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Even though he looks exactly like the youngest kid from Malcolm in the Middle, Steve Blake is playing like an NBA PG in the top.  Last night’s 16 Asts gives him 10+ in four straight, and starting to remind us of Chris Paul who has started the year with the ten straight 10+ dime games.  You can’t go anywhere in LA without someone trying to give you a dimebag!  I think that’s going to be a new term I’m going to add into the Razzball lexicon, 10+ assists equals a dimebag.  As in, “the Lakers got so high last night with Steve Blake handing out a dimebag!”  Pretty soon it won’t even be a crime anywhere.  Rasheed Wallace is like, “man I played at the wrong time!” Blake is an obvious must-own in all leagues, and I think will be all year.  He’s been D-Antoni-ed. Here’s what else I saw across fantasy hoops over the weekend:

Josh Smith – Even Nicolas Batum was tweeting about Smith’s Friday stat line!  21/8/7/5/4.  Super double rainbow line!  I don’t think that’s ever happened since I’ve taken over the Razz reigns.  Is there two pots of gold at the end of the double rainbow?  Fantasy reactions were like that Youtube video of the guy seeing double rainbows.  And this line was after a dud, then more-or-less goose egg in the games before.  Followed it up with 18/8/3/2/1 last night.

Jordan Hill – A career-high 24 points and a career-high 17 boards.  Another D-Antoni-ed!  Marks four straight great games and four straight 26 minutes+.  Must-own more-or-less everywhere.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Starting line-up baby!  Ok, so he’s done nothing and Rodney Stuckey is playing out the crucial minutes down the stretch.  But I still like KCP and the backcourt of he and BJ has some ridiculous initialized upside.

Marc Gasol – Hola, hola!  Gigante… ummm.. statisticos?  Yeah I’m too lazy to Google Translate that.  A stat line of 19/8/9 on Sunday after a Friday 18/8/8 line.  And you know what?  The former 3-5 Grizz are now 5-5 in those two games.  Look for a lot of plays to keep running through Marc.

Terrence Jones – With Omer Asik trying to out duel Andrea Bargnani for my “Il Diva” nickname with his trade demands, TJ is rocking (see what I did there!) out with the big man stats of 14/12/2/1/3 on Saturday night.  By the time I wrote that blurb to 30 minutes later, Asik now is saying he wants to play and has talked to McHale, GM, and players… in, ummm, Turkish I guess?  This is like The Real HouseRockets of Houston.  Jones is gonna bitch slap Asik for trying to “steal my spotlight!”  What a mess.  Hopefully Asik gets traded sooner rather than later.

DeJuan Blair – Playing like his Spurs starting days!  In 25 minutes, 7-9 18/5/2/2/1 on Saturday.  He’s best asset is the boarding, but he’s at a shocking 2.2 steals per contest right now.  Boggling!  He can rack up the cleanup big minutes as they come.  Definitely into 14-teamer considerations right now, maybe even in 12s if you need boards and steals.

Arron Afflalo – Just won’t cool off.  Dude, I used to love Afflalo back in the Denver days, but he’s just no fun on the Magic.  Let the kids play!

Kyrie Irving A 41-burger Saturday night!  41/4/5/2.  @ThisIsUncleDrew.

Martell Webster – Got the start, and while he didn’t play particularly well, went for 43 minutes into the OT for 14/7/1/1/0 shooting 4-12.  Webster is getting a few more starts with Trevor Ariza on the long list of guys missing time with hammies, and still worth owning in 12-teamers for a stretch.

Nene The Brazilian Steakhouse is sizzzzzzzlin!  After his worst game last Wednesday, followed up with a big 24/7/2/1/2 near rainbow line Saturday.  Not hittin’ the freebies, but riffing the multi-cat like the Denver glory days.  Worth being sure he’s owned (67.8% ESPN, 66% Yahoo).

Josh McRoberts – Shot a nasty 3-10 including nothing but bricks in 6 deep shots, but 6/7/8.  You love the multi-cat, but I feel like he’s either awful all-around, or awful offensively and can rock a multi-cat.  Still no Al Jefferson, so McBob isn’t really a must own in virtually any leagues.  I think Big Al can produce and be healthy.

