It’s the end of an era for the Boston Celtics. It’s crazy to think that Isaiah Thomas had only been with the team for 2 1/2 years, but he became the heart of soul of those squads. I guess it all makes sense when you realize that IT is only 5′ 9″ 185 pounds and was Mr. Irrelevant in the 2011 NBA Draft. Always bringing the business, irrespective of the social construct of time and making us question the E=MC Squared equation because the energy does not seem to be interchangeable with his mass.
Got nothing but love for you IT. With that said, the NBA is a business. Here’s something for you to ponder. As I sit in this chair writing, it always pisses me off that there are salary caps in professional sports. Do we not live in a free, capitalistic meritocracy? Why is there a limit on the amount of money a player can make? Now, if I actually owned a NBA team….SALARY CAP!!! Why? Because it makes the most business sense. It’s a doggy dog world out there and cute, cuddly emotions are reserved for when you get home. The Celtics made a bunch of business decisions this offseason. As much as I love IT, it’s a move that was in the best interest of the team going forward.
I can not wait for the Cleveland Lebrons to start the season. There is going to be so much pettiness, so much drama, so much F U-ness, and….so many wins. The Lebrons went 35-47 his rookie year. The next year they improved to 42-40. Those were the only years the Lebrons did not make the playoffs. Including those two years, the Lebrons went 349-225 (61% win percentage) with two 60+ win seasons and two 50 win seasons. Then, the Decision happened. The Cavaliers proceeded to go 97-215 (31% win percentage) with only one season above 30 wins. When Lebron returned, 161-85 (65% win percentage) with three seasons above 50 wins and the team’s first NBA Championship. I truly believe that this is Lebron’s last season in Cleveland. Remember this? I remember Lebron saying, “Even my wife was like, my momma and my wife was like, ‘I’m not with that.’ My mom was definitely like, ‘[expletive] that, we ain’t going back.“As I said on the pod, the only way Lebron returns to Cleveland is if Dan Gilbert sells him the team. As a result, he’s going balls to the wall this season. That Brooklyn pick? Lebron is going to use that to get someone. He’s pushing all the chips into the middle of the table to make one final last run. Even if management doesn’t sign off trading the pick, Lebron will morph into Kayser Soze….
On Tuesday morning, President of Basketball Operations Danny Ainge received an email. The sender was: [email protected] You don’t become the President of Basketball Operations for the Boston Celtics by being a dummy. Knowing that it was a scam of some sort, he asked his secretary to dial up the IT department so that they could help him reconfigure the spam folder settings. He saw the light for the IT department flash three times on his state-of-the-art phone before Jane, his secretary, intercommed over that Art was on the line. “Hey Art. This is Danny.” “What can I do for you, sir?” See, Art, I received this email from a Nigerian prince this morning and I was wondering if you could fix the problem so I won’t receive these spam emails anymore.” “Sir, did you try shutting the computer on and off?” Just at that moment, Jane intercommed over to say that Koby Altman, general manager of the Cleveland Cavaliers, was on the line. “Hey Art. Hold on a sec.” “Hi Koby, what can I do for you?” “Well Danny, I have a problem. You see….” Koby kept talking and talking and talking, but what Danny didn’t know was that the hackers that Dan Gilbert hired over the Dark Web a week earlier figured out a way to hypnotize an individual via their computer screen. Not to get too technical, but it required a specific state-of-the-art phone that had two lines open at the exact time with an email displayed from a particular address emanating from the screen. Unbelievable you say? Then how else can you explain the trade that went down?!
Ok, I kid. Just wanted to have fun with things. Before I get too serious, though, why was the first thing to pop into my head when the trade was announced this song?
