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In some ways, I have sympathy for what happened to the Celtics last night. After all, who among us hasn’t done the groggy barter with the alarm clock in the morning and hit the snooze button? Five more minutes, we tell ourselves, just a bit longer and then I’m getting up. Sometimes it’s fine — the bonus z’s make you feel better and you leisurely arrive at your morning rested and ready to go — and sometimes you really needed to get out of bed on time.

Roosters, nature’s alarm clock, have no snooze button. When it’s time to go to work, they’re going to let you know about it. Last night, the NBA’s Rooster crowed loudly and emphatically, but the Celtics slept right through it.

Danilo Gallinari

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
38 6 2 2 0 4 10 13/16 2/21

Unable to get up for their game against Atlanta, the C’s instead found themselves in waking nightmare featuring a 6’10” gamecock that also happened to be absolutely on fire. While the guys in green were rubbing sleep out of their eyes, Gallo canned the wide open triples. By the time Boston had put their slippers on and started closing out to him, Danilo had extended his range out to the logo. All told, Gallinari hit seven first half threes. The bonus three balls in the second stanza were his way of tucking Boston back into bed. Buona notte!

 

Sleep on the Rooster at your own peril.

Here’s what else happened on a busy Wednesday in the NBA:

Steph Curry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
24 8 8 2 0 4 1 7/21 2/2

Tough shooting, especially from distance (1/11). Still, he and Draymond did it all for a Warriors team that hasn’t given up the ship. Both champs nearly triple-doubled, and an ugly win in Nap City is still a win.

Draymond Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
12 9 11 3 1 3 0 4/5 4/4

Green has dished out 121 helpers over his last 11 games. He’s in the top 10 in assists per game on the season, ahead of Ja, Dame, De’Aaron, Steph, and LeBron. The Dray dimes are just silly, and the rest of the line isn’t too shabby either.

Domantas Sabonis

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
22 16 4 2 1 6 0 7/12 8/12

It says a lot when you go for 22 and 16 and all I want to do is nitpick about the turnovers and lack of triples. Domas isn’t an All-Star, evidently, but he’s rock solid for our game.

TJ McConnell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
9 5 6 4 1 4 0 4/7 1/1

Out-assisted Malcolm Brogdon and snatched up 5 stocks along the way. It’s rarely flashy, but TJ is helping your team.

Jayson Tatum

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
13 1 1 2 0 1 1 4/20 4/4

The field goal percentage is instructive here. Self-medicate as needed, friends. Nights like this, while rare, do happen.

Jaylen Brown

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
17 4 5 1 0 2 0 6/16 5/5

I miss January Jaylen. On the bright side, at least he was better than Tatum tonight.

Trae Young

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
33 4 7 1 0 4 5 12/23 4/5

Only five threes? I guess he’s half the player that Gallo is.

John Collins

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
14 11 1 0 1 2 2 6/11 0/0

Generally, not a line to rejoice over, but JC shook off the Questionable tag and still posted a double-double after clearing concussion protocol. The minutes (25) were down, but this one was over well before the buzzer.

John Wall

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
20 1 3 2 2 2 3 7/18 3/3

The stocks help, but the Rockets got rinsed by Cleveland. Light dimes and a single board? Methinks this Wall is short a plank or two.

Victor Olapido

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
17 6 5 2 0 1 1 8/20 0/1

Dipo returned after a fortnight away with a bum foot and played 31 minutes. So much for easing him back. The shooting numbers suck, but the counting stats are in line with his season averages.

Jarrett Allen

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
26 18 2 0 4 1 1 10/11 5/8

Allen came into this game riding a five-game double-double streak and the Rockets didn’t have a single big body to throw at him after waiving DeMarcus Cousins. Remind me how Cleveland was able to flip Donte Exum for Allen, was there witchcraft involved?

Darius Garland

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
11 4 10 0 0 8 3 4/14 0/0

Collin Sexton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
23 2 3 1 0 1 3 9/19 2/2

When you really think about it, is it all that surprising that Sexland is plagued with ball control issues and poor shooting?

Kyle Lowry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
24 7 8 2 0 3 4 9/13 2/4

Speaking of not being eased back, KLow played 35 (!) minutes after missing the last four games, though you’d have no way of knowing that by looking at this full line. The risk of a more substantial injury is omnipresent given Nurse’s minute allotment and Lowry’s mileage, but if he’s in uniform, Kyle is clearly expected to play.

