JB – The glitz, the glamour, the Razzies! ¬†Slim we’re back, for the 4th Annual Razzies, I can’t believe we’re now simulcast live on ABC, NBC, and Skinamax!
Slim – Yeah, I dunno how you sold that third one…
JB starts to sheepishly unbutton his tuxedo.
Slim – STOP!
JB buttons it back on…
JB –¬†…Well, simulcast on ABC and NBC then… ¬†The cameras are out, our NBA nominees are arriving on the red carpet as we speak. ¬†Our Razzies are backstage with THE CORRECT award cards set up by our PAs for each 16-17 Razzies, with the Razzie awarded to each esteemed winner by your votes. ¬†There’s Chandler Parsons sporting a walking cane, I guess there’s no hope that it was all an act and he goes into a front somersault like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka, right?!
Slim –¬†…I’m surprised he’s not in a wheelchair… ¬†Ohhhh, entering in the west entrance, let’s hope he can fit that hat in under the doorway! ¬†It’s… ¬†Coach Asshat!
JB – Nice spot Slim, yes Coach Asshat looks like a total Mess, fitting for his season, I just love this time of year!
Slim – Speaking of love, remember last year when I showed you some pictures of Gary Harris I was hoping he would see, this time I have a video!
Slim pulls out his phone [NOT an iPhone!], and starts playing a video. ¬†There is so. ¬†Much. ¬†Hair!
JB –¬†No! ¬†NO! ¬†Make it stop! ¬†Well, we got Skinamax back, but lost ABC and NBC, 1 outta 3 ain’t bad! ¬†Speaking of, there’s Andre Drummond! ¬†Waving at the crowd, shoulder hair busting through his tuxedo. ¬†What a illustrious night. ¬†Slim, I think everyone has about filed away into our ballroom, Let’s award some Razzies!
Slim is disgustingly still holding his phone up to the camera. ¬†JB just shakes his head…Please, blog, may I have some more?