G – General Audiences. PG – Parental Guidance Suggested. PG-13 – Parents Strongly Cautioned. R – Restricted. NC-17 – Adults Only. Then it jumps to XXX. Unfortunately, this is not a category for Xander Cage, but more of the Pornhub variety. That’s obviously NSFW. Well, we need to have a new category thanks to Paul George. PG NSFW.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
47 12 10 2 0 2 8/13 15/26 9/11

Children can still watch because there is no nudity or violence, but his performances have been NSFW because he’s been turning defenders into mush. Like the scorpion who injects venom into its prey and liquifies the insides. Plus, all the hooting, hollering, and people trying to copy his moves in the workplace is not safe. Man, I’m still so sad that PG is not a Laker. As you’ll see later, too much crying for me in one post. Anyways, PG has been freaking unbelievable this season. He’s the #3 player for fantasy, and he’s been there consistently all season long. Over the past six games, he’s the #2 player!!! The usage rate has been 33 and he’s been averaging 23 shot attempts, 38 points, 5,8 tres, 6.8 boards, 2.8 dimes, and 2.3 steals. His performance has been porn for his owners all season long.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I used to smoke plenty of trees back in the day. Now, no more smoking at all, as I’m trying to be healthier, but I will still partake in the gummy treats. Regardless of the delivey method, the THC (tetrahydrocannobinol) still gets me nice and toasty, which is what the experience of owning and watching Tobias Harris play this season has been. Last night….

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 7 5 0 0 6 6/7 13/21 2/3

For the season, Harris is a top 25 player. Is he a superstar? That’s debatable, as he doesn’t contribute much in the D cats and the usage is only 25. Most of the superstars have usage rates in the 30s. With that said, he provides 20+ points, 2 tres, 7 boards, and 4 dimes with good percentages. He also hasn’t missed a game this year, despite being banged up. The prior two years, Harris played 80 and 82 games. There’s value in that, as one cannot accumulate fantasy points if one is not on the court. Anyways, Harris is an UFA after this season and will get paid. He’s also only 26 years old, entering the prime of his career, so there’s a chance that he can continue improving. That would make all his owners nice and toasty indeed.

UPDATE: Harris, along with Boban Marjanovic, and Mike Scott were traded to PHI for Landry Shamet, Wilson Chandler, Mike Muscala, 2020 1st, 2021 1st via MIA (unprotected), 2021 2nd, and 2023 2nd.

All hail The Logo.

That PHI starting lineup looks kind of diesel as well, though.

  • Ben Simmons
  • J. J. Redick
  • Jimmy Butler
  • Tobias Harris
  • Joel Embiid

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You listen to Kyrie Irving and get hypnotized, as the voice is smooth and the delivery is graceful. Then he hits you with the “Earth is flat” or “Ask me July 1.” Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. It’s the same story on the court, as the bevy of moves get you transfixed. Dribble, dribble, then jab step with the right foot, behind-the-back dribble, change directions with the left foot, then explode to the basket for 2. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

I have a hard time replicating his moves in NBA 2K! Anyways, yesterday:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 4 11 0 1 4 1/5 14/19 1/1

For the season, he’s a top 10 player, and has been the #4 player over the past four games, averaging 36.6 minutes, 27.8 points, 2.3 threeecolas, 5.8 boards, 9.3 dimes, 3 steals, and 0.5 blocks while shooting 54% from the field and 90% from the line. The usage rate has been over 30. So sick. For shits and giggles, I wanted to see how this season has compared to those in the past. The 49% shooting from the field, 41% from downtown, 1.2 offensive rebounds, 4.9 rebounds, 6.9 dimes, 1.7 steals, and 0.5 blocks are all career-highs. I knew he was having a good season. I didn’t know he was having a great one. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At 3:50 pm EST on January 31, 2019, Kristaps Porzingis, along with Courtney Lee, Tim Hardaway Jr., Trey Burke, and two future first-round picks (one unprotected) were traded to the Dallas Mavericks for Dennis Smith Jr., Wes Matthews, and DeAndre Jordan. Whoa. There are so many layers to address that let’s just get right into it. WTF! Porzingis just got traded! 7′ 3″ and 240 pounds, Porzingis can do it all; post up, break defenders down on the perimeter, shoot from downtown, and protect the rim on defense. Really, the only thing he didn’t do much of was dish out dimes (1.3 career assists per game). He was rightfully nicknamed The Unicorn.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Earlier in the season, I was ROFL and LMAO, as LaMarcus Aldridge was struggling with consistency. He’d pop a 37-point game then produce back-to-back 15-pointers. In the month of December, he scored 6 points twice and blessed us with a 7-point outburst. But then, things started to click. The consistency returned and now he is the lede for this world famous blog. Ok, maybe not famous but we are international, so world is appropriate. Shout out to all the homies in other countries.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
30 9 6 1 2 2 0/2 12/21 6/6

Over the past seven games, LMA has been a top 20 player. On the season, he’s top 25. Who’s laughing now? Surely not I. Sorry Shirley. Wasn’t talking to you. Anyways, DeMar DeRozan missed yesterday’s game, but regardless, LMA has had a usage rate over 30 over the past seven games and attempting 17.4 shots per game. The efficiency is excellent (53% from the field and 85% from the line). While he won’t provide many threeecolas, LMA averages 23.1 points, 9 boards, 3.6 dimes, 0.6 steals, and 1.9 blocks. LMA with the O!