Last week, I gave you my Top 10 for 2017 Fantasy Basketball. Today, I present to you the Top 15 after the Top 10. Since I’ve included the link for the Top 10, it’s technically the Top 25 but not really. Top 15 after Top 10 just doesn’t flow off the tongue properly, so I’ll just go with Top 25. Plus, it’s so cumbersome and annoying for me to write. Similar to if I had to spell out Giannis Antetokounmpo every time. Sure, I could just copy and paste it, but what if I had to copy and paste something else? What if I had to turn off my computer and re-copy and paste? I ain’t got time for that nonsense! Bing! Lightbulb suddenly appears over my head, which is good because my halo is now illuminated. From this day on, I shall call Giannis Antetokounmpo, G. I believe that gets G up to five nicknames now, right? That has to be the dopest nickname of all time. Hear me out. One-names were all the rage back in the day. Cher, Prince, Pele, etc…but then Prince took it to another level by eschewing letters altogether and just going with a symbol. But you know what? A symbol, while cool, is difficult to write. It’s also very difficult to utilize on the computer, although, it’s pretty amazing that people figured out a way to do it. Anyways, G is already on the keyboard. Yes, you do have to press Caps Lock or Shift to get it right, but…damn, you lazy!! Who else do you think of when I say G? When I say G, you say what? G. Anus. See? No bueno. It’s a good thing no one ever reads intros. Well, at least I will know who didn’t read this intro when I get the inevitable, “What does G stand for?”
As always, big shout-out to Slim, who provided projections and insight.
Well, the somber day has come where I have decided to hang up the sneaks (I keep getting kankles!) from Razzball, and focus on one thing more important and one thing less important in my life – my family, and my career. Haha, if anyone at my job stumbles onto this, I’m only kidding! When you work full time along with giving Razzball Hoops the love and tender care it needs, it can stretch you a little thin.
Man, 4.5 years leading the Razzball Basketball charge. I thought it was only 3.5. Can’t believe I took this over at the tail end of the 2012-13 season, had my first articles get maybe 2-3 comments and sometimes none, and the community here grew to what it is today. Still getting all you guys visiting after the season just ended! It’s awesome. I know when people leave they get sappy, and blahty-blah they say emo things, but it’s 100% true that the biggest thing I’m going to miss will be the comments and you commenters. Just having people spend their time dropping by to chat hoops meant the world. In that vein, hit me up any time on Twitter (@jbgilpin) to keep talking some hoops, and I’m sure Razzball Basketball is going to continue to be the best spot on the interwebs for fantasy hoops content.
Can’t believe this is going to be my final post… It’s so weird! Almost 6 years at Razzball, 8 writing for fantasy sports, and it’s just become my time to retire. Blabby run-on intro, JB, what else is new?! Hah, so for my final post, I decided to take it on Daily Notes style, since that was my favorite part of basketball writing. I thought it’d be the most fun to review everything from my tenure notes style, for a look back and the laughs and the cries (F you Andrew Wiggins!) over the years. Slim and I are going to do a sign-off Podcast this week, then I am setting sail around the world (aka, going to spend more time with the family and my new dog). So for the last time, here’s what went down over the last 4.5 years of Razzball Fantasy Basketball:
Playoff basketball – yes spelled “basketball” – is underway, got some great games to kick it off, including from our boy PBev! While I’m coming around and trying to watch more playoff hoops (baseball is still fresh and new, sue me!), I’m still more excited for the hopes and dreams of 2017-18 fantasy titles.
In case you’re still catching up, here’s my Way Too Early Top 10 ranks, which hopefully mostly hold up (they mostly come out at night…) for the 2017-18 season. Of course my boldest call of Rudy #10 gets greeted by a first quarter knee injury in game 1 of the playoffs, hooray! C’mon Rudy, just stay healthy, no one in fantasy cares how you play in the playoffs! Hah! So let’s all hope none of these guys in my 11-25 get injuries their next postseason game… Here’s my Way Too Early Top 25 for the 2017-18 Fantasy Basketball Season:
What a way to kick off the week! Well, that is, if you own Rudy Gobert! Monsieur Elbow says “No!” And “Oui, I own l’paint!” Absolutely monstrous 16/14/3/0/8 last night against the Pacers, hitting 7-12 from the field with only 1 TO.
