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Santa Claus is known by the names of Saint Nicholas or Kris Kringle. Rajon Rondo is known by the names of Johnny, Swag, and The Yoga Instructor (nicknames courtesy of Basketball Reference). Claus’ height and weight are classified. Rondo is 6′ 1″ 186 pounds. Claus moves around via reindeer-drawn sled. Rondo uses his own two legs to run around the court. Claus is a global icon. Rondo could be if he hired the right marketing agency. Claus and Rondo are different on so many levels, but both are some of the most generous entities that man has ever known. Claus gives gifts to children that are well-behaved and coal to the bad children. Has anyone ever figured out why Claus is so freaking generous? Like, what’s his motivation? We are taught not to accept candy from strangers, especially those that stick their heads out from a windowless van. And for good reason. The candy is the bait to lure us in. And Claus? Anyways, regardless of motivation, Claus is a generous dude. Rondo is also generous. He dishes out dimes that enable his teammates to score buckets easier. In fact, he is so generous that he had dished out 6,216 dimes, good for 31st on the all-time list, before the start of last night’s game.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 2 7 25 1 0 3 0/1 1/5 0

Make that 6,241 dimes, good for 30th on the all-time assist list. The 25 assist game was the ninth-best of all time! Scott Skiles, of all people, holds the record with a 30 assist game. Go figure. Rondo is not going to contribute much outside of assists and rebounds, but the dimes will definitely be plentiful. As for Claus vs Rondo, the edge has to go to Claus, as he has no rival and always seems to deliver. Rondo has his off nights.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Victor Oladipo did not play due to a sore knee. As a result, Lance Stephenson got the start and played 36 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 15 5 2 0 5 2/5 7/12 0

Born Ready indeed. Are all Lance’s good playing with only one ball?

With no Dipo in the lineup, the shot attempts got dispersed pretty evenly. Thaddeus Young went 5-of-11, Bojan Bogdanovic 5-of-13, Myles Turner 6-of-12, and Darren Collison 7-of-12. Commie alert! No wonder they lost to the Mavericks, 98-94.

Dirk Nowitzki:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 7 3 1 1 0 1/3 7/10 0

The Matrix is so nostalgic. Anyways, as I mentioned the other day, I’m not sure the Matrix has enough computing power to allow both Dirk and Lauri Markkanen to have good games on the same day. Checks Markkanen’s line.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 12 2 1 0 1 1 2/8 5/15 0/1

Yup. As I suspected. The theory lives on for another day. Did you know that Dirk is a Top 55 player in fantasy? That’s how powerful the Matrix is. Never forget.

Maximillian Kleber:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 5 2 0 0 1 1/3 2/7 0

Played 18 minutes. Such a fickle beast he is. No wonder the teenage girls identify with him.

Dennis Smith Jr. played 29 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 9 4 1 1 0 2 1/3 4/9 0

He’s slowly rounding into form. It’s only a matter of time before my boo starts shining like the star I know he is. Granted, that star could be a Halley’s comet which comes around every 75 years, but my love is true. In the meantime, Yogi Ferrell played 31 minutes and gets most of the backup run.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 3 4 0 1 1 2/4 5/8 1/2

JJ Barea played 21 minutes and won’t play much more on a nightly basis.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 0 7 1 0 2 0/3 2/6 0

He’s prone to the off night, but he is usually super efficient with the limited number of minutes that he gets. He’s got that secret deal with Coach Carlisle. “Coach, have you seen my wife?” “Say no more, JJ. Say no more.”

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 15 7 4 2 0 1 1/1 7/11 0

I love his game. Can post up, hit the mid-range, hoist from downtown, dish dimes, and clean up the glass. He’s so versatile. Is that what happens when you have three names? Or is it two and a half? Or is the secret in the hyphen? Regardless, Anthony Davis was guarding him and he had no issues taking it to him. Really impressive player. Y’all know what time it is. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. It’s Rondae!!!!

Spencer Dinwiddie:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 3 4 0 1 1 1/2 1/4 4/4

Only played 22 minutes. It was the second game of a back-to-back, so there was that. The main culprit was the play of Caris LeVert, who played 32 minutes and was hot. This shouldn’t be a regular occurrence, but do keep in mind that he’s had three games with 22 minutes played and one with 19 minutes during the month of December. As for LeVert:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 6 7 0 0 4 3/6 8/15 3/5

He assumes ball handling duties when on the court and is a willing and able slasher, but has the ability to stroke it from downtown.

