JB – The glitz, the glamour, the Razzies! Slim we’re back, for the 4th Annual Razzies, I can’t believe we’re now simulcast live on ABC, NBC, and Skinamax!
Slim – Yeah, I dunno how you sold that third one…
JB starts to sheepishly unbutton his tuxedo.
Slim – STOP!
JB buttons it back on…
JB – …Well, simulcast on ABC and NBC then… The cameras are out, our NBA nominees are arriving on the red carpet as we speak. Our Razzies are backstage with THE CORRECT award cards set up by our PAs for each 16-17 Razzies, with the Razzie awarded to each esteemed winner by your votes. There’s Chandler Parsons sporting a walking cane, I guess there’s no hope that it was all an act and he goes into a front somersault like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka, right?!
Slim – …I’m surprised he’s not in a wheelchair… Ohhhh, entering in the west entrance, let’s hope he can fit that hat in under the doorway! It’s… Coach Asshat!
JB – Nice spot Slim, yes Coach Asshat looks like a total Mess, fitting for his season, I just love this time of year!
Slim – Speaking of love, remember last year when I showed you some pictures of Gary Harris I was hoping he would see, this time I have a video!
Slim pulls out his phone [NOT an iPhone!], and starts playing a video. There is so. Much. Hair!
JB – No! NO! Make it stop! Well, we got Skinamax back, but lost ABC and NBC, 1 outta 3 ain’t bad! Speaking of, there’s Andre Drummond! Waving at the crowd, shoulder hair busting through his tuxedo. What a illustrious night. Slim, I think everyone has about filed away into our ballroom, Let’s award some Razzies!
Slim is disgustingly still holding his phone up to the camera. JB just shakes his head… Please, blog, may I have some more?