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All hail Trey Burke!  May all the inhabitants of the great Salt Lake City and all their respective wives rejoice!  And… the Jazz are still atrocious.  Poor Tyrone Corbin.  He’s got to fiddle with Burke, Alec Burks, John Lucas III and now Diante Garrett at the point.  Jerry Sloan got John Stockton.  Then Deron Williams.  It just ain’t fair!  In yet another Jazz loss moving them down to 1-12, Burke got 12 minutes even, going 11/1/1 with a steal and hitting a trey shooting 5-8.  Trey with the trey!  If only Deuce McAllister was an NBA player.   Deuce with the deuce!  Or if McAllister was a dunker, “Deuce with the upper decker!”  I had the unfortunate pleasure of doing highlights for my second Jazz game now, but it was cool to see Burke’s debut and I thought he looked pretty good.  His first NBA points were off a long rebound then coast-to-coast for a controlled, attacking floater.  Obviously he’s getting eased in and he’ll get more minutes – hippity-skippity to a few months back and I was bigger on Burke than anyone – but I’m not ready to go nuts and drop quality guys for him.  Of course it’s a case-by-case scenario, but I really wanted Burke to get tons of preseason work; instead he broke his finger and missed some really crucial development time.  For example, I think I’m still holding Patrick Beverley over him.  PBev is the Razzball “why can’t I quit you?!” fantasy asset.  Lucas III is obviously not a long-term solution, and while he’s in the mix, he didn’t look good last night but was the only guy that could hit any long balls.  Alec Burks looked awful, sure his line 8/1/1/1/2 is fine, shot 3-6 – fine – but racked up 4 TOs in 16 minutes.  Just looked bad.  Which brings me to Diante G, who I thought looked really good.  Garrett actually led the Jazz in PG minutes with 20, and racked up a 4/1/6 line with three steals and only 2 TOs (one late one was pretty bad, but the game was over) and played down the stretch.  Garrett was the only point who could create opportunities.  So it’s a little crowded with Burks’ potential wilting away and Garrett looking decent as a D-League gamble and could get run through the season.  I think Lucas III gets cut at some point and Burks plays strictly backup 2 minutes, but that’s just me.  It’s a mess.  Shocker, considering it’s the Jazz!  Here’s what else I saw last night:

Gordon Hayward – One of the all-time worst shooting nights in NBA history going 1-17.  At one point, the Pelicans play-by-play guys said Hayward stared at them going back on D after they were clowning his shot.  It woulda been worse if it was me!  “Hayward looks like a little Josh McRoberts out there!”  “It’s like watching Andre Drummond try to shoot a free throw!”  But in all seriousness, his shot looked awful and it probably was a fluke night since his shot looks fine most of the time.  Plus you love the dimebag he handed out going 6/6/11/1/2.

Anthony Davis He looks like a lanky 17-year-old playing against 12-year-olds.  I mean, he’s faster, can dribble, is blocking everyone… 22/9/4/0/8… It’s just unfair.  Right now, he might be the 4th pick next year after Chris Paul.

Enes Kanter – Despite being under-sized and not nearly the raw athletic-ness of the Brow, looked pretty good against him in some 1-on-1s under the hoop.  19/9 with a block and went 8-13.   Worth a look to see if panicky owners in very shallow leagues cut him or a buy low.

Jeremy Evans – Returned from a shoulder injury going 4-4 8/1/1/1/1 in 13 minutes in his 2013-14 debut.  His shot looked surprisingly good and he can play a big 3 or decent sized 4.  Richard Jefferson played over 41 minutes last night.  Yeah, Evans is going to get a little run for deep-leaguers.

Ryan Anderson – Staying hot.  6-9 (4-6 3PTM 3-3 FT) for 19/5 and a block. He back.

Nene – If you’re in a league where no one owns Nene, that’d be cray cray!  I’ve been telling people his resurgence is real and he’s a must-own while healthy.  A huge 24/8/6/1/1 night.

