For anyone who is in their early 30s (or older), this song would be familiar. Sadly, I’m giving away my age. Slim is totally not gonna be drafting me if I was a professional NBA player.
In any case, it’s the 1st week of the playoffs and where it’s either you make it to the next round, or it’s sayonara until next season. Going into the weekend, it could be do or die… as is the case for most of my teams in Razzball leagues where I hobbled into the playoff spot without Kevin Durant. So if you’re finding yourself in the similar situation of trying to get through via the band aid solution, these ideas below might help.
Let’s take it by day and some potential pick ups:Please, blog, may I have some more?
…comin’ for to carry me OUT of my fantasy playoffs! Brutal news yesterday that Kyle Lowry has to undergo surgery on his right wrist – his shooting wrist – to remove some loose bodies. Should’ve kept those bodies in a well, like Buffalo Bill! “It puts the lotion on the skin!” Without an IL spot, you’re cutting him in your redraft leagues, even with the prospect he gets a couple games in right before the playoffs. The timeline is “hopeful to return in 4-5 weeks”, which would put us in early April. Plus he’s a shooter, and gonna have a rusty wrist. Hah, that sounds like a sex thing… Moving on!
In his place, it’s time for the Cojo mojo! 11/1/6/3/0 then 14/1/6/1/0 over the weekend for Cory Joseph, with only 2 combined TO, showing what kind of sexy roto-asset he could be. But thennnnn, struggled last night – as did the Raps as a while – to knock off the Poppycockers in a 1-point win, going 6/3/4/2/0 with 2 TO. Still got 33:30 minutes, but he’s more in the fringy starting PG class (your Brogdon, McConnell, et ceteras) than in the most-own zone. You could say he’s in the friendzone. Although dudes don’t really have a friendzone, it’s only chicks that apply that logic. The friendzone is a very sexist area! After this dunk in the 2014 Western Conference Finals (back when he was on my REL team), Cojo could have his way with me any time he wanted!
Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
… A Long Ass post trade deadline analysis (couldn’t come up with a word that rhymes with automobiles). I’ll dive deep into a couple of trades (Boogie and Nerlens Noel). I’ll also cover the much hyped but somewhat boring (thanks to Boston, Indiana & Chicago!) trade deadline that has come and gone.
Oh and by the way, if you’d rather just listen to an analysis instead of read and see some copy/pasted stats from NBA.COM, just go ahead and listen to JB’s podcast.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ah, the All-Star Break. The week where fantasy basketball goes to die, but fantasy basketball writers get a few days off! Hah, sorry I probably shoulda had this post go up yesterday, but I was lazy, OK! Speaking of lazy, did you see what kind of horrendous offer the Kings caved on to deal away DeMarcus Cousins?! Well, of course you did by now, that was the world’s most rhetorical question! Kings dealt Boogie and Omri Casspi to the Pels for Buddy Hield, Tyreke Evans (reunion!), Langston Galloway, and a 1st and 2nd round pick in this summer’s draft. I mean, it’s not THE WORST deal in the world, but the first round pick being top-3 protected is a little rough. Wouldn’t it be HILARIOUS if the Pels go in like 11th or 12th for the lottery, end up drawing one of those top 3 picks, then pair one of these elite guys going pro with Boogie, Brow and Jrue… Still feels like the Kings could’ve gotten more… Wait, what was that Vlade Divac?! You DID have more on the table?! Yeesh, the Kings get this brand-spankin’ new stadium, only to have their superstar dealt mid-season with the GM openly admitting he took a lesser deal…? Did Jeffrey Loria buy the Kings too?! Meanwhile, Pels fans be dancing like this:
