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I’m old enough to remember when # was something located at the bottom right of the phone dial pad. Geez, I’m old. I’m also old enough to remember when Stan was a person’s name. Now? It has a definition in the dictionary: an overzealous or obsessive fan of a particular celebrity. Shoutout to Eminem. That’s what you call influence. Anyways, Khloe Kardashian must be a Tristan, right? How about you? No?

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 16 4 0 1 3 0 9/12 1/3

How about now? Damn Tristan! He played 34 minutes and produced his third double-dub of the season. We all thought Larry Nance Jr. would be the man at center for the Cavaliers, yet he only played 14 minutes last night and has failed to reach the 20 minute mark in each of the past four games. If you need boards, Tristan is your guy. Just don’t expect much else and the free throw shooting is craptastic. I figured there wouldn’t be many other instances to stan for Tristan this season, and I’m an equal opportunity writer, so enjoy being a Tristan for a day.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

 

Cedi Osman

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 10 0 0 0 3 1/9 5/17 0

Oh, Cedi. I once dated a girl that was physically attactive. Shocking, I know. Everytime she laughed, though, it made me cringe as if someone played Fran Drescher on loop. But I kept coming back because she was hot. Cedi played a team-high 43 minutes last night and is averaging over 32 minutes per game for the season. He contributes in all categories except blocks, but….that field goal percentage. Coincidence that field goal percentage and Fran Drescher both start with the letter f? Me thinks not. Cedi gets too many minutes and contributes in too many categories to part ways.

George Hill

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 4 6 4 0 2 2/2 10/12 0

This must be the “feeling old” post. Did I enter a vortex in the universe that transported me to a worm hole where nostalgia reigns supreme? I just shook my head side-to-side like the Shake Weight. See! Nostalgia! Anyways, 10-for-12 from the field. If you think that’s happening again, then I do have a garage full of Shake Weights that are guaranteed to sculpt your arms like no other equipment can. The four steals? Hill had a total of six for the season (nine games).

Collin Sexton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 1 2 0 0 2 1/1 2/6 0

Played 17 minutes. There were “quotes” (actual quotes surrounding the word quotes – the universe is awesome) from members of the Cavs that said Collin can’t play. Uh, he’s a rookie guys. Anyways, we are truly in bizarro world. Thompson is the lede, George is not over the Hill, and the Cavs are trying to win, even though they stink and won’t be playing their youngsters because? Maybe I’m drunk, even though I don’t drink.

Jordan Clarkson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 0 1 1 0 1 3/6 5/10 1/1

Played 26 minutes. Andrew Wiggins smiling from ear-to-ear. My protoge he says.

JR Smith

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 4 3 2 1 1 2/3 5/9 2/2

Played 25 minutes. Andrew Wiggins shaking his head from side-to-side. Way too much contribution in the periphery cats.

Aaron Gordon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 9 3 0 0 1 3/4 9/15 2/2

Blake Griffin 2.0, right?

Nikola Vucevic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 10 1 1 2 2 1/2 6/13 1/2

On his way to another 1/1/1 season.

Wes Iwundu got the start at small forward for Jonathan Isaac. He played 13 minutes and doesn’t deserve a stat box.

Mohamed Bamba

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 6 1 1 1 0 0/2 3/7 0

Played 21 minutes and is averaging 20.6 for the season. Will the Magic….POOF….make Vucevic disappear to give Bamba more run?

Terrence Ross

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 2 1 1 0 3 3/9 6/14 0

Played 30 minutes after receiving 31 the prior game. He’s averaging over 12 shot attempts per game and will grab a handful of boards and assists with some steals. Stream-worthy, but know that he could get 18 minutes of run out of the blue.

Nikola Mirotic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 16 0 2 0 1 1/5 5/12 5/6

Entering last night’s game, Mirotic was 11th in rebounds per game at 10.9! He’s at 11.4 now. Don’t expect dimes or blocks, but steals and threeecolas should be plentiful. He’s the 17th player according to Basketball Monster. Beep. Boop. Bop. The Stocktonator loves catching the other appliciances on the rebound, so it makes sense that he was all over Mirotic last night.

Anthony Davis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 8 1 0 1 5 0/1 7/20 6/7

Probably still bothered by the elbow injury. Just feel blessed that he’s out there at all.

Wesley Johnson got the start and played 19 minutes. He’s still in the league? You know what no stat box means.

Jrue Holiday

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 4 14 0 1 6 1/6 8/13 5/7

Played 40 minutes. Holiday is always working.

