Sliding into the DMs gets such a bad rap. I’ve done it many times. For instance, when I needed assistance in doing projections for fantasy basketball, I slid into the DMs of a bunch of fantasy hoops analysts. Geez, I’m such a nerd. I’ve never slid into the DMs for sexy time, though, although I’ve heard that it happens. I’d imagine it gets steamy in there but you have to be careful as I’ve seen many women keep receipts and plaster them all over the internet. If I slide into a steamy DM, my wife would have nothing to worry about because it would be just me slobbering away at the performance of a fantasy baller. On Sunday, I was all about sliding into the DMs of Donovan Mitchell. But then I thought better of it because, while I’m a nerd, I’m a respectfully tasteful nerd.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 38 | 3 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 8/13 | 12/20 | 6/8 |
I need a cigarette, and I quit many years ago.
Through six games this season, Mitchell is averaging 38.9 minutes, 32.2 points, 4.2 treys, 4.5 boards, 7.3 dimes, 1.7 steals and 0.5 blocks while garnering a 33.4% usage rate. He’s a top 10 player on a per-game basis! Now, before we go crowning his ass, keep in mind that Darius Garland has been out. The usage and counting stats will subside when Garland returns. That said, I’ve always loved Mitchell from the days of Summer League before his rookie season. I remember him playing lockdown defense and showing off his athleticism. Anyways, he makes the Cavaliers one of the top teams in the league and the DMs will be steamy on many more occassions I bet.
Here’s what else I saw yesterday:
Dean Wade
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 22 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/8 | 8/11 | 0 |
I love that Dean Wade is the opposite of Dwayne Wade in every possible way. For starters, Dean is white while Dwayne is black. Dean is a spot-up shooter while Dwayne was more of a slasher. But as Michael Jackson so eloquently sang, it don’t matter….
Caris LeVert
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 1 | 3 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0/4 | 0/9 | 1/1 |
Talk about shooting your load. On Friday night, LeVert put up 41 points on 12-of-21 shooting from the field. Too many steamy DMs on Friday night that probably morphed into some champagne rooms.
Kevin Love
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 29 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8/13 | 9/14 | 3/3 |
Love often hurts but Love can also provide bliss. On Sunday, Love provided plenty of bliss, with a ton of menage a trois. Damn, this recap piece is heading in a direction that may require a XXX designation.
Isaac Okoro
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 2 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0/2 | 0/3 | 2/2 |
The minutes have been all over the place for Okoro: 12, 27, 20, 12, 5 and 22 last night. I read an article in the offseason how he’s been working hard on his J and that he could be an integral part of the rotation due to his defensive ability. It doesn’t look like that is going to come to fruition. The main reason I highlighted Okoro is because he’s scored two points in each of the last five games. I don’t know why but that’s funny to me.
Jalen Brunson
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0/3 | 8/19 | 0/1 |
Brunson has attempted 18, 11, 16, 15, 10 and 19 shots while dishing out nine, six, six, 13, two and seven dimes.
Isaiah Hartenstein
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 12 | 9 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0/1 | 6/10 | 0 |
Played 27 minutes off the bench because Mitchell Robinson only played 21 minutes due to foul trouble. Shocker.
Bol Bol
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 11 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 0/1 | 7/10 | 2/2 |
Made his second straight start and played 30 minutes on Sunday. Bol Bol is fourth in blocks per game at 2.3. With Cole Anthony out for a while, I don’t see why Bol Bol won’t continue to be an integral part of the rotation. The best defensive lineups have Bol Bol in them. He is so unique that he can make it rain from downtown while he has the handle package to grab a rebound and lead a fastbreak, then euro step defenders in the lane. The Magic have employed the JumBol lineup that includes Bol (7’2″), Wagner (6’10”), Banchero (6’10”) and WCJ (6’10”).
Mo Bamba
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 5 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1/1 | 2/4 | 0 |
Bamba has looked pretty good when I’ve watched him, and I’ve been watching a ton of Magic games. JumBol!!!! Anyways, Bamba has only played 12, 15, 12, 14, 7, 17 and 17 minutes, so that nukes his fantasy upside.
