Ask and ye shall receive (unless it’s money, I’m broke). If you see anyone I missed or guys that you think should be included (I did NOT miss Hasheem Thabeet), shout it out in the comments. I’ll tell you which tier I’d put em in or why I did not/would not include them. I tried to do ~160 players since our Razzball Commenter Leagues are 12 teams x 13 players = 156 players. Speaking of RCL’s… Want to join one? WE NEED COMMISSIONERS!!!! Learn how to be one here. There are prizes and no entry fee! Alrighty, here are the rankings. Be gentle.
Point Guards:
Top 3 overall, idiot: Chris Paul
Nom nom nom: Russell Westbrook, Ty Lawson, Kyrie Irving, Deron Williams
Nom nom: Goran Dragic, Brandon Jennings, Kyle Lowry, Mike Conley, Stephen Curry
Nom: Rajon Rondo, Steve Nash, Tony Parker, Jrue Holiday, Jeremy Lin
Boom or Bust: Raymond Felton, Damian Lillard, John Wall
Upside!!!!: Isaiah Thomas, Jeff Teague, Kemba Walker, Brandon Knight
Upside: Mo Williams, George Hill, Darren Collison
Upside down: Luke Ridnour (Own while Rubio is out), Jameer Nelson, Mario Chalmers, Greivis Vasquez
Downside: Devin Harris, Ricky Rubio, Andre Miller, Kirk Hinrich
By the wayside: Jarrett Jack, D.J. Augustin, Ramon Sessions, Jose Calderon, Austin Rivers
Shooting Guards:
Might get murdered for this: James Harden, Dwyane Wade
The Kobe Bryant Tier: Kobe Bryant
Please stay healthy: Monta Ellis, Eric Gordon
Biting my fingernails: Joe Johnson, Marcus Thornton, Manu Ginobili
Oh Hell Yeah: Kevin Martin, Klay Thompson, Wesley Matthews
Biting my toenails: Tyreke Evans, Lou Williams, Ray Allen, O.J. Mayo
Teases: Gordon Hayward, Arron Afflalo, Jason Terry, Bradley Beal
Will probably get burned: Jason Richardson, Dion Waiters, J.R. Smith, Rodney Stuckey
Your icepack for the previous tier: Jordan Crawford, Daniel Green, Alonzo Gee, Courtney Lee
Frostbitten: DeMar DeRozan, Chauncey Billups, MarShon Brooks, Tony Allen, Ben Gordon, Gerald Henderson
Small Forwards:
Top 3 overall, idiot: LeBron James, Kevin Durant
I’m sexy and I know it: Josh Smith, Carmelo Anthony, Rudy Gay
Party rocking: Paul George, Danny Granger, Andre Iguodala, Paul Pierce, Nicolas Batum
Bangarang: Danilo Gallinari, Ersan Ilyasova
Call me maybe?: Gerald Wallace, Luol Deng, Thaddeus Young, Kawhi Leonard, Andrei Kirilenko
Should I stay or should I go?: Evan Turner, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Wilson Chandler, Jared Dudley
Gangnam Style!: Jeff Green, Chandler Parsons, Brandon Rush, Jae Crowder
Lithium: Steve Novak, Harrison Barnes, Jonas Jerebko, Dorell Wright, Carlos Delfino
Smells like Teen…Nah, just smells: Brandon Roy, James Johnson, Trevor Ariza, Hedo Turkoglu
Power Forwards:
Victoria’s Secret Models: Pau Gasol, Paul Millsap, Kevin Love
Almost as sexy: Al Horford, LaMarcus Aldridge, Dirk Nowitzki
Hotter than you realize: Ryan Anderson, Anthony Davis, David Lee, Chris Bosh
But-her-face: Blake Griffin
Plain Jane: Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Zach Randolph
Sneaky hot: Kenneth Faried, Kris Humphries
Cougars: Carlos Boozer, David West, Anderson Varejao, Luis Scola, Elton Brand
Gonna holler: Kevin Seraphin, Glen Davis, Taj Gibson, Derrick Favors
Macy’s catalog models: Tiago Splitter, Michael Beasley, Trevor Booker, Amir Johnson, Gustavo Ayon
Beaten with the ugly stick: Brandon Bass, Jason Thompson, JJ Hickson, Thomas Robinson, Antawn Jamison, Shawn Marion
Centers:
Wanna know my shoe size?: Al Jefferson, Andrew Bynum
You’re HUGE: Dwight Howard (move to #1 in H2H), Marc Gasol, Greg Monroe, DeMarcus Cousins
I <3 you: Marcin Gortat, Roy Hibbert
Over-Rated (clap, clap, clapclapclap): Serge Ibaka
I might be insane: Nikola Pekovic, Brook Lopez, Joakim Noah, JaVale McGee
Playing with fire: Tyson Chandler, Andrew Bogut, Amare Stoudemire, Andrea Bargnani, Nene Hilario, Chris Kaman
Lob City: DeAndre Jordan, Omer Asik, Jonas Valanciunas
Ugh: Samuel Dalembert, Bismack Biyombo, Tristan Thompson, Spencer Hawes, Emeka Okafor
OMFG Byron Mullens: Byron Mullens
More desperate for attention than Amanda Bynes: Greg Stiemsma, Marcus Camby, DeJuan Blair, Ekpe Udoh