James Anderson – Has gone back to being James Anderson.

Tony Wroten – Everyone’s favorite last name pun is actually maintaining some value after the ridiculous triple-double debut.  22/6 and 19/3/2/3 over the weekend.  Michael Carter-Williams is steal dealing with a sore foot, probably with the added weight of so many letter sewn on his jersey, and could sit out a little while longer.  Wroten is worth an add in all leagues in this stretch.

Ryan Anderson – Welcome back!  Played 27 minutes in his debut, shooting 10-16 including a redonk 6-10 from deep.  26 Pts but only 1 board an 1 Stl added to the stat sheet.  Regardless, obviously needs to be owned in all leagues as impatient owners may have cut the chord prenataly.  Be sure he’s owned.

Anthony Davis – Eight blocks?!  Brow angry!  Brow no like Thaddeus Young!

Atlanta Hawks – Had 8 guys in double figures on Saturday night.  Sharing is caring!  But Teague only got one assist!  Say whaaaa!?  Shelvin Mack was the one dealin’ handing out a nice dimebag of 12!  Dennis Shroder was suspended, but Mack’s solid play crowds up the joint a bit.

Lou Williams Returned to action on Friday night for 7/3/2/1/0 in 16:01.  Sat out Saturday not to overwork that ACL-repaired knee.  Just good to see him back on the court.  Worth monitoring.

Paul George – Everyone loved to yell at me for having George out of my first round, and his multi-cats have been cooling off to an ice cold 12/6/2 line on Saturday shooting 3-14.  Of course you’re allowed to have a bad game, but George is still a real-life superstar and not quite a fantasy no-brainer first rounder to me.

Derrick Rose – Thank God he’s back!  Still not shooting well (7-16) but hit 6 treys for 20/3/4.  I think you’re just happy he’s back.

Ty Lawson – 28/2/17.  “Time to kick your tires and light your fires!”  Wait, is that the line from Aliens?  I definitely know “Game over man!  Game over!”  That sound byte from Bill Paxton is how I feel about a few of my teams already.

Wilson Chandler – His hammy must be feeling good, getting another 29 minutes on Saturday to starter Jordan Hamilton‘s 15.  Chandler a solid 14/3/1 no TOs and two treys.  Will only get better.  Be sure he’s scooped up.

Donatas Motiejunas – A surprise 17 minutes on Saturday for 12/3/1/1/1.  If Asik is indeed back in the rotation, this is just a rando-blip.

Dwight Howard – Made more free throws in 24 attempts than Chapel Hill could make against Belmont yesterday in 48 attempts.  Ok, not quite true, but sad Dwight was close with 17 to UNC’s pathetic 22 in the upset home loss.

Olynyk of Nazareth vs. Vitor Faverani – The jumbo Brazilian against the most important historical figure in history goes to… Brazilian!  Vitor with a shocking 27 minutes, a start, and 9/14/1/3/4 and two threes.  What the hey?!  Olynyk in turn goes 6/2 in 15 minutes off the bench.  What the eff is going on?!  Faverani has much more value than Olynyk if he was ever given the full-time gig, but as I’ve been saying since Olynyk got surprising minutes, I want none of this.

Avery Bradley – 27 points?!  And Jeff Green, the only real sure-fire fantasy option had 2.  How this team is 4-7 is beyond me.  What a mess.

Minnesota Backup Bigs – Uh oh, Derrick Williams fans – just 3 minutes off the bench in a blowout win.  To be fair, he is coming off back spasms, but with Chase Budinger to return in probably 3-4 weeks, he’s safe to lose in all leagues.  Dante Cunningham got 28 minutes on Saturday for 12/4/3 and Robbie Hummel got a surprise 21 minutes for 8/5/1.  I think Cunningham could have solid value in 16+ deep leagues.

Khris Middleton – Another rocky start, but Caron Butler still has a bum shoulder and KMid will continue to get run.  I like K Middleton’s versatility, as does Prince Harry.  14/2/1/1/0 in 32 minutes against the Thunder on Saturday and two threes.

