A commissioner is a powerful person. They are elected to oversee or regulate an entire entity. I’ve always fronted on them, though. As a little kid, I always thought Commissioner Gordon from the Batman comics was a little b@#ch. Always running to the rooftop to send the Bat Signal when a problem arose in Gotham City. I always likened it to a little kid running home and screaming, “Moommmmmmy….” Then, my metabolism started to slow down, I began to grow sideways instead of vertically, and my mind no longer viewed the world through pure lenses. Roger Goodell showed that a commissioner is often just an employee. A puppet so to speak. But last night, the NBA’s Commissioner Gordon (Aaron Gordon) brought everything together for me. A commissioner is not a b@#ch. Jim Gordon may have summoned the Batman via searchlight, but he did deputize the Batman making him the b@#ch. A commissioner is not a puppet. Roger Goodell proved that when he pulled a Brutus and stabbed Robert Kraft in the back and went after the NFL’s Golden Boy. A commissioner is a boss and Aaron Gordon proved that as he scored 41 points, grabbed 14 boards, and dished out two dimes on 14-for-18 shooting (5-for-5 from three-land). He’s such a boss that he doesn’t need a searchlight to transpose his symbol in the air. He just jumps.
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Here’s what else I saw last night:
Yes
— IsAnthonyDavisHurt (@ISBROWHURTYET) October 25, 2017
Anthony Davis bumped knees with another player five minutes into the game. It’s kind of sad that I needed to specify that it happened with another player. Like, would it have shocked anyone if he injured himself by bumping his left knee into his right knee? He did not return to the game.
Jimmy Butler did not play due to an upper respiratory infection. Sorry if you had him in DFS, as the news came post-lock. Is there a lower respiratory infection?
Domantas Sabonis played 25 minutes and scored 15 points, grabbed 11 boards, and dished out five dimes on 7-for-7 shooting. Either KAT is still an awful defender or Arvidas and Domantas did some Big shit. I think I’m going with the KAT is still an awful defender, although can never dismiss the possibility of body swapping. I mean, how many movies have been made on that concept?
Darren Collison scored 15 points, grabbed five boards, dished out 16 dimes, and pilfered two. That’s usually the line you’ll see from the point guard of a team that scored 130 points. I guess everyone on the Timberwolves had upper respiratory infection.
Victor Oladipo scored 28 points, grabbed three boards, dished out three dimes, and pilfered two. Stocktonator loved him so much this game that he wanted all of you to enjoy this:
Now, the Stocktonator is not so giddy with his matchup tomorrow night against the Thunder.
C’mon Timberwolves! I have to write up Bojan Bogdanovic and Corey Joseph? Bogdanovic scored 19 points, grabbed five boards, and dished out a dime, while Joseph scored 21 points, grabbed five boards, dished out two dimes, and pilfered three. BB played 31 minutes while CJ played 29 minutes. I wouldn’t get too giddy about the performances because there were extended moments of garbage time. With that said, they both do get minutes in the 20s and put up around eight shots per game.
I’m not going to even bother going through the Timberwolves stats. Garbage time and upper respiratory infection. They do travel to Detroit tomorrow, so….
Kristaps Porzingis is human after all. 12 points and five boards on 3-for-14 shooting. Beep boop bop. The Stocktonator just informed me that Porzingis will return to God status on Friday. Why Stocktonator why? Since it cannot whisper sweetly into my ear, the Stocktonator answers me with music….
Enes Kanter played 30 minutes!!! Holy shit balls. Kanter ended the night with 16 points, 19 boards, and one block. Kyle O’Quinn played six minutes, while Willy Hernangomez actually got some run with 11 minutes. You know what watching the center position for the Knicks reminds me of? It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a stadium or ball park, but they used to always have these races on the video board. Remember those? There’d be three cars or whatever and they’d race around the stadium. it was a way to keep fans engaged during breaks. Well, Marketing took that idea and ran with it.
This is how bad the Celtics beat down the Knicks. Daniel Theis played 21 minutes and scored 11 points. Who’s Daniel Theis? I don’t know. Reggie Theus’ son?
Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum continue to ball the F out. 23 points, four boards, one steal, and one block for Brown. 22 points, four boards, two dimes, four steals, and two blocks for Tatum. These guys are so good that my mind is just wandering to superflous things. Like, which sounds better? Brown & Tatum or Tatum & Brown? Sounds like a good title for a new TNT show, right? Or how about this? Let’s just get rid of their first names. Think about it. Jaylen and Jayson. Jay. Jay. J. J. J-J = zero.
