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The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. 

For those without kids, that’s Branch in “Trolls” overreacting because he’s scared of success (and friendship), just like so many fantasy basketball players will overreact to the first couple games, when regular bench rotations guys will be proclaimed breakouts of the season, and busts will be said to abound as the rust gets knocked off the boots. 

However, while we definitely don’t want to overreact, let’s remember: Branch ended up being right. You don’t want to be caught with that average penny stock and telling yourself, “any day now, it’s gunna go crazy!” [Checks portfolio, sighs with depression, gets back to basketball.] Keep an eye on minutes, rotations and usage more than the general stat lines in these early going. 

And with that piece of nonsensical advice, let’s get on with the show! Here’s what caught my eye in the 12 games of the unofficial official opening night in The Association.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

20 years ago, UPS had an ad campaign with the slogan, “What can Brown do for you?” 

Brown says: Make your life easier

Brown tells me that you have all the choices you want

Brown says to me: Get your shipments to your customers, when they need it and where they need it

Brown says: Relax, we’ll get it done

Brown says: How about some more pie?

Brown didn’t say that

What a stupid ass commercial but it serves our purpose today because Jaylen Brown freaking delivered the goods on Sunday.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We live in a football-crazed society. Some high school stadiums are multi-million dollar colosseums while the Super Bowl is the most watched program on television. How can a sport that has a chain gang determine first downs and differentiates whether the clock stops or not when a player is out of bounds be that popular? I kid. I get it. The barbarism and feats of athleticism are unrivaled. The NBA is no dumb organization. They are probably the best at marketing and incorporating technology into it’s ecosystem. As a result, they scheduled only two games on Sunday, and those games ended well before the start of the Super Bowl. Here’s a quickie that hopefully satisfies:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last night I was able to test out a new Seuss-style story during my kids’ bedtime:

“An Ant-man with cool fluffy hair, who went the nation’s capital and let it rain from behind the arch. He was hitting ‘em on the pull up. He was hitting ‘em on the spot up. He nailed 3s on the swing. He nailed 3s on the run. He hit 3s from the corner, at the top. He created a skookum of 3s like it was a skookum of tallywade  ….”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was high on Precious Achiuwa in the offseason, as he showed flashes at the end of last season, both offensively and defensively. He improved his shooting and was able to make it rain from downtown. In addition, he exhibited the ability to make life difficult for Joel Embiid while also being able to switch on the perimeter against guards. Most importantly, though, Nick Nurse spoke glowingly about him over the summer, commenting on his work ethic and finally “getting it.” Then the season started, and it didn’t go as planned. He had two monster games while playing over 33 minutes in each, but after that, was relegated to playing in the teens. To stick a rusty knife into my belly, Achiuwa then succumbed to injury and missed the next 24 games. My Precious once had bling that blinded the eyes, but now was as dull as my jokes. Upon returning to action, he was once again playing in the teens, but slowly but surely, the playing time increased. Christian Koloko was sent down to the G League and my Precious began to glisten once again. Over the last five games, he received 28, 21, 26, 21 and 37 minutes, starting in the most recent contest and putting up 17 points, 11 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals and 2 blocks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to 2023 and the near halfway mark of the season.

In many fantasy circles there exists some false belief that the NBA trade deadline is in some way the mid- point of the season. The fact is the NBA trade deadline is closer to being two thirds into the season when you factor in the week off for All-Star break. My point being, the earlier you can complete a trade the better it can be for your team as it allows more time to generate the stats you need. This is especially true for rotisserie category leagues as the stats accumulate over the course of the entire season.

So, do not be afraid to get a little aggressive over the next few weeks to secure that player or players you believe will best suit your team. It is time to get in the zone.

“That’s that north-north, that up top….That OVO and that XO”

Please, blog, may I have some more?