All units. All units. Be advised. We have reports of a 187 at 7000 Coliseum Way. Subject is armed and considered dangerous. Over. 

Lou Williams is a bad, bad man. No Blake. No Milos. No Rivers. No problemo.


Armed with but a jump shot, Lou single-handedly took down the Warriors, 125-106 in Oakland. Five-Oh. You know what sound that is. Now, he played 35 minutes and had a 39.4 usage rate last night. Here was the rest of the Clippers starting lineup: Jawun Evans, CJ Williams, Wesley Johnson, and DeAndre Jordan. That usage rate seems a little light to me. Obviously, Lou isn’t going to bring out the men in blue every night and Lou will transition back to the bench when the team gets healthy. Regardless, he’s a professional scorer of buckets and will flourish in any capacity. It wouldn’t surprise me if the men in blue make a few more appearances before the end of the season.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Kevin Durant:


Played 31 minutes. Prior to the game, Steve Kerr said that KD would be on a minutes restriction. Tough to do when a 187 is happening.

Tyrone Wallace:


In three games since getting the call, Wallace has played 34, 19, and 31 minutes and scored 22, 11, and 13 points respectively. Doc loves his defense and energy, so there’s a chance he carves out a niche for himself. We shall see how things play out when guys get healthy.

Derrick Favors did not play, so Ekpe Udoh got the start at center and played 31 minutes.


With rumors of Favors getting traded for Nikola Mirotic, Udoh could see an increase in minutes, at least until Rudy Gobert returns.

Ricky Rubio:


Rubio has three double-digit assist games, all of which came during the first week of the season. That is not what we signed up for, which is the same reaction after walking into the local Rubio’s.

Jonas Jerebko got the start at power forward and played 20 minutes.


Remember Andre Kirilenko? Well, Jerebko is Kirilenko with a J, minus the athleticism, steals, and blocks. So, basically the anti-Kirilenko.

Rodney Hood:


Only played 15 minutes, as he was ejected after receiving two technical fouls. Living in the Hood ain’t no joke.

Joe Johnson:


Played 33 minutes. The Price is Right Showcase Showdown perhaps?

John Wall:


Played 42 minutes. High turnover is good in the restaurant business. For basketball? Not so much. I think it’s safe to say that Wall is back, as he’s logged back-to-back games with 42 minutes.

Dennis Schroder:


Dennis was a menace, as he led the Hawks to a 110-97 victory in Denver. He’s not a great shooter from downtown and won’t get his block on, but he scores, does the occassional 211, and drops dimes.

Taurean Prince:


Turnover is good for the royal herum, but not so good on the basketball court. That’s back-to-back solid games for Prince. He’s been very inconsistent this season, but hopefully this is a sign of things to come.

Nikola Jokic:


Seeing those D stats make me all tingly inside. Seeing those shooting percentages make me wanna puke. Stop playing with my emotions, Nikola! No need to be a Joker!

Gary Harris:


Is Harris a ninja? Because that’s the quietest Top 30 performance I’ve seen in a while. 1.9 steals! Definitely a ninja.

Trey Lyles:


So, he doesn’t score 20 points every night. It’s kind of refreshing to see, though, as I now know that he’s actually human. It’s like hearing your girlfriend fart for the first time.

Kenneth Faried:


Played seven minutes. Seriously, why bother? Are the Nuggets trying to showcase him? If so, they are not doing a very good job.

Carmelo Anthony:


Now Melo is just making a shamockery of the situation. One rebound and zero assists? I need to go back and watch the tape for that rebound. Wouldn’t surprise me if a stat correction is coming.

Russell Westbrook:


We are at WESTCOM 2! Repeat….we are now at WESTCOM 2!

Jeff Teague returned from injury and played 26 minutes.


Shouldn’t be long before he’s playing 35 minutes a game again. Sayonara Tyus Jones.

Jimmy Butler:


Butler is 11th in free throw attempts per game with 6.5. Gives him such a high floor. With that said, he was at 8.9 a game last season. You know the guy/gal that folds the towel into animal shapes at the hotel? That was Butler last year. This year? Fold in half. Fold in half again. Voila. Done.

Karl-Anthony Towns:


KAT has played 42 games. He has 34 double-dubs. No gold star at the end of the year, KAT.

Jonathon Simmons:


Played 21 minutes. He’s gone 21, 20, and 15 minutes the past three games and scored seven, three, and three. Simmons was dealing with a back issue. Cancel the subscription!

Aaron Gordon:


Remember when Gordon was shooting 59% from downtown to start the season? Shit, I don’t even remember what I ate for breakfast this morning. Anyways, Gordon has shot 21% from downtown in five 2018 games. Just another gang banger with speed.

