Holy schnike, what an opening set of games!  And what a night for Believeland!  The Cavs get to raise their banners and get their ring pops to open the 2016-17 NBA Season, then top it off by playing a disjointed group of SUPER streetballers that a high school team might be able to beat.  Really, Knicks?!  17 assists to 18 turnovers?!  Just an absolute collapse by New York after a nice 2nd quarter run.  I guess they’re going to end up going 115-1…  Then a mere 50 feet away, the Windians pick up game 1 in the World Series, shutting out the Cubs 6-0.  The dude who wrote Major League couldn’t have even foreseen this!

After seeing what LeBron James did last night, it made me want to link MAC’s comment on our staff picks article.  Of course I’m overreacting to one game, but man did Bronny Bron look hungry from some MVPness (be sure to say that word out loud).  19/11/14/0/1 for his first career Opening Night tripdub, as the Cavs stand-n-shooters all hit their threes boosting the dimes.  Monster dunks early and often, but still had his deficiencies in FT (1-2), treys (0-3) and TO (4). If Cleveland can keep rolling like this, and the MVP talk remains clamorous, we all know we need to be shopping him in a month or two.  As we mentioned a few times in the offseason, his schedule in the H2H Playoffs (or at the end of the Roto season) is fraught with DNP landmines.  I got The King in one of my RCLs, and if he’s still around by the All-Star Break, I have a feeling I’m going to have trouble dealing him away.  But others in your league are likely a little less competent with foresight and don’t read Razzball, even though it’s a Shakespearean Tragedy!  So hopefully in those leagues, you’ll be able to capitalize.  Who knows, in Razzball leagues, maybe the hate and talk of trading him will create a buying opportunity!  And maybe even the Knicks will turn it all around and fight the Cavs for the best record in the East…  Hah, now we’re getting into some super crazy talk!  Here’s what else went down across the first 3 NBA Openers last night:

Kawhi Leonard Wooooo!!  If you didn’t catch that, WOOOOOOO!!!!

What a way to start the season for yours truly!  I get this epic line of 35/5/3/5/0 (10-21 FG 15-15 FT) for my REL team, I get a 1-0 lead on the 30-point challenge board, the Spurs prove me right with what I said on the post yesterday morning and on the Podcast that they were going to win this game and the Warriors fans would panic, and my staff picks of the Spurs winning the title and Kawhi winning the MVP could not look any better!!!!  …after one game.  But hey, it’s nice to feel good, and I don’t care if that was an epic run-on sentence!  Woooooo!  Sorry to steal your Thunder (hah), Steph!

Jonathan Simmons – Looked pretty fantastic.  And I wrote most of this blurb in the first quarter!  Ugh.  High energy but never looked out of control, nabbed boards, great eye for some facilitating… 20/4/3/0/1 (3 treys) and had an extra assist taken away with Dewayne Dedmon rim-checking himself on a wide open dunk, Shaqtin’ a Fool-esque.  Hit big threes to end the first and second quarters, got a monster block on Curry on a transition layup, had a huge and-one drive to fend off a late rally, posterized JaVale McGee at the end… And if he can play consistently like this, might be Pop’s new Manu for the next decade.  Less 3s, but bench energy and offense, which really decided that blowout in GS last night.  He’s certainly not going to be dependable enough yet in a 12er, but with 3 more games this week, I could see streaming him in deepers.  A lot of this line was a result of game flow, and don’t forget Danny Green is out a few weeks, which will put pressure on minutes most of the year as well.  In 12ers, I’m nabbing Joe Johnson where I could.  But deep leagues, give me Jonathan Simmons for the shot at season-long value if both are avail.

Kyle Anderson On the Pod, I mentioned some pessimism this would work out, but he should be giving you better lines than 3/4/0/1/0 in 22 minutes sans-Danny Boy….  He’s just starting his season in slow motion.

Pau Gasol – Your epic game 1 buy low.  I think I’m going to float offers everywhere I can.  Horrific 2/4/1/0/0 in 18 minutes to start his Spurs tenure, but we all know it’s not going to be this bad.  The Warriors also went small a lot of the night, so this didn’t project to be a great matchup anyway.

