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Two days ago, Ben “Fresh Prince” Simmons was the toast of the fantasy basketball world after posting his first career triple-dub. He got the title, picture, and intro paragraph for my nightly recap post. The amount written about him required six scrolls of the mouse. Now, my computer monitor is 12″ in height. I use Google Chrome, so the post without the ad at the top is nine inches in height. Each scroll of the mouse moves the page one inch. That sounds much more impressive than the 387 words I actually typed. Anyways, last night Lebron “King” James reminded us that he’s still one of the best basketball players on the planet. You don’t know how many times I clicked the back arrow. Is he the best or is he one of the best? I initially went with best, but eventually settled with one of the best because Lebron is not blemish-free and there are a couple of players that are in the vicinity. Anyways, 29 points, 10 boards, 13 dimes, and four blocks in 41 minutes of run last night. He shot 12-for-20 from the field and 1-for-2 from downtown. This came against the Brooklyn Nets and he did turn the ball over eight times, though. In addition, 4-for-8 from the charity stripe. Whatever.

Any excuse to post some Run DMC. Now, Lebron may be in store for an epic, epic fantasy season. Key word being may. It’s early in the season, but the Cavs may not waltz through the Eastern Conference this year. Look at the roster. Outside of Kevin Love, who’s getting buckets? Jeff Green? Dwayne Wade and Derrick Rose? They will contribute in spurts but can they be counted on consistently? The Cavs just lost to the Nets in a game Lebron went HAM. Granted, it was on a back-to-back. Cavs are now 0-2 on back-to-backs by the way. That just makes the probability of Lebron going bonkers this season even higher. We all know he’s gone after this season. At least I know. This will be Lebron’s Last Stand. On a side note, why is Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer of Custer’s Last Stand so revered and famous? Didn’t he and his men get slaughtered? The FT% will hold Lebron back in fantasy, but the counting stats could be of epic proportions.

Sorry for the long intro paragraph. I just wanted to make sure it was 388 words long.

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Here’s what else I saw last night:

Minnesota, we have a problem. Yo, Thibs. Where’s the defense? The Timberpuppies are 28th in defensive efficiency. They got smoked 122-101 last night by the Pistons while the Pacers lit them up 130-107 the prior game. You know what, though? It’s been five freaking games. R-E-L-A-X. They may be puppies now, but Minnesota will morph into the Timberwolves later in the season. There are a ton of new players and some have been injured, so it’s going to take time for things to gel. If you have a piece of this squad…..

Dillon Brooks got us all excited after his first game when he scored 19 points, grabbed five boards, dished out two dimes, blocked two, and pilfered four. With the depth chart seemingly open ahead of him, the rookie oozed with fantasy potential. Unfortunately, he’s come back down to Earth and hasn’t done much. To make matters worse, James Ennis is getting mid-30s in playing time. Not all is lost, though, as he’s still played 28 minutes last night. I’d hold.

With Seth Curry still out, the backcourt situation in Dallas is always an interesting one. Last night, Yogi Ferrell played 29 minutes while J.J. Barea only got 19 minutes of run. It was Barea that was more productive, though. 14 points, five boards, four dimes, and two steals compared to the 10 points, four boards, one dime, one steal, and one block for Yogi.

I’m a Barea guy. Never doubt him. If you want to know why, check out Monday’s post.

Break up the Suns! That makes two in a row after firing Earl Watson and first game since Eric Bledsoe went to the Hotel Hair Salon, where you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!

T. J. Warren led the way with 27 points, five boards, one dime, and one steal in 28 minutes. He went 12-for-20 from the field. I guess trading him away wasn’t such a hot idea. Way to say it was, Son.

It was Tyler Ulis who played 26 minutes, while Mike James got 22 minutes. Ulis scored 13 points, dished out five dimes, and pilfered two. James scored five points, grabbed four boards, dished out two dimes, and pilfered one. James shot 1-for-9 from the field, so maybe Jay Triano went with the hot hand. We will just have to see if one is able to take the bulk of the work. As it stands, it looks like both will cannibalize each other. Not like actually eat other. That would be troublesome.

Alex Len scored 13 points and grabbed 13 boards in 30 minutes of run. Tyson Chandler scored six points, grabbed 10 boards, dished out two dimes, pilfered one, and blocked one in 22 minutes. Is it finally happening?

Marquese Chriss scored four points, grabbed five boards, dished out two dimes, and blocked one in 23 minutes. This is not the matchup or type of game for Chriss. With that said, expect inconsistencies from the youngster.

