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G – General Audiences. PG – Parental Guidance Suggested. PG-13 – Parents Strongly Cautioned. R – Restricted. NC-17 – Adults Only. Then it jumps to XXX. Unfortunately, this is not a category for Xander Cage, but more of the Pornhub variety. That’s obviously NSFW. Well, we need to have a new category thanks to Paul George. PG NSFW.

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4712102028/1315/269/11

Children can still watch because there is no nudity or violence, but his performances have been NSFW because he’s been turning defenders into mush. Like the scorpion who injects venom into its prey and liquifies the insides. Plus, all the hooting, hollering, and people trying to copy his moves in the workplace is not safe. Man, I’m still so sad that PG is not a Laker. As you’ll see later, too much crying for me in one post. Anyways, PG has been freaking unbelievable this season. He’s the #3 player for fantasy, and he’s been there consistently all season long. Over the past six games, he’s the #2 player!!! The usage rate has been 33 and he’s been averaging 23 shot attempts, 38 points, 5,8 tres, 6.8 boards, 2.8 dimes, and 2.3 steals. His performance has been porn for his owners all season long.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

 

Russell Westbrook

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2114111261/65/1910/13

This was supposed to be Westbrook’s night, as he now holds the record for most consecutive trip-dubs at 10, surpassing Wilt Chamberlain, but PG had other ideas.

Raymond Felton

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15112003/56/100

Played 21 minutes because Dennis Schroder (personal) did not play. Prior to last night, Felton last played 11 minutes on December 30th.

Deonte Burton

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18000303/57/91/2

Played 26 minutes off the bench. He had received 10, 2, and 3 minutes of run the prior three games.

Damian Lillard

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31762143/89/2210/11

Top 10 player over the past five games. Y’all know my love for Lillard, but a win or better efficiency is the only way to unlock Dame Dolla.

Jake Layman

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17410402/35/75/8

Played 28 minutes off the bench. What’s a man gotta do to get some love around these parts? Over the past five games, Layman has been a top 60 player, providing points, tres, boards, and blocks. He’s also been shooting 59% from the field.

Joe Harris

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24240017/87/93/3

Joe was anything but average, as he played 30 minutes and shot the lights out. For the season, he’s been solid contributer in points, tres, boards, and dimes. He won’t provide the D, but he plays over 30 minutes and jacks up 12 shots per games.

D’Angelo Russell

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287141042/710/226/8

Played a team-high 34 minutes. The efficiency isn’t always pretty, but the usage rate is over 30 and he provides everything but blocks.

Allen Crabbe

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22311026/108/130

Played 31 minutes off the bench. How many times have we thrown this Crabbe back into the ocean? Since returning from injury, he’s played 13, 21, and 31 minutes. Crabbe is a tres specialist, but provides some steals as well.

Serge Ibaka

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181211200/29/130

IBLOCKA HAS RETURNED!!!! Those virgins I sacrified were indeed virgins after all. Got the start and played 26 minutes.

Marc Gasol

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16621121/17/91/2

Played 22 minutes off the bench. Hmmmm, since being acquired by Toronto, Gasol has played 19 and 22 minutes. Nick Nurse said that he’s going to experiment with lineups, so we need to assess when new information comes to light. Regardless, what a luxury the Raptors have and look how deep they are. That’s good for their team, but not so good for fantasy owners.

Kawhi Leonard

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30281031/510/209/9

See. I. Am. Human. I. Laugh. Ha. Ha. I. Cry. Sob. Sob. I. Still. Do. Not. Understand. The. Kardashians. Does. Not. Compute. Does. Not. Compute.

Over the past five games, Kawhi has been a top 50 player, but is top 5 on the season.

Patrick McCaw

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13312001/45/92/2

Played 20 minutes because Fred VanVleet was out.

Speaking of Fred VanVleet, he’s out for at least three weeks due to a thumb injury. The Raptors signed Jeremy Lin, so he will likely soak up most of the backup point guard minutes.

I just cried watching that clip. Please Lord, make Linsanity Part Deux a thing. Outside of getting married and being blessed with two children, that three week stretch was the most memorable. I’m balling right now and my wife just walked by and started shaking her head. IDC. IDC. IDC.

Marvin Williams

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51132001/62/100

Starvin’ Marvin has been a top 50 player over the past seven games. 31.8 minutes, 12.7 points, 2.1 tres, 5.1 boards, 1 dime, 1.1 steals, and 0.9 blocks.

Cody Zeller

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18910100/16/116/9

Got the start and played 35 minutes. Since returning from injury, Zeller had played 23, 25, and 26 minutes prior to last night. Zeller will provide points, boards, some dimes, and a sprinkling of D stats. The efficiency from both the field and line are normally good. The on/off numbers for Kemba Walker are much better with Zeller on the court, so it would make sense for Borrego to continue giving him most of the center run.

