It’s All Downhill From Here

We finally made it! The 72-day wait for the start of the 2020-21 NBA season was excruciating. I kid, I kid. The turnaround from the end of last season to this year was a blur. My head is still spinning like a top, which has been compounded by the fact that Rona has nuked any conception of time that I may have possessed previously. So we’ve been mental masturbating over our drafts and teams for a few months, but now that the season has officially begun and we get to see the players play and stats get displayed, there’s nowhere to go but down. We all had banners flying and trophies hoisted right? With that said, there’s only one team that gets the chip each season. I hope that each of you is fortunate to be a part of the one. The season is a long one so embrace the journey and be diligent in managing your teams. Here’s what I saw last night:

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Yo, Brooklyn looked mighty good last night, as they clobbered the Warriors 125-99. The Warriors did not come out to play. I usually front on teams that make major changes their first year, as it takes time to gel and figure out things. Sure, the Lakers accomplished the feat last season, but LeBron was in LA for two years and went through the growing pains. With that said, the Nets offense looked incredible and they have scorers galore. The defense was smothering, but the Warriors were putrid so I’m not putting too much stock in that. I think the Nets could blitz through the regular season, but let’s see what happens come playoff time. I’m still of the belief that they will need to progress the levels before getting to the mountain top, Game of Death style. We shall see. My final thought: IT WAS ONE GAME, DAMNIT!!!

Kevin Durant

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
22	5	3	3	1	1	1/2	7/16	7/7

Due to the blowout, Durant only played 25 minutes. He looked good, though. He was soaring for dunks in transition, shooting over hapless defenders on the perimeter, and hesi’ing his way to the paint. If he stays healthy and gets the minutes, KD could be the number one player in fantasy. He has 1/1/1 potential and provides excellent percentages. There’s really nothing he can’t do, and the environment in Brooklyn is going to be very fantasy-friendly. Here are his fantasy finishes over the seven years (excluding 2019): 8, 3, 1, 2, 5, 1, and 1. Yeah.

DeAndre Jordan

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
4	11	1	1	1	3	0	2/3	0/2

Got the start and played 17 minutes. This DJ got the party started right, as he delivered what he advertised on his brochures: boards and blocks. I hope you read the fine print at the bottom regarding the free throws.

Kyrie Irving

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
26	4	4	0	0	1	4/7	10/16	2/2

He’s incredible. The handle package is the best in the league and his J is silky smooth. What always impresses me most, though, is his finishing ability around the rim. Left hand. Right hand. Under hand. Off the backboard. Spin left. Spin right. He just needs to stay healthy.

Spencer Dinwiddie

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
9	5	4	0	0	3	1/3	2/6	4/4

Got the start at shooting guard and played 20 minutes. He had an all-around good offensive game, but the usage is obviously going to be an issue playing alongside Kyrie and KD. There will be no HD from Dinwiddie. Strictly SD, which gets the job done but won’t produce the high-quality goodness.

Jarrett Allen

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
8	7	2	1	2	2	0	2/3	4/5

Steve Kerr went to Jarrett!!! But for only 20 minutes off the bench. Sad face. He is so good that it’s a shame that DJ is still spinning the vinyl. And he won’t tank your free throw percentage either. Regardless, he should get run in the low-20s every game and get you those boards and blocks.

Caris LeVert

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
20	9	5	2	1	2	3/5	6/17	5/6

There was uncertainty about the role LeVert would play and if his production would fall off. Houston, we no longer have a problem. LeVert was his LeVert self, dribbling, driving, scoring, rebounding, stealing, blocking…..Someone get me a ventilator. The way the rotations played out for his first shift, both Kyrie and KD sat while he ran the second unit. And did it well.

Eric Paschall

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	1	0	0	1	0	1/1	2/6	1/2

Got the start for Draymond Green and played 22 minutes. Remember that show, Press Your Luck? The DFS community was yelling, no whammies, no whammies! Please, no whammies. Womp womp. Dud, as he sat for long stretches of the game. It was just one of those games. Paschall is too talented of a scorer to dud like this all the time.

Andrew Wiggins

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
13	2	1	0	1	4	2/6	4/16	3/4

For Wiggins, it was just one of the games….that we’ve come to expect every time out. Yo, WATCH OUT!!! Thanks for saving me from those bricks. The shot was off, he was traveling, he was….Let’s be real, he wasn’t doing much of anything good. The glass is half full perspective? He played 31 minutes, jacked up 16 shots, and got a block. The opportunities are going to be there all season, and that’s half the battle. Yo, Joe.

Kelly Oubre Jr.

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	7	2	1	2	3	0/6	3/14	0

Had a nasty putback dunk….

Dayam! And the defensive stats were there, but the shooting was Wiggins-esque. Is Wiggins so powerful that teammates get his powers of bricking through osmosis? I wouldn’t worry too much about the shooting, as it was just one of those games, and he shot 45% and 44% the past two seasons.

James Wiseman

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
19	6	0	2	0	1	1/1	7/13	4/8

Got the start and played 24 minutes. Gotta say, he looked pretty good. There were times when he was lumbering, but I saw him get out in transition, post up, and shoot from downtown. The future is now. A priest, rabbi, and a Wiseman entered a bar. The priest, being a generous fellow, offered to pay the tab. Dunk you very much, said the Wiseman.

