With the release of Joker – a truly chilling and exceptional movie, by the way – the Jokic and Joker puns and references are becoming a bit tired. So let’s take this a different route: who gets a place on the Mount Rushmore of seemingly out-of-shape athletes? Jokic is certainly making a case for a position. He doesn’t look like the most trim guy out there.Image result for nikola jokic"

So I got to thinking, and in terms of basketball, people like Bryant Reeves, Glen Davis, and Eddy Curry came to mind. Other sports have some really strong contenders, with baseball throwing out some especially heavy competitors. CC Sabathia, David Wells, Pablo Sandoval, and the Babe himself could create a fairly heavyset Mount Rushmore. The NFL is a different case, with guys like Vince Wilfork needing to be as big as they were in order to dominate the opposition.

It’s really an interesting discussion, so comment your picks below. But I digress. The point here is that Jokic was able to outwork the Greek – or rather Cameroonian – God himself, Joel Embiid, in the ultimate matchup of chiseled vs. flabby.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 10 6 2 2 1 2-9 10-22 4-5

The three-point efficiency is really the only thing to be mad about here… but the game-winning three that sealed the deal helped make up for that showing for Denver fans.

Here’s what else we saw from around the league on Friday night:

 

Paul Millsap

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 8 2 2 2 0 3-4 4-11 4-4

The whole Nuggets starting lineup dominated tonight, with each of them putting up a +/- of 11 or higher, and Millsap led the way with a +23. He’s only 66% owned on Yahoo!, but is a versatile big that can get you threes and D.

Jamal Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 6 11 1 2 2 1-3 10-18 1-1

11 assists! Jamal Murray played more like a true point guard in this game than we’ve seen in a long time, surpassing six dimes for the first time this season. His scoring is automatic night-in and night-out, and he continues to rebound well for his size.

Will Barton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 7 1 2 1 2 2-4 8-12 2-3

Barton’s rebounding has been a great surprise this season, as he averages seven a game and is currently the No. 50 player in fantasy on Yahoo! You could sell high, but it might be worth buying into his stock based on how heavily Denver leans on its starters.

Joel Embiid

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 15 2 0 1 8 2-4 6-17 5-7

There’s some reason for concern with Joel. Despite all the talk about getting in great shape during the offseason, he looks slow and tired on the floor at times. And eight turnovers… yikes.

Josh Richardson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 0 5 2 1 2 1-2 3-10 0-0

Richardson’s poor shooting was a big factor in the Nuggets’ massive comeback in the fourth quarter. He has actually been fairly consistent across the board this season, so chalk this one up to a bad showing and expect him to get back to business. His steals have been tremendous this year.

Tobias Harris

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 10 4 2 2 1 0-2 6-14 1-2

It doesn’t seem like you’ll see Tobi having a bad game very frequently this year. He’s probably the most steadfast part of this offense, durability-wise and production-wise. Looks like he’s cemented the fact that he’ll outplay his draft position this year.

Andre Drummond

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 13 8 0 1 4 0-2 6-14 3-4

Only 13 rebounds?! Pathetic. 8 assists? All is forgiven. 2019 Drummond is the gift that keeps on giving.

Luke Kennard

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 6 5 0 0 1 4-9 11-21 3-3

Kennard fooled me (and everyone else, with a pre-draft rank of 180) this season. Granted, Rose was out, but he’s averaging 18 points per game, 2.8 threes, and showing good rebound and assist numbers.

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 14 6 0 1 1 0-2 6-14 5-6

Welcome to the top-25, young gun. His pre-draft rank was 82, so getting him at any point in the draft was a bonus (was Sabonis?) for your squad.

T.J. McConnell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 5 9 0 1 0 0-0 8-10 1-1

I had an Instagram post with my brother back in 2016 of us at a Sixers game with the caption, “Put either of us out there, Brett. We’re pretty much T.J. McConnell.” I respectfully rescind my words and acknowledge that T.J. is a stud. He did all this in just 21 minutes. Unfortunately, he usually doesn’t, and so he’s not worth owning or taking in DFS save for an unpredictable explosion like this one.

Justin Holiday

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 6 0 0 4 3 2-5 4-7 6-7

I usually skip out on my neighborhood’s holiday block party, but this was one I wish I had partaken in. Again though, a blip in the radar. The Pacers bench just decided to show out for this one against the miraculously mediocre Pistons.

Ja Morant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 2 7 0 0 6 0-1 3-13 2-3

This game actually kind of proves Morant’s importance to the team. They have no chance when he’s off, which perhaps leads to an explanation of why they lost by 32 to the Magic. His stats are much better looking than is his fantasy ranking (146), likely because he doesn’t provide too much in the way of threes or defense, and provides all too much of the turnover category.

Brandon Clarke

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 6 1 0 1 1 1-3 5-12 2-2

I’m on the start Clarke train. Why not get this guy some more exposure in a throwaway season for Memphis? He produces and is currently a top 50 fantasy asset in only 22 minutes of action per game.

