Ay dios mio!
Friday was a cryday for me. Then Saturday was a sadderday. Muy triste! Ricky Rubio severely sprained his ankle in the second quarter against the Magic Friday night, effectively crushing several of my teams and ruining my DraftKings squad! Seems like every year there’s several bad ankle sprains with players rolling their foot on their own, get these guys better footwear! Rubio’s gonna miss at least a month, with a widely circulated update it “could” be 7-8 weeks. All I want for Christmas is Rubio back on the court! I’m holding in virtually all leagues, as he was finally banking on the high expectations I’ve set for him with my high ranks the past two years. Because we all know the Razzball Ranks are bulletin board material for NBA locker rooms…
Everything seemed to point towards a massive workload for Mo Williams, who through the first four games (with Rubio in there full time as the starter), Mo was averaging 21.4 minutes and 3 dimes per. But surprisingly, Flip Saunders went sushi on us with the raw Zach Lavine getting the start and going 5/6/4 in 26 minutes (only 2 TO) while Mo’s 2/4/5 in 22 minutes (3 TO) doesn’t inspire any sort of confidence Williams will get more rock. Add into the stew the Wolves were actually in that game against the Heat until the end, and it’s a stew I don’t think I want any part of anymore. I mean, who puts sushi in a mother f stew?! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:
Marcus Smart – On a scary Friday for ankle sprains, Smart was the second rookie this year to have to leave on a stretcher but only suffered a sprain and bone bruise and will miss less time than Rubio (2-3 weeks). Rajon Rondo then missed Saturday as well getting a screw pulled out of his hand. Um, ouch? Gave Evan Turner a start in the backcourt alongside Avery Bradley, giving Turner a mirage 19/5/6/0/0 line. Besides the opener, up until Saturday Evan was Miss Turner out there – so if you own Turner, the wire is saying “‘Ello Poppet!”
Klay Thompson – Ailing with a 13-year-old boy’s injury with a sprained hand. When you shoot it every time you touch the ball, it’s bound to sprain something! I think it’s an excuse for shooting 3-16 Saturday. “Wahhhh, my hand!” Probably sitting out Tuesday, so load up Captain Barbosa!
Nicolas Batum – Ruh roh. Had to be helped off the court late last night; luckily he’s already gotten an MRI that revealed only a knee bruise. Still, George Hill is like, “sometimes ‘only’ a knee bruise can suck nuts!” The Blazers have no clear cut SF backup, so it’ll likely be a minutes share if Batum misses any time.
The Beat Up Rockets – No Dwight Howard, Patrick Beverley or Terrence Jones Saturday night. The Rockets had no blocks in the loss to Golden State… None! Dr. Pap started and went a paltry 2/10/1/3/0 shooting 1-9, but steals and boards be steals and boards! Isaiah Canaan will start a few more games with PBev out with the hammy, and was decent for 21/4/1/1/0 in 39 minutes. Hit three treys as well – he’s a good streamer early this week.
Kawhi Leonard – Still having eye issues with one blurry… Buy low! A few extra shots aren’t falling, but 14/14/3/1/1 Saturday with no TO. The Hills Have Kawhis!
Aaron Gordon – Had a big one Friday for 17/6/1/0/2. I got a big one the game before watching this dunk last Wed. vs. the Sixers (Can anyone find video of that one? Crazy I couldn’t find it right away!). 2/2/0/1/1 yesterday, but I’ve been more than impressed. If he gets burn, I’m gonna be all over dat.
Evan Fournier – Even though his hair is horrific (Zachary Ty Bryan ponytail anyone?), playing pretty well including 19/1/5 last night. ThrAGNOFfy, but usable for some points scoring 39 over the weekend.
Gorgui Dieng – Ridiculous. 11/10/1/2/2 on Friday night, playing 25 minutes to Nikola Pekovic‘s 28, utterly ripping apart the Magic second unit. But then Pek went back up to 30 Saturday and Gorgui down to 18. 12/6/0/0/1 for The Gorgui Apparatus in that one, so still useful. Why he’s not closer to 25 MPG makes no sense. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
Jimmy Buckets – Even though his nephew Charlie inherited a confectionary empire, playing like there’s no tomorrow with 23/7/5/1/1 Friday and 16/5/2/2/0 Saturday. Given they were against Philly and Boston, hit a 3 in both games, shot 15-31 from the field and 7-7 FT and only 1 TO. Rumor has it after last night’s slaughter, he’s also going to play for the Bears and will lead them into the playoffs. I mean, the Bears will take anyone…
Derrick Rose – A little bit of a factor in the recent Butler scoring hike, as he sat again with his bum ankle. No seriously, his ankle looks like John Travolta’s chin. Gets another questionable tonight, so you’re gonna have Monday Night Fever.
