I started writing a movie plotline starring Damian Lillard in Canada as a male counterpoint to Stella in the Bahamas, but decided to spare you fine readers that pending trainwreck (and possible violation for racial insensitivity from the Razzball board of directors) and get right down to basketball.  With Giannis taking the night off, Lillard […]

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The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. The Bergens are coming, AHHH. 

For those without kids, that’s Branch in “Trolls” overreacting because he’s scared of success (and friendship), just like so many fantasy basketball players will overreact to the first couple games, when regular bench rotations guys will be proclaimed breakouts of the season, and busts will be said to abound as the rust gets knocked off the boots. 

However, while we definitely don’t want to overreact, let’s remember: Branch ended up being right. You don’t want to be caught with that average penny stock and telling yourself, “any day now, it’s gunna go crazy!” [Checks portfolio, sighs with depression, gets back to basketball.] Keep an eye on minutes, rotations and usage more than the general stat lines in these early going. 

And with that piece of nonsensical advice, let’s get on with the show! Here’s what caught my eye in the 12 games of the unofficial official opening night in The Association.

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20 years ago, UPS had an ad campaign with the slogan, “What can Brown do for you?” 

Brown says: Make your life easier

Brown tells me that you have all the choices you want

Brown says to me: Get your shipments to your customers, when they need it and where they need it

Brown says: Relax, we’ll get it done

Brown says: How about some more pie?

Brown didn’t say that

What a stupid ass commercial but it serves our purpose today because Jaylen Brown freaking delivered the goods on Sunday.

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week 18!  In this post, I identify widely available players who can help you win your head-to-head matchup.  We’re about two thirds of the way through the weirdest portion of the fantasy season, when fantasy and actual teams are disrupted by trades leading and teams pack on extra rest days for their players leading up to the All-Star Break (ASB).  To make it even more strange, Week 18 spans 13-26 February in most formats, which gives us a total of eight game days to consider.  Enjoy the next few days of maybe not thinking as much about fantasy hoops (who am I kidding), because for most of you, the chance at postseason glory is right around the corner!

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Regarding last week’s suggestions, I hope you followed the Desmond Bane one, as he shot the ball incredibly this week so the buy low window is shut. Meanwhile, Royce O’Neale had two good and one awful game but he remains an add until Kevin Durant returns, while Patrick Williams unfortunately couldn’t capitalize on DeMar DeRozan’s absence properly. Finally, on the “Sell” front, Jordan Clarkson continues to take advantage of absences in Utah and thus continues to be a good sell high target.

No Sell portion this week as it is a week with a tight schedule and lots of good streaming candidates to add.

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week 11!  In this post, I identify widely-available players who can help you win your head-to-head matchup.  It’s not often that big injury news serendipitously breaks right before I write my piece, but that’s exactly what happened last night, with the Suns announcing a minimum of four weeks’ down time for Devin Booker.  My late grandmother, who followed Chicago sports, used to refer to groin injuries by exclaiming, “he’s got a groin!”  Well, Devin booker has got a groin, folks, and it’s going to cost Phoenix in the near term.

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I was watching Dahmer the other day on Netflix, and there’s a scene toward the end of the series where Jeffrey Dahmer (infamous serial killer) seeks wisdom and guidance from a priest in prison. Dahmer says, “Even in Star Wars, I always liked the bad guys more,” to which the priest replies, “So did I… those characters are written better.”

With that in mind, is there a villain in the NBA whose storyline is written any wilder than Kyrie Irving’s? Back in his Cleveland Cav days, Kyrie was my favorite player in the NBA, and now he even plays for my favorite team – the Brooklyn Nets. And yet, for a plethora of obvious reasons, Kyrie has gone from my favorite to most hated player in basketball. For lovers of The Villain – like Dahmer, who was one himself – has an NBA storyline ever been written like this before?

(1) It all started when Kyrie dropped a bomb on us… apparently the world is flat. That’s when we knew things were starting to change in the young man’s mind. (2) Then he wore out his welcome in Boston, and capped that off by enraging Celtics fans when he stomped on their logo, Lucky the Leprechaun. (3) Then he became THE anti-vaxxer in the NBA – the poster boy for dissent – and cost the Nets their season in the process. (4) Then came Alex Jones, I don’t think I need to say more on that, followed by (5) The Grand Finale, going down as arguably the worst anti-Semite in the history of the NBA.

And yet, after all that disgusting content and embarrassment, Kyrie refused to vanish into Cancellation. In fact, he seemed to return to the court as strong as ever. Is he simply embracing his newfound role as basketball’s Supervillain? Let’s jump into Wednesday night’s NBA slate to get a deeper understanding of Kyrie’s fantasy basketball adjustments.

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Welcome to your midweek guidance for Week Seven!  In this post, I help you identify widely-available players who can help win your head-to-head matchup.  The NBA’s revolving door of injuries keeps churning out opportunities for lesser-known players, with Karl-Anthony Towns being the latest big name to cop a multi-week ailment.  A number of players could stand to benefit from filling the enormous production vacuum vacated by KAT, and I detail a couple frontrunners in the list below.  On the good news front, we should see Damian Lillard, James Harden, and Kris Middleton return from extended absences within the next four days, which will restore some balance in the universe.

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Another week, another weird stat that caught my attention from around the magical world of the NBA. James Wiseman has not enjoyed the best of starts to his career and the injuries that he has suffered have certainly not helped his case. However, the stat is that he is a minus 35 in 5 games in the G League. Not good. He was not a plus in any of those games, joining a very bad company of Haseem Thabeet and Anthony Bennett as the only top 2 draft picks to be sent down to the G League for development purposes. I am not saying that he is a lost cause, but it certainly does not seem very promising. Check out this very interesting video with more analysis on the Wiseman issue.

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