Julius Randle

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 8 1 1 2 1 2/2 10/10 4/4

Perfection! Julius doesn’t need to watch his back for at least one night.

Paul George

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 6 8 4 0 1 4/10 6/17 7/7

That’s X-rated in some countries. Beep. Boop. Bop. Maybe that’s why the Stocktonator liked George last night. PG is prone to some less-than-optimal shooting nights, but he contributes in so many ways that his floor is super high. With news of Russell Westbrook injuring his ankle, PG could see his usage rate spike up.

Jerami Grant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 6 1 2 1 0 0/3 5/12 3/4

Played 31 minutes. This is his job and he should be productive. Grant will grab rebounds and provide the D, but he can also stretch the floor and put the ball in the bucket. Just don’t expect many dimes.

Russell Westbrook

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 9 1 0 6 0/2 6/16 5/8

Played 25 minutes, but left the game early after spraining his ankle. It didn’t look good, as he couldn’t put weight on it afterwards, but the severity has not been announced yet. Neither has the timetable. Dennis Schroder is the main beneficiary, but Paul George should see a usage bump.

Dennis Schroder

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 3 2 1 0 2 1/3 9/16 3/3

Played 24 minutes. Schroder should see more minutes and usage with the Westbrook injury. The field goal percentage is terrible, but he can provide points, rebounds, assists, and some steals.

OG Anunoby

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 1 0 2 0 1 3/5 7/13 0/1

Played 25 minutes. Only the second time OG has scored in double-figures. OG is a better real-life player than fantasy player. His D is excellent but he doesn’t accumulate the D stats.

Serge Ibaka

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 5 1 0 0 2 1/1 8/8 0

Only played 14 minutes. With Rudy Gobert on the other side, it made sense to give Jonas Valanciunas more run.

Kyle Lowry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 7 11 2 0 4 3/7 5/9 4/4

I’m putting him into Steph Curry-blurb stratosphere: He’s good. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Fred VanVleet

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 4 6 0 0 2 2/5 6/14 3/3

Played 28 minutes. Tied a season-high in minutes and looks to be back after missing four games due to injury. Will provide threeecolas, assists, and some boards.

Derrick Favors

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 10 1 3 2 1 0 4/6 3/4

Played 23 minutes. First game notching double-digit rebounds, although he’s had two games with nine. Points, rebounds, and blocks are what Favors provides. He just doesn’t get enough minutes (22.3 per game).

Joe Ingles

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 2 2 1 0 2 2/6 3/13 1/4

Played 32 minutes, but dislocated a finger on his right hand. Status is unknown at this time.

Ricky Rubio

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 3 9 1 0 1 0/4 1/10 6/6

Why did I just have flashes of Ben Simmons’s face? Yo Ben. This could be you if you don’t learn how to shoot. As for Rubio, the Rubio-metronome continues to operate, as it swings from side-to-side.

Donovan Mitchell did not start, so Royce O’Neale took his place and played 19 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 3 3 1 0 2 0/1 5/8 1/2

Not bad, but the main beneficiary of Mitchell not playing was….

Alec Burks

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 0 3 0 1 1 2/3 7/11 6/6

Played 27 minutes. He had missed four games with a hand injury, but Burks could be in-line for more run if both Mitchell and Ingles miss time. He had flashes last season when he received run. Can get his own shot and score, but won’t contribute much else outside of a handful of dimes.

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 5 5 3 1 2 4/6 13/17 1/1

Played 34 minutes. Everyone good? I’m sure there were a few doubters that are Flat-Earthers.

Nikola Jokic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 10 8 0 0 3 0 2/3 4/6

Where did all the shots go?

Jamal Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
48 5 4 0 0 5 5/11 19/30 5/5

Oh. That’s where they went. A career-high! Obviously a ceiling game, but remember that he also went 0-for-9 for 3 points against the Warriors a couple of weeks ago. He’s still only 21 years old, though! I’ve always been a fan of Murray, as he plays in a fantasy-friendly environment, can obviously score, but also provide rebounds, assists, steals, and threeecolas.

Juan Hernangomez

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 5 1 0 1 0 2/4 3/6 0

Started the second half after Torrey Craig only played 3 minutes and provided the ultimate breakfast bagel. With Barton still out and Craig a non-factor, there’s a chance Juancho gets some significant run.

Trey Lyles

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 3 2 0 2 1 3/7 4/10 2/2

Played 23 minutes, which is his problem. He just doesn’t get enough minutes. Which sucks because he can contribute in so many ways.

