Boogie Nights

If you had a time machine, when/where would you travel to? Use the space below to write down your answers, then print, and finally frame it.

You never know. A philanthropic time traveller could visit one day and offer to take you on three trips. On the condition that you can name the destinations in five seconds or less. Since you already have it printed and framed, you good to go. My first destination would be 25 years into the future Biff Tannen-style. The Sports Almanac from 2017 to 2042 would be the most logical thing to get. Then, I’d go back to the time of Jesus. I have to know. Finally, I’d want to see Wilt Chamberlain play. Since 1963, there had been 152 instances in which a player scored at least 40 points with 20 rebounds in a game. Wilt had 74 of those. The crazy thing is the query on basketballreference.com only went back to 1963. Wilt started his NBA career in 1959. I could go into the game logs for those years, but I’m lazy and we are not here to talk about Wilt. We are here to talk about DeMarcus Cousins aka Boogie.

Make that 153 times a player has gone 40/20. Boogie now has two two of them, with the other one back in October of this year. Now, we know that Anthony Davis is out for a while. In the games that he’s missed, Cousins’ usage rate has been 46.4, 30.1, and 44.0 last night. If you’re a Cousins owner, dance with the boogie get high ’cause boogie nights are always the best in town.

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You know who loved Boogie last night? Stocktonator had him as the number one play.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

No Steph Curry. No Draymond Green. No problemo because Kevin Durant messed around last night.

LeBron James almost messed around.

One of these days, someone needs to pull off the skin of LeBron and see what’s actually underneath. Would we see a Terminator-esque machine or one of the lizards from V? Maybe we’d see the Stocktonator underneath, as it had LeBron as the number two play.

Andre Drummond tried to mess around and join the 40/20 club.

An A for effort, but the bouncer at the 40/20 doesn’t mess around.

Zach Randolph got the start for the Kings and played 32 minutes.

I was dead wrong about Randolph. Keep that in mind when you ask me a question.

JaKarr Sampson got the start at power forward for the Kings and played 33 minutes.

Sampson is 6′ 9″ 207 pounds. He played his college ball at St. John’s and went undrafted in 2014. He’s played for the 76ers, Nuggets, and Grizzlies D-League team. Sampson is not much of an offensive threat, but I think it’s safe to say that he knows how to rebound. He should get run as long as Willie Cauley-Stein is out, but it’s the Kings so you never know.

Frank Mason III played 19 minutes.

Fortunately, Frank doesn’t play like he’s a Mason. Unfortunately, he hovers around the 20 minutes of run mark.

Buddy Hield played 26 minutes.

I think Vivek likes having Buddy on the team because it brings back fond memories of his youth.

Kevin Love –

Love conquers hate once again.

Jose Calderon –

Damnit! So close to the binary code line.

Kyle Korver –

I never give love to Korver, but I actually wrote down Calderon, so it’s only right that I do tonight. Korver has made at least one three-pointer in all but two games. He’s shooting a robust 43.5% from downtown. Ok, I’ll see you in the offseason Kyle.

Denzel Valentine –

Got the start and played 33 minutes. That’s significant, considering David Nwaba is back and played 22 minutes.

Kris Dunn –

Have you see what Kris has Dunn the past five games? 8-for-14, 6-for-13, 2-for-9, 9-for-11, and 10-for-16. Maybe his shooting woes are Dunn. It’s probably in my best interest to be Dunn fading him.

Victor Oladipo –

Oladipo Ho! Oladipo Ho! Top 12 player Ho!

Cory Joseph played 31 minutes, while Darren Collison only played 21. It sounds like Collison was in foul trouble the first half and Cory provided a spark on offense. I wouldn’t expect more than 22-24 minutes from Cory going forward. If you need anything greater than a binary code line, then Cory could be your man.

Taurean Prince –

Played 36 minutes but I wouldn’t count on the efficiency every night. With that said, I still believe in Prince. Just keep an eye on his minutes, like a “police helicopter tracking a pursuit” eye.

Tyler Cavanaugh –

With all the injuries in the Hawks front court, Cavanaugh is going to play minutes. He’s 6′ 9″ 238 pounds and can shoot. It helps that the coach likes him.

Dennis Schroder –

What a menace!

Aaron Gordon –

The Commissioner is taking no prisoners. Played 45 minutes in an OT game.

Evan Fournier –

Played 41 minutes and led the team in field goal attempts. Evian was tainted for a bit, but all seems good now. Did someone finally replace the filters?

Elfrid Payton –

When the game started up for Elf, he chose to click on the hardest difficulty mode. I’m pretty sure he’d be dropping nightly triple-dubs if he shaved his hair.

Maximilian Kleber –

Is this guy really good? ……………………………………………….Naw. I’m a father. One of my kids is a girl so I get it, Rick.

Dennis Smith Jr. –

Like with any boo, there are times of ecstasy and times of heartache. With that said, it was revealed after the game that DSJ has been dealing with some groin discomfort. Hope it’s not blue balls.

Al Horford –

The two most underrated Al’s in history. Stocktonator knows, though. Loved Horford last night and probably has Bundy playing on a loop inside it’s hard drive.

