LOGIN

A popular sleeper on draft day (well, made more popular by us!), Markieff Morris had been driving fantasy owners crazier than Joaquin Phoenix in The Master.

Through the first 10 games, Markieff had numbers eerily identical to what he did last year despite four more MPG.  His engine is on hybrid!  But for as atrocious as his previous 4 games were, broke out in a big way against the Celtics for 30/7/5/4/0 hitting 14-21 shots including a trey.  And only 1 TO!  Career-high scoring for Kieff, after four games in a row under 12 and three of those scoring single-digits.  “I found the beef, it’s Jeff Green‘s terrible D!”  While my Kieff teams are loaded with swagger after this big Monday, there is something slightly concerning with his stats.  Only 1-1 FT last night, and now is under half as many FT makes a game compared to last year, in nearly 5 more minutes a game (playing 39 bumped up his minutes finally!).  In 13-14, Kieff-er Sutherland was at 3.2-4.0 at the charity stripe, but is suddenly more like Donald Sutherland and not attacking the cup.  Less driving means fewer OREB (down from last year sinking his REB per-36), and his dimes have fallen a smidge as well.  None of these stats are major, but it seems he’s not creating and the Suns G-rotation is handling all the rock.  Another week of big stats with weak FT numbers and low-ish dimes – on top of Hornacek’s tendency to roll the hot hand, even the starters – and I’d actually sell high.  The steals and handful of blocks are nice, but not loving the lack of aggression and new role as more a spot-shooter, which could make him benchable to Horny a lot of games if he’s cold, something we’ve already seen a little of with the waffley minutes.  Where’s the beef?!  Let’s hope not in the waffles, but ya never know, that could be good!  Fried chicken n waffles is out of this world.  Here’s what else happened on an unusually busy Monday night of action:

Kenneth Faried – Immediate thought is, “only 22 minutes, under 28 minutes now for the 7th game out of 10, this must’ve been another Nuggets catastrophic loss!”  Turns out, it was just another Cavs catastrophic loss and unbelievable Nuggets upset…  8/1/1/1/2 on 4-6 shooting and got benched down the stretch as there’s reports swirling about how he’s not liked and Shaw is jealous of all that hair he has.  Sucks when fantasy busts are the result of Denver front office guys whipping their dicks out to see whose is longest, I mean c’mon.

Timofey Mozgov – 40 minutes in the shocking win, going 14/11/0/1/1.  The standard deviation of his minutes this year is AK-47.

Darrell Arthur – Mr. Cheap Shot gets a season-high 26 minutes in the re-match against the Cavs after trying to shatter Dion Waiters like he was Mr. Glass.  If I were Blatt, I would’ve gotten one of my DNP-CD guys and subbed him in just to punch Arthur in the face.  I nominate Lou Amundson!  An extra “F you, Arthur!” by having a ponytailed guy knock you out.  13/11/2/2/0 for Mr. CS, and I’ve always liked his stroke, but J.J. Hickson sat out the back-to-back and the big man minutes are more in flux than your stomach after eating from the rusty taco truck.

Arron Afflalo – Staying relevant after a brutal stretch last week for 23/4/3/0/1 hitting 4 treys.  17+ Pts the past three and 4 of the past 5, so hopefully you held onto A-R-RON!

Al Jefferson – After looking awesome, another horrific one shooting 3-12 with 5 boards.  The rebounds will come up and I’m buying low to da flo.

Bismack Biyombo – Pretty much is a rich man’s John Henson right now.  Muppet Bash!  4/8 with two blocks last night and 18 points, 22 boards and 4 blocks the last three games, after previously playing only 3 minutes the rest of the season.

Jameer Nelson – Better late than, well friggin’ ever ya schlub!  11/2/8/2/0 with only 1 TO shooting 4-6 (3-4 3PTM).  Exactly the kind of game I envisioned him having in preseason… Devin Harris played only 10 minutes last night having to leave with lower leg soreness.  Really, D-Hair?!  Hurt already?!  J.J. Barea had 7 dimes in 19 minutes and there’s still the obese ghost of Raymond Felton to waddle his way back, so not much you can do with Nelson and his “good game”.

Isaiah Thomas – Had the bad game, as my theory of 1/3 Suns PG always plays terrible hold true again.  5/3/4 with 3 TO shooting 1-8.