Luka Doncic
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 44 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2/9 | 17/26 | 8/14 |
Doncic has a 40.8% usage rate:
Doncic is averaging 36.7 points, 9.5 rebounds, 8.7 dimes and 1.7 steals:
Doncic is shooting 50% from the field and 78% from the line:
HALLE F’ING LUKA!
Christian Wood
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 5 | 10 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0/1 | 2/6 | 1/1 |
After scoring at least 23 points in each of the first three games, Wood has gone limp and put up 11, 11 and 5 in the last three. The concerning thing is that he has yet to play 30 minutes in a game.
A black cloud engulfed the city of San Antonio over the offseason, as the Spurs traded away Dejounte Murray and looked to have activated Project Wembanyama. After five wins in the first seven games, the fans of the Spurs are donning their black jerseys with pride. Josh Richardson, Jeremy Sochan and Devin Vassell did not play on Sunday while Josh Primo was doing Josh Primo things. Despite that, the Spurs took care of business over Minnesota by the count of 107-98.
Keita Bates-Diop
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 18 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1/5 | 6/15 | 5/5 |
Got the start and played 23 minutes. The answer is no.
Keldon Johnson
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 25 | 6 | 8 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 5/10 | 8/15 | 4/4 |
This Johnson gets me so excited. The shot looks a little funky but it goes in, and that’s all that matters. He’s garnering a 27.2% usage rate and is a top 40 player on the season.Will he remain there? Not sure, and it’s probably a tall ask, but he will be given every opportunity to.
Jakob Poeltl
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 4 | 14 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2/2 | 0 |
I like a man who knows how to stay in his lane. Actually, I like anyone or anything that stays in their lane, especially when they are in the lane next to me. If I saw a dog in the driver’s seat, I’d be surprised but I don’t discriminate. Just don’t cross the line and we good.
Doug McDermott
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 7/14 | 8/16 | 0 |
McBuckets supersized the stat sheet on Sunday in 25 minutes off the bench. Ever been to McDonald’s after promising the kids that you’d get them an ice cream cone, then finding out that the ice cream machine isn’t working? That’s the McDermott experience. He can easily play 12 minutes and score three points, so just prepare yourself for disappointment if going to McBuckets.
Karl-Anthony Towns
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 11 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 1/7 | 10/19 | 5/8 |
Rumors of his demise were greatly exaggerated. Sure, some of the counting stats like rebounds and blocks have decreased, but Towns can still fill up the stat sheet on any given night. It’s early in the season and it’s going to take time for him and all the pieces to gel.
Stephen Curry
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 32 | 6 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4/14 | 1/24 | 8/9 |
To start the season, Curry has scored 33, 34, 33, 21, 33, 31 and 32 points. There’s a glitch in the Matrix. Like when Neo saw the black cat twice.
Jordan Poole
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 30 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 5/13 | 10/21 | 5/5 |
Klay Thompson got the night off so Poole started, played 36 minutes, and balled the F out. When everyone is healthy, Poole seems to be the one to take the brunt of it, but there will be plenty of days when either Curry or Thompson are out.
James Wiseman
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 6 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2/4 | 2/2 |
A wise man once told me that minutes are gold. Well, Wiseman has played 17, 16, 20, 18, 14, 5, and 13 minutes. He’s showed off his athleticism but is still not at the level of being an impact player. Many have intimated that he may never be one. I don’t know. Kerr did talk glowingly about him over the offseason, especially the mental side of the game. We shall see how things develop over the season.
Four of five starters for Detroit scored over 20 points as they defeated the Warriors, 128-114.
Isaiah Stewart
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 24 | 13 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2/5 | 6/10 | 10/11 |
The Beef Stew was chunky but wasn’t as wholesome as usual. Still, it tasted delicious. He ended up playing 33 minutes but that was because Jalen Duren only played 15 minutes due to injury. Prior to last night, Stewart played 30 minutes just one other time.