Aaron Brooks – Dammit! One off! Played him in DraftKings Friday (10/1/4), but went nuts Saturday for 26/0/8/0/0 with four treys shooting 9-15 (4-4 FT). Better late than never doesn’t apply to fantasy, I’m mad. Damn you A-A-Ron, don’t you think about messin’ with me!
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute – Had a solid Friday night for 16/11/3/0/0 with a pair of treys, but then went back to being Mbah a Moute yesterday for 8/4/0/0/0. Yawn.
Malcolm Thomas – Part of the SF/PF mix will miss a little over a month with minor knee surgery. Vry little impact except bump up the available minutes for Mbah and Brandon Davies.
K.J. McDaniels – Kangaroo Juice! Ew. Kiwi Juice? I dunno, we need something… What we really need is KJ to start! No more of this Mbah a Moute and JaKrr Sampson hooblah. 6/5/4/2/0 Friday then the biggie yesterday for 11/1/1/2/4 with a trey. The blocks are comin’ in bunches, but they comin’! Probably should be owned in all 12ers and deeper.
Tony Wroten – Philly should change their name to the 70Wrotens. 31/5/7 Friday, then “cooled off” for “only” 18/3/5 yesterday. While all Wroten owners disagree, I’m eagerly anticipating the Michael Carter-Williams arrival this week! Hopefully a few of you were able to sell Wroten high.
Henry Sims – After relegated to the bench, gets back into the starting 5 with 16/8/5 & 12/8/3 over the weekend. Nerlens Noel will be caroling to be back this Thursday for the Sixers next game, so ignore The Sims.
I love Al Jefferson – That is all.
Lance Stephenson – Oh man, what a garbage game-winner! And I’m a semi-Hornets fan! Somehow had his first (and still ONLY) three go in to win in double OT Saturday night, just a horrible bank shot that rattled in, while he’s missed his other 11 attempts. This is getting into Josh Smith territory! Stephenson is absolutely killing you out there, shooting 3-12 yesterday in a horrific loss to the Lakers and yet another game with no steals or blocks. Only helps in two cats – rebounds and assists – while hurting you everywhere else. I’d almost say he’s droppable, but someone will give you something.
Kemba Walker – Turning it around! But the dimes aren’t coming, I dunno if he even gets to a nickel this year. Did fill it up in the big 2OT win Saturday for the near tripdub with a 15/9/10/3/2 rainbow line, then 17/3/4/2/0 last night. Getting right back to draft day value though, so Kemba owners are feeling better!
Gary Neal – Playing over Michael Kidd-Gilchrist down the stretch these days, although MKG got some late minutes guarding Kobe Bryant before second units finished out that travesty of a game. I actually think it’s more of a “when we’re down we want Neal” game plan for the 4th for the O (saw that in the 2OT Saturday game), but he’s played a lot better (and more) than I expected.
Cody Zeller – Impressing me as well, and getting some big run, including 35 on Saturday night. Playing over Marvin Williams when the Hornets want to go bigger, and flashing a great midrange. When I flash my midrange, people get blinded by a pale potbelly.
Jeff Teague – Handed out a huge dimebag in that 2OT fest. 22/4/15 in a busy 44 minutes. Man that game was fun to watch.
Paul Millsap – It’s not falling right now and had a rough 6 TO game Saturday night putting him over 3 a game. Unacceptable! I’d still buy low obviously, love me my Cerebral Paulsy.
Roy Hibbert – Might take a game off to work with Entertainment 720. Where dreams come… They come true! Would be a fun way to spend an off day with his bruised knee; you don’t really need to be mobile to hand people shrimp cocktail off the wall. Might not play tonight against the Jazz, so Ian Mahinmi could be an interesting boards-n-blocks streamer early this week.
Chris Copeland – Can’t cope with him when he’s ice cold! A horrific 1-10 from deep Saturday night and now 1 for his last 14 from outside. “Who left the window open?!” Don’t fret, you can always ThrAGNOF!
C.J. Miles – Maybe one reason to hold Copeland is Miles missing both games over the weekend with a migraine. I don’t blame him, I get headaches when I shoot so many bricks too!
