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March Madness starts today and a lot of people’s brackets will inevitably be busted almost immediately. At least that’s how it goes for me most years, but let’s not worry about that right now. When March Madness goes awry NBA DFS will be here for the rebound! We have a small five-game slate here so fewer options are available than usual. #1 piece of advice as always is to be up to date on injuries, as the info in this article will only be up to date as of Tuesday night. Value is rough right now and you’re going to have to play some mid range players that aren’t ideal.

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Burning bridges. No good, as you never know what the universe has in store for the future. Having water under the bridge? A good sign because that means climate change hasn’t evaporated a big percentage of the water on Earth. Mikal Bridges? Well, he was always a solid fantasy asset because he chipped in everywhere without hurting anywhere. Now, Mikal is making it rain so many fantasy goodies that the water flowing under this Bridges is causing the fantasy landscape to transform before our eyes. On Sunday, there was a flash flood warning due to:

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After Julius Randle hit one of the more ridiculous game-winning threes last night to push the Knickerbockers past the Heat, I came up with the above headline. The only problem: I’ve never actually had an Orange Julius – which may be a sin in some cultural circles. Without a frame of reference to consider how Randle may compare the American quencher, I turned to my wife for help:

“It’s like better than an icy.” “I thought it was a smoothy. So it’s like an icy?” “No it’s not an icy.” “So what is it?” “It’s hard to describe. It’s indescribable. It’s like magic.” “So it’s like a mix between an icy and a smoothy?” “No. You’re obviously not getting it. Who are you trying to compare it to?” “It doesn’t matter, I just haven’t had one so just want a description to see if there’s any comparison.” “The most delicious thing I’ve put in my mouth.”

And that was the end of that conversation. 

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I mean, you can, but would it be allowed in modern English? Perhaps, perhaps not. Am I supposed to know English? But let’s go deeper, something your mother enjoys all the time. In this regard, one might ponder not just about your mother, but also the fact that you can’t spell “luck” with Luka because the dude is just pure talent and skill. Luck is the last thing he needs. And don’t look at me, I’m not a Luka Doncic fanboy either, I’ve honestly never seen so much basketball talent executed in the slowest way possible. Man moves like the most agile molasses I’ve ever seen and I swear it takes roughly 18 minutes to wind up his shot. And the constant chirping… sure, I understand he doesn’t get the same calls like Steph does, but 18 technical fouls per quarter can sometimes be exhausting to watch.

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Iiiiitttt waaaas k-k-kiiiinnnd-uhhhv a slooooow F-f-frrrriiiiidayyyy niiiite innn thaaaa Ennn-Beeee-Aaaaa, wiithh-th ooonnnleeeee fiiiiiive gammmmess ooon the d-d-dooockkkkett …

It is difficult to write in slow motion. It’s got to be even harder to play a professional sport in slow motion. But the man they call Slo Mo [still wondering why his nickname isn’t The Sloth, since he even resembles the lovable creature], Kyle Anderson, is the enigma [another nickname possibility!] of the modern day game where stinging athleticism makes headlines. 

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Big bounce-back game for Rui Hachimura who went from scoring 0 against the New York Knicks a few days ago to matching his career-high with 30 points in the win.
All five starters finished in double figures, but Kyle Kuzma led the way with 25 points, ten rebounds, and six assists; Notably, the Wizards’ injury issues continue to plague them. While this was only Bradley Beal’s second game back from his hamstring injury, Kristaps Porzingis was the next to fall as he went down in the third quarter with a left ankle sprain. This team cannot catch a break.

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I’ve always been fascinated with how humans can control other objects. The Shaolin monks are able to access the energy of the universe and light things on fire from a distance. Think Ryu’s Hadoken from Street Fighter. Random people can spin a 10-pound ball down a lane and knock down pins. Others can use a stick and make a ball spin like planets in an orbit around a table. For hoops, the ultimate joy is making the net dance after launching the ball into the air with the perfect amount of backspin. I always appreciated the chain-linked nets. There was nothing better than that sound. In the NBA, there’s no need to ghettofy things as they can supply the finest nylon for their nets. On Sunday, Julius Randle was the conductor of a nylon ballet, putting on a show for the Detroit crowd.

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Christmas Day is among the most hyped lineup of games during the NBA season. But Friday, Dec. 23, was a Festivus celebration for the rest of us. After all, the Association exemplifies feats of strength and airing of grievances this time of year, as the slow-starting teams begin to gripe in the locker room, trade chatter reaches new highs, and the established powers of the season start showing more muscle in impressive wins. 

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Regarding last week’s suggestions, Walker Kessler was already a hot add but Kelly Olynyk missing some time with an ankle injury makes him even more must add, while Jordan Goodwin had a good run and is still a steals specialist but with the Wizards healthier, he becomes more of a 16-team league player. Finally, Maxi Kleber got unlucky and injured his hamstring in practice, while the two “Sell” suggestions from last week, Jalen Smith and John Wall did nothing to change their status as players I don’t want in my fantasy team.

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I’ve always had the need for speed. Since I was able to reach the pedals, my legs always pushed them to the metal. Video games helped to refine my urges, as the experience of playing countless other driving games gave me the experience and instincts to anticipate potential hazards while identifying slivers of space to maneuver through. For you New Yorkers, I used to pick up a buddy on the Jersey side of the GW bridge then see how fast I could make it to the east side of Manhattan. Sure, that was driving on expert mode, and we should’ve died more than a few times, but we always escaped unscathed. Oh, what a thrill. The same emotion is elicited when I watch the fantasy points rack up for Joel Embiid this season. He’s scored at least 30 points 11 times this season with three over 40 and a high of 59. On Sunday, he did this:

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Following back-to-back years of Top 40 production, Terry Rozier has disappointed so far this season, mainly due to some rookie-level percentages (in fact, his worst percentages since his rookie season as it stands). But he’s just a hot shooting streak away from producing as owners have become accustomed to, and on Friday he helped the Hornets edge the Wizards 117-116. Rozier scored 25 points on 8-of-21 shooting, 2-of-5 from deep, with 5 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals and a season-low zero turnovers. Charlotte has been paying the doctor’s new vacation home so far this season, and Rozier’s percentages should benefit whenever (if ever) LaMelo Ball and Gordon Hayward return. For the time being, the assists are up along with his usage rate, and he’s a great buy target, especially for those punting the FG% category.

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