Wendell Carter Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 13 2 0 2 3 1/1 3/9 4/4

Only played 22 minutes due to fouling out. The Carter Administration is off to a fine start.

Zach LaVine

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
41 4 4 3 2 8 4/10 13/25 11/14

Played 49 minutes in a 2OT game. Damn. I guess I better start thinking of something special to do, since Brent’s prediction of #AllStar for LaVine is looking good. That poster on Brent’s wall is getting some good use tonight.

Noah Vonleh

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 11 1 1 2 4 1/2 3/10 3/4

See? Good things happen when he’s actually on the court, and not sitting on the bench due to foul trouble.

Allonzo Trier

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 3 1 2 1 2 2/4 5/15 9/9

That’s when you know you’ve made it, when RotoWear creates a shirt for you. Trier got the start and played 42 minutes. He can shoot and will provide some D stats. Since the Knicks are in youth mode, Trier could get significant run.

Kevin Knox played 5 minutes in his return from injury. Good to see him back, but it’s going to take time for him to get back up to speed.

Mario Hezonja

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 6 2 1 1 3 1/5 6/18 2/3

Played 36 minutes! Did Super Mario give Fizdale a magic mushroom? As Knox gets more integrated, Hezonja should be the one to be affected, but you never know. Keep an eye on the minutes going forward.

Enes Kanter

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 24 7 1 0 4 0/1 8/14 7/8

Played 41 minutes! 9 of his 24 rebounds were offensive! Maybe from the Bulls perspective. I kid. Anyways, Mitchell Robinson only played 11 minutes due to foul trouble, so Kanter feasted. He must like Bulls meat. I still think Robinson is the main guy at center, but Kanter still has value, as he can double-dub in 20 minutes of run.

Emmanuel Mudiay played 34 minutes while Trey Burke played 24 minutes. Two words: double overtime.

Clint Capela

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 10 1 0 1 2 0 8/10 2/2

2-for-2 from the free throw line….

Gary Clark

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 6 0 2 3 0 1/6 1/6 3/3

Played 24 minutes. Clark is a 6′ 8″, 225 lb rookie from the University of Cincinnati. Not a great shooter, Clark will do the dirty work. Man, the Rockets are super banged up.

James Harden

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 4 6 3 1 5 5/12 7/15 9/9

For most players, this is an awesome line. For James? Doesn’t get us Harden excited, as we expect much more.

Chris Paul

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 5 13 1 0 5 0/6 4/12 1/2

So many bricks that there’s a good chance he caused damage to the equipment. Good thing State Farm is there.

Myles Turner

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 2 0 1 3 3 0/1 2/7 3/4

Played 23 minutes. No wonder the song says walk 500 Myles.

Tyreke Evans

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 2 1 0 0 1 2/5 3/9 3/6

Played 16 minutes. Averaging 20 minutes a game. This Rekes!

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 8 5 0 0 1 0 7/9 3/4

Arvydas? Is that you?

Rodney McGruder

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 5 2 2 0 2 2/3 3/8 0/2

Played 33 minutes. Not the best shooting night, but his ability to contribute in the periphery cats gives him a nice floor. Wayne Ellington played 4 minutes, so I’m super sizing this McGruder meal.

Justise Winslow

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 6 5 3 0 1 1/2 3/10 2/4

Played 35 minutes after playing 37 and 30 the prior two games. Winslow is a bad shooter, but he stuffs the stat sheet. There are times when he’s Point Justise as well.

Bam Adebayo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 8 1 3 1 0 0 4/5 3/4

Got the start and played 29 minutes because Hassan Whiteside was out due to a knee injury. Bam did get into foul trouble in the first quarter, or his night may have been bigger. I like Bam, as he jumps off the screen when I watch him play. As long as Whiteside is in Miami, though, he’s capped.

Goran Dragic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 7 6 0 1 3 1/6 7/18 6/7

Here is where Dragic has finished according to Basketball Monster the past four years: 103, 55, 101, 62. Currently, he’s the 116th player. Well, it’s time for Dragic to earn that Dragon nickname, because he’s going to need to go on a serious heater to continue the tradition.

Josh Richardson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 8 4 0 2 1 3/5 11/21 2/2

My RichardSON!!! Played a team-high 38 minutes last night and is enjoying a 24 usage rate on the season, the first time in his career above 20. My RichardSON!!!!

Dwayne Wade

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 1 2 0 1 3 0/1 8/15 2/6

Played 29 minutes. A professional getter of buckets.