Cade Cunningham
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 1/3 | 9/20 | 4/4 |
Aaaaaaalmost messed around. Like how I aaaaaaaaalmost slid into the DM. Cunningham fell one assist shy of his third career trip-dub. That ain’t bad in 71 career games.
Tari Eason
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 9 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/1 | 4/4 | 0 |
In 12 minutes off the bench. SMH. It’s treason I tell ya! It should be Eason season.
Kevin Porter Jr.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 8 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/4 | 7/17 | 11/14 |
The efficiency is still an issue (shooting 41% from the field) but the usage rate is 27.5% after being 23.6% last season. He’s averaging 21.3 points on 17.4 field goal attempts and stealing 1.6 per game. It may be difficult to maintain those numbers, especially the steals, but the increase in shot attempts from 13.3 to 17.4 is a big deal, as well as the usage rate.
Bismack Biyombo
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 5 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1/1 | 3/5 |
Got the start with Deandre Ayton out and played 22 minutes. Bismack Biyombo Boards and Blocks.
Jock Landale
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 16 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0/1 | 6/9 | 4/4 |
The other part of the center rotation played 23 minutes. He is more offensive-minded than Biyombo so choose your weapon wisely.
Devin Booker
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 30 | 3 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1/7 | 14/24 | 1/3 |
He’s no Stephen Curry, but Booker has scored at least 30 points in four of six games to start the season. Booker has a 30% usage rate on the season and is shooting 52% from the field! Dayam. That’s pretty, pretty good.
Chris Paul
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 1 | 15 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/4 | 3/7 | 4/5 |
I prayed to the heavens and asked where is God? Then the clouds formed into the shape of a finger and pointed downward. Like how the three wise men followed the star towards the manger, I traversed the landscape until I was under the finger-shaped cloud.
I asked to be pointed to God! Oh well, lost in translation I guess. Paul is delivering those precious dimes along with the steals. Will God allow him into heaven with a career steal rate over 2.1 per game? Thou shall not steal. I guess it depends how big of a hoops fan God is. The scoring, though, has dimished big time. He’s averaging under 10 points and 10 field goal attempts for the first time in his 18-year career. He’s shooting 33% from the field and 29% from downtown. I’d imagine those improve but maybe Father Time is done waiting.
Kristaps Porzingis
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 13 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0/4 | 8/16 | 1/2 |
The Celtics defense has been much maligned in the early season, but they handled the Wizards pretty easily on Sunday, holding them to 94 points. Porzingis was the leading scorer in only 28 minutes of action. On a per-game basis, Porzingis is the 76th player currently. The usage rate is down to 25.4% after being 28.9% last season. The return of Bradley Beal will do that. The field-goal attempts, points, and blocks are down but those should pick up. As well as the free-throw shooting. It’s at 72% from now, after being 86% last season. Remember, it’s only been six games. He’ll be fine, until he dies. Not literally of course.
Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. They are good and carry the offensive load for the Celtics. Tatum scored 23 points while Brown delivered 24.
Malcolm Brogdon
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3/5 | 6/12 | 8/8 |
Brodgon hasn’t been great this season, failing to score 20 points in any game, with two games under 10, so it was good to see him produce on Sunday. He’s garnering a 25.4% usage rate on the season and is leading the second unit well. Once the Celtics figure out their defensive woes, they are going to be a very tough out for most teams.
Sam Hauser
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 9 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3/5 | 3/5 | 0 |
In 23 minutes off the bench. Is this a sign of things to come or an abberation? He played 3, 13, 7, 11, and 12 minutes in the first five games. We know he can shoot, as he was making it rain from downtown in the preseason. If this basketball thing doesn’t work, maybe he can ask his cousin Doogie for a job.
Zion WilliamSON
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 21 | 12 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 9/17 | 3/4 |
Looks like a buffalo. Jumps like a flea. Don’t get in his way or you’ll get called for a foul by one of the referees! We wanted more defensive stats and better free-throw shooting. Check and check. He’s at 1.8 steals in four games. The blocks are still light at 0.5. He should be closer to 1 but my momma always told me that potential don’t mean shit. The treys will never be there but the points, boards, and dimes are chef kiss.