Khris Middleton – Uh oh. Jason Kidd is looking more and more like Larry Drew II. Which is ironic given Drew II was replaced by Kendall Marshall at Chapel Hill! At least I think I have that timeline right… Anyway, the Dutchess K Middleton didn’t get off the throne Friday night then only 12 minutes Saturday. Kidd didn’t even tell Middleton before the game he was gonna give him a DNP! Kidd’s gonna get chased out of Milwaukee with pitchforks in 2016 and Kidd won’t coach in the NBA for years. My prediction. K-Mid = droppable everywhere.
Kendall Marshall – Haha, so gets a start Friday, doesn’t do anything, then back to a DNP Saturday. Effing Larry Drew II.
Brandon Knight – At least the golden boy isn’t being yanked around like Matthew McConaughey’s Don Johnson in Magic Mike. So many dude names in that joke! Time to watch Showgirls. 17/6/9 Friday, then as expected, a slightly down game against the tough Grizz on Saturday for 14/3/6 and 6 TO. Kidd almost lost this game by only playing Knight 23 minutes, but Knight’s and-one won it for the upset. At least there’s that.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – I hope you held on. “Never let go, Jack! I’ll never let go!” 18/2/2/0/1 leading the Bucks in minutes against the Grizzlies Saturday night. Jared Dudley did nothing in 21 starting minutes. His work day is like Peter in Office Space – in a given week he only does 20 minutes of “real work”. Get the Bucks an occupational hypnotherapist!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Where the swipes?! Led the Pistons in scoring Friday with 19, and while he’s in double figures the past 5, no steals in the past 3 and only 3 total through 6 games this year. KCP averaged right at a steal per game in roughly half the minutes in 13-14, so I think the swipes will come. If you don’t need 3s/Pts/Stls, yeah KCP can go to the wire.
Carmelo Anthony – Eeeeek. “Is that American Horror Story on the TV, or the Knicks?” 18-61 the past three games, got it together a little better Saturday night, but the triangle offense is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole with a star fading.
Mason Plumlee – Fairly close with my Dieng love – producing in the low run. 12/10/0/1/1 in only 16 minutes against the Magic. Mason needs to steal Brook Lopez‘s Dr. Scholl’s to get these feet outta whack again. Pretty soon BroLo won’t be gellin’ anymore.
Kevin Garnett – What in the?! 8/7/8 yesterday after getting 8 total assists through the first 5 Nets games. I say to you, yes you looking at Garnett on the wire, “……really?”
Bojan Bogdanovic – I guess this is who KG was feedin’ the rock to! After not topping 12 points in his first 5 career games, 22/6/1/2/0 yesterday getting hot like a Yugoslavian! Hit 9-12 shot, and it was just one of those games… “If only I played the Magic every game!” he quipped to the local Yugoslavian media. In response, Jacques Vaughn vowed he’ll never travel to Yugoslavia, but that might be the most weightless comeback ever…
Kyle Lowry – Triple Double Fridays! Sounds like an Applebees special. 13/10/11 against the Wizards, but cooled off against the Sixers Saturday in an epic blowout. Play him anyway against the Sixers 2nd unit!
DeMar DeRozan – Had about the best 26 minutes of basketball someone could play destroying Philly, going 24/6/2/2/1 shooting 8-12 FG and 8-8 FT. Efficiency king! After a ho hum start with his FT shooting, is now 19-19 the past two games.
What happened to the Wizards starters Friday night?! – All 5 scored in single-digits as Toronto had a steamroller of a weekend. I dunno when that last happened with no starters getting double-digits, I’ll guess it’s fairly rare. About as rare as the Bucks playing the same rotation for a week straight.
The return of Iblocka! – Twas a little concerning that Serge Ibaka had only 3 blocks through the last 5 games, but finally got out the big boy mitts and blocked 4 yesterday. No no no no!
Jeremy Lamb – Got back sooner than expected, back from the back, and will only score 17 points when he plays. 17/3/0 Friday then a very solid 17/9/4 last night. His back issue must’ve been something not too serious as he played 41 minutes in his season debut. Still not too big on my radar as Perry Jones, Anthony Morrow and Andre Roberson should be back soon, even though Roberson sounds like his foot is still gimpy. About to be a wing fest in OKC!
Reggie Jackson – Playing ridiculous, and one of fantasy basketball’s best sell-highs. Russell Westbrook is already taking off his brace and being all Westbrook-ish with the media talking up he’s gonna be ballin’ when back.
Goran Dragic – Why you need to hold on! Hopefully you didn’t prematurely eradicate Dragic; it can be a chronic problem for men over 40. 22/3/4/2/0 Friday night then 19/2/3/3/0 last night, shooting a combined 15-29 and hitting his first four treys of the season. While I did have him ranked too high – concerned with those assists, I think they’re going to fall just short of 5 a game – the %s and steals came roaring back and in both of those game, only one turnover total. If you bought the Dragon low, you’re dancing like a Targaryen!