Goran Dragic – I told ya’lls to have balls!  And hold em like they’re the size of dragon balls [insert Dragon Ball Z joke here, as I have absolutely no clue about what it’s even about, except anime or something…].  22/6/7/2/0 shooting 9-15 with three treys.

Eric Bledsoe – Very similar 15/5/7/3/0 line for E-Bled.  Crapping on Boston like his older brother Drew!

Alex Len – Career me!  19/7/0/1/0. Shot 8-10, you hate to see the no blocks, and Miles Plumlee down to 19 minutes.  Hornacek sticking to his guns and playing the hot hand, any starter is subject to a 20 minute game…

Rajon Rondo – Dwight Howard-ed you!  2-10 FT…  Near trip-dub for 14/10/9, but maybe that healed up hand is still giving him a little bit of an issue.  He already said he sometimes showers 5 times a day, so there’s a logical little hand workout he could do that wouldn’t cut into his schedule much…

Jeff Green – Near rainbow.  I nearly care.

Tobias Harris – I watched a lot of this Magic win against the Pistons, and Harris is the leader of this team.  24/5/4/5/1 and I don’t own him anywhere.  “JB, you blowhard!”

Evan Fournier – The Virgin is so amped up, he’s handin’ out the ball like after losing his V-Card!  Huh?  14/2/8 hitting three treys.  Fully integrated into Orlando’s Ratatouille.

Victor Oladipo – The numbers don’t bare it out, but looked really good and explosive.  11/6/3/0/1 shooting 3-5 (1-1 3PTM 4-5 FT) in 32 minutes.  You hate the 4 TO, but the buy low opportunity is about to have some cold-pool shrinkage.

Heat PG with no Dwyane Wade – As I mentioned yesterday, use em both right now!  Norris Cole with a fine 12/2/3/1/0 line hitting a pair of treys, but it was Mario Chalmers that had the biggie in a Heat W last night, with a team-high 22 points for 22/3/5/2/0 and an aggressive 11-13 FT.  You probably won’t get much Chuck for Norris, but Chalmers is a great sell high.

Chris Bosh – After the first week or two, people were starting to anoint him fantasy MVP.  Well, maybe that’s hyperbolic, but I wasn’t huge on Bosh and took some metaphorical self-flagellation for it…  15/9/1/1/0 is fine and all for last night, but averaging 13.5 points and 6 boards the past 4 games, and through the past 7 is 4 for his past 24 from deep.  That’s Josh Smith territory!  High-volume FT shooting is great and all, but throw out the 5-block game against the “You’ve got to be Kidd-ing” Bucks and he’s had only 2 other swats on the year.  Just throwing an ice bucket challenge worth of cold water on him if he’s being valued too high!

Bojan Bogdanovic – 22 points hitting 4 treys and not much else.  ThrAGNOF!  Adding him to my FA booty call list.  Nets are terrible…

James Harden – Speaking of terrible, what happened to the Beard?!  In the battle of 9-1 teams, Memphis crushed the Heat limiting the Beard to 6/5/4/2/1, shooting 1-8 with 3 TO.  At least it’s multi-cat!

Courtney Lee – This is getting a little ridiculous.  6-7 FG hitting 3-4 treys as the basket is wider that Kim Kardashian’s [wait for it!] insatiable need for attention!  You thought I was going somewhere else, this is a family blog!  Came into the night shooting 54% rom the field and 60% from deep, both to go up.  HItting the Ray J’s harder than [wait for it!] … yeah we get it JB…

Kosta Koufos – Ailing with the bad ankle, James Johnson Space Jammed himself, and transferred his talent into a balding Greek national…  5-6 FG for a 10/6/1/3/3 near rainbow.  Had only 2 steals and 5 blocks prior to this game, plus it was a worthless blowout, but if he had hit his first career three as well, I would expect to see a mini-James Johnson controlling Koufos’ body Men in Black style.

Michael Carter-Williams – Sayonara, Tony Wroten‘s fantasy value!  MCW for 16/5/4/2/0 off the bench in 30 minutes, shooting 7-14 (1-5 3PTM 1-3) and 3 TO.  It’s like he’s the same MCW!  Let’s go rust, pull a Swift and Shake it Off!  Still a pretty solid game, as Wroten disappeared for 8/1/3/1/0 shooting 4-14 with 4 TO as the 30-minute starter.

