JB – The glitz, the glamour, the Razzies!  Slim we’re back, for the 4th Annual Razzies, I can’t believe we’re now simulcast live on ABC, NBC, and Skinamax!

Slim – Yeah, I dunno how you sold that third one…

JB starts to sheepishly unbutton his tuxedo.

Slim – STOP!

JB buttons it back on…

JB – …Well, simulcast on ABC and NBC then…  The cameras are out, our NBA nominees are arriving on the red carpet as we speak.  Our Razzies are backstage with THE CORRECT award cards set up by our PAs for each 16-17 Razzies, with the Razzie awarded to each esteemed winner by your votes.  There’s Chandler Parsons sporting a walking cane, I guess there’s no hope that it was all an act and he goes into a front somersault like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka, right?!

Slim – …I’m surprised he’s not in a wheelchair…  Ohhhh, entering in the west entrance, let’s hope he can fit that hat in under the doorway!  It’s…  Coach Asshat!

JB – Nice spot Slim, yes Coach Asshat looks like a total Mess, fitting for his season, I just love this time of year!

Slim – Speaking of love, remember last year when I showed you some pictures of Gary Harris I was hoping he would see, this time I have a video!

Slim pulls out his phone [NOT an iPhone!], and starts playing a video.  There is so.  Much.  Hair!

JB – No!  NO!  Make it stop!  Well, we got Skinamax back, but lost ABC and NBC, 1 outta 3 ain’t bad!  Speaking of, there’s Andre Drummond!  Waving at the crowd, shoulder hair busting through his tuxedo.  What a illustrious night.  Slim, I think everyone has about filed away into our ballroom, Let’s award some Razzies!

Slim is disgustingly still holding his phone up to the camera.  JB just shakes his head…

The Razzies are back!  Man, JB almost gets the Razzie for “Tardiness of the Year”!  Hey, better late than never!

Hard to believe this our fourth year awarding Razzies to the worst of the worst.  Screw all the “season’s best” awards everyone else likes to give out!  That’s trash!  Fantasy is more frustrating than it is rewarding, we all know that!  Let’s take a moment to look back at some of our former winners; so in your head, sing some dramatic music while looking back at our infamous acceptance speeches from our previous seasons:

2013-14 Razzies

2014-15 Razzies

2015-16 Razzies

And for our nominees below, they only need your vote to get their very own awards!  We’ve got Kevin Durant looking at his second “worst injury” award, the Lakers going for back-to-back worst fantasy team wins…  They’re getting repeats like the Kobe Bryant glory years!

So we call on you – yes, you Razzball Nation – to again vote for the worst of the worst of the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season, by voting on which players, teams, and coaches spurned you the hardest.  We’ll be having our Awards Ceremony (winners awards solely off of your votes) and acceptance speeches on Tuesday, so get your votes in over the weekend!  Vote once!  Vote often!  Have your voice be heard, and let’s award some Razzies!

JB – The 3rd Annual Razzies are here! With the growing success from the 2013-14 Razzies and the 2014-15 Razzies, all of Hollywood is here for the event, traffic is blocked off in all directions, this is the ONLY place to be if you’re any sort of famous, isn’t that right Slim?!

Slim – …You’re not famous.

JB – Oh OK, just because you’re a national treasure in Australia and all I do is run this fubar Razzball Basketball outfit it makes you more famous than me?!

Slim just subtly shakes his head, with just enough of a menacing look…

JB – Anyyyyyyyyyyyway, all of the NBA world is here tonight, because even though the season is still going on, no one important is still playing isn’t that right Slim?!

Slim – Warriors are still rollin’ em out there!

JB starts stroking Slim’s beard again

JB – You’re smart…

Slim – Dammit, are you gonna do this EVERY friggin’ time at these things?!

[Reposting to the top as polls close tonight! Be sure and submit your votes, and if you’ve already voted – hell, submit em one more time, two more times, a million more times while voting is up! Let’s win us some Razzies!]

The 3rd Annual Razzies are upon us! The 2013-14 Razzies and the 2014-15 Razzies were such big successes that we’re in negotiations with TNT for broadcast rights to the 4th Annual Razzies next year. It’s a flat out bidding war!

Sometimes our only outlet to absolutely-crushing injuries and inept misery in fantasy basketball is to look forward to an award ceremony celebrating the worst of the worst. The scrubbiest of the scrubs. The schlubbiest of the schlubs. This has quickly started to sound like a Yiddish vocal exercise. You know what they say – the Jews run Hollywood! Where’s Slim’s pronunciation of C.J. McCollum when you need it!

