It’s a contentious time in our nation’s capital. Bryce Harper may be departing, the name White House is being taken a little too literally, and questions abound regarding the viability of the Wall. That is why I propose that we, as a fantasy nation, Kneel4Beal 2020. Good things come from kneeling: marriage proposals, getting knighted, and for you guys out there, when the wife does it….Oh Lordy. I kid. The most common reason why we kneel is to show reverence. Well…


There were a ton of great performances in the Association yesterday, but a forty burger while messing around gets the lede and all the reverence. Granted, it was during a 2OT game, but who cares. If you do, you must be real fun at parties. Since John Wall has been out (eight games), Beal has averaged 37.1 minutes, 28.6 points, 4.9 boards, 5.4 dimes, 2.4 steals, and 0.4 blocks. He’s shot 47% from the field, 39% from downtown, and 87% from the free throw line on 4.9 attempts. He’s been the #7 player. Oh, he’s also led the Wizards to a 5-3 record over that span. Walls are too expensive and do we really need one? Kneel4Beal 2020.

Here’s what else I saw last night:


Cedi Osman


Led the Cavs in scoring and minutes played with a whopping 42! And he didn’t tank the field goal percentage. Osman! His fantasy ranking? Not so much, as he’s been top 175 over the past seven games.

Tristan Thompson


Top 125-ish player, primarily due to the rebounds. The 2.2 dimes have been enlightening.

Alec Burks


Don’t look now, but Burks has been a top 50 player over the past seven games. He’s averaging close to 30 minutes, 14.3 points, 2 threeecolas, 5.1 boards, 2.6 dimes, 0.7 steals, and 0.6 blocks. The turnover rate is also miniscule at 0.6 per game. Now, he’s been shooting 49% from the field, but that’s going to come down (he’s normally a 41% shooter). In addition, the usage rate has only been in the 17 range.

Kyle Kuzma


Since returning from injury (four games), Kuzma has a 31 usage rate and is jacking up 21.3 shots per game! 23.5 points, 2.3 threeecolas, 6 boards, and 2 dimes are nice, but the lack of D stats and poor shooting percentages (41% from the field and 62% from the line) keep him from being a great fantasy asset. He’s been the #265 player over that span.

Lonzo Ball


I still believe in Ball and think the trip-dubs will flow like manna from the heavens but….I’m not strong enough to eradicate the question from my head: Should the Lakers have drafted De’Aaron Fox instead?

Ben Simmons


I’m afraid he’s going to break the simulation. He could average a trip-dub but not contribute at all in threeecolas and be absolutely horrendous from the free throw line. He’s shooting 48% from the line on 7.1 attempts over the past seven games. Hack-a-Simmons? Can teams call up guys mid-game from the G League to just foul? Asking for a friend.

Joel Embiid


Embiid got all his blocking out of the way on the court because after the game….come one and come all. Embiid gonna have a good night in NYC.

Kevin Knox


Played 44 minutes! Next year is going to be interesting because there will be three black holes on the Knicks: Kristaps Porzingis, Tim Hardaway Jr. and Knox. Anyways, Knox is a bonafide scorer who will provide points and threeecolas. He will grab some boards but won’t contribute much else. Top 170 player for fantasy.

Luke Kornet


Played 34 minutes. Fizdale went with a starting unit of Vonleh, Thomas, Knox, Mudiay, and Dotson. Burke, Lee, Hardaway, and Kanter did not play. Kornet can shoot. There’s no doubt about that. It’s the playing time that’s the issue.

Pascal Siakam


Top 40 player. It’s crazy but he has an outside chance of joining the 1/1/1 club. Siakam can score, rebound, shoot, dish out dimes. P. S., he’s good.

Kawhi Leonard


I. Am. Kawhi. I. Am. Not. A. Robot. See. I. Missed. 3. Threeecolas. And. 14. Shots. And. 1. Free. Throw. Thank. You. For. Listening.

Kyle Lowry


Played 50 minutes.

Lowry is a relatively low usage player, but he does dish out plenty of assists, and those don’t factor into usage rates. The main issue for Lowry has been the shooting percentage, as he’s been shooting 35% from the field over the past few weeks. Man, seems like forever when Lowry was playing at a top 20 level.

Danny Green


If you are new to the program, welcome to the Danny Green experience. It’s like Whack-a-Mole. Up and down. Up and down. Good luck trying to figure out from which hole the mole goes up.

Delon Wright


Such a solid player who contributes across the board and doesn’t turn the ball over. Unfortunately, he only averages 20 minutes per game.

Trevor Ariza


Aaaaaaaalmost messed around. Ariza is a solid fantasy player, as he scores in double digits and contributes in everything but blocks. The shooting percentage sucks, though.