Kemba Walker

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34932034/1210/2310/12

Since Zeller entered the lineup, Kemba has been the #4 player for fantasy.

Myles Turner

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18813302/36/104/4

Led the team in minutes, points, and blocks. Over the past eight games, Myles has been a top 10 player!!! The Myles experience has been an interesting one this season. There was anguish early on, which required us to walk 500 Myles and face adversity, but now we have reached a level of enlightenment.

Wesley Matthews

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8530012/72/102/2

Got the start and played 30 minutes. He should continue getting minutes and jacking up shots. The issue is the shooting efficiency. On the season, the number is 40% from the field, but over the past four games it’s been 30%, and the last two games it’s been 19%. If you can handle that, then Wes can provide some boards and dimes. The definition of a volume play.

Montrezl Harrell

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1812611107/104/7

Played 35 minutes off the bench, while Ivica Zubac (3/1/1) got the start and only played 15 minutes. Sontrezl approves of Montrezl’s play.

Lou Williams

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45141073/813/2516/16

Sweet Lou!!! Played 34 minutes off the bench. Over the past seven games, Lou has been a top 70 player, averaging 18.3 shots and garnering a usage rate of 36!!!

Dario Saric

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19822014/57/111/1

Mario with a D finally got the start and played 33 minutes. Taj Gibson played 21 minutes and scored 14 points. Hopefully, this change is a permanent one.

Luol Deng

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12912000/25/102/4

Got the start and played 38 minutes because Andrew Wiggins (illness) was out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA! 38 minutes. Deng! I honestly thought he was working in the NBA headquarters as an ambassador.

Karl-Anthony Towns

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241022050/17/1110/12

Only playe 27 minutes due to foul trouble. meow. Thank goodness for Deng!!!

Jeff Teague

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194101011/16/156/7

Played 35 minutes. Teague had played 17 minutes the prior game, after missing eight games due to injury. Teague mainly provides dimes, but will chip in some steals, boards, and tres.

Derrick Rose

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22161110/29/184/5

Played 25 minutes in his return, after missing three games due to injury. It’s all about health for Rose. When he’s on the court, he’s ging to jack up shots and produce.

Kelly Olynyk

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11722221/64/132/2

Got the start and played 28 minutes. Olynyk has actually started the past four games. Shrug emoji. I have no idea what Spoelstra is going to do and he will flip the script without a moment’s notice. As for Olynyk, he’s a stretch big who can provide some tres and boards.

Hassan Whiteside 

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68010003/70/2

Got the start but only played 20 minutes. Shrug emoji. Please re-read Olynyk’s blurb.

Bam Adebayo

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25110101/40

Played 19 minutes off the bench. No clue emoji.

Dion Waiters

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11360013/64/90/2

Another start and played 30 minutes. He’s played 30, 41, and 32 minutes the past three games. The plane boss! The plane! Waiters Island is now officially open.

James Johnson

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14621312/55/92/2

Played 27 minutes off the bench. He’s actually been a top 100 player over the past four games. Are we falling for the banana in the tailpipe again?

Rodney McGruder

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81000010/23/52/2

Played 21 minutes off the bench. It seems like only yesterday when I wrote up a fun lede on McGruder. Life comes at you fast.

Mason Plumlee

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118303205/61/2

Got the start and played 31 minutes.

Paul Millsap 

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91012221/44/90

Played 20 minutes off the bench. Millsap is returning from an ankle injury, so the Nuggets will likely keep Plumlee in the starting lineup and bring Millsap along slowly. The All-Star break is this weekend so no need to push him.

Nikola Jokic

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231240073/37/166/7

Didn’t mess around. What a Jokic! Top 10 player on the season. That’s some serious production.

Malik Beasley

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20020004/67/122/2

Continues to start and played 28 minutes. Gary Harris is likely out until after the All-Star break, so Beasley should continue starting. Even when Harris returns, Beasley will still get run and provide offensive punch off the bench.

Monte Morris

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17371002/47/111/1

Played 28 minutes off the bench. Even with the return of Jamal Murray, Morris is still getting run. The coaches love him. He can score and run the offense, while taking good care of the ball.

Luka Doncic

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211080052/97/175/9

Aaaaaaaalmost messed around. There must be a disburance in the Force. Doncic is playing a ton of minutes (close to 34), but the shooting efficiency has been suspect as of late (39% over the past four games). The tres, boards, and dimes are there, but the minimal contributions in the D cats and poor efficiency have him top 200 over the past couple of weeks.

Trey Burke

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8031020/13/52/2

Played 20 minutes off the bench. Since arriving in Dallas, Burke has played 4, 27, 17, and 20 minutes. With J. J. Barea done for the season, Burke should be the guy behind Jalen Brunson and g.

Kenneth Faried

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178111107/83/4

You know you’ve done something right when people give you the nickname: The Manimal.

