Vince Carter was the #5 overall pick waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1998. This is his 23rd season in the NBA! 7-Eleven has nothing on him because it closes from Eleven to 7. Half-man, Half-amazing? Naw. All man, All amazing! Last night was just another reiteration of that fact:


Played 26 minutes off the bench and led the Hawks in points! He’s 42 freaking years old! For you inquiring minds, he’d need to play a few more years to hold the title of the oldest player to ever play in an NBA game. Nat Kickey was 45 years, 363 days old when he played two games in 1947. That shouldn’t count but it does. For someone a little more relevant, Kevin Willis played five games during the 2006 season at the ripe age of 44 years, 224 days. Now, this lede is basically an homage to the awesomeness of Vince Carter, but he’s actually been a fantasy asset. Over the past four games, he’s averaged 27.4 minutes, 13.5 points, 3.5 tres, 3.3 boards, 2.3 dimes, 0.8 steals, and 0.5 blocks! Good for top 85 value. Granted, the Hawks are banged up, as John Collins, Taurean Prince, and Omari Spellman have been out due to injury, yet……Nothing but amazing.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Dwight Powell


Got the start, the fourth consecutive, and played 32 minutes. DP has been NSFW! Over the past five games, he’s averaged 32.1 minutes, 16.2 points, 1 tres, 7 boards, 3.2 dimes, and 1.2 steals. The blocks are light, which is somewhat disappointing for a big man, but he’s providing those tres and excellent percentages (58% from the field and 76% from the line on 4.2 attempts).

Luka Doncic


Even the Lord had to rest for one day.

Tim Hardaway Jr.


7 out! Those Hardaway bets always get me, but I keep going back for more.

The Mavs got spanked, 88-127 in Brooklyn, so Powell was the only player to receive over 30 minutes of run. It got so bad that Ryan Broekhoff played 19 minutes. Who’s that you say? While working on a story many years ago about the Alcor Life Extensions Foundation, Tom Brokaw was intrigued by what he discovered and placed an order to have his brain frozen at the facility after he died. A few years later, an “anonymous” source led him to some earth shattering revelations about why the polar ice caps were melting. Upon pursuing the story and hunting down sources, he was brought into a top secret facility and told under no circumstances could he pursue the story. Being the world famous journalist that he was, Brokaw was defiant and was prepared to dig in when…..it was all broken down for him. The polar ice caps were melting because the United States had acquired the technology to travel through time, which required a tremendous amount of energy to operate and produced heat on an unprecedented scale. My first thought would’ve been to see Jesus, but I’m totally cool with what Tom chose.

Rodions Kurucs


Got the start and played 24 minutes. There was a stretch from December to Februrary when Kurucs started 29 straight games. Then he disappeared for two games. Did the aliens abduct him also? Since then, he’s played 9, 10, 12, 17, and 27 minutes before last night. I’m getting more intrigued about what happened to Kurucs than who Ryan Broekhoff actually is. Shoot, maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe it’s David Hasselhoff. He is loved in Germany and we know the Germans are brilliant. Anyways, back to Kurucs, if he gets the minutes, he provides a little something something across the board, with his biggest contributions being in points and boards.

D’Angelo Russell


Only played 22 minutes because the Mavs were bad. I just noticed this but maybe it’s because that W is upside down. I’m going to email Mark Cuban and suggest that he change the name of his team to the Wavericks.

Ed Davis


Played 20 minutes. We all love a dependable horse, and Mr. Ed is exactly that. He provides boards and only boards.

DeMarre Carroll


Carroll brings festive cheers a few times a year. Don’t expect any D, but he can provide points, tres, and boards when it’s the season.

Spencer Dinwiddie


Played 20 minutes. Since returning from injury, Dinwiddie has received 20, 25, and 23 minutes of run. He will likely get ramped up at some point, but I have concerns about his ceiling, as the Nets are healthy and have so many bodies to play.

Caris LeVert


Played 27 minutes. LeVert has been back for 10 games now. He’s played at least 30 minutes in two. As with Dinwiddie, how many minutes will he get with so many options at Atkinson’s disposal?