Martell Webster – While he’s no Nene, I’ve also been saying Webster is a must-own while Trevor Ariza is hurt.  Another very solid 15/4/5/1 line shooting 5-11 with a pair of treys.

Bradley Beal – He’s pretty awesome.  26/7/8.  These Wizards are pumping out fantasy goodness left and right.  The Hibachi is closed, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet!

Cleveland 2/3s – Well, C.J. Miles got the start but hurt his calf after only two-and-a-half minutes, which gave Dion Waiters 30 minutes after all his drama, and he shot like Gordon Hayward going 2-13.  The shocker is Matthew Dellavedova‘s 27 minutes, coming off the heels of a 31-minute run last Saturday.  He doesn’t really do much, but hit three threes last night.  Deep league ThrAGNOF if no Miles for a bit.

Paul George – Played like a superstar (given), racked up an elite line (usually given).  35/5/4/5/2 in a gorgeous rainbow line.  Sorry Knicks!  My stream for the cash almost took a bad turn in this game, but up to 5!

George Hill – There’s been a lot of Hill questions the past few weeks, and he finally delivered a big game going 23/8/3.  Only shot 7-18, but hit 4 treys.  He’s another guy that a few panicky owners in shallow leagues may have given up on.

Lance Stephenson – Another bad shooting night, but 9/9/5 with a block.  Keep giving Lance a chance!

Beno Udrih – Whoa nelly!  Made the most of his second start, going 19/8/4 with three threes.  I actually ranked Udrih!  Looked silly until now, but I thought he was a good fit for that offense if ever gotten a chance.  He’s 1/2 in those opportunities, so worth keeping an eye on while Raymond Felton deals with this hip injury.  I’m trying to punt Asts in REL and can’t move Felton for literally anyone.  If you’re an REL player and have a C eligible guy, I’ll give away Felton.  If this Rajon Rondo rumor becomes true and Felton is shipped off, Udrih would have some solid value until Rondo is ready.  But I still think that deal is doubtful.

Andrea Bargnani – Cold night for Il Diva.  4-16, but still 10/8 with a block and a three.  Still think you ride him out while starting.

Dwyane Wade – Sat again.  Yikes.  Wade owners must be more frustrated than Mario Chalmers owners who keep getting told he’s terrible!  The MC had another solid line of 9/3/8 with two steals.  I’m still not a buyer, too much inflation with Wade sitting out so much.  And since Wade is more-or-less fine just being controlled, not gonna buy it still.

Victor Oladipo – Welcome to the starters!  And what does he do?  Rainbow line in his first NBA start!  Screw that the Magic got blown out!  20/4/2/5/2 but completed it with a 8 TO night.  Instead of a cherry on top, it was a cherry bomb on top.  But he led the Magic in minutes at 36 and showed us his huge potential.

Arron Afflalo – Hit seven more threes.  Brings his scoring up to 22.5 a game.  Arron Afflalo.  22.5 points a game.  What the hell.

Luminescent Lithuanian – This is getting really, really bad.  And not making too much sense, he was playing with the ball hog brigade of Kyle Lowry, DeMar DeRozan and Rudy Gay last year!  Only 22 minutes 4/4/2/1/1.  At least he chipped in where he could.

Spencer Hawes – 37 minutes of 28/10/3.  Easier to hit shots when Valanciunas isn’t on the court!

Daniel Orton – Got the start with Thaddeus Young out for personal reasons.  In case you were wondering if there was a glitch looking at the Sixers starting line-up…

Michael Carter-Williams – Returned to action, and played like the MCW we expected heading into the year.  2-10 10/6/6 with 6 TOs.  Did block two though, which was nice.

Tony Wroten – Even with the MCW return, played 28 minutes and had some run with MCW.  Shot poorly at 3-11 and only had 9/2/4, but I think he can be useful in deeper leagues.

