And we’re back baby! The All-Star break in Nawleans has come and gone, with a disappointing dunk contest, no bounce passes in the skills contest (yeah, what was up with that Prez?!) and All-Star jerseys that made the finale look like an adult rec league game on a Thursday night. “Help, I think Stanley has a hernia!” I was constantly thinking to myself about the Major League quote, but the opposite. Brian Scalabrine or Matt Bonner coming into their first practice with sleeves and a hat on, and their coaches were like, “We don’t wear caps and sleeves at this level son!” Sure made that coach look stupid on Sunday night! And if you’re a Cleveland fan, you’ve got to be thinking, “Crikey wtf is going on!?” after seeing Kyrie Irving and Dion Waiters go off in their respective ASB games over the weekend. Then to see neither of them do anything against the 76ers last night! To be fair, the Cavs let their scrubs do all their damage in a blowout. So I guess if Cavs are thinking crikey, Philly fans are thinking, “if we don’t win 20 games this year, I’m giving up cheesesteaks!” Drastic? Probably. Be liking asking me to give up that delicious BBQ. Now I’m all sorts of hungry… How did this get into food? Let’s just dive right in to last night’s return to action, like how you’d dive into an all-you-can-eat Southern food buffet with mac & cheese, hush puppies, chopped BBQ, whole BBQ, biscuits & gravy, and then, and then…:
Tyler Zeller – One of the aforementioned scrubs. 18/15 with a block. Dude is a beat! Except not. And I’m a Chapel Hill fan! No Anderson Varejao as he’s still out with a bad back and a bad haircut, but big Sideshow will be on the court soon, so no need to stash Zeller.
Tristan Thompson – Not one of those scrubs! Hah! Tricked you Slim. 12/10/3/2/0 and a perfect 4-4 FT performance. Dub-dubs in 3 straight with 2 steals in 3 of 5. I still maintain he’s a bottom-feeder guy – yet ownable – in 12-team. I mean, errr, spend all you have to get him!
Anthony Bennett – Back to the scrubs! I made a scrub sandwich there. “Dammit with the food references this morning JB, I didn’t eat breakfast!” Commenter be hangry! 10/11/2/0/0. Just doesn’t do it for me, Bennett never did, looking all the way back at my draft reaction.
Michael Carter-Williams – I’m kinda out on a limb here, but a 1:7 Ast:TO ratio is actually not that good. 15/3/1, no other stats, and after rainbowing heading into the break, this is like an oppo-rainbow. A, ummm, a moment when you tell your kids that Santa isn’t real. So, like, a rainbow makes kids happy and ruining Santa crushes their hopes and dreams. Wow, JB, that’s a stretch… Just like MCW, I’m coming out of the gate rusty!
LaMarcus Aldridge – Yikes. Would’ve been the lead, but I wanted to start on lighter notes. Will be re-examined in a week with a lingering groin issue. That’s no fun on any level. So that’s at least a week sitting out for L.A. I’m probably not selling anywhere, but if you’re 5th or 6th in a 6-team playoff and could miss Aldridge for over a week if the re-evaluation doesn’t go well, it might be prudent to see if you could get 90-95% of pre-bad-groin value.
Shelvin Mack – Can’t stop the Mack Attack! 11/6/8 in 26 bench minutes. Jeff Teague for 8/2/2 and 4 TOs. Dude, I have no idea what the hell is going on there, loved Teague coming into the year, he started well, then swan dive. A good metaphor for his season would be going to work in Atlanta on that snow day thinking it was going to be a nice day, then abandoning your car and having to make yellow and brown snow on the side of the road at night. Mack only has this one nice one in the past 4, all of which Teague has been bad, so not too much for fantasy except hold out hope that Teague gets it together.
George Hill – 9/7, shot 4/4, hit a three, and comes out of the ASB staying solid after a nice run of 4 pre-ASB.
Patrick Patterson – Even with Amir Johnson back, Pit Pat started and got 34 minutes for 10/6/1/3/1 and a trey. Unlike Amir, what is it with the other PF Johnsons this year being so multi-cat with treys?! Wesley Johnson. James Johnson. It’s like Die Hard. “I’m special agent Johnson, and this is special agent Johnson, no relation.” Let’s hope the rest of the year works out better for the NBA Johnsons than the Die Hard guys…
Jonas Valanciunas – 10/4/0/0/0 in only 18 minutes. Coach Casey previously said JV needed “mental rest” over the All-Star break and apparently he meant to say “Oh, just kidding, I mean I’m going to give him lots of actual rest and keep shitting all over that JB Gilpin’s pre-season fantasy basketball ranking.”
Trevor Ariza – Didn’t hit a single three. I hope you’re reading this, Martyball, because, well, yeah. Did have a solid multi-cat though for 6/11/2/4/1.