I actually don’t think Anthony Davis takes too big of a hit here, and remains your primary guy. He’s only taken a range from 12-24 shots the last 9 games, which doesn’t seem tough at all to maintain even with a USG-whore coming to town. I actually think it might even HELP Brow, as his TO rate has soared to 2.6 this year, and we all know Boogie is a TO vortex. Boogie is who the big hit here; his range the last 9 games is 14-30 shots (given the 30 was an outlier in that surprise win over GSW), plus he’s playing with a much better facilitating PG in Jrue Holiday. I’d expect Boogie’s AST – 4.8 on the season and spiking as of late – to drop closer to the 3.0 range. It’ll be an interesting pairing, and suddenly the Pelicans look like they could make a little noise in the playoffs. We’ll have to see if they can get out of this 23-34 hole they’re in… Wait, the Kings at 24-33 have a better record, and made the sell out for the future deal?! Hah, NBA man, NBA… GMs must be bored during the ASB as well! l Here’s a few other notes from the last few days during our NBA respite:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, super emo title for today! But what kind of irony is it that on Valentine’s Day, we might get some terrible news about Kevin Love‘s knee… After playing a few nights ago, nothing big on the news front until he was ruled out for tonight last Sunday afternoon, then yesterday news broke he’s “seeking a second opinion on his knee”. This coming after an MRI, with results that have not been revealed yet. Ugh! I traded for him a week ago in the REL as all my good injury karma is drastically flipping the past week! And tonight the Cavs go to Minny, in what could’ve been a great “revenge” game. Although, I bet he’s kinda happy he’s on the Cavs instead, hah! Andrew Wiggins is actually playing a little better lately as well, and it would’ve been nice to see them face off again… Alas, be prepared for a lengthy absence from Love, and while he’s having a great season – much better than in 15-16 – thankfully his stats to replace aren’t the tougher-to-find AST-STL-BLK. There have been a lot of bigs to emerge for PTS/REB, and for the treys, we all know you can always ThrAGNOF! So if we get some brutal news today, hop into the comments, and let me be your Love counselor! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re about 2/3 the way into the fantasy basketball regular season, but in the midst of the holidays and breaking down the per position opportunities, I wasn’t able to present the overall opposing ease rankings. Hopefully, most of you reading this are doing alright, or at least within striking distance of the few remaining playoff spots in your leagues. There’s still plenty of games to be played, for coaches (ahem, Earl Watson and Vogel to name a few) to mess up, and injuries to pop up (Chris Paul). For those who are clinging onto some borderline standard league players due to their name, this is usually the time of the year when you have to make decisions on whether holding such players become an obstacle for your team to make the playoffs or end up being anchor(s) to your team that could have your team lose a playoff spot you’ve held for most of the season. By looking at the matchup rankings, you can look to increase the number of slots to stream if your team needs some help in the standings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Happy MLK day! Sorry the notes were a little late this morning, I have the day off work and decided to sleep in! Holidays be holidays! And this is a great one – not only for the message and for one of the most influential men of the 20th century – but for the day-NBA we’re about to get! Hell yes, day games!!! [email protected] Poppycockers starts it off at 1:00 PM EST and games stagger their way through 10:30 tonight. So be sure and set your line-ups early this morning/afternoon, and get ready for early action to kick off week 13.
