First things first. Happy New Year to everyone! For myself, long gone are the days of trying to time orgasms with my wife at the stroke of midnight. Now, the orgasm comes from getting the kids to sleep. There’s no mess or slipping one by the goalie! Anyways, I hope you all had a good holiday season and are ready to usher in 2018. Wishing you all prosperity for the new year. With all that said, let’s get it on!
I flew to the Wrong Coast for the holidays. To this day, it still boggles my mind that we are able to fly in the air. Keep in mind, that I still can’t fully comprehend how a bunch of 0’s and 1’s allow me to do what I’m doing right now. So, flying to outer space? Fugget about it. I even watched a ton of Robotech as a kid and still….As a result, whenever I hear or read about the Apollo 13 mission, my brain pretty much explodes. A spacecraft was launched back in 1970! To fly to the moon! But a few days after launch, there was an explosion that crippled the craft, which prompted the “Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” Only by channeling their inner MacGyver, were the crew and craft able to return safely to Earth. James Harden of the Houston Rockets boggles my mind. He mesmerizes defenders with his dribble like what snakes do with their prey, and always gets them to reach so he can blow by them. His step back J allows him to get his shot up over any defender. Last night in a double overtime game against the Lakers, Harden went:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 40 | 2 | 11 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3/8 | 10/20 | 17/21 |
Mind boggled. But….”Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” Harden left the game in the fourth quarter with a hamstring injury. Ruh oh. We will have to keep an eye on the situation, like “CSI at scene” eye. Chris Paul should see a massive uptick in usage, while Eric Gordon and newly acquired Gerald Green should both see more minutes.
Here’s what else I saw last night:
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| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 28 | 6 | 10 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3/10 | 8/20 | 9/9 |
In games without Harden on the floor, CP3 has received an 8% usage bump. Like a good neighbor, Chris Paul was there.
Trevor Ariza:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 6/10 | 9/15 | 2/2 |
Played a team-high 45 minutes. Did someone turn fatigue off? Much of his value (top 40 currently) comes from his efficiency and taking care of the ball, but he does contribute a little something something in all but blocks.
Gerald Green:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 2/4 | 4/7 | 0 |
Played 22 minutes and should get more run if Harden misses an extended period of time. Green has always been the nature of the nature vs nurture for the NBA. Physical tools out the wazoo, but never refined the technical aspects of the game. The uptempo style of the Rockets is a good place for him. If he gets minutes, he could thrive.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 29 | 15 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 13/19 | 3/6 |
Got the start at center and played 33 minutes. The Forrest Gump of fantasy. Never know what you’re going to get. More specifically, never know the minutes that Walton will give him. He’s super skilled, and for a big man, is a nightly triple-dub threat. There have been issues regarding his defense, though, which has messed with his playing time.
Tyler Ennis:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 4 | 11 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0/3 | 8/18 | 4/5 |
Played 45 minutes, as both Lonzo Ball and KCP did not play. He’s a fine streaming option, as he has skills, but will be put back into his place when Zo and KCP return.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 6 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4/7 | 9/13 | 4/8 |
Started in place of KCP at shooting guard and played 37 minutes. Hart is tough, hustles, and has a decent J from outside. As with Ennis, a viable streaming option when KCP is out.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 19 | 7 | 11 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1/5 | 8/17 | 2/2 |
Man, I totally Dunn F’d up by dismissing him in the preseason. To my credit, though, I flipped and was Dunn with that stupidity. That will be my New Year’s resolution. Stop being a dummy. Ha! I have a better chance losing the 40 pounds I probably need to lose.
Nikola Mirotic:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 4 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 3/8 | 8/15 | 2/2 |
Some guys get motivation from playing in front of the women. Others see the “guy” holding up a picture of his family making the “cut throat” gesture. Mirotic has Bobby Portis. “Yo, Nikola. You better ball out tonight or I’m gonna F you up.”
David Nwaba:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 11 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3/6 | 5/8 |
Won’t shoot much, but will contribute across the board. Has been seeing around 25 minutes per game, so if you need someone that has a brain and doesn’t pursue human flesh, then Nwaba is your man.