The Stocktonator loved the matchups for Rudy Gobert and Ricky Rubio last night. Gobert scored 16 points, grabbed 14 boards, dished out one dime, and swatted not one…not two…not three….not four….but five! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rubio scored 15 points, grabbed four boards, dished out 11 dimes, pilfered four, and blocked one. I’m surprised he didn’t get arrested last night. Now that I think about it, I’m sensing some funny business that the Stocktonator would be all over a couple of Utah Jazz.

Things that make you go, hmmmmm.

Guess who’s the 29th overall player in Yahoo right now? Joe Freaking Ingles. 11.8 points, 3.3 boards, three assists, 1.8 steals, and 3.3 threes. He will get you to nod up and down that White Men Can’t Jump, but he has a high basketball IQ and positions and anticipates so well.

With Jonas Valanciunas missing another game, Serge Ibaka got the start at center with Pascal Siakam at power forward. Ibaka did what Ibaka do. Score, rebound, block, and have a bagel in the assist column. Siakam scored 20 points, grabbed two boards, and dished out two dimes in 21 minutes. Jakob Poeltl was the beast, as he scored 12 points, grabbed 14 boards, dished out two dimes, pilfered one, and blocked one in 27 minutes. Valanciunas may be out until Monday, so both Poeltl and Siakam could be valuable in the short-term.

Keep an eye on OG Anunoby. The Raptors are going to be careful with OG, as he’s coming off knee surgery. With that said, he’s a 6′ 8″ 236 pound athletic marvel that got 18 minutes last night. He scored eight points, grabbed four boards, and dished out two dimes. Later down the road, he’s a guy that can fill up the stat sheet. Enter his number onto the speed dial list. His versatility may eat into the minutes of Norman Powell, who only got 16 minutes of run last night. He’s played 16, 22, and 17 minutes the past three games and scored 2, 6, and 2 points respectively. Sayonara.

Victor Oladipo with the ultimate revenge narrative game. 35 points, five boards, one steal, and two blocks on 11-for-18 shooting. +/-? Negative 20. Any of you remember this song?

Ha! What a classic. Anyways, even the homies that always want some, do let romantic one-on-one interactions happen…on special days. Sike! Victor do what Victor do. He’s attempted 18, 16, 23, 17, and 12 shots in the first five games to open the season.

How sick is it that Russell Westbrook can’t even make it above Snoop in this post? All he did was mess around a get another triple-dub: 28 points, 10 boards, 16 dimes, and three steals. Career triple-dubs for Russ is now at 81. Oscar Robertson is the leader with 181. Anyone know how I can put a counter on the Razzball page that keeps track and counts down every time he posts a triple-dub? Maybe I should create a “Did Russell Westbrook Get a Triple-Double?” Twitter account……someone already did.

Paul George only scored 10 points, grabbed one board, and blocked one. He fouled out.

Carmelo Anthony had one assist!!! Shut it down! And he had three blocks! Shut it all down now, damn it! Head for the hills. Find shelter. The end is nigh! I kid…I kid. Melo scored 28 and grabbed 10 boards.

LaMarcus Aldridge is straight ballin the F out. Read Monday’s post, as I had a nice little tidbit on him. Anyways, I love Pop so much. Not for how he dealt with LMA, but how he’s just on a different level than everyone else. He’s playing 3-D chess while the NBA is playing Tic-Tac-Toe. So, you gonna fine us if we sit players for rest? FU NBA! I’m just going to have my franchise player not even play then. I’m going to take this malcontent, prop him up, and see to what heights he can take us. What you gonna do about that NBA, huh? Damn, that’s next next next level shit right there.

Dejounte Murray did not have a good game. 0-for-6 from the field with three boards and three dimes. He played 24 minutes. Any of you heard of this show called Game of Thrones? Well, there are these dragons and it is said that only a select few are able to ride them. Murray obviously is one of the many that can’t, as Goran “The Dragon” Dragic shut his ass down.

Rudy Gay played 26 minutes and scored 22 points, grabbed three boards, dished out four dimes, and pilfered two. He can play multiple positions and has always had the ability to score. Now, he plays for Pop. Need I say more?

With Hassan Whiteside out again, rookie Bam Adebayo got the start: four points, eight boards, and one block. Kelly Olynyk only played 12 minutes and scored five points. I love what I saw from Bam in Summer League. If Whiteside continues to miss time and Bam gets minutes, all you can eat baby!