Isaiah Thomas – Gonna have some duds (3/1/4 Friday), then shine (22/3/7 Sunday). Will be a waffle! I think we should rename him “The Waffle Guy” since he can’t be Pizza anymore… Rotations can be hell!
Eric Bledsoe – Rainbow alert! Friday’s forecast, rainbowy with a 23/5/8/2/2 line. Then disappears Sunday for 9/0/3/0/0. I have a theory – one of the three Suns PG has to have a bad game. Friday was IT2, Sunday EBled. I know, right, that’s such a bold, radical, tough to figure out theory!
Dante Exum – Playing his way onto my radar even in shallowers. Played more minutes than Trey Burke on Friday, then closed out the Jazz win against the Pistons last night. Didn’t have huge games, but 5 assists in both and only one turnover total. Given when he’s on the floor with the starters Gordon Hayward handles a lot of rock, but Burke was awful last night shooting 2-8 and couldn’t defend (5 fouls in 24 minutes as Brandon Jennings was running some game) and Exum is playing much better than I think anyone thought. A PG change should happen sooner rather than later, so if you’re strapped for PG depth and have room, I’m starting to pump the Exum.
Rudy Gobert – Monsieur! L’Rainbow! 8/3/3/2/4 Friday, and what does Ty do to reward him? Plays him only 13 minutes Sunday and he does nada.
LeBron James – “What, we only had 7 assists in that Jazz loss! I gotta fix that!” Hands out a dimebag for 22/7/11/1/1 in a rare Cavs win on Friday. The king hath bounceback!
Randy Foye – Fluke meter is turned up to 11! Huge 28/2/9 in that game against the Cavs, but the Nugs were without Kankles McGoo for this one. Ty Lawson returned for last night’s game, and Foye went back to being Foye for 9/3/1 off the bench.
Kankles McGoo – Seems like he’s just fine, getting 38 minutes and playing well going 18/6/8/2/0. If the shoe fits! Which is might not half the time with those kankles all swolled up.
J.J. Redick – Scored 30 on Saturday, as finally the shots were falling, hitting 11-13. But he’s not doing anyyyyyything else, ThrAGNOF!
Jrue Holiday – Handed out a dimebag! 11 assists Saturday night to only 2 TO, and I have no idea how he was that careful with the ball, you can’t see any of the Spurs in those camo unis! After a slow-ish start in dimes, 20 now in the past two.
Luol Deng – Shock fest 2014! Luol Deng can still play… 30/5/4/1/0 last night, shooting 13-19 and didn’t commit a single TO. Dang! Hit four treys, but before you think this is finally working, 5 rebounds and the 4 assists were BOTH season highs, he had a total of 4 treys through the first 6 Heat games, and I’m not buying. Shucks!
Stephen Curry – Triple double Sunday! Ok, that really sounds like a dessert ice cream bar at Golden Corral. 28/2/10/5/0. And you’re like, “JB is dumb!” 10 turnovers… Curry kept passing it to Thompson on the bench…
#OccupyDraymondGreen – Beast! 22/9/0/1/4 shooting 7-14 (3-7 3PTM 5-5 FT). TO are still an issue (5 in 36 minutes), but 34 minutes or more the past three and David Lee is still out a long while all hamstrung.
Denver Big Man Rotation – J.J. Hickson finally made his season debut and nearly dubdubbed for 8/10/1/0/0 in only 14:33. Did have 4 shots blocked though, as Sons of Anarchy Chris Kaman went nuts for 12/8 and 5 blocks for the Blazers second unit. Owned by the Ka-Man! Jusuf Nurkic got a DNP as Timofey Mozgov was the big winner last night, going 7/16/0/0/3 in a surprise 36 minutes given he hadn’t topped 21 minutes since opening night. You really don’t want any of these guys that much…
Dante Exum (21% owned) – As mentioned above, I think Exum is pushing to take over more PG minutes. If there ever was a game that the Jazz could go up double-digits, it’s tonight against the Pacers. Plus Indiana has only the signed-off-the-street A.J. Price to back up Donald Sloan.
Mike Scott (4% owned) – The ultimate ThrAGNOF, Scott has at least 1 3PTM every game. And while his minutes are fairly low, I have a feeling the Hawks blow out the Knicks after beating them Saturday by 7, yet shooting 40.7% to NY shooting 47.6%. Just a gut call the Hawks run a lot of second unit out there.
I hope everyone had a great weekend, and good luck to ya in week 3!