Nikola Vucevic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 16 6 2 1 1 1-3 9-16 4-5

Big Pick Nik is such a dangerous threat when he comes off of a ball screen, as he can pop, roll, and damage the defense in many ways. Fantasy owners can’t be upset about Vuc’s consistent double-double production this year.

Jonathan Isaac

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 8 0 1 4 1 1-3 9-11 3-4

3.1 blocks per game has put the third-year phenom inside the top-10 in fantasy scoring. He was in a lot of fantasy analyst circles as a steal this year, and it seems to be paying off.

Markelle Fultz

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
7 2 1 2 2 3 0-1 2-7 3-4

It’s time for our latest addition of “Who the f*** is Markelle Fultz as an NBA player?” And, as usual, our answer is that we have no idea. If anyone can enlighten me on what this guy’s career is going to look like, please help me out.

Tristan Thompson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 12 3 3 2 2 0-0 8-12 5-6

Ok, I’m finally convinced that Thompson is for real this year. No more anomaly talk. I guess I just want to know where this was throughout his career before this?

Cedi Osman

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 3 4 2 0 2 1-3 5-9 0-0

This is a pretty accurate representation of his per-game averages. In 31 minutes of playing time per contest (and 37 in last night’s game), they’re a little underwhelming, but usable if you’re in need of some consistency in scoring, three pointers, and steals.

Darius Garland

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 2 6 2 0 2 1-2 6-11 2-2

Garland is a good pick up if you want to buy-low on someone who hasn’t been very productive in fantasy because of his field goal percentage. His ranking is a lot worse than it will be by season’s end, and he’s beginning to play a larger role on the Cavs.

Thomas Bryant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
23 8 4 1 1 3 0-3 11-16 1-2

Sure, he benefits by being one of the focal points of a bad offense, but Bryant is a legitimately really good player. The No. 32 option in fantasy, he’s one of the most reliable centers behind the most obvious top tier.

Rui Hachimura

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 7 3 2 0 2 0-0 10-13 1-2

I wasn’t convinced by this pick on draft night (not fantasy draft night, but actual draft night), but the Gonzaga product has fit right into this offense and gets you scoring, rebounding, and efficiency. That’s part of the problem, though… he’s pretty one-dimensional.

Isaiah Thomas

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 2 5 0 0 3 1-4 5-9 0-0

Interestingly enough, moving into the starting lineup hurts Thomas in fantasy. His usage rate goes down as a result of playing with Beal, and his scoring is the most obvious statistic to take a hit. Still, he can pop off at anytime, and utilizing him most effectively should be a priority for the Wizards.

Harrison Barnes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 4 4 2 0 0 2-4 5-10 4-6

Even with guys like De’Aaron Fox and Buddy Hield alongside him, I still trust Barnes on a nightly basis more to give you what you drafted him for, which is a little bit of everything in a consistent manner.

Buddy Hield

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 5 1 0 1 2 3-8 9-17 1-1

He’s underperforming this season, but mainly because his 81% FT percentage is about 10 points lower than where it should be. Still, he should be a contender to lead the league in three pointers and will chuck them up at a high rate.

Richaun Holmes

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
2 9 1 0 1 0 0-0 1-4 0-0

29 minutes. *sigh*

De’Aaron Fox

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 4 9 1 1 5 0-0 6-10 5-6

Fox is another disappointment so far this year. His overall stats look good, but come at a price of streaky long ball shooting, free throw line shooting, and… just shooting in general. I have a feeling he’ll find his groove and tear it up for like a week straight sometime soon.

Dewayne Dedmon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 3 0 0 0 0 0-1 0-2 4-4

Is he the bust of the year? It’s quite possible. However, underperformances from Holmes are what Dedmon owners have to keep hoping for. They did pay him a big contract, you know.

Trae Young

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 2 12 5 0 5 3-10 12-22 3-3

Another dae at the office for Trae.

Jabari Parker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 8 2 1 1 0 1-5 11-18 2-2

He’ll probably be the biggest beneficiary of Collins’s suspension. The scoring is mainly what you’re getting from him, though.

D’Angelo Russell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
52 9 5 3 2 3 7-17 19-37 7-8

Harden… err, Russell put up some okay numbers in this one. His usage is going to be bonkers.

Glenn Robinson III

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 7 2 2 0 2 0-0 3-7 0-0

This is an impressively small showing for 42 minutes of action. Sidenote: The bigger Glenn Robinson in the news is the former head coach of Franklin & Marshall College who just retired this week, ending his career as the third-winningest coach in NCAA history. I was lucky enough to work under him for four years, and I can tell you he’s fully deserving of the same recognition of any DI or NBA coach.

Pascal Siakam

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
44 10 4 0 0 4 5-10 17-28 5-5

Someone’s gotta get a viral video of Pascal Siakam laughing a la Kawhi Leonard if only for the purpose of me inserting it right below this stat line.

OG Anunoby

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 7 4 1 1 1 5-7 7-13 2-2

Anunoby is doing his best Snorlax impersonation, making a rather convincing run at the sleeper of the year award. He’s the No. 13 player in all of fantasy, and that’s with a 4-8 free throw shooting line on the year.