Marcin Gortat:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 8 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 4/6 | 0 |
Played 25 minutes and was neutered by Robin Lopez. That should be grounds for suspension.
Bradley Beal almost messed around.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 39 | 9 | 9 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 7/13 | 16/29 | 0/2 |
Would this line make an OCD’s head explode?
Mike Scott:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3/5 | 7/11 | 0 |
Returned to action and played 27 minutes, the most since December 17th. Great Scott! Mike is an excellent scorer for the second unit and jacks up shots when he’s on the floor. As long as he gets minutes, he can be productive.
Jimmy Butler scored 26, while Karl-Anthony Towns went 18/14. Ho hum. Remember when newspapers used to get thrown from a car or kid’s bike to your door in the morning? No? Cross my heart and hope to die, that really used to happen. Well, there was no predictability in where the newspaper would end up. Sometimes it would be right in front of the door. Other times it would be on the grass. Butler and KAT are more like “the news delivered to your email inbox every morning.” Every night, the same line. Stocktonator loves his matchup with the Lakers today, so maybe we get a ceiling game from him.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 6 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0/1 | 3/6 | 0 |
Doesn’t shoot much, but provides in the ancillary categories. Only played 27 minutes yesterday, but I think that was more a product of the Wolves blowing out the Pacers.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0/1 | 0/5 | 1/1 |
Played 19 minutes and wished he could blame it on injury or the weather or diarrhea. You know that song “I would walk 500 miles?” Well, I wouldn’t walk .000000001 Myles to watch him play right now.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 8 | 11 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0/2 | 3/10 | 2/3 |
Played 29 minutes. Still think he needs an injury to make an impact, but Young and Myles have been bad, so…..Keep an eye on the situation like, “security at a Raiders game” eye.
Joe Young:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 20 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3/4 | 7/11 | 3/3 |
Played 24 minutes. He had played 12 and 13 minutes the prior two games. The increase in minutes was most likely due to the blowout nature of the game.
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 22 | 12 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0/2 | 10/21 | 2/4 |
I look forward to days when Rondae plays well. For one, I enjoy his game and like seeing him succeed. Secondly, I enjoy the countdown: Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Rondae!!!!
Allen Crabbe:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2/10 | 4/13 | 2/2 |
I’m a lobster guy. Getting meat from crab is such a cumbersome process for so little reward. With that said, Crabbe hasn’t been playing great, but he’s still hoisting up a ton of shots and getting minutes. As long as those two things continue happening, good times will happen. Crabbe is too good of a shooter.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 2/3 | 5/12 | 4/5 |
Played 30 minutes and is the main guy off the bench. When he’s on the floor, he’s handling the ball and running the offense. For you Game of Throne fans, remember the Hold the Door….Hol the Door….Ho the Door….Ho Door….Hodor? Damn it, I’ve got something stuck in my eye. Well, how about Caris…Ca R S…K R S….Hmph. That didn’t turn out how it was supposed to. Anyways, is it a coincidence that Caris sounds like KRS, who is one of my all-time rappers? Yeah, probably coincidence but I tried.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 28 | 8 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 4/10 | 10/21 | 4/4 |
The assists were a little FLAT, but an all-ROUND game.
The Celtics are annoying from a fantasy perspective outside of Kyrie and maybe Horford. They would need some guys to go down for there to be significant impact.
Dallas scored 116 points with only one player scoring over 20 points (Harrison Barnes with 24) and only three others scoring in double figures (Nowitzki, DSJ, and JJ). 10 players received at least 15 minutes of run.
JJ Barea:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 7 | 11 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2/4 | 5/9 | 0 |
Played 25 minutes. I ceased to be amazed with the exploits of JJ a long time ago. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I have more confidence in JJ than I have in myself.
Russell Westbrook messed around.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 38 | 15 | 11 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0/4 | 17/28 | 4/7 |
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 25 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 4/7 | 6/12 | 9/11 |
Returned from injury and played 35 minutes. When he comes to the Lakers, I hope to see the R rated version.