Evan Turner – Continues to show he can be multi-cat even when he’s cold.  4-13, but 13/10/5/3 slash.  Still kinda can’t believe he’s doing this…

Kemba Walker – Found his stroke!  It took a while, but after 7 straight brutal shooting nights went 12-20 31/5/2/1/1.  Who the hell did Kemba block?  Hit four threes and back on pace.

Josh McRoberts – It’s like he’s trying to shoot with Kitten Mittens on!  2-6, but 6/7/5/1/2 near rainbow line.

Al Jefferson – Another game out.  I think now is the optimal time to buy low.  I’m going to take a break from the article and offer up some scrubby proposals…

J Smoove – Making rainbow lines a theme!  Unfortunately it wasn’t nearly as good as his double-rainbow last Friday, but 11/6/2/3/2 against his former team.

Andre Drummond – I’m turning the corner a tiny bit.  10/12/0/4/1.  What the hell was Al Horford doing with the ball?! “Here, take it Dre!”  At least Drummond never got fouled…

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – My rookie lovefests sure couldn’t hit anything last night.  More on that later.  1-9 4/4/1 in another rough start in 23 minutes.  At least he’s not turning the ball over, he’s only had one TO since the Pistons first game, in about 120 minutes.  Kinda wild for a rookie, sure he’s not really diming either, but I’m looking for silver linings here!

DeMarre Carroll – Rainbow it up!  This was a huge game from the NBA’s Run-DMC, going 11/12/3/2/2.  Led the Hawks in minutes.  And this was a game after Mike Scott led them in minutes.  Wonky rotations, but it workin’!

Kyle Korver – His production is going down, but he’s turning into something besides the ThrAGNOF poster boy… 8/5/2/2/1 in a near rainbow, hitting two 3s.  Played over 32 minutes, but a little worried of the Lou Williams factor creeping back in.

Caron Butler – Returned to the Bucks last night, and it didn’t matter as they lost their sixth straight.  9/7/1 in 29 minutes.  Still too boring.

Ekpe Udoh – Talk about boring!  Started at the 4, and in 20 minutes went 0-1.  No other stats except 2 TOs and 3 fouls.  How is that even possible?!  As KG would reiterate – “Anything is possible!”

John Henson – So many rainbows last night!  Lots of fantasy goodness going around.  10/7/2/2/2 in 26 bench minutes.

Ersan Ilyasova – Returned from his kankle.  “I don’t has Kankles!”  Shut up, Ersan… Almost put together a rainbow himself, going 5/5/4/2/1 shooting a poor 2-8.  Worth being sure he’s owned, and I would start looking at formulating some buy-low offers if he gets through the next Bucks game healthy.

Kevin Love – Minneapolis newspaper headlines – “LOVE IS COLD!”  No, I think that’s just called upper Midwest Winter.  It’s effing cold here in NC!  Love was spraying his shots around like vomit from The Exorcist, going a mere 2-14.  Shooting like Gordon Hayward!  Haha, just too fun…  Still a fantastic trip-dub flirt 10/12/8.

Kevin Martin – Got 10 rebounds?! Whaaaaa????  28/10/4.  K-Mart is open for business.  I had him buried way too deep heading into the year.  Adelman to the rescue!

Kawhi Leonard – Welcome back Kawhi!  16/8/2/5/1 hitting a three.  Near rainbow, and near to my heart!  I love Kawhi.  One of my favorite NBA players.  Got 32 minutes which led the team.  First time he’s topped 30 in the past 5 – Popp, don’t let the Kawhi stop!

Jared Sullinger – Had a double-double in the first half.  What the hey?!  Is really coming on lately.  19/17 in 32 minutes with no other stats.  He’s like Z-Bo back in the day!  Or sorta Z-Bo now… I don’t trust anything on a Brad Stevens team right now.

Jeff Green After getting yanked around, got his 39 minutes for 19/5/3 and a block.  Not great, but better.  I’m still a little scared as a Green owner in two leagues.

