Fantasy Basketball: Embiid Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee

Muhammad Ali was one of the greatest athletes of the 20th century. At 6′ 3″, 236 pounds, Ali was a physical giant in his era. The average height/weight of a male in 1960 was 5′ 8″, 166 pounds. In the ring, Ali could physically pummel foes into submission like a rhino, yet he was nimble enough to flutter around the opposition and peck them humming bird style. Wait? Why am I making this difficult? He could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. It was the lyrical flow that unlocked the Pantheon, though. He would talk trash, spit rhymes, and back it all up in the process. Depending on your persepective, it was entertainment or a fly buzzing around your head. Joel Embiid could be the modern day Ali. At 7′ 0″, 260 pounds, he is a giant in his era. The average height/weight of a male in 2018 is 5′ 9″, 195 pounds. Thanks McDonald’s. On the court, Embiid can bully down low in the post or Euro step left and spin cycle right on the perimeter, leaving defenders in a tizzy. Like Ali, Embiid has the lyrical flow, both on and off the court. Man, imagine Ali on Twitter! Like Ali, Embiid walks the walk, backs up all the talk, and is the living embodiment of The Process. For all the messing around he does, though, last night was the first time he messed around…..

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
19	13	10	0	2	2	4/7	6/20	3/4

….and got a triple-double. Beep. Boop. Bop. I was wondering why I saw the Stocktonator watching old clips of Ali with Ice Cube blaring from the speakers yesterday morning. It liked Embiid a lot.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

 

Usually, the cops are called when a player delivers a 50-burger, but last night history was made at Razzball HQ. The Dallas Mavericks defeated the Utah Jazz, 118-68, which was the first time that the Sound of Da Police was brought out for a 50-burger victory. The Jazz scored 13 points in the third quarter and 9 points in the fourth. Unbelievably, the record for the fewest points in a quarter was 2 (DAL in 1997 and GS in 2004). As a result of the 50-burger pasting, Jazz players…..NO BLURBS FOR YOU!!!

What’s even more unbelievable is that no Mavericks player scored 20 points. Eight players received at least 20 minutes of run and two got over 10 minutes, yet only five Mavs scored in double figures. NO BLURBS FOR YOU TOO!!!

Larry Nance Jr.

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	6	5	4	2	3	1/2	3/4	3/5

Got another start and played 26 minutes. If he keeps getting the starts and playing time, we may have to call it Nance Romance time.

Tristan Thompson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
9	8	2	2	1	2	0	3/6	3/6

Only played 19 minutes, yet stuffed the stat sheet. 2018 is a weird year.

Collin Sexton

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
24	3	2	0	0	4	2/3	9/16	4/4

Played a team-high 34 minutes. Over the past four games, Sexton is averaging 35.7 minutes, 18.7 points, 16 shot attempts, 3.5 rebounds, and 2.5 assists. I believe it’s time the Cavaliers stop dying on the George Hill.

Cedi Osman

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
4	5	3	0	1	2	0/3	2/6	0

Returned from injury and played 24 minutes. He should slide back into the starting lineup and continue to tank your field goal percentage.

David Nwaba

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	7	1	2	1	1	0/3	5/8	1/2

Played 29 minutes. The Cavs lost 95-119, so he got blowout run, but Nwaba can stuff the stat sheet if he gets the minutes. Something to monitor going forward.

Otto Porter Jr.

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	4	3	2	0	3	1/3	7/11	0

When do frustrated owners start asking when they can defacate in the Otto Potty Jr.? Bad joke, sorry. 11-game slate last night so my mind is frazzled. By the way, I think OPJ will be fine.

John Wall

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
8	5	9	2	1	3	1/2	3/10	1/1

Only played 21 minutes. Rebuilding the Wall?

Bradley Beal

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
20	3	3	3	0	2	3/10	7/16	3/4

Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola.

Threeecola. Threeecola. Threeecola. 

3 free throws. 3 rebounds, 3 assists. 3 steals. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Zach LaVine

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	9	4	1	0	4	0/2	3/11	4/4

First time all season that LaVine failed to score at least 20 points. He’s played 15 games. Currently, the 30th player according to BM. The only glaring bugaboo is the 4.1 turnovers per game.

Ryan Arcidiacono

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
8	8	3	1	0	1	2/4	3/5	0

Continues to start at point guard and played 31 minutes. Assists, threeecolas, and steals are what you get. Plus, the 59-to-10 turnover rate is bene.

Shaquille Harrison

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
16	6	1	4	0	0	0	7/10	2/2

Played 23 minutes and looks to be the primary backup to Arcidiacono. Ha! I couldn’t write that with a straight face. Anyways, Shaq is not the most efficient shooter from the perimeter. Is that the default setting for the name? His main value comes from steals, but he can deliver some dimes.