Dion Waiters played 40 minutes last night! He scored 17 points, grabbed two boards, and dished out five dimes. The plane boss, the plane!!!

With D’Angelo Russell not playing, Spencer Dinwiddie got the start at point guard with Caris LeVert at shooting guard. Dinwiddie scored 22 points, grabbed five boards, dished out six assists, and pilfered one in 32 minutes. LeVert scored 10 points, grabbed one board, dished out four dimes, and pilfered one in 30 minutes. 11 players received at least 10 minutes of run for the Nets last night. My son is six years old and plays in a league where there are mass substitutions every five minutes. Yo, Kenny. <feels tap on shoulder> Looks at mechanical arm that computer attached to itself for this particular moment. <I’m very freaked out right now> Hears over the speakers: Nets beat the Cavs 112-107 last night. I will STFU now, climb into bed, and curl up into the fetal position.

Clint Capela went biggidy bonkers last night. 16 points, 20 boards, two dimes, one steal, and four blocks.

Eric Gordon hit the game-winning three last night. Why is he not at the top? That’s a good question. Gordon finished with 29 points, four boards, and five assists. CPWho? Gordon’s attempted 16 and 15 three-pointers the last two games. Any of y’all play craps? I’ve placed the 6 and the 8. For some reason, the shooter keeps hitting those two numbers. Just keep pressing it up dealer.

Joel Embiid played 25 minutes and scored 21 points, grabbed six boards, dished out three dimes, pilfered one, and blocked two. He’s human. Or is he?

JJ Redick was the man last night. 22 points, five boards, and four assists. Note to self for DFS. As long as the Rockets have Gordon and Harden in the backcourt, play the opposing shooting guard. No. Matter. What.

With Jimmy Butler out again, Shabazz Muhammad got the start and played 29 minutes. Unfortunately, he only scored four points, grabbed four boards, dished out one dime, and pilfered one. More like Shazam!

Wow. Tobias Harris. 34 points, four boards, one dime, two steals, and one block. 39 minutes and 24 shot attempts.

Stanley Johnson scored 15 points, grabbed three boards, dished out three dimes, and pilfered one. Now I know the world truly is ending. Good thing I bought that time share survival bunker.

Nikola Jokic scored 18 points and grabbed 11 rebounds. He did not register an assist. Geez, it really is the end of days, huh? I was just joking above.

Jamal Murray played 33 minutes and scored 16 points, grabbed three boards, dished out five dimes, and pilfered one. Murray is starting to pull ahead with the job me thinks. Now, there’s all the chatter about Eric Bledsoe getting traded to Denver. That would obviously downgrade Murray.

Paul Millsap only scored eight points and grab five boards. Shit happens.

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist made his debut last night and only played 11 minutes. He only scored two points with no other counting stats. It will take time.

Frank Kaminsky scored 20 points, grabbed four boards, dished out three dimes, and blocked one. He played 28 minutes and went 9-for-15 from the field. Cody Zeller was a DNP, coach’s decision. C’est la Vie Monsieur Zeller. Bonjour Monsieur Kaminsky.

Malik Monk scored 17 points, grabbed two boards, dished out two dimes, and pilfered two in 25 minutes. He went 7-for-14 from the field. He was one of my favorite players during the draft. Dude is a baller. If you need scoring and shooting, he’s going to get you more than a little something something.

John Wall went 7-for-22 from the field, scored 18 points, grabbed three boards, dished out nine dimes, and pilfered one. Was it the power of the Chalk Gods? Was it the power of BBB and Lavar Ball? Me thinks a little too much time at the club.

Larry Nance Jr. scored 18 points, grabbed 10 boards, and pilfered two in 24 minutes. Nance is the perfect guy for this system. I wish he would get more minutes, but the Lakers are loaded in the front court.

Brandon Ingram scored 19 points, grabbed 10 boards, dished out three dimes, pilfered one, and blocked one in 39 minutes. He’s got the physique of Plastic Man and the look of someone that just smoked a blunt, but make no mistake, Ingram is going to be a star.

Lonzo Ball was 2-for-11 from the field, scored six points, grabbed eight boards, dished out 10 dimes, pilfered one, and blocked one. The most important stat: W

Kyle Kuzma played 34 minutes! It’s happening! It’s happening! I hope. He scored 15 points and grabbed three boards. Kuzma has impressed from Day One and performed at a high level every step of the way. He’s going to be good and he and Lonzo already have great chemistry.