Al Jefferson – Love me some Big Al. 32/12/7/1/0 shooting 15-28.
Andre Drummond – Couldn’t put a [Drumm]ond to Big Al’s ballin’, but 16/22/1/1/2 is all we care about in fantasy!
Brandon Knight – Played through a sore foot for 18/0/7/2/1 but shot only 3-13. Still, 12-12 FT and 2 TOs and it’s been a good year for me pumping up Knight. Had to rebound after mentioning Drummond there…
John Henson – Technically came off the bench, but 32 minutes to Zaza Pachulia‘s 16. We like this! 9/10/1/0/2 for the Muppet man, but those nightmares of bad FT shooting that haunt Chapel Hill fans reared it’s ugly head with a 1-4. But the minutes, opportunity, and no Larry Sanders are all there to flourish. Needs to be owned again in all leagues.
Nate Wolters – As much as I want to throw cold Wisconsin snow all over him, 15/7/8/2/0 in another trip-dub flirt and his last four games are mighty tasty. Only owned in 6% of Yahoo leagues, and I think deserves some 12-team consideration. I just grabbed him in one of my RCLs.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – 8/8/4/2/1 with a trey and no TOs. Near rainbow! Khris Middleton sprained his ankle but played through it, so some minutes could possible arise for Alphabet Soup if anything goes on with that.
Victor Oladipo – Came off the bench for 22 minutes and only 6/1/3/1/0. Buy low alert! Not surprised the Magic played everyone else in a final trade deadline showcase. Still think V.O. goes Nuts.O. down the stretch once the Magic give him the key to the tankmobile. Or I guess you could say just “tank”, but yea, you get where that was going…
Jameer Nelson – Racked up another dimebag with 13 assists. The assists and overall production had been dwindling, so this was a nice little spike.
Mike Conley – Returned from his ankle injury for a very solid 22/5/3/1/1 in 32 minutes. Throw the worries out the door! Nick Calathes goes back to the bench, but got 19 minutes and went 11/3/5/1/0 with a trey. Looks like Calathes is going to be near-20 minutes now instead of the barely 10 a game while backing up Conley, and in any league bigger than 12 I think I holding onto him.
James Johnson – I’d love to pull the “I told you so” about JJ and the bad playing time, but the 12 minutes last night was due to foul trouble. A rough game, but still like the upside, especially if any sort of trades can help that out.
Marc Gasol – Was able to play after a scary few days when he hurt his knee again right before the break, and went 8/7/4/0/2. Not good, but you’re happy he played and showed off the multi-cat. Overall – encouraging.
Tim Hardaway Jr. – Just like in the Future’s Game, he became a ThrAGNOF! 23/1/0/1/0 with four treys. The poster boy of the ThrAGNOF clothing line.
Pablo Prigioni – Dished out a dimebag out of nowhere! Gets him to 5.3 dimes a game in Feb. If that’s something you need in deeper leagues, give the Argentine Dream a spin.
LeBron James – This was a fun game to watch. LeBron just took over. Kinda made a statement to look out in the 2nd half. 42/9/6/2/0 with four treys.
Mario Chalmers – Super Mario World! 10/2/9/4/0 with two treys is exactly what I was thinking we’d see once he was back to full strength. Sure it’s been a bit since he was hurt, but multi-steals in 5 of 6, 7+ dimes in 3 of 4, along with double-digit scoring and a least a three in all of the past 5. Be sure he’s owned in your league.
Gerald Green – A career high ThrAGNOF! 36 points for Green, after scoring only 5 in two-straight games just a few back. 36/5/0/0/0 with 6 threes, ThrAGNOF!
Wilson Chandler – Is unfortunately turning more into Gerald Green than the multi-cat volleyball like I had hoped… 15/4/3 last night – shot only 4-15 – did hit two treys, but has only 6 TOTAL Stl & Blks combined in the past 10 games. He’s like a three-point shooting Tristan Thompson who doesn’t rebound. Ouch, burn!
Evan Fournier – The Virgin! Played like he finally got some action over the ASB! 25/8/4/2/0 shooting 8-19 including 3-8 from deep. We’ve liked the Virgin all year over here at Razzball, but with that said, still no Ty Lawson helped give him the 33 G minutes. Short-term though, yeah I like him. Well, and long-term too for his career.
Patrick Mills – Patty’s pub for 15 shots in 27 minutes. That’s pretty drunk! 25/5/5/0/1 in those 27 minutes. Who is letting Patty Mills block them?!
Danny Green – Kawhi Leonard was a game-time decision and didn’t quite make it, helping DG go for 39 minutes. 14/5/2/1/1 is a little light given that kind of run, but 3 treys and nice to see some multi-cat.
Next Game: Got Yahoo highlights for BKN @ UTA tonight! Ummm, yawn. It’s glad to be back daily as we return from the break with the playoffs right around the corner!
