LOGIN

KRS-One was one of the greatest to ever do it. He never won a Grammy, and didn’t win a Tony, yet he smashed rappers and made girls go “Illllll!” He made you bob your head from side to side, and up and down, but ultimately he made you think about what was said, as Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everybody. At the core, though, he brought it to those MC’s that acted like they didn’t know that KRS was willing to go toe for toe and made them hope that their defense mechanism could divert his heat-seeking lyricism. Joel Embiid is the KRS-One of the NBA. He puts victims in a body bag both on the Twitter machine and on the court. Last night…

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 13 3 0 1 4 4/6 10/17 7/8

In only 27 minutes, as the 76ers body bagged the Timberpuppies, 149-107. On the season, Embiid is the #10 player, averaging 33.5 minutes, 27 points, 1.2 threeecolas, 13.3 boards, 3.4 dimes, 0.5 steals, and 2 blocks on 48% shooting from the field and 80% from the free throw line on 9.9 attempts. The usage rate is 32.1! Such a boss. As KRS said, “If you don’t know me by now, I doubt you’ll ever know me.” Embiid gonna keep trying, though.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

 

Ben Simmons

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 11 9 1 3 3 0 7/10 6/7

Aaaaaaaaalmost messed around. If only the Timberpuppies didn’t shrivel up and die. Over the past four games, he’s AVERAGING a trip-dub with 1.3 steals and 1 block. Yet, he’s only been a top 30 player because he still has not attempted a threeecola and he’s shooting 50% from the line on 5 attempts.

Wilson Chandler

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
14 5 4 0 1 1 4/6 5/7 0

He lives! The usage rate is around 11 and he’s averaging fewer than 10 points a game, but he’s contributing threeecolas, D stats, and a handful of boards and dimes. Over the past four games, he’s been a top 115 player. Learn something new everyday.

Jimmy Butler

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 3 4 2 1 2 3/4 8/10 0

REVENGE! Butler was right. The Timberpuppies are soft. Nancy, let’s go to footage of Embiid…

Even though Butler has settled in, for now, as the third wheel, he’s still a top 25 player for fantasy.

Jonah Bolden played 16 minutes and scored 14 points, while Landry Shamet played 23 minutes and scored 12 points. Blowout run.

Andrew Wiggins

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 4 0 2 1 1 0 4/14 4/6

All is right in the world. I was getting worried for a sec.

Karl-Anthony Towns

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
13 3 2 2 0 1 2/4 4/10 3/3

The heart of a….cat. Meow.

Derrick Rose

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
15 2 4 0 0 0 1/5 6/13 2/2

Returned from injury and played 22 minutes off the bench. Led the team in scoring.

Luol Deng

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 1 1 0 0 0 0/1 3/6 5/7

Played 15 minutes. Yup, that’s how bad it got for the Timberpuppies.

The Heat got spanked by the Bucks, 86-124. No blurbs for you!

Justise Winslow and Hassan Whiteside led the Heat in scoring with 19 points each. No one else scored in double figures. For my fellow weirdos out there, the seven bench players scored 9, 2, 7, 2, 7, 2, and 9 points. Palindrome!!!

Giannis Antetokounmpo

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 10 10 3 0 2 0 4/9 4/8

Played 25 minutes yet still messed around. Such a G!

Eric Bledsoe

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 5 4 2 1 0 2/8 7/15 1/2

Top 40 player for fantasy. He Bledsoe we could get production in every cat.

Paul George

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 8 3 5 0 3 5/12 6/18 7/7

Boy, I’m curious but is George really the #6 player for fantasy? Yup yup. 3.4 threeecolas and 2.3 steals per game!

Jerami Grant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 5 0 3 2 0 0/4 9/14 3/5

Played 40 minutes, which led the Thunder. Man, it’s been a slow and steady progression for Grant, but he was a top 225 player last year, is a top 75 player this season, and has been a top 50 player over the past seven games. Over the past three games, check out these averages: 38.2 minutes, 19.3 points, 1 threeecola, 7 boards, 1.3 dimes, 1 steal, and 2.3 blocks while shooting 56% from the field. The only blemish is the 69% from the free throw line on 4.3 attempts.

Russell Westbrook

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 6 11 5 0 2 0/3 10/21 11/14

Has been a top 10 player over the past three games, as he’s averaged 26.3 points, 9.7 boards, 14 dimes, and 3 steals with only 3 turnovers and 75% from the line on 8 attempts.

Dennis Schroder

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
21 3 6 1 0 2 3/5 6/15 6/6

REVENGE! First time scoring at least 20 points since December. He has gone back-to-back games with 6 assists, and he’s been a top 50 player over the past three games. He’s just being a menace to society.

John Collins

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 5 2 0 0 0 0 12/14 2/3

I demand to know who the scorekeeper was at last night’s game, because he or she obviously missed 5 rebounds. Man, Collins has such a nice offensive game, but he needs to contribute more on D.

DeAndre’ Bembry

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 8 6 2 0 2 2/3 7/9 0

Played 34 minutes, but Taurean Prince played 13 minutes in his return from injury, so Bembry will likely shift back down to a reserve role.

Trae Young

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 6 11 0 0 7 4/9 8/17 4/5

Young is fourth in turnover rate at 4 per game, so he needs to clean that up, but the rest of his game is progressing nicely. Over the past four games, he’s been a top 100 player. 5.5 boards to go along with 2.5 threeecolas, 6.8 dimes, and 1 steal.

Kevin Huerter

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 3 4 0 0 3 5/8 6/10 0

Played 37 minutes. If I were you guys, I’d tell me, “Enough already! We get it!”