Fred VanVleet

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 5 11 2 0 3 3-10 3-15 3-4

Alert: Kyle Lowry is missing time. VanVleet could become a huuuuuge threat if he isn’t already considered one.

Brandon Ingram

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 7 1 1 1 3 3-10 10-25 4-4

NOLA wasn’t without a beloved Ingram for long after Mark went to Baltimore. Ingram is playing like the No. 2 overall pick that he was. He’s freakishly talented and has the lankiness and wingspan to do some wild things.

Lonzo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
5 4 2 2 0 4 1-5 2-8 0-0

Don’t be too concerned over this one. He’ll bounce back.

Josh Hart

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
2 3 0 0 0 0 0-6 1-9 0-0

He played horribly, and he didn’t play a lot of minutes. With that said, he had played 27 minutes or more in his past five games, so this one just seems to be a case of the team getting worked on defense and the offensive-based weapons suffering.

Frank Ntilikina

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 6 4 4 3 1 4-5 5-12 0-0

This is the pick up of the week. He was given a starting role for a reason (whether that reason has to do with the Knicks being hopeless is up for debate), and he’s absolutely stuffing that stat sheet as a result.

Bobby Portis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 12 1 1 0 1 1-3 5-15 3-5

Portis is someone to keep an eye on. It’s unknown what direction Fizdale will take his playing time, as it has fluctuated throughout the year between 20 and 30 minutes. There are injuries going on with Mitchell Robinson, and Portis seems like an overall asset that’s too risky to invest a lot in.

R.J. Barrett

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
3 8 4 0 0 1 0-1 1-9 1-6

I want to buy low. I really really do. But I just can’t. Too hard to trust.

Luka Doncic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
38 14 10 0 0 8 3-11 13-26 9-9

Lukacrous.

Kristaps Porzingis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
28 9 0 0 5 1 4-8 11-22 2-3

I’m a big fan of the revenge game, and Porzilla performed up to standards with a monstrous game on defense in the low-post.

Bojan Bogdanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 5 0 0 0 3 5-10 9-19 10-10

Boo-jah. This man is wet.

Joe Ingles

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
1 5 3 0 0 2 0-3 0-5 1-2

His stock has gone down this season. Still, it’s strange to see the Jazz hit 15 threes and Ingles not take part in the barrage.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 13 4 2 2 5 2-6 10-22 8-13

Automatic. Keep shooting that long ball and he literally will be unstoppable in a couple years.

Eric Bledsoe

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 8 5 0 1 0 1-6 8-20 5-5

It’s nice to see him go perfect from the line. Once he brings that 74% figure up, he’ll take his rightful place in the top 100, and likely even higher. His defense isn’t there, though.

Spencer Dinwiddie

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 5 4 1 0 1 6-10 11-18 6-7

Dinwiddie done did it last night with an ambush of three pointers and added some good rebounding numbers. All we can rely on for now though is his nightly scoring to be in double digits and a couple of threes.

Kyrie Irving

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
33 3 6 1 1 1 4-8 12-27 5-5

I feel like people counted out the Kyrie-KD duo being the best combo in the NBA with LeBron-AD, Kawhi-PG, and Russ-Harden also in the contest. But it’s going to be really scary.

Jarrett Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 9 1 1 5 0 0-0 4-8 4-8

Allen is such a throwback to the old days of big, physical big men dominating in the paint. I love it. He’s looking like Ben Wallace down there, and it’s not just because of the afro.

Damian Lillard

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
60 4 5 0 0 2 7-16 19-33 15-15

60 points may be higher than the amount of regular listeners he has. That Shaq diss track was kind of sick, though.

Rodney Hood

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
0 1 0 0 0 0 0-0 0-0 0-0

Hood exited the game early with back spasms, making Mario Hezonja an interesting guy to look for should Hood miss any time.

Bam Adebayo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 9 4 3 1 3 0-0 4-7 3-8

Adebayo has been one of the bright spots for Miami even in bad losses like this one. If you can manage to throw away free throws or compensate for his struggles with other charity stripe snipers, he’s a great big man commodity.

Goran Dragic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 6 7 0 0 2 3-7 7-16 2-2

The veteran sixth man is a good role for Dragic, who can take over the game when he checks in. Depend on him for all sorts of offensive stats, but not much for devense save the occasional swipe.

LeBron James

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
25 4 6 0 0 3 4-7 10-19 1-2

It sometimes looks too easy out there for the King. He and AD continue to show good chemistry despite a lot of media buzz about AD’s time in LA.

Anthony Davis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 8 7 2 3 2 0-0 11-17 4-4

The Brow was in full display, and he seems to be fully healthy. He’s making plays out there like a floor general and dominating down low like a big man. Not much else to say other than that he’s fulfilling expectations out there.

  1. Nikola Jokester says:
    (link)

    Not sure if anyone would of the Rushmore-of-seemingly-out-of-shape-athletes would be recognisable, because it wouldn’t be well-sculpted.

  2. Ties says:
    (link)

    Oliver Miller was the king of out-of-shapers 🙂

  3. Geoff says:
    (link)

    Bartolo Colon?

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