Vitor Faverani – Played 2:04.  He could start and play 30 minutes the next Celtics game.  I loved to cheer for Butler in the tournies, but I hate you Stevens… I hate you…

Archie Goodwin – After yesterday’s article, couldn’t hit anything going 0-8.  Still brought some energy with a 1/3/2/1 line in 18 minutes, but not boding well for more run!

Markieff Morris – As Les Grossman would say, “Markieff is a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That’s physics. It’s inevitable.”

Gerald Green – Just couldn’t miss.  I mean, this is getting unreal for a guy who shot 36% from the field last year who is at 50% this year.  8-13 (6-8 3PTM) 23/2 with no other stats.  Now that’s a ThrAGNOF line!  Eric Bledsoe had to miss this one, so if Green can’t hit the deep balls when Bledsoe is back, he’ll have virtually no value.

Goran Dragic – Flashed what he could’ve been doing all year.  Flashed it like a Sharon Stone upskirt.  31/2/5/1 shooting 10-20 and hitting three treys.  Just has to stay healthy!  And avoid a trade…  The Suns just dropped two straight to the Kings.  Ouch.  Dragic on the block!

Marcus Thornton – Another DNP-CD.  Jimmer Fredette got 18 minutes.  Yeah, it’s bad.  The Kings are shopping the Bayou Bomber harder than the Suns should be shopping Green…

Monta Ellis – 37/2/8.  Shot 13-18.  As in, one more shot than Gordon Hayward.  Hahahahaha.

Jose Calderon – The Ast upside is falling apart.  In a game where Monta had 37 and Dirk Nowitzki put up 35, Calderon had only 3 assists.  And the icing on the cake is both Ellis and Dirk had more assists!  He’s only at 5.4 a game this year.  I’m surprised there hasn’t been more questions on him, but he’s falling down towards bottom end of rosters right now.

Shane Larkin – Dude, he’s looking realllllly good.  Gal Mekel got a DNP-CD, and Larkin went 17 minutes for 8/4/2/2/0.  Calderon I think is locked in as a starter, but this is Larkin’s show as the #2, and if Calderon got hurt, whewwwww-eeee!  Upside.

Dwight Howard – Tried to show up Mark Cuban for calling him out saying Dwight went to the wrong team, going 33/11.  And actually hit his freebies!  9-13.  Too bad the Rox still lost…

Patrick Beverley – A whopping 37 minutes to Jeremy Lin‘s 17.   9/2/3 with three threes and 4 steals.  Pretty useful line if you ask me!  Why he’s our “Can’t quit you!” player.

Terrence Jones – Pulled a Rudy Gay on us… Well, maybe not like that… Hit 8-13 for 18 solid points, but only 2 boards and 2 assists.  Did chip in a 3.  I’m not trying to throw cold water on him, it was still a good night.  I’m just bitter Omri Casspi can go 5-5 and only get 16 minutes!  #FreeCasspi!

Marc Gasol – Another big game, going 18/11/4/1/4 in a near rainbow.  All coming together!

Andre Iguodala – Started at the point with Stephen Curry out with a mild concussion.  Hopefully Steph is back soon, but Iggy was kinda awesome other than his FG%, going 7/4/14/2.  What a dimebag!

Andrew Bogut – Whoa, what happened to the 20ish minutes a night?  Went for over 43 minutes and racked up 12/14/2/0/2.  Shot 6-8.  With no Jermaine O’Neal and Bogut saying he’s 100% coming into the year, I’m buying some big runs coming.  As in, just ate Indian food big runs.

 

Next Games:  I’ve got TNT Overtime for Clippers @ Thunder then normal highlights for Bulls @ Nuggets.  So I’ll be watching every second of NBA action tonight!  Pumped to see a hopeful Wilson Chandler breakout, and all the other stars in these games deliver big lines.  Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out TNT OT later tonight to see some of the work I do!