Alex Len

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
24 11 3 1 2 0 1/4 9/14 5/6

Omari Spellman got the start at center because Dewayne Dedmon was out (ankle) and played 22 minutes, but it was Len who sucked up most of the action (31 minutes). Don’t get gassed, as Dedmon will likely return soon. This is what Len does. He’ll have a big game every 7 games or so. Coincidentally, his last big game consisted of a 24 and 11 line.

Geez, so many blowouts last night as the Suns get pummelled, 97-131 in Indiana.

T. J. Warren

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 3 1 1 0 1 1/2 7/15 3/3

Led the Suns in scoring. Unfortunately, the teammates didn’t mount up, as the Suns got regulated.

Devin Booker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 5 5 0 0 4 0/4 4/12 0

Returned from injury and played 27 minutes. Should’ve stayed injured. I kid. He’s returning from a back injury, so maybe it’s still bothering him. Something to keep an eye on.

Kelly Oubre. Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 5 2 1 1 0 1/5 7/13 1/6

Learn how to shoot free throws!!! A professional ball player should not be shooting 50% from the line. Crazy. Anyways, Oubre has been contributing across the board, which is nice, except for the shitty free throw shooting.

Thaddeus Young

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 7 4 1 1 2 0 5/7 2/2

The heater continues, except from the free throw line. Seriously, Kelly and Thad, what’s the deal? Young has been shooting 64% from the field over the past six games, so expect regression to come, but he’s going to keep grabbing boards and getting his 211 on. Top 90 player on the season and has been top 30 over the past six games.

Bojan Bogdanovic

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 5 3 0 0 0 3/5 7/12 3/4

Led the Pacers in scoring. The classic, high-floor low ceiling player.

Myles Turner

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 6 1 2 2 0 1/4 7/11 3/5

Returned from injury and played 28 minutes.

Tyreke Evans

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 4 0 1 0 1 1/1 6/8 7/8

In 15 minutes! He lives! I’m not falling for the banana in the tailpipe, though.

Another blowout as the Warriors neutered the Nuggets, 142-111 in Denver. What was up with last night?

Draymond Green

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
4 6 13 1 0 1 1/2 1/5 1/2

Such a unique player, as he will often dub-dub without scoring. I want to say that the Warriors will need him to convert open shots in the playoffs but….he was a +41 last night while shooting 1-for-5 from the field. I’ll STFU now.

Kevin Durant

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
27 4 6 1 1 1 5/7 11/15 0

I’m onto you Durant. You are the real robot. No human can produce that level of consistency night in and night out.

Kevin Looney

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 12 4 0 1 1 0 3/6 3/4

Played 24 minutes. Top 50 player over the past six games, as Looney has averaged 7.5 boards, 2.7 dimes, 1 steal, and 1.2 blocks with 61% from the field.

Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson both scored 31 points. Splash Brothers!

Malik Beasley

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
22 1 0 0 0 0 6/10 8/14 0

Got the start for Gary Harris and played 33 points. Led the Nuggets in scoring.

Will Barton

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 8 4 0 1 2 3/6 3/11 2/2

Played 23 minutes in his third game back from injury. He had played 14 and 16 minutes the prior two games. Should only be a matter of time before he gets ramped up to full speed.

Wendell Carter Jr.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
6 10 2 1 1 3 0/1 3/9 0

It’s only year one of the Carter Administration. We’ve seen some promising things so far. Stay strong.

Chandler Hutchison

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
12 5 0 2 0 0 0/1 5/9 2/2

My HutchiSON!!! Kidding. The rookie has started the last six games, but hasn’t done much outside of grabbing some boards. Chandler needs to start providing more if he wants more friends.

Zach LaVine

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 4 8 0 0 3 1/4 4/11 1/2

Top 60-ish player. Usage rate is above 30 and he jacks up around 17 shots per game. The contributions in the peripheral categories aren’t great, but he does provide a little something something in each. If he can dish out the dimes like last night, then that would be lovely for his fantasy prospects. Sharing is caring.

Jabari Parker

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
18 3 2 2 0 0 2/4 7/10 2/4

In 17 minutes off the bench. The usage rate is high when he plays (around 25). The problem is the playing time, as he’s averaging fewer than 20 minutes a game. Tough to rely on hyper-efficiency every game.

Shaquille Harrison

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
10 3 0 1 1 0 1/4 3/10 3/7

My HarriSON!!! Sorry, I can’t help myself. Played 25 minutes, but had received 14, 18, and 15 the prior three games.

Kyle Kuzma

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 12 2 0 0 5 1/6 6/15 3/4

Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz. The usage rate is high without LeBron on the floor, like 30 high. The shooting efficiency, though, has been bad, like 40% bad. Kuz will contribute threeecolas and boards, but few dimes and D stats.

Brandon Ingram

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
16 9 7 1 0 3 0/2 7/13 2/4

Played a team-high 40 minutes. Points, boards, some dimes, and poor free throw shooting with little else. Bad combination.

Tyson Chandler 

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
8 3 2 0 1 0 0 3/3 2/4

Got the start and played 26 minutes.

JaVale McGee

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
9 4 1 0 3 0 0 3/10 3/4

Played 14 minutes off the bench.

Who knows what Walton will do?

Lonzo Ball

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 8 6 2 0 3 3/7 8/17 0

Top 65 player over the past four games. The shooting percentages are always going to be an issue, but he does have the ability to contribute across the board. He just doesn’t bring it on a consistent basis.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
17 4 1 2 0 1 1/6 4/11 8/10

Got the start for Josh Hart and played 31 minutes. I did see LeBron whispering the ears of Pelinka, Magic, and Walton on the sideline. And KCP does have the same agent. Things that make you go hmmm.