Terry Rozier played 31 minutes and scored eight points, grabbed six boards, dished out six dimes, and pilfered two. Marcus Smart did not play again, so that probably contributed to the high minute total. That and the Knicks completely sucking. Anyways, when Smart returns, Rozier should still get plenty of run.
Blake from Glengarry Glen Ross would not approve of this version of Kyrie Irving. Instead of closing, Kyrie is like a mother cheetah. Chilling on the sidelines, watching her cubs learn how to hunt. That’s how it’s going to be most of the season. Kyrie is going to mostly chill until that time he’s needed to bring down the juicy gazelle. With that said, he still scored 20 points, grabbed three boards, dished out seven dimes, and pilfered one.
If you rostered any Cavs last night in DFS, you were happy that the Bulls made them work. Lauri Markkanen scored 19 points, grabbed eight boards, and blocked one on 7-for-12 shooting (5-for-8 from downtown). He’s going to be good. As I’ve mentioned in prior posts, he’s not your typical Euro. He played college ball in the States and balled the F out at EuroBasket. His mental toughness has really stood out to me. And his shooting of course. Jerian Grant scored 12 points, grabbed six boards, dished out 10 dimes, and pilfered one. Why would they go back to Kris Dunn?
Justin Holiday scored 25 points, grabbed four boards, dished out one dime, pilfered one, and blocked one. It was only a matter of time, as he consistently gets minutes in the mid-30s and puts up 17 shots per game. Even a blind man will find the clit if given enough chances. With that said, the Stocktonator was all over Holiday for this game. Well, well, well. What do you know? Stocktonator also likes him for Thursday’s game against the Hawks.
If you were still holding out hope that Dwayne Wade would be a thing, you can stop now. He’s played 19 and 16 minutes the past two games and the 11 points he scored last night was a season-high. I think he’s sandbagging personally, so that he can get some sympathy from Gabrielle Union. “C’mon honey, I had a really bad game again. Lick my booty.”
The Nets are going to be so annoying for fantasy purposes. Once again, 10 players received at least 15 minutes of run, with only D’Angelo Russell getting to the 30 minute mark. At least we know that this is D’Angelo’s team: 29 points, five boards, one dime, and two steals. Demarre Carroll (17 points, six boards, two dimes, one steal, and one block) and Rondae Hollis-Jefferson (18 points, five boards, two dimes, one steal, and one block) both stuffed the stat sheet. Caris LeVert also played well with 15 points, eight boards, and five dimes. Why is Timofey Mozgov playing 17 minutes? Mikahail Prokhorov is either a huge fan or Mozgov has pictures. Jarrett Allen had a +\- of -14 and he only played 15 minutes. He’s someone to keep an eye on if he starts getting over 20 minutes a game, though.
Evan Fournier could be the founder of Evian for all I know. It’d actually make a lot of sense because he’s been splashing pure jumpers from outside. 28 points, six boards, four dimes, and three steals.
Yes
— IsAnthonyDavisHurt (@ISBROWHURTYET) October 25, 2017
Jusuf Nurkic continues to struggle: 12 points, seven boards, and one steal in only 20 minutes. Caleb Swanigan played 16 minutes, while Ed Davis got 21 minutes of run. That’s a little concerning, so keep an eye on that situation going forward. With that said, I’m a Nurkic believer and think he’ll come around. It’s crazy to think that sometimes I believe in random people more than I believe in myself.
Evan Turner continues to get significant minutes. 20, 33, 32, and 25 to start the season. He’s not sexy but he’s scored in double-digits every game and will contribute across the board.
With Rodney Hood out…shocker….Donovan Mitchell filled in and led the team in points (19) and field goal attempts (20). I think the kids call that a Kobe, when the points scored is similar to the number of shot attempts. Anyways, he was the highlight of the night for the Jazz in an 18-point thumping from the Clippers.
Is this the year for the Clippers? How insane would that be? It would just solidify in my mind the GOAT status of Jerry West. Many were praising the acquisition of Patrick Beverley in the offseason. I admit, I was skeptical of the move. Now, I’m all-in. He can score (19 points), rebound (four), assist (five), and play good defense (three steals and one block). He brings a toughness and swagger to this squad that needs that kind of leadership. A perfect complement to Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan. It ain’t about making commercials for Beverley. It’s about winning. With Milos Teodosic out indefinitely, Beverley is going to get more run. He played 42 minutes!!!