Naji Marshall
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 17 | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 3/5 | 7/13 | 0 |
Naji has started the last three games and played 34, 35, and 39 minutes! He’s scored 15, 21, and 17 points and filling up the stat sheet with everything but blocks. Nobody better call the fire marshall because this heater doesn’t want to get extinguished. Unfortunately, he’s only in the lineup due to injuries.
The Clippers have lost four in a row after their 112-91 defeat to the Pelicans. Kawhi Leonard missed another game. He’s no longer a fun guy. Only three players scored in double figures. Norman Powell put up 18 points while Paul George contributed 14 points. No blurbs or stat boxes for them!!! Them shits need to be earned.
LAKERS WIN!!! THE LAKERS WIN!!! THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEERRS WIIIIIN!!!!!
The Lakers weren’t going 0-82 and they weren’t going to shoot 20% from downtown every game. On Sunday, they defeated the Denver Nuggets, 121-110. They shot 43% from downtown and held Denver to 42% from the field.
Anthony Davis
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 15 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 10/18 | 3/4 |
Top 10 player on a per-game basis. He fell in drafts due to health concerns but he had one of the highest upsides of the players being drafted at the turn. He’s averaging 2.2 steals and 2 blocks to go along with 23.8 points and 10.6 boards. Just stay healthy my sweet AD.
LeBron James
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 26 | 6 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2/5 | 10/22 | 4/5 |
Scrub. Didn’t triple-double.
Troy Brown Jr.
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 8 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0/3 | 4/8 | 0 |
Got the start and played 26 minutes. He has now started the last two games and played 32 minutes on Friday. Brown is a low-usage player who can provide some steals and boards. The shooting efficiency is poor, though. So this Brown may be more doo doo than someone who can deliver for fantasy.
Lonnie Walker IV
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 18 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3/5 | 6/14 | 3/4 |
Walker is as volatile as they come. He has two games with 5 and 6 points but has gone for 26, 15, 15, and 18 in the other four. He’s attempted double-digit shots in each of the last five games with one at 21. He doesn’t dish out dimes but has seven steals and six blocks on the season. He’s also played at least 30 minutes in four games. He’s young and super athletic; just inconsistent.
Russell Westbrook
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 18 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2/4 | 6/12 | 4/4 |
Played 32 minutes off the bench. He was a +18 and the Lakers notched their first win. It’s a better role for both himself and the team. He’s a terrible fit alongside AD and LeBron. On the second unit, he can garner the usage and do what he does.
Austin Reaves
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 10 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2/4 | 3/6 | 2/3 |
Hillbilly Kobe! The dude can play. The J is suspect but he can get buckets and his IQ at both ends of the floor is high. He played 28 minutes last night and received 27 in the prior two games. He’s probably not a fantasy option in standard leagues but keep an eye on his minutes and role, as he can stuff the stat sheet.
Nikola Jokic
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 23 | 14 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 1/5 | 8/16 | 6/7 |
He’s 8th in per-game value currently. The sky is falling! The sky is falling! The usage rate is only 23.3% and he’s averaging 12.4 shots per game. The return of Michael Porter Jr. and Jamal Murray have something to do with that but Jokic will ramp things up over time. I wouldn’t worry too much.
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope
| PTS | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TOV | 3PT | FG | FT |
| 9 | 5 | 5 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 3/4 | 3/8 | 0 |
Played 33 minutes. Was good to see after he sprained his ankle last week. KCP is the ultimate 3-and-D player and could have a career year as he will get plenty of good looks. In six games, he’s averaging 3.3 dimes. He hasn’t been over 1.9 since 2017.
Zeke Nnaji was a DNP last night, his second of the season. He’s played a total of 20 minutes on the season. Nnaji was getting talked up so much over the summer with some speculating that he could backup Jokic. This is why I have trust issues.