Gordon Hayward

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	4	4	3	0	1	1/4	4/12	2/3

Played 29 minutes. He has nice hair.

Jaylen Brown

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
18	6	3	1	0	3	2/4	8/14	0

I guess Brown can do from time to time, instead of just providing doodoo.

Terry Rozier

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
12	4	2	1	0	0	0/5	5/15	2/2

Played 30 minutes. Calm down, Terry stans. The Celtics crushed the Bulls, 111-82.

LaMarcus Aldridge

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	12	0	0	0	2	0/1	3/12	0

LMAO! All one can do is laugh.

Derrick White

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
16	4	3	0	0	5	1/5	6/12	3/4

Mr. White did his job. Now we need to find out why Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Brown, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink didn’t do theirs.

Jakob Poeltl

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
7	9	1	1	2	2	0	2/6	3/4

Played 19 minutes. Not sure if he’s getting playing time because of blowout (Spurs lost 96-116) or if he’s starting to carve out a niche. Y’all know I was high on him coming into the season, as he can deliver those blocks and boards. Keep an eye on his minutes going forward.

TJ Warren

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
27	4	2	3	0	0	3/8	10/17	4/4

Over the past four games, Warren has been a straight G: 39.2 minutes, 25.5 points, 5.5 boards, 1 block, 1.7 steals, 2.7 threeecolas, and 16 shots per game. Let me ride!

Mikal Bridges

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
8	2	0	0	1	0	0/2	4/6	0

Got the start because Trevor Ariza was out for personal issues and played 25 minutes. I could see him carving out a role, so watch the minutes and, obviously, any trades that happen.

Deandre Ayton

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
17	10	3	1	0	1	0/1	8/11	1/1

Ayton County must be inhabited by twins, because it only produces double-dubs.

Isaiah Canaan

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
19	4	1	1	0	2	5/5	7/8	0

Continues to start and played 32 minutes. The answer to your question is no.

Devin Booker

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	4	12	2	0	7	2/6	5/14	1/1

He’s developing into a superstar. Or is he already one?

Kevin Knox

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	5	1	1	0	3	2/7	5/16	3/3

Got the start and played 29 minutes. Led the team in shot attempts. How are he, Porzingis, and Zion going to fit together?

Mitchell Robinson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	1	1	1	3	0	0	3/4	0

Continues to start but only played 18 minutes. The minutes are going to be an issue. Just trade Kanter already! Anyways, he’s still providing boards, blocks, and steals in the limited time he’s playing. In seven games this month, he’s averaging 3 blocks in 22.8 minutes per game.

Emmanuel Mudiay

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
7	1	5	1	1	3	0/2	2/5	3/4

Got the start and played 21 minutes. He sucks.

Allonzo Trier

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	5	1	3	0	4	1/2	4/10	2/3

Played 32 minutes, as the Knicks got blown out, 103-128. If only you could predict when the Knicks would get blown out, you could play Trier. Wait. Duh. Play Trier every night. Checks game log and sees he only played 22 minutes in a game the Knicks lost 89-115. It sounded good for a sec.

Paul George

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
35	7	5	2	1	0	5/11	13/22	4/4

Boy, I’m still curious why George didn’t want to come to LA.

Dennis Schroder

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	4	12	1	1	3	3/5	5/10	2/2

When Westbrook is out, Dennis is a menace.

Terrance Ferguson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
7	6	3	0	0	1	1/4	3/7	0

Continues to start and played 32 minutes. It looks like he is getting more comfortable in his role, but he’s far from being a fantasy asset. Keep an eye on him, though.

Nikola Mirotic

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
16	10	1	1	0	2	2/8	7/14	0

Returned from injury and played 34 minutes. If he was out of sight, out of mind, let me remind you that he’s the 26th player according to BM.

Anthony Davis

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
29	11	2	2	4	0	2/3	9/25	9/10

Played 41 minutes. Cherish every minute he does play, as the next one could be his last. Just keeping it real.

E’Twaun Moore

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
31	4	4	1	0	2	4/8	13/23	1/4

We asked for Moore and Moore is what we got. The 23 shot attempts were a season-high and he’s scored at least 30 points in back-to-back games. Moore please!

Julius Randle

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
3	3	0	0	0	5	0/1	1/4	1/4

Played 14 minutes. It’s either because someone stabbed Julius in the back or foul trouble.

Darius Miller

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
0	1	1	1	0	1	0/1	0/1	0

Yes! Our first binary code line of the year.