Steph Curry

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
20	4	10	2	0	3	2/10	7/21	4/4

Played 30 minutes and was constantly doubled and harassed on the perimeter. If his teammates can’t hit shots to relieve pressure and space out the floor, there are going to be many nights like this. With that said, not having Draymond Green on the floor was big, at both ends of the floor. The Curry was not of the spicy variety last night.

Anthony Davis

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
18	7	2	0	0	4	0/2	8/15	2/2

More like BC, huh? Don’t fret, though. The Clippers did an excellent job of doubling him down in the post. IT’S ONE GAME!!!

LeBron James

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
22	5	5	0	0	4	3/8	7/17	5/7

The Lakers got their rings and came out extremely flat. LeBron will be fine. No need to drop him for the waiver wire du jour.

Marc Gasol

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
0	1	1	0	0	1	0	0	0

The binary code line made an early appearance!!! Beep. Boop. Bop. Gasol got the start but only played 12 minutes due to foul trouble.

Dennis Schroder

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
14	12	8	0	0	1	2/5	5/15	2/4

Dennis was certainly a menace, as he almost messed around and tied AD with 15 shot attempts in the game. The usage was a positive, as he navigated pick and roll action, ISO’d against bigger defenders, and knocked down spot-up opportunities. He is so freaking fast it’s crazy. The racing stripe on his head accentuates that fact.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
9	2	1	2	1	2	1/3	2/4	4/4

Got the start and played 23 minutes. A true 3-and-D player, KCP provides a little something something every game and can access ceiling when he’s knocking down tres. The bugaboo is that the Lakers are so deep that he may not a full allotment of minutes every game. He played 23 last night.

Montrezl Harrell

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
17	10	3	0	1	1	0	6/7	5/7

Montrezl was a nizzle in the hizzle fo shizzle. Revenge!!! He played a team-high 32 minutes and did what he do, which is score, grab boards, and get his hustle on. The block was a nice touch, but the three dimes were eye-opening. Now for the drizzle on the Montrezl partizzle. Gasol was in foul trouble and only played 12 minutes. I doubt Montrezl plays 32 minutes often.

Talen Horton-Tucker

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
6	1	0	1	0	1	0	2/2	2/2

The preseason darling only played 11 minutes off the bench. That was the logical conclusion entering the season, as the Lakers are so deep. Now, things could get interesting moving forward, as Wesley Matthews looked like shit, pardon my French. He got punked by Kawhi on defense, like literally got pushed aside like a rag doll, and couldn’t knock down a shot. THT is thicker and stronger, so it’s conceivable that THT could get more playing soon. We shall see how things play out, but something to keep an eye on. With that said, IT WAS ONE GAME!!!

Wes Matthews

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
0	0	0	1	0	0	0/2	0/2	0

Impressive. If you look closely, the stat line is giving you the finger.

Nicolas Batum

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
3	6	6	2	0	1	1/3	1/4	0

Got the start because Marcus Morris is dealing with a knee injury and played 28 minutes. Batum is a low usage player but can knock down the open jumper and play make a bit. He’s long so he’s an asset on defense, which could portend for real rotation minutes all season.

Kawhi Leonard

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
26	2	3	2	0	3	1/8	10/26	5/5

The Kawhi 2020 looked good with the new operating system. The guidance and tracking software needs some tweaking though.

Serge Ibaka

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
15	6	0	0	1	1	2/3	5/7	3/5

Got the start but only played 21 minutes. Weird because he’s such a good fit for this team. He plays good defense but is able to knock down the open J and space the floor for Kawhi and Paul George. Keep an eye on the minutes going forward.

Patrick Beverley

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
10	6	3	0	0	2	2/5	4/9	0

Got the start but only played 22 minutes. Beverley isn’t a true point guard, so the dimes will never be voluminous, but he will get steals and knock down open tres. Like with Ibaka, keep on eye on the rotations.

Ivica Zubac

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
11	6	1	1	1	1	0	4/5	3/4

Played 27 minutes off the bench. Now, this is what I was hoping for, as Zubac could beast with around 28 minutes per game. He can score, grab boards, and get his Mutombo on. With that said, I’m not sure this will be the regular allocation all season. Something to monitor for sure.

Luke Kennard

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
4	2	2	2	1	1	0/3	2/6	0

In 21 minutes off the bench. Kennard stuffed the stat sheet, but it’s all relative. Grabbing the Trader Joe’s basket and filling it up is nice and productive, but some guys are the Costco shopping carts. Just a different level. With that said, he wasn’t just a spot-up shooter and had the ball in his hands quite often. Let’s see how many minutes he settles into.

Paul George

PTS	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TOV	3PT	FG	FT
33	6	3	1	0	5	5/8	13/18	2/2

Holy shit balls! PG was X-rated last night, making all Clippers fans orgasm multiple times. The shot was silky and he was unstoppable in the second half. It’s only been two years since he finished as the number three player for fantasy on a per-game basis.