. He’s a top 35 player right now and is averaging 7.2 dimes per game. And he’s contributing 2.4 tres, 4 boards, 1.4 steals, and shooting 95% from the line. The field goal percentage is shit, though. And not the good, clean, hot dog-looking kind. I’m talking about the wet, green, chunky….ok, I’ll stop now.
Otto Porter Jr.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 15 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1/2 | 5/10 | 4/5 |
Played 27 minutes. Slowly, but surely, things will come around.
The Bulls had a player score 14 points, two players with 15, and two with 16 points. No one else touched double digits.
Tomas Satoransky
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 8 | 2 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2/2 | 2/5 | 2/2 |
Played 27 minutes. 8 is the luckiest number for Chinese, and 2 is also a lucky number so…..I’m searching for anything here, man.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 20 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 1/3 | 6/10 | 4/5 |
Providing points, boards, dimes, and tres on the reg. Currently, Love is a top 20 player. What are we setting the O/U at for when he gets injured?
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 10 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 11/19 | 1/3 |
Played a team-high 35 minutes and has logged four straight dub-dubs. What the F has gotten into him? Logs onto Spotrac.com and sees that it’s a contract year…..Well, okay then. Whatever it takes, but I’m along for the ride Mr. Kardashian. Is he still a part of that crew? I try not to keep up with them.