Alex Len


Got the start and played 21 minutes. Granted, the matchup was tough, but….ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Len Experience.

Kent Bazemore


Got the start and played 28 minutes. The Hawks are banged up, so he should continue seeing run. When the team gets healthy, Bazemore will likely slide back into a reserve role.

Josh Richardson


Played 33 minutes. My RichardSON! Oh baby, I love seeing those D stats again and the shooting has been magnifique. Top 40 player over the past four games.

Dwyane Wade


Played 31 minutes off the bench. T minus 18 games. This is like waiting for a volcano to explode or anticipating that first kiss or trying to will the waiting-for-text response bubble to change. I’m going to be disappointed, aren’t I.

Nikola Jokic


Played a team-high 38 minutes. Didn’t mess around or stuff the stat sheet. What a Jokic! I want a refund.

Jamal Murray


Murray has been a top 100 player this season. Last year, he finished as the #60 player. Disappointing right? Well, he’s averaging more minutes, scoring more, pulling down more boards, and dishing more dimes. The shooting efficiency from both the field and line are down, though. I’m thinking alot of it has to do with more players just balling out this season.

Gary Harris


Got the start and played 27 minutes. That was Harris’s second straight start, so that’s an encouraging sign. With that said, it’s highly unlikely he approaches anywhere near last season’s per-game value of top 40-ish player. The Nuggets play at a much slower pace this year and the team is so stacked now, so the minutes won’t be there.

LaMarcus Aldridge


LMA is such a boring player, in both real life and fantasy. With that said, it’s no laughing matter that he’s a top 30 player. Percentages are excellent, turnover rate is low, and the only things he doesn’t contribute much in are tres and steals. I ain’t laughing. Are you?

Derrick White


Played 36 minutes. He’s officially back. Since returning from injury, Mr. White had played 20, 25, 20, and 30 minutes. Mr. White contributes in everything, which is the furthest thing from being bland. Anyways, the only thing you have to worry about is Popanigans.

DeMar DeRozan


Played a team-high 37 minutes. For such a boring player, he sounds so exciting. Come to the island of DeMar DeRozan, where your wildest fantasies will come true.

Rudy Gay


Played 28 minutes off the bench. Has come off the bench the past four games, so it looks like that’s the NWO. Gay will still provide points, tres, boards, dimes, and a pinch of D stats. Unfortunately, the minutes have been erratic.

Giannis Antetokounmpo


Played 34 minutes but fouled out. The Bucks lost to the Suns, 105-114. O. M. G.

Khris Middleton


The lyrics are, “Warm it up, Kris. I’m about to.”

Eric Bledsoe


What happened to the revenge narrative? Oh, there’s $70 million reasons why he’s not mad.

Malcolm Brogdon


Brogdon doesn’t provide the D, but he’s solid in every other cat that he’s a top 40-50 player. Nothing average or in the middle about that.

Nikola Mirotic


Played 23 minutes. It’s tough to trust Mirotic right now, as the minutes are bouncing in the 22-17 minute range and the shot attempts can go from 7 to 14 in any game, but there is potential here. If he gets the attempts and converts, then holla. If he starts getting above 30 minutes, then HOLLA!

Dragan Bender


Got the start and played 12 minutes. Bender has started the last three games. Maybe Igor Kokoskov’s itch of going on a bender after each game is eradicated if he plays Bender for a few minutes. You got any other ideas?

Kelly Oubre Jr.


Got the start and played 33 minutes. Why did the Wizards trade him away for Ariza again? Just another puzzling decision out of the nation’s capital.

Deandre Ayton


Small sample size (that’s what she said), but Ayton has been a top 10 player over the past three games. The only thing he doesn’t contribute are tres. Man, this rookie class could be one for the ages.

Tyler Johnson


Continues to start and played 35 minutes. After a rough start since arriving in Phoenix, Johnson has been a top 60 player over the past six games. This Johnson is no longer limp.