Kelly Olynyk

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 5 4 1 1 2 3/9 3/10 4/5

If you own Olynyk, I think you can now relate to women and their quest for the O.

Blake Griffin

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 15 7 1 0 4 2/8 8/21 6/8

Played 40 minutes in an OT game. Maybe all is right in the world, as Lake has not blocked a shot in two straight games. Enough clowning, though, as he’s been amazing this year. Currently the 25th player according to Basketball Monster. Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

Andre Drummond

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 24 3 1 1 4 0 11/19 3/9

Played 44 minutes.

Reggie Jackson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 4 6 1 0 3 3/9 9/22 4/4

It’s November. I thought he was Mr. October.

Glen Robinson III

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 2 0 1 2 2 2/4 6/12 2/2

Got the start and played 30 minutes ahead of Stanley Johnson. Dwane Casey got sick of his Johnson.

Langston Galloway

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 9 4 2 0 2 4/9 7/15 3/5

Played 35 minutes. Will continue to see run as long as Reggie Bullock is out. When Bullock returns, sayonara.

Jaren Jackson Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 6 2 0 5 2 0/3 6/16 3/6

Played 32 minutes. The minutes have been all over the place, and the Grizzlies play at the slowest pace in the league, so I wouldn’t expect this kind of production on a nightly basis.

Kyle Anderson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 4 5 4 0 0 0 1/5 2/2

Whoever dubbed him Slow-Mo is a freaking genius. Just track his fantasy points on a nightly basis.

Marc Gasol

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 10 9 0 0 2 0 2/2 4/4

Played a season-low 28 minutes. After scoring in double-digits in each of his first seven games, Gasol has now gone 8 and 7 in the past two. Owners are probably frustrated with Gasol this season, but you know what? He’s the 29th player according to Basketball Monster.

Mike Conley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 1 5 0 1 3 1/5 4/8 0/1

Owners are probably frustrated with Conley as well. Unfortunately, there is no happy ending here, as he’s the 70th player according to Basketball Monster. One ray of hope, though, is that he has a 30.5 usage rage on the season. It’s only a matter of time that he starts shooting better.

Shelvin Mack played 24 minutes and scored 15 points with 3 assists. Dillon Brooks played 24 minutes and scored 18 points. Do with that information what you will. I’m just the messenger.

Draymond Green left after playing 14 minutes due to a foot contusion. X-rays were negative but status remains unknown at this time.

The Warriors blew out the Grizzlies, so Jonas Jerebko played 20 minutes, Jordan Bell played 21 minutes, Alfonzo McKinnie played 29 minutes, and Quinn Cook played 19 minutes. You know the game went well when Bell played over 20 minutes.

Taj Gibson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 9 1 2 1 0 0 6/9 3/4

It’s nice to have the Taj opened for business again. The 32 minutes played last night was the first time over 30 minutes since October 22nd.

Andrew Wiggins

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 6 2 1 2 2 2/7 4/16 3/4

Ceiling game.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 12 2 3 4 3 1/3 8/13 3/3

meow.

Derrick Rose

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 3 4 0 0 2 1/3 8/20 4/4

Got the start and played 35 minutes. Holy moly. How many black holes can there be on one team?

Jimmy Butler

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 4 5 1 1 2 0/2 6/13 8/11

Played a team-high 39 minutes. Nice of him to show up. I don’t know how the situation will play out, but I’d trade for Butler if I could get him at a good price. It’s not like he’s injured and he has to play a certain number of games according to the collective bargaining agreement. Now, he doesn’t have to play every game, but he will play some and there’s upside that he indeed does get traded, which would probably be to a contending team.

Danilo Gallinari

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 4 3 0 0 2 2/6 7/16 6/6

What’s the office pool have as D-Day for Gallinari?

Tobias Harris

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 10 2 1 0 1 4/7 8/16 2/3

Someone gonna get piggidy paid.

Boban Marjanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 9 2 0 2 1 0 3/8 4/4

Got the start again and played 18 minutes. You don’t mess with the Boban.

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 3 5 1 1 2 0/1 2/6 2/2

Got the start and played 25 minutes, as Avery Bradley was out due to a sprained ankle. As with most rookies, raw on the offensive side of the ball, but SGA has length to contribute the D.

Montrezl Harrell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 7 2 3 0 4 0 6/7 1/2

Played 30 minutes. He’s the guy to own, as Boban will probably settle in at around 20 minutes per game and Marcin Gortat is doneso.