It’s crunch time people. We are in the playoffs and it’s balls to the wall from here on out. No long intro this week fortunately or unfortunately for you, as my body is still trying to repulse the HPV that Tahitian drag queen gave me in Bora Bora. I can hardly keep my eyes open for you, the readers, I would never leave hanging. Let’s hop right into this past weekend’s hit or miss performances.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After recording three wins in a row the Suns have now suffered back-to-back losses. It appears the Suns are setting again, but the most recent shakeup to the starting line up may prove there’s still fantasy value to be had in Phoenix. Yes, Suns FA pick ups just in time for Daylight Savings–first, the Morris Twins–Markieff Morris had 9 points, 2 rebounds and 3 assists, and Marcus Morris had 12 points, 5 rebounds, and 2 assists. You know I’m a sucker for the twinsies starting together–pulls at all the right heartstrings. This is real basketball people. But I must say fantasy-wise it’s hard to tell them apart–they’re both pretty mediocre. They’re worth watching for now, but if you’re have to own one, Marcus is the brother to own, but they don’t recommend separating the two.
Wesley Johnson could be an even better pick up, and Friday he scored 19 points, with 4 rebounds, 2 steals and 1 block in the start. Wes has developed a sixth man-type role over the past few games but he got the start last night over Jared Dudley and made coach proud. Johnson, a former top 10 pick, always had the pedigree to do this, maybe its about time he got it done. Wesley was the only one who could save Princess Buttercup and if he can continue to play well in this role, maybe he could save your fantasy team come playoff time.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy basketball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Everyone saw it coming. Everyone had it circled on their calendar. The epic in-state rivalry of the NBA’s best team going for their 16th straight win playing at home against… the second-worst team in the NBA. Of course it would be a nail-biter! The Heat went up big, but the Magic went on a 46-21 run and kept it tight until LeBron James’ game-winning layup. Good thing Nikola Vucevic had fouled out so there were no shot blockers left. The Magic certainly didn’t put a spell on the refs, racking up 30 fouls and two foul-outs to the Heat’s 17. Conspiracy! The Magic fouls were illusions! You don’t have time for my illusions! Tricks are what whores do for money. Or cocaine. LeBron better get some nice wedding presents from those home refs. You think Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert got invited? Be funny if Lebron sent him an invite with a -1. This is a fantasy basketball blog right? Hah, let’s get into the numbers from last night’s games:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike D’Antoni is basically the only coach I ever talk about, and it’s partly because of the mustache, partly because of his offensive style. Chris Duhon has become revitalized under his old coach’s system. Last night, he shot for 12 points with 11 assists, 5 rebounds and 4 of 5 from downtown.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If only for one game–but what a game! Larry Sanders, a.k.a. the Sand Man, a.k.a. that bench player on the Bucks, brought himself the game of his dreams last night with his first career triple double, 10 points, 12 rebounds and an incredible 10 blocks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Like the Sandman and Hour-Man, Stephen Curry was a golden age hero. With 31 points, 9 assists, 6 rebounds, 3 threes and 22 2 steals, Curry carried his team to a win over the Mavs. He is currently ranked 47 versus his original 25 spot, but the man is producing 17.5 PPG, 5.5 APG, 2.1 3PG and 1.7 SPG.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Raptors and Cavaliers faced off against Real Madrid and Siena Montepaschi Siena, respectively, and won both games. They did so, however, without much help from beyond the arc. Andrea Bargnani, for example, played in excess of 30 minutes, but missed four of his five three point attempts.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jerryd Bayless had himself one hell of a weekend. He partied with porn stars in Vegas, he won big at the craps tables, he even married Kim Kardashian, only to divorce her 20 minutes later. Oh yeah, and he had lines of 28/9/6/3/1/3 on Friday followed by 29/6/2/4/5 on Saturday.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Miller is set to to make his season debut with the Heat today, which is particularly fortuitous (if I may use that term on a family blog) as the news makes the rounds of Dwyane Wade likely missing more games has resulted in thousands of monkey-punches to the groins of thousands of fantasy basketball teams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what you’re likely to hear around the fantasy blogosphere today: You’re likely to read that Norris Cole scored 14 of Miami’s final 24 points. You’re likely to be reminded of Mario Chalmers‘ embarrassing 6 tovs in 19 minutes. And if you read about those two things, you’re probably likely to read about how Cole is Miami’s newest, shiniest toy.Please, blog, may I have some more?