Quincy Acy:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 4 1 1 0 3 4/5 7/8 0

Played 24 minutes. Balled out after I dissed him yesterday. My power is growing!

Nik Stauskas:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 21 3 2 0 0 0 7/10 7/12 0

Played 24 minutes. Allen Crabbe played 19 minutes and shot 1-of-5 from downtown. Ruh-oh. I’ve always been a lobster guy anyway.

After watching Jarrett Allen and Timofey Mozgov play, I’m super bullish on Jahlil Okafor. Mozgov is an abomination. We knew Allen couldn’t score, but his defense was trash. Granted, it was against Cousins and Davis, but there were times when Davis would just drive right past him. Also, he couldn’t close out on outside shots. Okafor could do just as bad, but at least he can contribute on the offensive side of the ball.

Anthony Davis did not get hurt.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 33 11 2 1 6 1 4/4 11/19 7/8

Before Jesus Christ is labeled as B.C. on our calendar. What is after? A.D. That’s how good Anthony Davis is.

DeMarcus Cousins:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 27 14 5 1 1 2 2/6 10/19 5/6

Boogie gets down every night.

E’twaun Moore:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 4 2 1 0 1 4/5 8/11 0

Played 38 minutes. He has his off nights, as he’s not a freaking robot! With that said, he gets so many open looks from downtown in the Pelicans offense, that it’s hard for him not to be productive on most nights.

Serge Ibaka:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 7 2 2 0 0 1 1/2 3/7 0

Revenge! I guess not. I thought that narrative meant automatic big game?

Kyle Lowry:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 4 10 3 0 3 2/7 3/10 5/5

DeMar DeRozan:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 15 6 2 1 0 2 0/3 4/16 7/7

Both Lowry and DeRozan struggled, which is why the Raptors lost 107-124. The Thunder are one of the best defensive teams in the league. With all the length they have now, it’s not a surprise. Now, if they can figure out things on the offensive side of the ball, this could be a dangerous team.

CJ Miles:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 1 0 1 0 1 6/12 6/12 2/2

Played 22 minutes. Strictly a three-point specialist. Unfortunately, most of the time he is just a three-point attempt specialist. The gap between good and bad games is Miles apart.

Russell Westbrook almost messed around.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 30 8 13 2 0 7 0/1 11/22 8/10

For Russ, I should just note when he doesn’t mess around. Is this team starting to figure it out? I may have to downgrade the WESTCOM to 4.

Paul George:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 33 8 2 1 0 2 7/10 11/17 4/5

After playing like Curious George for much of the early season, it looks like PG is settled in and rocking and rolling. Stocktonator was all over him yesterday. Stocktonator knows. Listen to it. Can’t wait until he’s wearing Purple and Gold, though.

Carmelo Anthony:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 4 4 1 0 0 0/4 8/15 2/2

Invisible Hoodie Melo!

Nikola Jokic:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 9 4 2 1 2 1/3 5/11 11/12

Played 41 minutes. He’s baaaaack. It’s nice to see contributions in the D stats. I have a feeling Jokic is going to start messing around a lot soon.

Jamal Murray:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 21 7 8 0 0 1 2/9 8/20 3/3

Played 46 minutes! It was an OT game. Remember when he and Mudiay were battling it out for point guard duties? What a frivolous affair.

Trey Lyles:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 10 0 0 1 1 4/8 8/13 3/3

Uno! Dos! Trey! I’m going to ejaculate all over my keyboard when Trey posts his first triple-dub.

Will Barton:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 3 5 0 0 1 4/8 10/17 4/5

Played 34 minutes. He and Lyles are the main guys off the bench. In an OT game, it was essentially a seven man rotation. Thibs just got an erection.

Jimmy Butler:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 39 4 5 1 0 1 3/6 10/20 16/18

I love seeing 16-of-18 from the charity stripe. Denotes aggression. Butler is the alpha of this pack of wolves. Ah woooooooooooooo! The lion and tiger may be more powerful, but the wolf does not perform in the circus. I believe the Stocktonator penned that quote. No? Well, it loved Jimmy B last night, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it did.

Jamal Crawford:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 1 3 1 0 1 0/4 6/11 0

Played 26 minutes. Crawford is the main scorer off the bench.

LeBron James messed around.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 16 10 14 5 0 4 0/2 6/17 4/5

No video for you, though! Not when your squad loses to the Kings, 95-109.