Kevin Durant So weird.  Scores the first 2 Pts of the Western All-Stars season, and it just seems wrong to see him in gold…  Was your best Warrior last night going 27/10/4/2/2-rainbow with no TO.  It wasn’t even like the Warriors played that bad!  Spurs got a lot of bounces and just looked ridiculous.  Mmmmm, I feel good about that!  Woo again!

Draymond Green At one point in the first half, Kerr yelled at him, “”You gonna fu#*ing play or what!?”  Immediately picked it up, and after a lackluster start, gives us that #Occupy line we’re used to of 18/12/6/5/1 with 2 treys.  And easily the best part of Bleacher Report’s Warriors Musical that TNT showed was Green’s errant kicks…  But why are they calling it “Super Team: A Warriors Musical”?!?!?!  That’s just confusing, I thought it was about the Knicks at first…

Zaza Pachulia – ZAZA SMASH!!!!  ZAZA BRING YOU THE HEADS OF ALL THE OTHER ALL-STARS!  Had a nasty behind the back pass to Klay for a trey which Klay ruined, and I think he’s going to play more than this most nights.  Although, yes Jeremy, I want Steven Adams by a good bit now 🙂

Klay Thompson Speaking of Klay, look who’s on the outside looking in!  11/1/2/0/0 with only one 3 in 33 minutes.  Obviously if you can get him on the cheap I would, but other than going small for longer than I expected, this played out kinda how I saw the Warriors playing out…

Stephen Curry …minus Steph missing all his 3s.  26/3/4/0/0 with 4 TO and shot only 3-10 from deep.  That said, had some aggressive drives that kept making Reggie Miller pitch a tent and shot 9-18 overall.  3 treys and high volume 50% shooting in an awful game for him!?  Why I kept him #1 in 9-cat.

Patrick McCAWWWWWWW! – McBench.

Joe Johnson – Have I said WOOOOO yet?!  On the Pod I mentioned I streamed Iso Joe over Kyle Anderson (sadly in only one league, only had one open spot I liked in my RCLs), and boy did he put the Jazz on his old shoulders!  29/4/3/1/0, shooting an absurd 12-16 with 3 treys.  While no Derrick Favors helped and obviously it’s not long-term with Gordon Hayward coming back, I nabbed him in both the RCLs he was still available.  But only getting him in leagues deeper than 10ers with someone droppable.

George Hill – 19/2/6/2/1 with only 1 TO!  That’s the kind of AST:TO you were looking for!  Did most of the damage early, but he fits this team so well…

Rodney Hood Almost got The Hockey Guy a 30-point challenge point, going 26/2/1/2/1 with nary a TO.  But most importantly, collapsed in a heap with what looked like a kankle, and with his history of lower leg injuries, everyone held their breath.  Luckily he ended up being fine and finished the game.  It’s going to be a worry for me all year.

Rudy Gobert Played an absurd 41 minutes!  But hey, at least Jeff Withey got me a steal and a block for the REL!  Silly Schhhhhhhnyder.  12/14/2/0/2 for Monsieur Elbow, and 4-4 FT!  Of course the smallest of samples, but preseason FT% uptick looks to be real!  Although that line looks kinda blah in per-36…

Trey Lyles Even though I was pretty low on him going into the year and was surprised seeing him drafted in 12ers, I wasn’t expecting only 18 minutes of 5/2/2/0/0.  D-Fave got in an “intesne workout” so his absence appears to be brief as well…  No bueno…

Damian Lillard Giving us a true Omen on opening night!  At least the Blazers game was a close one…  Despite some good storylines in the other two…  39/9/6/0/0 with 4 treys and 9-9 FT.  Just dominated down the stretch in true superstar fashion.  Too late to move him up in my ranks to the Lowry/Wall range?!