Fred VanVleet

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
24 4 7 0 0 1 5 6/13 7/8

FVV is such a Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to shooting. Tonight we got the good doctor, who apparently thinks he’s too moral to do any stealing. Nothing wrong with the stroke though. Unlike…

Pascal Siakam

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
5 2 4 0 0 3 1 1/6 2/2

…what happened here. Siakam had been cruising as a top-25 guy for about a month now, so I’m not sure what to tell you other than what Mama said about days like this.

Fred Willard Wha Happened GIF by Warner Archive

Jimmy Butler

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
27 8 10 3 1 2 3 8/17 8/8

The three rips only add to Butler’s league-leading steals rate (1.9). He’s missed a lot of time, but his return to high-level production is turning up the heat in Miami.

Bam Adebayo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
19 12 4 1 1 1 0 7/11 5/6

Eight of the last ten games have resulted in a double-double for Bam. Top-30 play during that stretch and on the season.

Duncan Robinson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
17 2 2 1 0 1 4 6/11 1/1

Played a team-high 39 minutes, as Miami went nine deep tonight. The shooting has been better of late, too, as the FG% is above 45% over the last two weeks. Robinson was being asked to carry a lot while Miami stumbled out of the gate. You gotta figure the Heat getting healthy and back to full strength will only improve his potency.

Goran Dragic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
15 2 3 0 0 3 2 4/13 5/6

21 MP after two weeks away. Of all the guys getting back to the court tonight, Dragic provided the most blah line, but that has more to do with the solid nights Dipo and Lowry put up. Kendrick Nunn drew the start ahead of the Dragon, and it will interesting to see how the time is split now that the backcourt is getting healthier.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
24 8 5 2 1 4 2 10/20 2/2

[Cat heart eye emojis]

Anthony Edwards

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
21 9 6 2 0 3 3 7/20 4/4

It all looks good until you see that he needed 20 attempts. The number one pick is in the midst of a cold spell in what has already been an icy shooting season. Edwards is shooting 36% from the floor since New Year’s Day. At least he’s figured out the vibe for Minnesota winters.

Jarred Vanderbilt

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
16 6 1 4 0 1 0 5/5 6/7

The steals shouldn’t come as a surprise. Vanderbilts are known robber barons.

Zach LaVine

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
35 2 2 0 0 7 5 14/21 5/8

A throwback from LaVine had me standing out on the corner in the pouring rain. He looked like LaVine 1.0 out there and burped up a -4 in plus/minus, but he did shoot it efficiently and got his team a win in OT.

Coby White

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
20 8 6 0 0 7 0 9/17 2/2

A Rorschach test of a line. Do you see the flirtation with a triple-double and efficient shooting or do you see the defensive zeros, non-existent triples (0/6), and abundant turnovers?

Wendell Carter Jr

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
17 10 2 2 2 1 1 6/8 4/4

The stock market has been soaring in this Carter administration. Five steals and four blocks in the last two games. The line goes up.

Mason Plumlee

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
21 9 7 0 4 3 0 9/10 3/5

The scoring and voluminous swats should definitely be cherished, as they’re not the norm for the Plumlord. That said, it was just this month when we saw Mason mess around, so nights like this are in the offering as long as he’s eating all those center minutes in Detroit.

Dennis Smith Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
11 3 7 3 0 0 1 5/12 0/0

Not exactly running away with the point guard gig in Delon Wright’s stead, but this is a useful line from DSJ. Meanwhile…

Saben Lee

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
13 2 4 2 1 0 1 5/8 2/2

…stayed hot and handed in another serviceable game. Hard to love either guy when neither of them can get the inside track. Worst case scenario is all three guards play well and cannibalize each other’s value when Wright gets back.

Josh Jackson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
25 6 3 0 0 1 2 10/18 3/4

The lack of defensive stats is mitigated by the rare display of efficiency. Saddiq Bey and Sekou Doumbouya both started ahead of Jackson, but JJ still logged almost 30 minutes and is enjoying all the usage he could want as the sixth man.

Zion Williamson

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
32 6 5 0 1 0 0 13/18 6/9

After being named an All-Star reserve, Zion spent seemingly the entire night dunking on Detroit. Or do you think he got the nod because he’s chipping in blocks and dimes too?