Willie Cauley-Stein:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 9 4 0 1 0 0 8/14 1/2

Played 36 minutes. More of this please! Papagiannis and Koufos both DNP-CD. Yes! More of that please!

Vince Carter:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 5 3 1 1 1 4/5 10/12 0

He is not half man, half amazing. He is 100% amazing!

Bogdan Bogdanovic:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 16 3 8 4 1 4 3/6 6/9 1/1

I still like his potential, but it’s tough to predict the Kings on any given night.

Doug McDermott got the start at small forward and played 37 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 3 6 1 0 0 2 0/3 1/6 1/2

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, that’s why you don’t start Doug McDermott.

Enes Kanter:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 4 11 1 0 0 1 0/1 2/7 0

Kanter laughs in the face of political oppression. Scoffs at family disowning him. Is not phased by The Process. Robin Lopez? Neuters him. Another explanation is that he partied so hard after his historic game on Christmas. Yeah, I’ll go with that one.

Frank Ntilikina:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 5 4 1 1 1 0/3 3/10 0/1

Did not shoot well, but played 28 minutes. Jarrett Jack was productive in 20 minutes of run, but it’s slowly happening folks. I think. I hope.

Kris Dunn:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 5 5 2 1 2 1/4 6/18 4/4

Led the Bulls in scoring, shot attempts, and to victory!!! You Dunn f’ed up if you didn’t scoop him up off the waiver wire earlier in the year.

Marcin Gortat:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
2 4 0 0 0 1 0 1/6 0

Played 21 minutes. Let’s cut to Gortat owners right now:

 

 Ersan Ilyasova:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 9 0 1 0 2 3/7 7/14 3/5

Markieff Morris.

Kent Bazemore:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 6 7 0 1 2 3/6 4/10 0

I love how he’s contributing across the board this year. Gives him a high floor on those nights he doesn’t shoot well. Top 50 player.

Derrick Favors:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 10 1 0 0 0 0 7/11 3/4

No Gobert?? You do yourself a Favors and start Derrick.

Thabo Sefolosha:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 11 8 1 2 1 2 1/2 4/12 2/2

Got the start at power forward and played 33 minutes. He starts. He plays minutes. He jacks up shots. It’s not rocket science. Ok, fine. This was probably more about matching up with the Warriors, but keep an eye on the situation, like “Secret Service looking into crowd” eye.

Rodney Hood:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 5 0 3 0 1 2/5 9/20 6/8

Live and die in the Hood.

Warriors win 126-101. Kevin Durant leads the team with 21 points. Draymond Green almost messed around. Blah blah blah.

Marcus Smart got the start for the injured Jaylen Brown and played 35 minutes.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 5 5 2 0 0 0 1/4 2/9 0

Not feeling so Smart, huh?

Al Horford:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 11 1 1 1 3 4/6 8/11 0

Horford is the missionary of fantasy basketball. Underappreciated, yet effective and satisfying.

Dwight Howard:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 12 17 3 1 2 3 0 3/10 6/10

Why are his shoulders bigger than my head?

Kemba Walker:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 1 5 0 0 4 4/10 9/22 2/2

Does Kemba have one of the best, if not the best, step back Js in the game?

Tyreke Evans:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 32 7 7 0 0 2 2/6 8/17 14/15

Jarell Martin:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 8 0 0 2 1 0 8/10 4/4

Played 32 minutes due to the injuries to JaMychal Green and Brandan Wright. Minutes equal money.

Andrew Harrison:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 15 1 2 0 0 1 0/4 4/12 7/9

Continues to start and played 28 minutes. If you need someone that does more than breath, then take a look at Andrew.

Kyle Kuzma:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 9 8 1 2 0 1 1/11 4/24 0

Momma said there’d be days like this.

Brandon Ingram:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 23 4 4 1 2 5 0 9/20 5/11

Paging Dr. Hopla. Dr. Hopla. Your services are required immediately. Played 44 minutes in his return from injury. I’m so curious to see what his ceiling is. If there is one!!!

Julius Randle:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 6 3 0 0 0 1 0 2/5 2/6

Played 11 minutes. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm. No idea what’s going on here.

Josh Hart:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 8 2 0 0 0 1/2 3/5 2/2

Played 30 minutes. He’s getting run due to the Lonzo Ball injury. Keep him in mind for the future, though. Hart can shoot, board, and is a very physical guard. Coaches seem to like him a lot.