Elfrid Payton:


Played 21 minutes. Shelvin Mack played 15 minutes, DJ Augustine played 18 minutes, and Aaron Afflalo played 11 minutes. I believe that entitles Elf to sue for discrimination.

Marreese Speights:


Mo Buckets! Mo Buckets! Mo Buckets! It’s 2018. Why the hell are we still talking about Mo Buckets?

Malcolm Brogdon:


Continues to start at shooting guard and played 37 minutes. Such a solid player. Doesn’t turn the ball over, shoots a high percentage, and contributes in all but blocks.

John Henson:


Double-double. In-N-Out sounds good right about now.

With no Anthony Davis, Dante Cunningham received the start and played 18 minutes.


If I ever consider rostering Cunningham, just send my ass to Dante’s Inferno.

DeMarcus Cousins:


No AD = Boogie all night long.

E’Twaun Moore:


Moore!!!! Top 100 player for fantasy right now. Gentlemen and one lady, this is why they play the games.

JaMychal Green:


I told someone to consider dropping Green the other day. Good job, Son.

Andrew Harrison:


Harrison is not good, but he has multiple games with over 30 minutes and 10+ shot attempts. Things could be worse. You could’ve told someone to drop JaMychal Green before he had a season-best game.

Damian Lillard:


Returned afer missing two games and played 32 minutes. You know what time it is.

Jusuf Nurkic:


Only played 21 minutes. So frustrating, as he can play 38 minutes one night and 21 another. He has skills and can contribute in all but three-pointers. It’s just a matter of minutes.

Ed Davis:


Played 26 minutes after playing 23 minutes the game before. I don’t expect that to be a trend, but it’s something to monitor.

Shabazz Napier:


With the return of Dame, Shabazz gets relegated back to the bench. With that said, he still played 23 minutes.

Trevor Ariza:


There’s glass ceiling. If there were a glass floor, Ariza would be it.

Chris Paul:


The Rockets are in good hands. Stocktonator agrees, as it loved CP3 last night.

Eric Gordon:


Since James Harden has been out, Gordon has dished out 3, 9, 7, 7, and 6 dimes. Prior to that, he was averaging one a game. Like a good neighbor.

Gerald Green:


Trade Harden!!!

Bulls prevailed over the Knicks, 122-119 in double overtime.

Lauri Markkanen:


A true Markksman. Was Dirk eradicated from the Matrix?

Denzel Valentine:


Played 34 minutes. Has received over 30 minutes in four of six games this month and hoisted double-digit shot attempts in five of six. Will never overtake Billy Ray as my favorite Valentine, but he’s in the tier right below.

With Nikola Mirotic out, Bobby Portis only played 19 minutes.


Womp womp.

David Nwaba:


Played 32 minutes. Prior to last night, Nwaba’s minutes had been shaved to around 18 per game. The 32 minutes looks to be an outlier.

Andre Drummond:


Two words. Brooklyn. Nets.

Dwight Buycks:


Played 24 minutes and is the backup point guard to Ish Smith. If you quickly glance at his name, you’d swear that it says Buckets. A closer look reveals Buycks. That’s his fantasy value in a nutshell.

Spencer Dinwiddie:


31 points in 41 minutes two games ago to two points in 26 minutes last night. I feel like a Dinwiddie.

Allen Crabbe:


Back-to-back 20 point games for Crabbe. Is the world going to end and someone forgot to inform me?

Jarrett Allen played 15 minutes, while Jahlil Okafor played 17 minutes. Allen scored four while Okafor was bageled. I forget. Which one was the offensive center again?

Hassan Whiteside:


Played 28 minutes. Mt. Whiteside is ready to explode.

Bam Adebayo, Tyler Johnson, and Wayne Ellington all scored 15 points. Now that’s teamwork. Seven of the eight Heat players scored in double figures, with Derrick Jones Jr. only scoring eight. I smell extra laps and push ups for someone.

With Myles Turner out, Domantas Sabonis got the start and played 31 minutes.


Arvydas lives!!!

Victor Oladipo:


Top 10 player in fantasy. Oladipo Ho! Oladipo Ho!

Corey Joseph:


Played 27 minutes. Unfortunatley, CJ sucks.

Dirk Nowitzki:


Dude is still ballin’. The Matrix must have upgraded it’s hardware because both Dirk and Markkanen had big games. Does not compute. Error. Error. Error.

Yogi Ferrell:


Got the start at shooting guard and played 36 minutes. Yabba dabba doo!!!

Harrison Barnes:


So good, yet so meh.

Dennis Smith Jr.:


Still my boo but I may have to consider DSJ baby boo and Donovan Mitchell boo. Naw, I’m loyal. DSJ will always be my boo, but it’s getting more difficult every day.

Kemba Walker:


You’d think a 40 burger would get some love. Not last night, especially since the Hornets lost 115-111 to the Mavs at home.