Thomas Bryant


Played 34 minutes, while Ian Mahinmi only played seven minutes. Good to know that the lack of playing time the last few games was matchup related.

Otto Porter Jr.


Played 44 minutes off the bench. The past seven games, Otto has been a top 40 player. The most encouraging things have been the increase in usage rate (24.2) and the fact that he’s been playing the 3, 4, and 5 positions.

Giannis Antetokounmpo


Who breaks the simulation first? G or Simmons? Or did Harden already do that?

Khris Middleton


The shooting percentage from the field has returned, but now the free throw shooting has been bad (69%). Warm it up Khris!

Eric Bledsoe


He Bledsoe we could have top 50 production in fantasy. If we are going to Kneel4Beal 2020, we must also bend the knee for the one who Bledsoe we could rejoice in fantasy.

John Collins


To make my life easier, I’m just going to assume he dub-dubs every game and only write him up when he doesn’t.

Omari Spellman


Got the start because Dewayne Dedmon was out (ankle) and played 30 minutes.

DeAndre’ Bembry


Continues to start and played 32 minutes. Inconsistent, with the highs being high and the lows being low, but should continue to get run as long as Taurean Prince and Kent Bazemore are out.

Trae Young


Over the past eight games, Young has been a top 130 player. We know the turnovers are high while the field goal percentage is low. The 4.1 rebounds, though! Impressive stuff for a player of his stature.

Clint Capela


Has been a top 15 player over the past seven games. The points, boards, blocks, and field goal percentage are what you can expect on a nightly basis, but the 75% shooting from the free throw line on 6.4 attempts has been a pleasant surprise. I have my doubts it continues but we shall see.

James Harden


Ha! 1-for-17 from downtown, yet he still drops 38! His usage rate over the past couple weeks has been 44.3! If that doesn’t get you Harden excited, you need to check yourself into the ER pronto.

Austin Rivers


Continues to start and played 37 minutes. He still sucks but he’s playing a shit ton of minutes and has the green light.

Aaron Gordon


I really want to like Gordon. He has such tantalizing physical gifts and skill set, but he doesn’t have that dominating quality to elevate him to the elite stratosphere. At least not yet. Will he? I’m beginning to have my doubts, but I’m still holding out hope.

Evan Fournier


The elevated usage rate and production from Nikola Vucevic has negatively impacted Fournier. At least that’s the only explanation I can come up with.

Terrence Ross


Played 29 minutes off the bench. Ross is awesome, as you’ll find great bargains from time to time. Ross also sucks because you’ll waste your time and walk out empty handed from time to time. Ross has had streaks of top 50 production, while also being closer to top 200 other times.

Kevin Durant


Maybe we’ve been looking at all this wrong. Maybe Durant is actually the robot. The consistency is out of this world.

Stephen Curry


Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah. That’s all you can do when you see his stat lines. He’s the #3 player on a per game basis right now. Over the past four years, he’s finished as the #2, #3, #1, and #2 player. Maybe it’s actually Curry that’s the robot.

Maxi Kleber


Continues to start and played 26 minutes. With J. J. Barea (Achilles) and Dennis Smith Jr. (back) out, Kleber could remain in the starting lineup. Boards, blocks, and some threeecolas with excellent percentages.

Harrison Barnes


Should be inducted into the Uninspiring Hall of Fame. It’s not fun rostering him, and you don’t expect much, but he’ll provide points, threeecolas, boards, and steals for top 90 production.

Luka Doncic


I heart Luka. With that said, the shooting percentages haven’t been great. Over the last eight games, Luka’s been shooting 42% from the field and 65% from the line. He also doesn’t contribute much in blocks, which makes him a top 100 player for fantasy. I still heart you Luka. The trip-dubs are going to start flowing. And when it does…..Halle-f’ing-Luka.

DeAndre Jordan


I miss the Jordan that would actually get blocks.

Jalen Brunson


Played 30 minutes off the bench. With Barea out, Brunson should get plenty of run. Don’t expect much D stats, but Brunson could provide some threeecolas, rebounds, and assists.

Al-Farouq Aminu


Boards, threeecolas, and steals on a fairly consistent basis. Sometimes knowing what you’re getting is a valuable commodity.

Damian Lillard


Y’all know what time it is.

Nikola Jokic


Ha! He literally does it all. Pick-and-roll action with another big. And he initiates it by running by the screen then getting the hand off. Such a Jokic!

Jamal Murray


Murray is averaging a whopping 16.5 shots per game! Unfortunately, the shooting percentage has been in the 41-42% range. He’s a top 100-ish player who contributes points, threeecolas, boards, and dimes. There are some steals but the blocks are light.