Zaza Pachulia – You kidding me Zaza?  I remember on Friday night looking over at my buddy doing the Bucks highlights and I was like, “how the eff is Zaza Pachulia 2-12?!”  And then he ended 2-14.  Then, whewwww-eee, shot up that field goal percentage with a hugely efficient 3-13 Saturday night!  Has Zaza seen himself shoot?  Yikes, Bucks are a mess.  And after hitting a deer this past week on the interstate, I hate Bucks everywhere.

Ekpe Udoh – The knee must be feeling better!  A double-double 11/11/2/0/2 line on Saturday in a whopping 39 minutes.  All the bigs are hurt, so I semi buy this as a deep league option.  Didn’t I just say I hated all Bucks!?  Dammit principles!

Luke Ridnour – Had his season debut Friday, and apparently Zaza is trying to show Ridnour some jumper tips as he’s gone 2-6 then 1-4 on Saturday.  I wish I could personally massage Brandon Knight‘s hamstring to get him back on the court…  I have the magic touch!  Wow, late night crown and coke talking… Thanks again DanThePoorMetFan!  I got the Maple though, it was on sale.  Hope that’s cool…

Jermaine O’Neal – Took a nasty fall, spraining his knee, his groin, and hit the Life Alert button right away.  He’s gonna be out a while.  Marreese Speights is in line to get extended run as the only true big off the bench.  I’m excited!  I get to go “the ace of Speighttttsssss!!!!” a lot more often now.

Deron Williams – Uh oh.  Another ankle injury.  You know, I moved him down in my ranks and I was avoiding at all costs, but I didn’t move him down nearly enough.  Looks like it’ll be at least 3-5 more games.

Shaun Livingston – A must own the next few games.  Shot a putrid 4-14 on Saturday, but a 11/5/5/2/0 line.  He looked good in the preseason too.

Mason Plumlee These Plumlee brothers and their fleeting upside!  If I was a Duke fan, I’d be going nuts right now.  But Brook Lopez has an ankle injury as well and Kevin Garnett sat out, aiding Mason’s 7-10 19/6/0/1/1 line.  A short-term streamer, sure, but not seeing much long-term upside for this season.

Blake Griffin – Those who reached are getting paid off.  30/12/2/0/1.  Woop Woop!

DeAndre JordanDoc has figured out how to DJ.  Next he’ll be manning the turntable at Kanye & Kim’s wedding.  9/16 and 5 blocks for the big man.  He hath been unlocked.

Jonas Valanciunas – A Luminescent Lithuanian sighting!  A shining line of 8-11 (3-3 FT) 19/9 and a block.  Imagine what he could do, if say, the Raptors wingers weren’t shooting, I dunno I’ll make up a preposterous number of 27 shots each every game!  Oh wait, DeMar DeRozan and Rudy Gay did just that yesterday… #TradeGayAndFreeTheLL!!!!!

Shaq-ramento Kings – I dunno if I’ve ever seen a starting lineup get fewer minutes, at only 84 minutes for the starters yesterday.  Who is coaching this team, Brad Stevens?!  DeMarcus Cousins got only 18:10 and didn’t even do anything stupid!  At least, I don’t think…

Brandon Jennings – 23/5/14.  Helllloooo Shirley!  I just know that from Super Troopers… Settling into the new squad.

Dion Waiters – Hmmmm, interesting story coming out that Waiters has disappeared from the team after being called out in a players-only meeting.  The big takeaway is it should mean big minutes for Wahhhhhhh!!!! I’m Jarrett Jack (probably who called out Waiters) and Matthew Dellavedova, who got 31 minutes on Saturday.  He didn’t do much at 2/6/2, but worth noting.  Interesting tidbit, don’t typo “noting” as “nothing” because if you miss it in the proofread, they’re opposites!

 

Next Game: I’ve got Sixers @ Mavs tonight.  Excited to see Tony Wroten in action, who I haven’t seen yet.  Hopefully everyone has seen solid lines from their guys thus far and good luck in week 4!