Marvin Williams:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0/3 | 0/6 | 0 |
That’s back-to-back bagels for Williams. “Yo, Marvin! I’m starving for some production!” Ever driven drunk? The road sure does move a lot. That’s what Marvin’s fantasy production is like. All over the place. This message was sponsored by Uber, Lyft, and MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). As B.A. Baracus once said, “I pity the fool that drives drunk to look cool!” He didn’t really say that but I’d imagine that he would.
Dwight Howard:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 4 | 10 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 0/1 | 1/9 | 2/2 |
Damn, Kobe doesn’t even need to be in the building to make Dwight shake. Just two, oversized jerseys on the wall is all it takes? Maybe it’s not even the jerseys. Maybe he just sees, smells, and hears him all throughout the stadium. Poor Dwight.
Frank Kaminsky:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 8 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 2/4 | 6/12 | 2/2 |
With Dwight scared of his own shadow, the heavy armor (Frank the Tank) was called into battle. I know Frank the Tank is for Old School and not for tanks, but I don’t care. Just go with me on this one. Ready? That’s it.
Kemba Walker:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 30 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4/10 | 11/21 | 4/7 |
Kemba ain’t afraid of no ghost.
Blake Griffin:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 25 | 7 | 6 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 2/6 | 9/17 | 5/6 |
Boy, was I wrong about Blake. I didn’t expect him back so soon, and he’s looked fantastic. I still do worry about the Clips shutting him down later in the season and another injury, but I’m not scared like how Dwight was scared of Kobe’s ghost. Blake is even blocking shots now!!! He must’ve received an upgrade when they recalibrated his OS.
Lou Williams:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 40 | 2 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 6/9 | 12/21 | 10/11 |
Olde English malt liquor. The good ole 40 ounce. Sweet? No, but Lou sure is. With Austin Rivers out, his usage should tick up.
Marc Gasol:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 7 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 1/4 | 3/9 | 0/2 |
Only played 24 minutes due to the blowout nature of the game. Please put that seppuku blade away.
Tyreke Evans:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 7 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 5/7 | 10/16 | 1/1 |
Who’s going to capitulate first? Those saying to sell Tyreke or those that keep buying bitcoin?
The Grizzlies have scored at least 100 points in 13 games this season. They’ve played 37 games. They beat the Kings 114-96 last night. It got so bad that Mario Chalmers played 13 minutes.
Willie Cauley-Stein:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 8 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 8/14 | 5/9 |
Played 29 minutes. Free Willie!!!
Frank Mason left the game due to a heel injury. With De’Aaron Fox still out, that should theoretically give more minutes to George Hill, but who knows. The Kings played 13 players last night. I think Vivek and Vlade were gifted a Ouija Board for the holidays. That’s how they determine who starts and gets minutes.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 27 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 4/5 | 9/13 | 5/5 |
Dario from the Barrio ain’t no poser. Has scored at least 20 points in three straight games and contributed across the board.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 9 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 0 | 7/11 | 7/11 |
His shooting line fits perfectly for this game because they Suns leave everyone open. I still worry about Simmons, as his shot and aggressiveness are lacking. His skills are good enough against teams like the Suns, but not against the upper tier ones.
Marquese Chriss:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 7 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 2/3 | 4/6 | 2/3 |
Has been playing well as of late. Still not getting a ton of run, but he’s been productive. We know he can get hot for extended stretches, so it’s probably prudent to acquire his services. That way you won’t feel left out when he plays like crap and we all scream, “Jesus F’ing Chriss!!!”
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 32 | 5 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 5/10 | 8/22 | 11/12 |
Has scored 32, 26, and 32 points since returning from injury. That doctor? No need to Booker.
Josh Jackson:
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0/2 | 2/10 | 2/3 |
Remember what I wrote about Gerald Green? Nature vs nurture? We may have another example here with JJ. Has all the physical tools for success. Can he learn the technical aspects of the game?