So much swattage! His 13 blocks the last 2 games now gives him a 13.2/12.8/1.2/0.7/2.6 slash on the year, hitting 65% from the field. Oddly 65.5% from the stripe too! Which isn’t good, but not a punt either. BB Monster has him 20th overall in per game stats, and 12th in total. Absolutely insane draft day value, but it really grinds my gears he’s doing this this year, and not in 2015-16! Had him 11th and well above consensus, just one year too early – stupid FIBA wore him down. Focus on the NBA, you Frenchy! Oh shit, now he’s gonna hunt me with one of those elbows, NOOOOOO!!! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:
Man, what a horrid week for injuries! Highlighted by the worst injury of all: yesterday we got news that JB Gilpin – yes pickup basketball superstar – rolled his ankle in his after-work pickup game on someone else’s fat foot. That’s right, I got a kankle! Some rough swelling, probably out 1-2 weeks, go ahead and give me that INJ tag! No joke, this is the second time in a row I’ve gotten a kankle before a big trip. Now I’m gonna be gimpy walking around Spring Training games on my baseball trip starting this weekend! Stupid kankles…
Anyway, some lower-tier basketball talents also got news of rough injuries, of course highlighted by Kevin Durant‘s MRI revealing a Grade 2 MCL strain and a tibial bone bruise. Stupid Zaza Pachulia flying around willy-nilly! He’s going to be “re-evaluated” in 4 weeks, so there’s no way he’s making an impact on your fantasy playoffs. Mayyyyybe he plays in the last game or two, but I highly doubt it. According to BB Monster, he was by far the best per-game player and total value player, so it’s an unbelievable loss. But hey, he got you to your fantasy playoffs (hopefully) and anything can happen week-to-week in H2H leagues. Injuries are the mother-flippin’ worst! Here’s what else went down across the NBA last night, including one other major injury piece of news:
…comin’ for to carry me OUT of my fantasy playoffs! Brutal news yesterday that Kyle Lowry has to undergo surgery on his right wrist – his shooting wrist – to remove some loose bodies. Should’ve kept those bodies in a well, like Buffalo Bill! “It puts the lotion on the skin!” Without an IL spot, you’re cutting him in your redraft leagues, even with the prospect he gets a couple games in right before the playoffs. The timeline is “hopeful to return in 4-5 weeks”, which would put us in early April. Plus he’s a shooter, and gonna have a rusty wrist. Hah, that sounds like a sex thing… Moving on!
In his place, it’s time for the Cojo mojo! 11/1/6/3/0 then 14/1/6/1/0 over the weekend for Cory Joseph, with only 2 combined TO, showing what kind of sexy roto-asset he could be. But thennnnn, struggled last night – as did the Raps as a while – to knock off the Poppycockers in a 1-point win, going 6/3/4/2/0 with 2 TO. Still got 33:30 minutes, but he’s more in the fringy starting PG class (your Brogdon, McConnell, et ceteras) than in the most-own zone. You could say he’s in the friendzone. Although dudes don’t really have a friendzone, it’s only chicks that apply that logic. The friendzone is a very sexist area! After this dunk in the 2014 Western Conference Finals (back when he was on my REL team), Cojo could have his way with me any time he wanted!
Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:
We’re almost there! It’s almost the time of dunks, crappy exhibition games, and most importantly – the time of getting injured players back. Last night only had 2 games on the schedule, so it’s going to be a short wrap up today! In the first game, the Wizards had a solid win over the Pacers, with a final score of 111-98. The Pacers just didn’t manage any big performances. The second game was a lot more interesting, as Jimmy Butler won it with clutch free throws after a very questionable foul call on Marcus Smart. 104-103 Bulls win.