Devin Booker


The increase in dimes over the course of his career has been a nice thing to watch, as he’s not just another Andrew Wiggins. With that said, the turnovers have increased substantially and the shooting efficiency is always an issue. Only from the field, though, as he’s straight cash homie from the charity stripe (93% on 8.2 attempts over the past six games).

Anthony Davis


In only 22 minutes! That’s how good he is. Top 25 player over the past three games despite averaging only 21.4 minutes. Ha!

Julius Randle


Played a team-high 39 minutes. Beast mode, as he led the Pelicans to victory over the Jazz in Utah.

Jrue Holiday


My bad. Forgot about Holiday. He did a little something something to contribute in the victorious cause. Remember when the Pelicans said they were going to hold back his minutes? LIARS!!!

Kenrich Williams


Continues to start and played 34 minutes. The playing had dipped below 30 minutes in four straight games, so it’s good to see him above 30 again. The shooting efficiency, though, has been bad.

Joe Ingles


Top 75 player over the past six games. The efficiency from both the field and line haven’t been great (43% and 69%), but he’s been averaging a whopping 36.3 minutes and contributing in all the cats.

Rudy Gobert


Tu es incroyable!

Jae Crowder


Played 32 minutes. Crowder has games like this every once in a while. Good luck trying to figure out when.

Kyle Korver


Played 29 minutes. Last three games: 22, 5, and 20 points. I will guess 7 points next game.

Luke Kornet


Got the start. Not Tryin’ for Zion. Or is it Tryin’ for Zion? I guess they both work.

Noah Vonleh


Continues to start and played 34 minutes. Since he re-entered the starting lineup three games ago, the minutes have been 22, 28, and 34 minutes. Ahhhh, the sign of the Devil! If he plays 40 minutes the next game, I’m off to Vegas.

Mitchell Robinson


Only played 19 minutes because he’s too good for the Tryin’ or Not Tryin’ for Zion campaign.

Allonzo Trier


Played 30 minutes. ISO ZO is back in our lives. Dude’s a baller. It’s just a matter if Fizdale plays him or not.

Harrison Barnes


HA! rrison Barnes. He will pop off one of these games to keep him in our consciousness. Damn it! It’s working.

Buddy Hield


He’s not quite Steph Curry, but damn, Vivek knew. Example 34312523531453454 why we should never doubt self-made billionaires.

Harry Giles


Played 22 minutes off the bench, the first time eclipsing the 20 minute mark since January 30th. Since Marvin Bagley III went down due to injury, Giles has scored 18, 15, and 17 points. He’s just not getting enough minutes or contributing in much outside of points and boards to be trustworthy. The usage rate has been 33.3 over the past three games, though.

Danilo Gallinari


Ah Danilo! You a played a magnificent game. When a will a you get a hurt a again? I kid. Gallinari has been a top 60 player over the past six games. Remember before succumbing to injury, he was posting top 30 value.

Patrick Beverley


Top 75 player over the past six games. He hasn’t been scoring much, but has been providing tres, boards (8.3 per!), dimes, steals, and blocks.

Montrezl Harrell


Played 34 minutes. Montrezl provides points, boards, D stats, and excellent field goal percentage. The free throw shooting is always a question mark, but he’s been converting 77% on 4.5 attempts lately. Harrell always has the upside to dub-dub and/or score 30+ points.

Lou Williams


Played 30 minutes off the bench. He had been shooting in the low-30% range before last night’s game. The life of a shooter. Usage rate is still above 30 and he’s been providing plenty of dimes and steals.

LeBron James


Played 42 minutes. With the third straight loss and prospects of making the playoffs dim, I’d expect the Lakers and LeBron to start reigning things in. Sometimes retreating, reassessing the landscape, and recuperating is the best course of action. If that happens, that obviously puts a damper on his fantasy prospects.

Rajon Rondo


There’s the Rondo trip-dub we were waiting for. If the Lakers do start shutting things down, does that elevate Rondo somehow, as he would be the defacto guy? It’s possible. I guess he and Kyle Kuzma. Will be interesting to see how everything plays out.

Josh Hart


Played 30 minutes off the bench. Lakers need more Hart. Or is it heart?