Chris Paul

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172112005/105/122/2

Played 29 minutes. Paul has been a top 20 player since returning from injury. After the All-Star break, I’d expect the minutes to tick up some more. Please stay healthy Chris. I want to all the squads at full strength so we can get an epic playoffs.

James Harden

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31875056/179/237/7

Since Paul returned to the lineup, the usage for Harden has come down. From 42 to 38!!! Translation: he’s going to continue balling the F out. He just won’t be Samson anymore.

Iman Shumpert

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6242012/72/80

Played 25 minutes. He’s shooting 37% from the field on the season. Unless he starts shooting better, I could see the minutes vanishing.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

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291780362/39/139/14

Over the past seven games, G has been the #4 player. He’s averaged 1.1 tres over that span! We know his contributions in literally every other cat, so if he starts draining tres, O….M…..G!!!!!

Lauri Markkanen

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201732011/76/217/7

Top 25 player over the past seven games. Markkanen is averaging 14 boards per game!!! He’s already a good one. I told y’all he had that dog in him. Me thinks he’s gonna be a great one. Hopefully, he can improve on the D contributions, though, but I’m just getting greedy now.

Robin Lopez

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17410120/18/131/2

Got the start and played 33 minutes. Is this what the Bulls consider a buy out?

Zach LaVine

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27571124/69/195/5

Played 36 minutes. That’s the kind of line I like to see. Over the past six games, LaVine has been a top 25 player. Is Brent a time traveler?

Otto Porter Jr. 

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18741032/47/142/2

Got the start and played 37 minutes. He’s a nice piece alongside Markkanen and LaVine, as Otto doesn’t need usage to be effective.

Trevor Ariza

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23752123/610/140/1

Played 40 minutes! Why is he on the Wizards?

Chasson Randle

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5110021/22/50

Got the start and played 19 minutes because Tomas Satoransky (personal) did not play. This is not a plug-and-play league.

Bradley Beal

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326102112/89/1912/12

Played a whopping 41 minutes! #11 player over the past eight games. I thought the usage rate would be higher, but it’s still a robust 28.7. The Wizards are one of only two teams to play 12 games during the fantasy playoffs. All the stars aligned for Beal this fantasy season.

Bobby Portis

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24512026/109/170/1

Played 32 minutes off the bench. Portis has been freed! Hallelujah!!

Blake Griffin

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31990024/1012/233/4

_lake is great for points, tres, boards, and dimes. He just has no interest in the D. As a result, he’s been producing top 120 value over the past seven games.

Andre Drummond

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321704110/112/198/10

Over the past seven games, Dre has been the #3 player!!! He’s been averaging 23 points, 15.6 boards, 1.4 dimes, 1.6 steals, and 2.4 blocks while shooting 69% from the field and 75% from the line!!! What scorcery is this?!

Luke Kennard

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15320004/64/73/3

Played 29 minutes off the bench after getting 29 minutes of run the prior game. Wayne Ellington played 19 minutes in his Pistons debut, so keep an eye how that situation works itself out.

Kevin Knox

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13630131/75/162/2

He’s a hucker. He’s a chucker. He’s a fantasy sucker. Knox is shooting 36% from the field.

DeAndre Jordan

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1210201205/72/2

Got the start and played 24 minutes.

Mitchell Robinson

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108112005/60/1

Played 24 minutes off the bench. The center minutes are split down the middle, which is a good thing for Robinson. As the tanking intensifies, there’s a good chance he starts to see more run. As it stands, he’s a top 60 player over the past six games, despite averaging only 21.2 minutes. 2.5 blocks is so lovely!

Kadeem Allen

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25361011/210/164/5

Played 32 minutes. Allen is on a 10-day contract. The last two games, he’s played 32 and 28 minutes, while jacking up 16 and 11 shots respectively. I respect the hustle.

Kevin Love

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14910032/64/104/4

Got the start and played 16 minutes. I don’t think Love gets full run this season, but the Cavs probably want to showcase him to move him in the offseason.

Larry Nance Jr.

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151641151/25/64/4

Got the start and played 34 minutes. Why they haven’t played him all season is beyond me. The numbers bear out that Nance plays better at center, than power forward, so keep an eye on that going forward.

Brandon Knight

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9320023/43/50

Got the start and played 16 minutes. Showcase Showdown. Come on down, you’re the next contestant on the Price is Right.

Collin Sexton

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20131012/87/214/5

I’m not a Sexton fan. Maybe if you take out the “ton” then I’d reconsider. The efficiency has been better lately (44%) and he’s been hoisting up 19 shots per game. With that said, he only contributes a triumverate of tres, boards, and dimes.

Marquese Chriss

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14711012/35/82/2

Played 22 minutes. The league should fine the Cavs for giving Chriss all this run. If that’s not blatant “Tryin’ for Zion,” then I don’t know what is.

Matthew Dellavedova

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12361010/35/102/3

Played 27 minutes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! The Cavs are trying to suck, but they can’t even  do that properly.