Our decorated panel has painstakingly put together their nominations for our Razzie categories below, and we went out and interviewed every last one of the nominees for their reactions. Hey, if we can interview Nick Van Exel, we can do anything! We rely on YOU Razzball Nation, to vote for each of the categories to lay claim to the most frustrating players/coaches/teams of 2015-16. Polls will be open until Tuesday night (April 4), so vent your catharsis into the voting booth, which we all know you’re going to have to do for the Presidential election later this year… There’s another worst of the worst! So vote once, vote several times, vote as much as you’d like, and let’s get pumped to hand out some Razzies next Thursday morning!

JB – We’re back with our second annual NBA Razzies, awarding the worst of the worst from the 2014-15 NBA Season!  Last year’s ceremony was a pop culture sensation, a slamming of the dysfunctional Bucks and the [former] Luminescent Lithuanian.  Speaking of luminescent, I’m here with Slim who looks radiant.  What is that, some Oil of Olay exfoliant you’ve been using lately?

Slim – Really…?  I mean, that’s my intro…?  Really…?

JB – Yes, “really” as in I’m “really” happy with the turnout at the polls, as many of you patriotic citizens of Razzball Nation made your voices be heard in our 8 categories to be awarded tonight.  And I have to say Slim, I got a sneak peek of the results, and I have to agree with most of our winners.  Razzball Nation is so wise!

JB begins stroking Slim’s beard

JB – How did YOU get to be so wise, Slim?

uncomfortable pause

Slim – I’ve got to sit here and put up with this AND do a Podcast with you in a few hours?!  I’m firing my agent…

JB – …Speaking of firing, Brian Shaw is here!  Donning a “please hire me, seriously ANYONE!” suit made by the fine tailors of Larry Drew.

Slim – Yes and Michael Carter-Williams is here, excited for tonight’s festivities as he’s up for multiple awards. I’m really having trouble figuring out what he’s showcasing on the red carpet…  Looks like he’s in 4 XL jacket, but his pants barely go past his knees…

JB – Yup, that MCW has never been good with his ratios, Slim!

Slim – Correct you are JB, and with that, it looks like we’re ready to hand out our first award, so let’s tune in to the stage and start awarding our second annual Razzies:

[Reposting to the top!  Remember, polls close on Saturday night, so be sure and get your votes in for the 14-15 Razzies!]

The Razzies are back!  You’d think we’d want to distinguish the best across the NBA with our annual awards show, but where is the fun in that?!  Especially after this past month of injuries, DNPs, and tanking buffoonery.  Buffoonery I say!  So the second annual 2014-2015 NBA Razzies are here, a year after our debut awards gala.  Who could forget all our Larry Drew bashing?!  Our decorated awards panel have painstakingly put together the candidates for the prestigious Razzies, and once again, the results are voted on by you Razzball Nation!  Polls will be closed at the end of this Saturday night on April 4th, and we’ll release the winners in our awards ceremony next Tuesday.  We have 8 awards to bestow in the wall of shame, so vote once, vote often, and let your voice be heard Razzball Nation!

JB – Welcome to the first annual 2013-2014 NBA Razzies!  A celebration and a spectacle of everything that went wrong for fantasy owners in the 2013-2014 NBA season.  We opened polls for fantasy owners to submit their votes on deserving nominees, and the tallies are in, the nominees are here, there really isn’t a more spectacular night for NBA fans, is there Slim?

Slim – That’s right JB, the entire Sydney Opera House is teeming with excitement as we welcome in the nominees, celebrities… I just talked with Jack Nicholson a moment ago, so glad he could make it out to support his Lakers.

JB – You know, I was surprised we could book this at the Sydney Opera House – –

Slim – Don’t doubt the straws I can pull in my native country!

Awkward Silence

The 2013-2014 NBA Razzies are here!  The first annual Razzball Basketball Razzie awards have just been nominated, distinguishing the worst players, coaches, and franchises that hurt fantasy players this year.  The esteemed panel have gone through rigorous nomination sampling, but we bequeath onto you the final judgment!  So vote in each of our 8 categories below, with the awards ceremony and acceptance speeches next Friday.  Polls will close Wednesday night, so vote once, vote often, make your voice be heard Razzball Nation!