Robert Covington – Got some deep league buzz and was kinda meh at the eye level.  6/3/2/2/0 in 17 minutes, maybe they give him so run deeper into the year to see what the have, but meh.

Nerlens Noel – “Hey Brett Brown, the starting line-up called and asked if you want to win games!”  Oh wait, we know the answer to that…  Only 25 minutes off the bench for 4/6/0/1/1 shooting 2-8.  I bet they made up his ankle injury just as a catalyst to bench him for smaller minutes to help the drunk tank.

Cory Joseph – Second highest in Spurs minutes with 26 behind Danny Green‘s 28.  You gotta love seeing the Sixers on the sched if you’re Pop, you can more or less bench your players AND not get fined by the league for doing so!  14/5/2/1/0 with a trey and a big 7-9 FT in a good stream game if you read yesterday!

LaMarcus Aldridge – The other game I watched a good bit of, and L.A. still looked like he was getting over his illness but racked up a very solid 22/9/2/1/0 in a ridiculous comeback win.  He’s down with the sickness!

Steve Blake – 2/2 on stream calls last night, that’s for sure!  5/2/7/1/0 shooting 2-2 (1-1 3PTM).  Portland is off until Friday, so Nicolas Batum should be back to reclaim his minutes though… With 3 straight off days, if you were streaming Blake you mayeth moveth oneth.

Robin Lopez – He’s just so bad at basketball!  Ugh!!!! 8/6/1/1/1, I am kidding of course and that’s fine and all, but only 27 minutes to another 21 for Chris Kaman as they divvied out all the center minutes between the two of them.  Rolo is much less the main show and now the side show!

Omer Asik – After planning to play, got benched with the back.  After that flukey 5-block opener, 5 swats in the next 7 games and is looking a little Tristan Thompson-ish.  I was never an Asik guy, so it’s easier for me to move on.

Anthony Davis – Just unfair.  RainBrow line?  Check.  Low TO.  Check.  Huge-volume over-50% shooting?  Check.  Should JB have really followed up with Anthony Davis’ 25-1 MVP odds sports bet after picking him to be the MVP?  Discount double check.  31/11/3/3/3 with ZERO TO shooting 14-20.  I hate when I make a great call and it doesn’t impact any of my fantasy teams… Why couldn’t he have been pre-ranked 5th or 6th or something?!

Taj Gibson – I’ve had to fight a little for him, and here’s why!  Plays behind DNP-Sluts!  Pau Gasol was probable, ended up sitting with a calf, giving Gibby 41 minutes and a redonk 20/5/6/1/2 line with no TO shooting 9-13.

Jimmy Butler – Another huge line with no Derrick Rose.  22/6/8/2/0.  Sell high to the Rose owners, folks!

Guess the Kobe Stat Line – We’re back with another installment!  So much fun this year as his efficiency is lower than Obama’s approval ratings!  Going at the Hawks… Hmmm… I think this is a tamer one.  22/4/5 shooting 19 shots.  Good luck on your PTS/REB/AST guesses, and don’t forget those shots taken as a tie-breaker!  Winner tomorrow to receive a future signed copy of my first book, which I am hoping to write years ago… Oh how the time flies…

 

Streamers:

Khris Middleton (5% owned) – Why do I have to play in RCL leagues with smart owners?!?!?!  Wanted him for both of my RCL teams in the early afternoon yesterday, and was scooped up.  Once by Slim.  Ugh.  There’s risk involved, sure, but he seemed back into the rotation last Sunday and started the second half in a big Bucks win against the Heat.  Nice minutes and multi-cat upside against the horrible Knicks should be a solid play.

Thabo Sefolosha (3% owned) – I struggled with this one, but am using him in one RCL for some defensive stats upside.  Hawks are against those Kobe-brick-every-shot Lakers, so some boards could fall into his lap as well.  DeMarre Carroll is currently questionable with a Holden McGroin, so if you can make immediate changes, I would go elsewhere if Carroll is active.

 

I hope no one is coming out of their matchups like me, as I have a severe case of the Mondays!  Seems like I was 4-5 games played behind in all my matchups this week, not benefitting from the big Monday slate.  But F-in A!  I’ll turn it around and pull my teams out of the ashes like a Swingline Stapler.  Have a good Tuesday everyone!