C.J. McCollum Playing second fiddle with a ho-hum 25/2/3/1/0, he’s overrated, Rotoworld likes him too much… Oh wait that was last year!  Loving your fourth round pick so far this year 🙂

Mason Plumlee Uggghhhhhhh.  4 fouls in 15 minutes and did virtually nothing else.  Ed Davis did a little better job trying to contain Gobert, but if you are a FT punt with Plumlee in a 12er, I wouldn’t drop him just yet.

Maurice Harkless Stress on the LESS!  0/1/1/2/0 in 22 minutes of standing around and watching Lillard shoot.  As expected, Evan Turner played more minutes, despite his shooting woes from presason carrying over.  At least gave you 3/5/5/1/1 with no TO.  All in all though…

Allen Crabbe – …might be the SF to own of this hodgepodge.  Looked really good, albeit in a ThrAGNOFfy fashion.  18/3/3/0/0 with 4 treys on 6-10 shooting.  Likely avoiding all three in 12ers for the time being; I think I’d be letting Turner go, who was the only one widely drafted.

Derrick Rose Was pretty good! For Derrick Rose…  17/3/1/0/1 with 4 TO.  Had some nice aggressive layups, but bleh.

Brandon Jennings – Played a few minutes next to Rose, but just looked awful.  1-7 from the field including some horrible labradoodles.  Did go 7/3/5 with only 1 TO, so AST-strapped, deeper-league teams could do worse.  But only barely…

Joakim Noah – 19 minutes of dry heaving.  0/6/3/1/0 and barely played in the second half.  I’m not panicking on this one yet in a 12er, this was an epic blowout, and even though the Knicks are bad, they’re not playing the Cavs every night…  Didn’t help that…

The Poison Goose – …Looked mad poisonous and played some 5!  Easily the Knicks best player, and not just in fantasy.  I really hope they find some sort of sucker like the Kings to take Melo and Rose for like 5 first round picks and just rebuild around him.  16/7/0/1/2 with 3 treys, but unfortunately went 3-6 from the stripe.  He’ll be better there.  But for Slim and I’s (grammar police!) epic debates on Goose’s FG%, only 5-13 from the field.  He’ll be better there as well…  Also looks like he’s got some fantastic bone density, with his hip giving Iman Shumpert a concussion.  Obviously wishing Iman the best, but he drew the contact and we don’t need a wing-clipped Goose!  More Ovaltine please!

Courtney Lee – Yeah I probably should’ve buried him at like 190 in my ranks or not ranked him at all.  #RELbias!  Looked completely out of the flow of the game, but that one layup that was LeBron’s big block was totally a goaltend!  It was going down AND LeBron smacked the rim!  …….#RELbias….  Anywho, if you have him in like a 16er or deeper, I would probably hold and see what a normal game is like.

Justin Holiday 4th highest in minutes for the Knicks, leading the second unit in run and going 8/6/2/1/0 with a couple of 3s.  Dude is a lot lankier than I remember!  Listed at 6’6, he looked more like 6’8 to me.  He kinda reminded me of a SG Porzingis!  On the radar for now in 14ers; I might go for a spec add in the super deepers.  But not expecting much consistency.

Carmelo Anthony Hit iso jumpers and bleh.  Couldn’t get commenters even 20 points in the 30-pt challenge…

Ron Baker – I saw his doofy haircut on the bench and was like, “he made the team?!  Shocker!”  Ended up scoring 5 points in absolute garbage time for his debut.

Kyrie Irving Speaking of the 30-point challenge, noooooooooo!!!  29/2/4/2/0, and if you picked Kyrie, then you only have one person to blame…  Well, 12 people.  12 Super people.

Kevin Love 23/12/2/3/0 in a superb 25 minutes.  2 treys and 9-12 FT.  Took 12 of the Cavs 19 FT!  Great start for all of the big 3.


I hope everyone had as much fun watching opening nights as I did!  The Super Knicks getting absolutely blown out, Damian Lillard putting on a show, Joe Johnson turning back the clock, and mmmmm…  Kawhi!  Good luck to everyone tonight in a full slate of action tonight, and happy 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season, Razzball Nation!