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Kenneth Faried
has come out of obscurity, buried deep on the Nets bench, and has exploded onto the court for the Rockets and savvy fantasy GMs in less than a week. He keeps showing up and putting up big numbers. Not only has he immediately provided his normal points and boards with high efficiency, but he has suddenly added steals and blocks. He even hit a 3! The free throw shooting is still horrific, but the diverse offering he’s served up so far have been great.

FG FT 3PT Points Reb Assists Steals Blocks TO
8/11 5/9 NA 21 14 0 0 2 0

This was his best scoring and rebounding performance yet. He was all over the court in this one and made his presence known. While he’s been an incredibly fun story this week, this has sell high written all over it. With Clint Capela returning in a few weeks, there probably won’t be a better time to gauge his value than immediately after a big performance in a nationally televised game. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy all the fun of rostering a player called the Manimal.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s a contentious time in our nation’s capital. Bryce Harper may be departing, the name White House is being taken a little too literally, and questions abound regarding the viability of the Wall. That is why I propose that we, as a fantasy nation, Kneel4Beal 2020. Good things come from kneeling: marriage proposals, getting knighted, […]

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Once a decade or so, a rookie comes into the league and, not only is it extremely obvious that they are special, they immediately hit the floor running. Not since LeBron has a rookie demonstrated All-Star level production, keeping up with and often times dominating seasoned pros in the best basketball league in the world. Luka Doncic provides matchup issues for opposing teams and is such a dynamic offensive force for the Mavs, making every teammate better. While making serious waves in the NBA, in fantasy he still has plenty of areas he can improve. Currently, he’s been hovering around the top 80 in standard category leagues. The main culprits of keeping his fantasy value anchored are his percentages and turnovers. He also has room to grow in the steals department. For now, he’s an exciting, yet flawed player to roster on your fantasy squad, but he’s already one of the most fun players in real life and fantasy.

Luka Doncic

FG FT 3PT Points Reb Assists Steals Blocks TO
10/23 7/10 2/9 29 8 12 2 0 1

Luka was 2 boards short of messing around and was just a savage in this one. He scored at all 3 levels and was the obvious leader of the Mavs. When the percentages start to creep up, look out, because the sky’s the limit for Doncic.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the beautiful things about the English language is its vast nature. One of the worst things about the English language is its vast nature. Take the word crane for example. It can describe a type of bird, a machine that lifts objects, or a specific type of neck movement. How about Derrick Rose saying “kill yourself” the other day? In a vacuum, it’s a terrible thing to say, but if you delve into the context, it does make some sense. It’s basically slang for “shut the F up.” Now, what about the expression “god damnit?” It’s usually used to express frustration or angst, but it’s also a military expression of encouragement. Thanks urban dictionary. Anyways, I’m going through all of this because of what Landry Shamet did last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
29 3 1 1 0 1 8/14 8/15 5/5

In 24 minutes off the bench! God Shamet! Am I calling Shamet a God? Am I expressing awe and amazement? Am I frustrated because I did not play him in DFS? It’s all about context, right? At the same time, I could answer yes to all three. Gotta love the English language. Shamet has appeared in every game this season, so he has the trust of the coaching staff and fills a specific need for the Sixers, which is to space the floor and knock down shots. From a fantasy perspective, he doesn’t have that much value, as he doesn’t play enough minutes or jack up the necessary shots. On the season, he’s averaging 4.4 threeecola attempts per game and, outside of last night, he had only one other game with more than 10 attempts. With that said, it was nice to have him as the lede, as it was getting boring talking about the same guys over and over. In addition, he’s someone to monitor if injury strikes or he does take on a more significant role as the season progresses.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Everyone has their favorite fast-food burger and no one can agree on which one is best. Here on the East Coast, the “Big Three” are McDonalds, Wendy’s, and Burger King. Everyone has their preference. None of them are the best burger you’ll ever have, but when at 1 AM there are limited options. James Borrego had limited options last night with Cody Zeller out and he decided to give Bismack Biyombo the start to try and match up with Nikola Jokic. It didn’t really work out, but he ended up getting 30 minutes and putting up a decent line going 16-12-0-2-2-2 on 7-of-10 shooting and 2-for-3 FTs. Who knows if he’ll continue to get minutes, but Zeller is slated to miss at least four weeks so he could be worth a speculative add. Side note: Borrego is Lamb in Spanish. Jeremy Lamb plays for the Hornets, but was out last night. Illuminati confirmed. Here’s what else went down in the NBA last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?