Taj Gibson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	4	1	1	1	0	0	4/4	2/4

Got the start and played 28 minutes. Thibs be loving his Taj. I guess it makes sense because the original Taj Mahal was built to illustrate the love story between Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal.

Dario Saric

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
9	3	1	2	0	1	1/2	3/7	2/2

Played 20 minutes. Poor Mario with the D.

Robert Covington

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	7	2	2	1	1	3/7	4/11	2/2

The Lord played 41 minutes in his new manor. Thibs gonna Thibs.

Andrew Wiggins

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
23	6	4	3	1	2	4/9	8/22	3/5

Is it really happening? Wiggins has been providing the D. Has he met a new woman or something?

He definitely has a new woman and she was most definitely in the crowd last night. As much as I’ve shitted on Wiggins in the past, it’s only right that I give him props when he does well. Over the past six games, Wiggins is the 34th player according to BM.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
25	16	3	0	2	5	2/4	9/17	5/5

Hear this KAT roar!

Jeff Teague

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	2	14	1	1	3	1/5	4/13	5/6

It’s always the Butler’s fault!

Jaren Jackson Jr.

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	2	1	2	0	0	1/1	5/8	2/3

Only played 16 minutes due to foul trouble.

Kyle Anderson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	8	5	0	1	2	0	3/5	0

Played 39 minutes. Mr. Anderson is mini me Ben Simmons.

Marc Gasol

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
29	5	2	1	1	5	6/12	10/18	3/5

Gasol has been up and down this season, yet he’s the 23rd player according to BM.

Mike Conley

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
26	2	4	2	0	2	2/6	9/16	6/8

A true MC. Conley has this Grizzlies team at fifth place in the stacked Western Conference and has helped guide the squad to wins over MIL, PHI, DEN, and UTA.

Garrett Temple

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	5	2	2	0	1	1/4	3/9	4/4

Starts and played 38 minutes. Only the devout enjoy entering the Temple, but he plays a ton of minutes and provides threeecolas, boards, and steals with a low turnover rate.

Shelvin Mack

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	6	5	1	0	0	3/6	5/12	2/3

Played 29 minutes. Is averaging close to 28 minutes per game for the month of November (seven games). Mack can provide some points, threeecolas, boards, dimes, and steals. Not many, but enough to make me spend time writing about him.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
31	9	4	1	2	6	0/2	10/14	11/12

Yawn. Wake me when he jumps over a building or something.

Khris Middleton

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
25	5	3	0	0	2	2/7	8/16	7/7

Remember Goldilocks and the three little bears? Well, Middleton is the porridge that’s neither too hot nor too cold, but just right. I mean, the universe is too freaking good. Seriously, what else would we expect from a Middleton.

Eric Bledsoe

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	6	7	2	0	1	1/3	6/11	2/4

He’s rounding into form.

Pat Connaughton

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
16	6	2	2	1	1	2/5	6/9	2/4

Played 27 minutes. The minutes are inconsistent, but when he plays, Connaughton does provide a smattering of boards, dimes, blocks, and threeecolas.

Blake Griffin

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
30	12	3	3	2	5	3/8	13/22	1/2

Holy shit balls! Not one but two blocks! And a stat sheet stuffing performance. Where’s the escalator for Hell? I won’t even bother trying to press the elevator for Heaven.

Langston Galloway

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	2	2	0	0	2	2/5	5/8	1/1

Played 31 minutes. In six games during November, Galloway is averaging 26 minutes, 14.4 points, 3.2 threeecolas on 7 attempts, 4 boards, and 1.8 dimes. A 3 & D without the D player.

Pascal Siakam

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
17	7	2	1	1	1	1/1	8/12	0/1

For the season, Siakam is the 40th player according to BM. Over the past two weeks (seven games), he’s the 20th player. Over the past three games, Siakam is the 8th player. PS….he’s good.

Kawhi Leonard

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
26	9	4	3	0	6	0/2	10/18	6/8

Beep. Boop. Bop. Is that you Stocktonator? At this point, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t a robot. Any of you remember that 1980’s tv show V? If someone pulled off Kawhi’s face Scooby Doo style and underneath was a lizard like in V, I would just nod my head in acknowledgment.

Jonas Valanciunas

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	6	0	0	1	3	0/1	6/12	2/2

Got the start and played 27 minutes. When teams go small or if there is an agile stretch 5, then it’s no time for JV. When there are bruisers down low, then you know the deal. It also helped that Serge Ibaka was not available last night due to knee soreness.

Danny Green left in the third quarter due to lower back tightness. Status is unknown at this time.

Greg Monroe

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
17	9	0	1	0	3	0	8/10	1/2

Played 21 minutes due to the aformentioned Ibaka injury.