As you all know, I write with an extreme stream-of-consciousness-ness (as you can tell by that mastering of the English language there), and I’ve decided I’m too excited to turn this into a standard open! Big stuff happening in the REL (update up in a few hours), I’m about to watch the NBA all afternoon with a day off work, and Grey put out his top 10 for Fantasy Baseball this morning! It’s like Christmas for me in fantasy sports land! Then in the down time between games and Razzball writing, I’m going to spend my day off playing Rocket League, which I just got addicted to. This is turning into the best day ever… I guess I need to get to some daily notes at some point, ahhhhhh! Here’s what went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, it’s New York, and it’s Derrick Rose. Mo’ drama! After attending shootaround and everything seeming about status quo, Rose just flat out didn’t show up for last night’s game against the Pelicans. Didn’t tell anyone, didn’t shoot someone a text… He had no problem sending all sorts of horrible texts to that ex-girlfriend… The AWOL was so abrupt, that apparently the Knicks sent team representatives to his apartment and his teammates were praying for him! Yikes. According to reports, he’s fine and it was a “family issue” in Chicago, but this is redonk! I can’t remember a starting player just “not showing up” for a game, much less a former MVP! Things have gotten super sour in NY… Then the actual game last night happened! …which was an absolute shitshow. At least Brandon Jennings played well, as he’s been given a golden opportunity to start and show what he can do again (20/5/4/2/0 with 4 treys and 2 TO in 29 minutes – I would probably give him a spec add in 12ers based on this drama). But nothing but downhill from there. Carmelo Anthony got ejected for arguing, probably because the Knicks were down 20 and his knees hurt. “My fingers hurt!” “Well now your back is gonna hurt, because you just pulled landscaping duty!” Then our
favorite Irishman Kyle O’Quinn apparently hit the Jameson too hard on the bench watching the Knicks implode, and fouled the crap outta Anthony Davis, causing the brittle 7 footer to fly into the stands and exit with a hip injury.
I’m sure that’s exactly what all Brow owners wanted to see, in a game with NO up 22 in the late 3rd… See, calling him KOQ makes all sorts of sense now! We call that defensive play a “KOQ block”. The Knicks ended up losing at home to the Pelicans, have lost 8 of 9, and have fallen to 17-21 (I erroneously on the Podcast thought there were still .500, man this fell apart quick!). Yup. The Poppycockers ladies and gents! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Happy 2017, Razzball Nation!
After immense pressure from the DA’s office to flip on Tommy DeVito and Paulie Cicero, [redacted] needed protection to secure his testimony in putting those good fellas away. It didn’t start on the best foot either, as the WitSec guys asked [redacted] if he had any distinguishing marks and he lied about his tattoos… But the man formerly known as [redacted] changed his name to the very inconspicuous James Johnson, and moved his family to Miami. After being a humbling under-the-radar role player, Johnson was supposed to continue as merely a minutes-filler, amongst an uninteresting mix of PF to get through the tough void of losing Chris Bosh. He’s supposed to just shy away from dunk attempts and stand around on offense…
Well, way to ruin that, Johnson! We can’t protect you no more! An absolute monster weekend from Johnson, going 22/3/6/2/2 against the Celtics on Friday night with 4 treys, then followed it up with 20/7/3/1/1 against the Pistons. After a rough stretch of FT last week, he made 6-7 in these games too. With the added onus on O (no Goran Dragic or Justise Winslow OR Hassan Whiteside last night), he is turning it over a little too much (8 total in these two games), but with all the injuries and a void in playmaking on the Heat right now, Johnson is as erect as ever. He’s playing SF, PF, and even some C right now, so while we shouldn’t expect the 34 minutes like he got against the Pistons, he should be pretty solidified in his 25ish MPG role even when everyone is healthy. He’s gotta be a must-own in all leagues while this hot, as he has brazenly blown his cover. Hopefully no one recognizes him as [redacted]! Here’s what else went down over New Year’s weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
NICK YOUNG HIT A GAME-WINNING THREE FOR THE LAKERS!!!!!
Yes, this Nick Young. The Shaqtin’ a Fool Hall of Famer hit the game-winning 3 for the Lakers. Granted, the play wasn’t designed for him, as he intercepted a pass intended for Lou Williams (13 points, 5 assists) to get the shot off. But he finished with 17 points (6-12 FG, 4-7 3pt), 2 rebounds, and 2 blocks. Heading into the game, he was leading the league in free throw percentage.
Under new head coach Luke Walton, Swaggy P has looked like a different player. While Walton may be the main reason, I think he’s playing better because he is no longer engaged to Iggy Azalea. Just like in her rap career, she was taking down everybody associated with her, forcing even T.I. to drop her from his label.
Whatever the reason, the Lakers are happy for the resurgence and fantasy owners should grab him for scoring, threes, and FT shooting because he’s ain’t no mediocre.Please, blog, may I have some more?