Jayson Tatum –

Overheard at a Boston tavern, “Nice process Philly.” There’s a reason why many say it’s wise to go against the consensus. Danny Ainge trusted his process and got the player he thought was best AND another pick.

Marcus Smart –

Got the start for Jaylen Brown (inflamed right eye) and played 34 minutes. For those that played him in DFS, not so Smart. Watching Marcus play basketball is so comical at times, that I often think his name is Maxwell.

Dillon Brooks –

Played a season-low 18 minutes. There have been a few times in my illustrious driving career when I’ve run over a nail and had it get stuck in my tire. Of course, I didn’t know right away. The air would slowly seep out of my tire and deflate gradually. I’d go to the gas station and fill up the tire with air to start the process all over again. Finally, after like the third or fourth time, I’d realize something was wrong. Yes, I am slow sometimes. Often, I just want to know right away so I can deal with the problem right then and there. That’s what it’s felt like owning Brooks.

Kristaps Porzingis returned from injury and played 34 minutes.

He’s a top 15 player and he only dishes out 1.1 dimes a game. He’s not in Serge Ibaka territory but he’s damn close.

With Tim Hardaway Jr. out, Lance Thomas got the start at small forward and played 32 minutes. The answer is no.

Jarrett Jack –

Whoa. Maybe I don’t know Jack.

Courtney Lee –

Top 50 player. He will throw in the occassionaly dud from time to time, but he shoots a high percentage (49/45/92) and will contribute a little something something in everything but blocks.

With Draymond Green out, Jordan Bell got the start at power forward and played 20 minutes.

With Steph Curry out, Quinn Cook got the start and played 22 minutes.

Shaun Livingston played 16 minutes, so no one is going to suck up Curry’s usage from the point guard position. That goes to KD.

Frank Kaminsky left the game due to a right ankle injury. Cody Zeller left the game due to a left knee strain. That should give more minutes to Marvin Williams and possibly Johnny O’Bryant. Williams has been pretty terrible, so I’m not sure an increase in minutes is a good thing. O’Bryant is 24 years old, 6′ 9″ and 257 pounds.

Stanley Johnson –

I don’t want to make any more Johnson jokes so….maybe SVG loves Scarlett Johansson, which gets him to subconsciously play Stanley.

Thon Maker –

Played 23 minutes. Damn….so close. The elusive binary code line eludes my grasp yet again.

Eric Bledsoe –

Played 31 minutes and led the team in shot attempts. Giannis is cool with that, “More boards for me.”

Jamaal Murray played 23 minutes. Emmanuel Mudiay played 27 minutes.

With Nikola Jokic out, Kenneth Faried started at center and Wilson Chandler at power forward. Faried and Chandler sucked. Trey Lyles, though, played 27 minutes and went:

I’d keep an eye on him, like a “librarian watching a group of kids” eye.

Rajon Rondo –

Played 26 minutes and was in the vicinity of messing around. He’s what Lonzo Ball aspires to be.

E’Twaun Moore played 39 minutes.

Moore please!

Josh Richardson –

That makes five games in a row scoring in double figures. That’s mah son!

Kelly Olynyk got the start at center and played 33 minutes.

I think he and Bam Adebayo, who played 18 minutes, will rotate starting depending on the matchup. We shall see how it plays out though.

Goran Dragic –

His last four games, Dragic has shot 3-for-11, 7-for-10, 3-for-12, and 3-for-12. If I were in Vegas right now, I’d put my whole stack down on 3 red. Shit, but now I’m conflicted because Wesley Snipes said to always bet on black. What to do….what to do.

The Spurs won 117-105 and had eight players score in double digits, with no one scoring more than 18. Lamarcus Aldridge with 18, Rudy Gay with 16, Pau Gasol with 12, Tony Parker with 10, Danny Green with 12, Patty Mills with 13, Bryn Forbes with 17, and Manu Ginobli with 10. Do the players that didn’t score in double digits have to run extra laps at practice? I think Pop would be proud that, not one player received their own blurb.

Taj Gibson –

Karl-Anthony Towns –

Meow.

A balanced performance from the Timberwolves. The starters scored 16, 16, 21, 19, and 19. The shots and attempts went 7-for-10, 7-for-16, 9-for-14, 6-for-14, and 7-for-12.

Danilo Gallinari returned from injury and played 26 minutes.

You think a rooster just opens it’s eyes and cocks-a-doodle-doos? Actually, I have no idea but I can’t imagine that would be the first thing it would do. Like, it could cock it’s head from side to side or take a dump or shake it’s feathers. Gotta be something, right?

DeAndre Jordan –

Remember when I said DJ would start averaging like 20 boards a game? Damn, 12 offensive boards. I’m just imagining him on the Bucks. The offense would be a triangle and two. G and DJ down in the paint with Bledsoe, Middleton, and Snell on the perimeter. No one would need to shoot. Just throw the ball to the backboard and G or DJ would get it. It’d be like handball.

Austin Rivers shot 9-for-18 while Lou Williams went 9-for-20. Some guys like to put their rifles to semi-auto. Pop. Pop. Pop. Others like to flip the switch to fully-auto. Spray and pray. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2017 Los Angeles Clippers.