Rodney McGruder

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	4	3	1	0	2	0/4	4/9	2/3

Still starting and played 34 minutes, but the shot attempts are way down. It helps that he contributes in other categories.

Hassan Whiteside

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	10	0	2	2	1	0/1	5/10	4/6

Only played 22 minutes, as a result of early foul trouble. Was in line for a monster game.

Tyler Johnson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
24	5	1	0	2	1	2/5	9/12	4/4

Look at the size of that Johnson!

Ed Davis

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
8	9	1	1	0	1	0	3/6	2/2

Jarrett Allen did not play, so Mr. Ed got the start and played 17 minutes.

Jared Dudley

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	5	0	1	1	3	2/4	4/9	0

Continues to start and played 25 minutes. I’m not trying to make him a thing. It’s not my fault that Atkinson continues going to Jared.

D’Angelo Russell

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
12	3	5	1	0	3	0/3	6/18	0

With the Caris LeVert injury, Russell was expected to carry the load, as he had seen the highest usage rate bump in the past. As usual, he disappointed. Still DLoading……

Allen Crabbe

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	1	0	2	0	1	2/4	2/6	0

Got the start for some reason and played 26 minutes. Throw him back into the ocean!

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	9	0	1	1	2	0/1	6/13	2/5

Played 23 minutes. Did go down at the end of the first half from an ankle injury, but was able to come back out in the second half. Whew. Y’all know what day it is. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Rondae!!!!

Spencer Dinwiddie

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
18	3	5	1	0	4	1/5	6/12	5/7

Played 29 minutes. If I’m the Nets, I stop waiting for DLoading and play Dinwiddie. He seems like the much better player to me.

Shabazz Napier

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	2	2	2	0	0	1/3	5/13	2/2

Played 26 minutes. Played 4 minutes the game before, but received 20 minutes of run the game before that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wilson Chandler

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	4	0	1	0	1	2/4	6/10	0

Got the start at power forward and played 23 minutes.

Mike Muscala

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
5	5	2	0	0	2	1/4	2/6	0/2

Played 26 minutes.

I think Chandler and Muscala neuter each other, but it’s a situation to monitor.

Ben Simmons

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
9	3	6	0	1	1	0	3/5	3/5

Simmons had an 11 usage rate last night. As someone wrote on Twitter last night, Simmons is the Chris Bosh of this squad.

Jimmy Butler

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	4	2	0	0	2	0/1	6/12	2/2

Embiid asserted his dominance last night, but Butler ain’t no chump. The dynamic between Embiid, Butler, and Simmons is going to be an interesting one indeed.

Nikola Vucevic

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
30	8	4	2	0	1	3/6	10/19	7/8

Played 39 minutes. I think Vuc enjoys playing against Embiid, as he went bonkers in their other matchup this year: 27/13/12.

Jonathan Isaac

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
4	6	0	0	1	0	0	1/3	2/2

Returned to action and played 16 minutes. I blame Newton for everything. Gravity got Isaac injured and the laws of motion propagated the hype train in the offseason.

Terrence Ross

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	7	1	1	0	2	3/5	6/9	0

Played 31 minutes and is averaging 26.6 since the beginning of the month. All Ross does is deliver the goods….for cheap.

Al-Farouq Aminu

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
18	5	0	0	3	3	4/7	7/11	0

Just a guy that helps you win. 86th player according to BM for the season. Over the past seven games, Aminu is the 38th player. He plays a ton of minutes and provides threeecolas, rebounds, some points, and steals with low turnover rate.

Jusuf Nurkic

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
21	14	1	3	4	0	0	7/13	7/8

Played 35 minutes. So frustrating because this is what Nurkic can do. He just doesn’t do it on a nightly basis. Maybe he needs to watch more Nike commercials?

Damian Lillard

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
31	8	11	0	1	2	3/9	8/23	12/13

Damian Lillard produces heat on the court, while Dame Dolla spits fire off it.

LeBron James

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
44	10	9	1	3	4	5/6	13/19	13/15

Aaaaaalllmost messed around. Everyone take a knee and bow down to the King.

JaVale McGee

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
20	4	0	2	2	1	0	9/12	2/2

Played 24 minutes. Just continues to do what he do.

Brandon Ingram

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
17	2	4	1	0	0	1/3	6/15	4/5

Still in potential phase. Ingram is barely a top 200 player for fantasy.

Lonzo Ball

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	6	3	1	0	2	3/5	4/11	0

Got the start and played 32 minutes. Rajon Rondo played 16 minutes. This is how I think the minutes distribution will be for most of the season. I’m bullish on the fantasy prospects for Ball.