Brandon Ingram

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
27 7 8 1 0 1 3 8/19 6/7

Another year, another All-Star snub for BI. Fantasy managers don’t mind at all, as Ingram has been A Problem all month. 24.7/5.1/5.0/0.7/0.8 and 3.0 3PM puts him on the all-February team for sure.

Lonzo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
12 6 8 3 0 2 2 4/8 2/2

Ball has been having some hand trouble (lol), but he still turned in 34 minutes and continues to produce well-rounded lines on a nightly basis.

Dejounte Murray

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
27 9 2 1 0 0 0 12/20 3/4

DMs blowing up? Definitely a little bit. The assists were on the light side, but he was the only Spur who managed to produce a salvageable line after 11 days away. Murray had been playing good ball before the Covid pause, hopefully, this line means he’s picking up right where he left off.

LaMarcus Aldridge

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
11 7 1 1 1 2 2 3/10 3/4

Logged 26 minutes off the bench as LMA returned to action for the first time since the beginning of February. It’s going to take some time for LaMarcus and the Spurs to get back up to speed, as it’s been a particularly long layoff for the 35-year-old.

Lonnie Walker IV

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
12 4 2 1 0 2 2 5/16 0/0

Left a lot of meat on the bone, as Walker drew the start and played 33 minutes. Derrick White has not cleared health and safety protocols yet. Walker would be in line to keep seeing run if White remains unavailable, though it looks like there’s a fair amount of rust to shake off.

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
42 8 4 0 1 4 6 13/20 10/11

A strange night for the Thunder stat lines. Shai was hot, as you can see, but he was the only player wearing a white jersey who shot a free throw. The six triples were a career-high.

Darius Bazley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
0 10 0 0 0 2 0 0/8 0/0

000000000h my. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a line like this, and he was the only player on either team to record double-digit boards. The scoring has really dried up lately for Bazley. He’s managed 10 points or fewer in five of his nine, but steals are usually there, along with obviously improved involvement on the glass.

Al Horford

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
16 7 7 0 0 0 2 7/16 0/0

Couple of D-shaped holes in the Florford tonight. Still bears weight though.

Theo Maledon

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
3 3 3 4 0 1 1 1/5 0/0

Only Maledon and Isaiah Roby (2) recorded steals for the Thunder, as OKC seems to be taking the term “specialist” entirely too seriously. Hamidou Diallo was yanked early with an injury, so the minutes (30+ in his last five games) should continue to be there for Theo even if the points come and go.

Malik Monk

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
29 2 3 1 0 0 5 10/21 4/4

This is the third time in the last four games that Monk has scored 20+ points. Perhaps a prayer should be said that the rest of his game blossoms too, as it’s mostly scoring on hot shooting at the moment.

LaMelo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
20 4 8 2 0 3 3 7/11 3/3

That’s an awfully pretty shooting line for a guy who chucked up a 37% FG when he was down under. I blame the Coriolis effect spinning the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere. It couldn’t be that he was checked out and just wanted to shoot, right?

Devin Booker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
33 0 3 1 0 5 4 13/24 3/4

Speaking of just wanting to shoot. Despite posting a very thin line, Book still snagged an invite to be a Western Conference All-Star, as he’s replacing the injured Anthony Davis.

Chris Paul

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
20 8 10 1 1 3 3 7/14 3/4

As of today, the Suns and the Lakers have the same record. This Chris Paul fella might have something to do with that.

Mikal Bridges

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
12 4 2 1 2 1 2 4/9 2/4

The season averages for Bridges are 13.9/5.1/2.2/0.6/1.0 with 0.7 TO and 2.0 3PM. The math checks out.

LeBron James

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
19 4 4 1 0 4 1 7/13 4/5

The Lakers caught 14 triples from the Jazz in the first half and were more or less out of it the whole night. Only 28 minutes for the King as the skid for the reigning champs continues.

Donovan Mitchell

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
13 10 8 2 0 1 2 4/16 3/4

Almost messed around in a game where he was decidedly not the focal point. Not a ton of buckets for Mitchell tonight with the ball zipping around for Utah, but the rest of the line is tasty.

Mike Conley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TO 3PT FG FT
14 8 8 2 0 3 4 5/10 0/0

Synched up with his backcourt partner tonight. Plenty of other Jazz chipped in — Bogdanovic had 15, Gobert and Clarkson had 18, Favors had 12 — as the eats were pretty good in the 25-point win. Still no All-Star nod for Conley though. This season might not be his last shot, but it certainly seemed like his last best shot, you know?